Authors: Katie Reus
“Braden?” she whispered his name without turning around.
“I’m right here.” He kneeled next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you away from this.” Braden gently steered her in the direction of the kitchen.
Numbly, she clutched the flimsy material of her underwear strap and tried to hold it together as she allowed him to lead her to the other room. Her rubbery legs were barely holding her up. Something registered in her brain that her weakness was from shock but probably from blood loss too. She kept her back turned to the attached living room as she sank onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table.
He pulled one of the other chairs up and sat next to her. His dark eyes were haunted. “Did he rape you?”
She shook her head at the question, then found her voice. “No, but he was going to.”
His jaw twitched almost imperceptibly. “I’ll find you some more clothes and we’ll patch up your arm and stomach. He’s never going to hurt you or anyone again—”
“How’d you find me?” Lilly’s words came out raspy.
“Vanessa found some evidence that Murphy couldn’t have possibly killed one of the victims and we got a sketch from Vegas P.D. from a victim of his that survived. Then when your FBI friend called I called my grandmother trying to get a hold of you and she told me where you’d gone. I got here as soon as I could…I’m sorry it wasn’t faster,” he said quietly.
She shook her head, trying to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but she couldn’t make her voice work. She wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for a week straight. Anything to distance herself from the memories of tonight.
“Will you be okay by yourself for a minute while I grab some bandages? The EMTs should be here soon but I want to stop the bleeding.”
She nodded because she couldn’t find enough energy to respond as he hurried away. Their nightmare was finally over even if it didn’t feel like it. She wanted to look over her shoulder to see James’s dead body again but couldn’t bring herself to turn around.
A few moments later Braden sat back down next to her. He had a first aid kit and a towel. “You can cover yourself with this, but I need to patch your stomach and arm.”
Before taking off the jacket she leaned back in the chair as he started cleaning the wound on her stomach. She hissed slightly and he paused. His dark eyes were filled with pain as he looked at her.
“Don’t stop. I know you need to clean it,” she gritted out.
“You might need stitches,” he murmured as he continued his cleansing.
Probably not on her stomach but definitely on her arm. As the world went in and out of focus she closed her eyes for a moment.
When he was finished, he helped her take off the jacket. After covering herself with the towel, she held out her bleeding arm. James hadn’t nicked any veins or arteries. From his files she knew he cut his victims sixty-six times—and all because he’d been in that military school sixty-six days—before raping and killing them. No doubt he had experience in inflicting maximum pain without killing them first.
Braden was gentle as he cleaned her other wound, but she still hissed at the antiseptic he applied. Whatever he was using burned her skin, sending prickles of awareness skittering down her arm. At least she was alive.
“What the hell were you thinking coming out here by yourself?” he muttered. Even though his question was low and he was being attentive, it still pissed her off but mainly because she was embarrassed.
Her actions had been rash but she hadn’t been willing to risk Barbara Allbright dying if she could have done something to help. “Did you find Barbara anywhere?”
“No.” His answer was soft, gentle and for some reason it made her cry.
She wanted all his gentleness and desperately wanted to lean on him but didn’t know how they’d ever get past something like this. He’d killed his own brother for her. His psychotic, monster of a brother. She sure as hell wasn’t sorry James was dead but she hated the fact that he’d caused Braden so much pain.
He’d put a chasm between them once and even though he was dead he was doing it again. No matter what happened, she and Braden had no future together. How could they after all this?
When Braden gently cupped her cheek and swiped her tears she leaned forward and wrapped her good arm around his neck. He murmured soothing sounds against her hair as he pulled her into a gentle hug. He was careful not to pull her too tight and she appreciated it. She had no clue if he was saying actual words but she didn’t care.
She wasn’t sure how much time passed but eventually he pulled back and helped her back into the jacket. He left with the promise of finding her more clothes. James had cut hers from her body when she’d been passed out and the police would need to collect them as evidence anyway. Bracing her hands against the table, she stood up. The jacket hung to mid thigh so she zipped it up and stumbled for the front door.
