Deadly Is the Kiss (18 page)

Wetting her lips, Juliana said, “I have a feeling this isn’t going to end well.”

She watched a flat smile twist the corner of his mouth. “You could say that,” he murmured. “She confessed that she’d killed him, but claimed that she hadn’t had any choice. Said that her husband had been abusive and that she’d killed him in self-defense.” He turned his head, locking those piercing, storm-dark eyes with hers. “Then she pleaded with me to help her hide, while I searched for a way to clear her name. I was able to accomplish the first, but not the second. Instead, I eventually proved that she was nothing but a two-bit liar. She’d offed the old guy for his money, and his valet had helped her. The two of them had been lovers all along. As it turned out, there weren’t many men she knew that she hadn’t slept with.”

“What happened?” she whispered, her throat tight with emotion.

“She ran, confident that I wouldn’t have the heart to go after her.”

“But you did.” It wasn’t a question. She could see the truth written in the grim lines of his expression.

He nodded slowly. “I didn’t have a choice. I’d let her manipulate me, and because of that, she’d almost gotten away with murder. It was up to me to set it right.” He leaned back in his chair again with a tired sigh, rubbing a hand roughly over his mouth, before saying, “It took a long time, but I finally tracked them down.”

“Where is she now?”

He stared back, unrelenting. “She’s dead.”

“Oh, God.”

His voice was raw. “By the time I caught up with her, she’d killed several more times. Claimed she’d gotten a taste for it. She tried to kill me. I killed her first.”

“I’m sorry,” she said hoarsely, finally understanding why it was so difficult for him to put his trust in her. He’d been scarred inside as deeply as she had, suffering that same soul-sucking pain. The kind that made you feel broken and raw and bleeding.

Staring at his stark expression, a new flurry of emotions vibrated through her with a sweet, shocking warmth, but she fought them back, sensing the danger. No matter how incredible it would be to dream of being the woman that would change his views on the subject of love, the fact remained that Ashe Granger would be a hard man to reach, likely closing himself off from anyone who ever tried to get close to his heart. And he would almost certainly strike first, cheating before he could be cheated on, like a preemptive strike against the thing he most feared: being hurt by someone he desperately wanted to love him.

What a fascinating contradiction he was, and what a shallow bitch she felt like for projecting her past experiences with men onto him. In truth, she and Ashe were more alike than she could have ever realized.

And they were so wrong for each other, it was surprising they didn’t repel like two opposing sides of a magnet. Bad enough when one person had trust issues, but when both parties were carrying the same scars it was a soap opera just waiting to happen.

The sudden clatter of plates breaking in the café’s kitchen made her jump, and she realized with a flush how long she’d been sitting there in the candlelight, simply staring at him, absorbed in her thoughts.

Clearing her throat, she held his dark stare as she said, “I’m not like her, Ashe. I’m not a criminal, and I’m not trying to con you. And before this is over, I’ll have figured out some way to prove that to you.”

“And then what, Jules? We’ll settle down together, fucking like minks, and be a happy couple?” he drawled, his tone more mocking than serious.

“No,” she answered honestly, shaking her head. “I would never expect that of you. And even if I did, I know it wouldn’t be possible.”

“And why’s that?” he asked in a silky rasp, his dark brows lifting.

“Because even if I manage to change your mind about me, there’s still one thing we’d never be able to get past.”

His reply was soft. “And what’s that?”

“The fact that while I might trust you with my life, Ashe…I could never learn to trust you with my heart. And you could never truly trust me with yours.”

* * *

I
RRITATED
BY
THE
WAY
the conversation had gone, Ashe suggested they stop in the club and have another drink before heading up to their room for the night. God only knew he needed the sleep, having only caught a handful of hours here and there since they’d left London, and it was starting to wear him down. Not to mention the constant worry about Juliana’s safety and the way she kept stripping down his barriers, getting him to talk about things he knew were best left alone.

But he needed the drink more.

It was hell, treading his way through those emotional minefields with her. And yet, the more time he spent with Juliana, the clearer it became that he’d been more infatuated with Gretchen than in love with her. It’d made him angry when he’d realized what she truly was, but it hadn’t destroyed him. He’d picked himself up and had gone on, more cynical and untrusting, yeah—but her loss hadn’t torn out a part of his soul.

Juliana, on the other hand, was already ripping him to pieces, battering her way past the walls he used to close himself off. Walls he needed…that he wasn’t willing to give up.

He didn’t know why he’d told her about Gretchen, when he’d never shared that story with anyone before. But one thing was becoming crystal clear with every moment Ashe spent in Juliana Sabin’s company: she was dangerous not only to his peace of mind, but to his entire bloody existence. And if he wasn’t careful, he was going to find himself in a situation he couldn’t get out of. Which meant he needed to start getting a handle on things now, before they slipped so far out of his reach he couldn’t get them back again.