As she stepped outside an ambulance and another police car zoomed up to the house. Braden was standing in front of the house and waving them over. He paused when he saw her but she couldn’t muster enough energy to do anything other than flop down on the porch and lean her head against one of the support poles. She was just so tired. Blue and red lights flashed, illuminating the porch in a harsh light so she closed her eyes.
Boots stomped up and down the stairs and in and out of the cabin and there was a steady murmur of voices, but she managed to block most of it out.
“Lilly.” Braden’s hand on her shoulder startled her.
Lilly’s eyes flew open. “What is it?”
“The paramedics are here to take you to the hospital.”
“I don’t need a hospital. I need my bed.” She knew that was irrational but the words just popped out.
“You’ve got to get checked out, honey, and I know you’re going to need stitches. You’ll get a bed and they’re going to take the best care of you. I need to finish up here but as soon as I’m done, I’ll meet you at the hospital. I don’t want to leave you but—”
“It’s fine, Braden. He’s dead and no one is going to hurt us anymore.” She hated the almost guilty look in his eyes as he stared at her. She wasn’t sure what he felt guilty for. He’d saved her. Averting her gaze, she focused on the ground. “Thank you for saving me.” She couldn’t remember if she’d said it earlier but she certainly meant it. Saying thank you felt lame but she didn’t know what else to say.
“You don’t ever have to thank me for that.” He started to say something else but two very polite, uniformed paramedics appeared out of nowhere to help her into the ambulance. Even though she hated being manhandled, she decided to make an exception this once. If it allowed her to get some much needed sleep, she’d let them take her anywhere.
Braden tried to talk to her as they led her away, but she didn’t turn around. Looking at him or talking to him would ensure a breakdown. She still felt exposed and vulnerable and knew if she started crying she’d never stop. Even though James was dead, she could still feel his blank gaze watching her, staring at her naked body, touching her, preparing to torture and kill her.
Two Days Later
Braden steered into Lilly’s driveway and parked next to her rental car. He wasn’t sure when she’d picked it up but he didn’t have much of a clue what she’d done since leaving the hospital. After putting his truck into park he rehearsed what he wanted to say to her one more time.
He still couldn’t believe the stubborn woman had checked herself out of the hospital before he’d gotten there. Then, she’d sent her statement to Vanessa’s attention and refused to take his calls. In addition to handling his brother’s burial arrangements—even though he just wanted to burn the damn body—he was trying to deal with his feelings of actually killing his brother. He couldn’t understand what had happened to make his brother so evil. They’d been raised in the same house, had the same upbringing and all the same opportunities.
The one thing that mattered most though was straightening out everything with Lilly.
He let her run away from him last time but he’d be damned if he let her get away again. They belonged together. He simply needed to convince her of that. After a glance at his watch, he got out of the truck and headed up the walkway. It was after nine so he knew she’d be awake.
He rang the doorbell, then knocked. Hard. A shadow moved behind the peephole, but Lilly didn’t respond so he knocked again. “I know you’re in there, Lilly. Open the damn door.” Okay, not exactly how he’d rehearsed his speech.
“Go away.” Even through the door, she sounded tired.
“We need to talk.”
“Leave me alone. I’ll call you later.”
Gritting his teeth, he turned and stalked back to his truck. He wouldn’t hold his breath waiting for her to call. He’d been trying to get her to return his calls for two damn days. He’d driven by her place half a dozen times and thinking she’d eventually call him, he’d wanted to give her space especially after what she’d been through. But he was done waiting. He slipped the key into the ignition but stopped when he remembered he still had Lloyd Redford’s key. He popped open the center console and snatched it.
Seconds later, he opened the front door and stepped inside. “Lilly?”
“Braden?” Her voice carried from the kitchen with a dose of uncertainty.
“Are you decent?” he asked as he strode toward the kitchen. He didn’t care if she was decent. If anything, he really hoped she wasn’t.
She pushed up from the kitchen table as he entered. “What the hell are you doing? How did you get in here? I know I took that key from out front!”
His entire body lit on fire at the sight of her. Wearing a long pink striped pajama set, she looked tired and good enough to eat. Her dark hair fell around her face in waves and she didn’t have a scrap of makeup on. Still, he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms. Since that wasn’t going to happen, he decided on something neutral to start the conversation.
“We need to talk…Got any coffee left?” He nodded toward the mug on the table.
She rolled her eyes and sat back down. “There’s about one cup left. Help yourself,” she muttered.
After pouring himself a mug, he took a seat across from Lilly. He hated the dark circles ringed under her eyes. The closer he was, the more predominant they seemed.
Might as well get right to the point. “Why haven’t you been taking my calls?”
She raked a shaky hand through her hair as she stared at the table. “I need time to decompress after everything that happened. Can you blame me?”
“You shouldn’t be alone right now.” More importantly, she should be where she belonged, with him.
Lilly finally met his gaze. “All the monsters in my life are dead. Why not?” The muted pain in her voice tore at his insides like razor wires.
“We found Barbara Allbright. She was passed out in the woods not far from the cabin.”
She nodded. “I saw it on the news. How is she?”
“Physically she’ll heal, but I have a feeling she’s going to need a lot of counseling.” Something told him she’d come through it though. The woman was obviously a fighter.
When it was apparent Lilly didn’t plan to respond, Braden continued. “How long are you staying in town?”
She paused as if she might not tell him, then she shrugged. “About a month. My boss is making me take some time off.”
A thick silence built between them. Finally he spoke. “So why’d you leave the hospital without waiting for me?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to get out of there and I didn’t want to deal with us or questions about anything really.”
Swallowing back fear of rejection, he reached across the table and touched his fingers to hers. When she didn’t pull away, he threaded them together. “Why are you pushing me out of your life?”
“
Reality,
Braden. What real chance do we have together? I don’t live here. You’re tied to Hudson Bay. I don’t plan to quit my job anytime soon and I know you don’t either. I’m going to be dealing with what happened for a while—we both are. I mean, good Lord, you killed your brother, Braden. If what we had was a fling while I was in town then we just need to cut the cord right now. I can’t be around you knowing there’s no future. It hurts too damn much. The first time I left almost killed me, Braden.” The words poured from her like machine gun fire.
He stared at her incredulously as he digested all she’d admitted to him. A harsh laugh escaped. “A fling? You really are out of your mind if you think that. I don’t want you to quit your job but that doesn’t mean we can’t make this work.”
“Well, there’s something else I didn’t tell you. I’m an agent, Braden, not an analyst. I travel the world in an undercover capacity. It’s not always dangerous but often it is. The past year I haven’t done anything big because of all my therapy but sometimes I have to leave at a moment’s notice and it’s unlikely that I’ll ever be able to tell you what I’m doing or where I’m going.”
“I know.”
“What do you mean, ‘I know’?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t know for sure, but considering the way you handle a weapon and some of the training you mentioned, I had a fairly good idea there was more to your job than you let on.”
“That doesn’t disregard the fact that you shot your own brother for me.”
“Is that your only argument?”
“Isn’t that enough? What’s wrong with you, why do you want to be with me?”
“I think that much should be obvious. I want forever from you, Lilly. But I’m willing to take things slow.” Not
too
slow, but he didn’t voice that.
“Really?” Her green eyes flared with something he couldn’t put his finger on, but it gave him hope.
“Hell yes. We’ve got a decade to make up for.”
At his words, her expression darkened. “Vanessa told me your brother was being cremated.”
He slightly straightened at the abrupt change of subject. “Yeah. I couldn’t bear to put him in the family plot. Not after…” He shook his head, unable to continue.
Braden didn’t know that he’d ever get over knowing he was related to such a monster. Part of him felt guilty for
not
being sorry James was dead. Maybe that meant something was wrong with him but he couldn’t dredge up even a little remorse. The man had raped and killed too many women. Some they might not ever know about. Not to mention he’d almost raped and killed the woman Braden loved. When he thought about the families James had destroyed, rage flowed through him.
In a surprising move, Lilly scooted her chair around the table so that their knees were touching. Electricity hummed through him at the brief contact. He’d been busier than he could ever remember being over the last two days but he’d missed her something fierce. Her absence had made his feelings for her absolutely clear. He loved her. No doubt about it. Now he needed to convince her of that.
“Did you ever figure out why…well, why?” Her question was strangled.
She didn’t have to explain because he understood. “Sort of. He kept a diary. Mainly ranting about how unfair the world was but he also kept detailed accounts of his killings.” There were more murdered women than Braden had originally thought and according to James he actually had killed Abby Murphy—he’d just been interrupted which was why she hadn’t been burned with the cattle prod—but he left that part out for now. “You were mentioned throughout it. So was I. We’ve got a profiler analyzing it, but from what we’ve gathered so far, he was delusional. They also think he might have been a sociopath. James hated me for being the ‘golden boy’ as he referred to me, and he somehow imagined you’d rejected him in favor of me. His delusions and anger got worse as he grew older, but the trigger for his rage seems to have been when he was raped in military school. You became the focus of a lot of his rage and over the years it built until you became this fantasy woman he needed to destroy. It sounds like he would have come after you sooner, but it was almost impossible to track you down. And not that we have any doubts it was him, but we also got the DNA results back from the sealed juvenile file we were waiting on and…it was definitely him.”
Lilly pressed a hand to her abdomen. “What about Greg Murphy? I heard he was still in custody.”
“He was more involved than he originally let on. He tried to play dumb, but it turns out he’d been in touch with James. My brother wanted Murphy’s help, but Murphy turned him down. James was trying to blackmail him for something they did over a decade ago, but from the sound of it, Murphy told him to shove it. As far as we know, he wasn’t involved in any of the killings, but we could uncover more so I’m not writing him off as a suspect.”
“What was James trying to blackmail him for?” She shivered as she said his name and Braden wondered if it was involuntary.
“Don’t know. Yet.” But he planned to find out.
She frowned. “What about those pictures of me at his house? James told me that he’d taken them. Was Murphy involved?”
“So far it looks like they were all planted by James. So were the plane tickets. He just wanted to keep us chasing our tails. I don’t think he really cared if Murphy was blamed. He was just a distraction.”
“What a mess,” she muttered.
“You said it.” Sifting through all the evidence was turning into a nightmare of paperwork. Not that he minded. Lilly was safe and that was all that mattered.
She grabbed one of his hands and squeezed. “I know I said it but thank you for saving my life.”
“You don’t ever have to thank me for something like that.”
She bit her bottom lip and he worried about what she was going to say next. “How are you doing with everything? I mean…I know James was a monster but he was still your brother.”
“The brother I thought I had is dead.” His throat squeezed as he looked into her worried eyes. He’d almost lost her and that’s all he cared about. Dwelling on his dead brother was pointless. He wished James had died in that plane crash. Even thinking about all the evil his brother had committed made him sick. “Come here.” Taking her off guard, he grabbed her by the waist and tugged her so that she was sitting in his lap.
“What are you doing?” she murmured, even as she wrapped an arm around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder.
“Touching you. Making sure you’re real.” He inhaled her sweet scent and clutched onto her, afraid if he let her go she’d disappear. After all that had happened, he couldn’t take her leaving.
“I’m real all right.” Her words tickled his neck.
He tightened his hold, wishing he could absorb her into his skin. “You can’t shut me out of your life anymore. I won’t let you.”
A light sigh escaped. “I know.”
“I was serious when I said I wanted to make a go of this. I’ll come see you when I can and maybe you can fly here some weekends. People make long distance relationships work every day.” He increased his grip around her, hoping he wasn’t setting himself up for a huge disappointment. The last couple days had been hard. For all he knew she wanted to put this behind her and leave every part of her old life in the dust, him included.
“I really am sorry I shut you out. I didn’t know another way to deal with all this,” she said quietly. Before he could respond she shifted so that she was facing him. “We’ll also have a whole month together before I leave.”
“Are you saying you want to…”
A soft, almost reserved smile touched her lips. “If you’re willing, I want to see where this thing between us will go.”
“I love you, Lilly. It might sound cheesy but when I thought I might lose you, my biggest regret was that I’d never get to tell you.”
Wordlessly, she touched her lips to his. They were soft, inviting and everything he fantasized about. As her tongue stroked against his in gentle, erotic strokes, a shudder of need rolled through him. He savored her taste and was ready to draw her into his arms when she pulled back. For a split second his heart squeezed at the sudden loss.
Then she said, “I love you too. Don’t think I ever stopped.”