As she swung up onto a stool at a small table in the back of the nightclub’s front room, he said, “It’ll take forever if we wait for someone to take our order. I’ll just go up to the bar. What do you want?”

She started to tell him, but a shape-shifter walking by diverted his attention, the guy’s green eyes sweeping over Juliana with obvious appreciation. Ashe could feel his talons growing warm beneath the tips of his fingers, aching to slip their skin and tear into the shifter with an animalistic frenzy.

Giving the shifter a low growl and a glimpse of fang, Ashe was still watching the jackass to make sure he didn’t look at Juliana again, when she reached over and touched his arm. “Ashe, did you hear me?”

Sucking in a sharp breath, he slid his gaze back to hers. “Sorry. What was that?”

“I’d like another glass of red wine, please. A Shiraz if they’ve got it.”

“Don’t go anywhere,” he warned her, confident they hadn’t been tracked to Nice, but not wanting to take any chances.

Despite the repairs that had been going on that afternoon, the club was packed with people, most of whom he sensed were from the clans, which wasn’t uncommon. Humans tended to be uncomfortable in a crowd of nonhumans, even if they didn’t understand exactly why.

Finally making his way to the bar, Ashe ordered a glass of wine and a double whiskey, careful to keep one eye on Juliana. There was a strange sense of dread simmering inside him, as if he was about to make a colossal mistake. One that would have serious repercussions, ending in a shitload of regret.

“Here ya go, buddy.” The bartender set two glasses before him, but Ashe couldn’t unclench his hands from his sides to reach out and grab them, his fangs suddenly bursting into his mouth with a searing pulse of pain. A savage wave of hunger rolled through him so strongly it nearly brought him to his knees. Closing his eyes, he slumped against the hard edge of the bar, panting, struggling for control, when a cool hand reached out and touched his arm.

“You look hungry, Ashe.”

Lifting his lashes, Ashe found himself staring into Lacey Denniver’s gray eyes, her red hair gleaming in the smoky lights of the bar.

“What?” he croaked, his voice so thick it was barely recognizable. Panic flooded through his veins, while a primal fear pounded through his head. The fear that he’d made a critical mistake in thinking he could be near Juliana and control the Burning. He couldn’t control shit, and if he didn’t do something fast, he was going to charge through these people, throw her little ass over his shoulder, and take her someplace where he could do every raw, raunchy thing that he wanted to her, before thrusting his fangs into her tight flesh and claiming her as his own.

Then they’d both be screwed, and he’d have no one to blame but himself.

“I said you look hungry,” Lacey murmured, edging so close that her breasts pressed against his arm, the sultry smile on her rouged lips telling him exactly what she was offering. “I normally don’t encroach on another woman’s date, but we’re old…friends. And you look desperate, Ashe.”

Desperate. Yeah, that was right. And terrified enough to take her up on her offer, knowing damn well it was going to rip Juliana away from him. She’d still need his help in finding proof of the assassination orders, but she would never let him touch her again. He knew that as well as he knew this was the perfect opportunity to set things between them on the right path.

Do it. Right now. Cut the fucking cord and save your ass, while you still have the chance.

Putting his arm around Lacey’s waist, Ashe said the gruff words that would set Juliana Sabin forever out of his reach. “Let’s get away from this crowd.”

Ten minutes later, when he came back into the front room, Juliana was gone.

CHAPTER TEN

J
ULIANA
COULDN
’
T
BELIEVE
she was standing outside in the chilly night air, talking to Josh Everett, the older brother of a childhood friend. She’d been on the verge of tears after watching Ashe and Lacey head into the club’s back room together, his hand on the small of her back, and was just getting up to leave when she spotted Josh coming in the front entrance with a group of friends. She’d tried to turn before he recognized her, but hadn’t been fast enough. He’d noticed her instantly, leaving his friends behind to catch up with her as she tried to make her way out the back exit.

At first Juliana was terrified Josh might say something that would reveal she was an escaped convict, but he’d seemed to know she didn’t want to be spotted, angling his body so that his friends couldn’t see her as they went out the back door together.

Staring up at his handsome face, she said, “Josh, I can’t believe it’s you. It’s been so long.”

Concern darkened his eyes. “Jules, I thought you were in the Wasteland. How did you—?”

She cut him off. “Please, don’t ask anything about what I’m doing here,” she pleaded, gripping his forearm and pulling him deeper into the shadowed walkway that ran between the nightclub and the café. “I don’t want to put you in danger.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, then changed his mind, probably sensing that it would just send her running. He pushed one hand through the light brown strands of his hair, the familiar gesture taking her back to the weekends she’d shared with his family. His sister Jackie had been her best friend since the age of six, and Juliana had grown up with a huge crush on Josh, who was older than her and Jackie by five years. She’d never told him, but she’d always suspected that he knew. He’d even asked her out when he’d moved back home after university, and she would have said yes, if it hadn’t been for Raphe.

The years had been good to him, adding a maturity to his looks that probably had women chasing after him in droves, his athletic build one that any female would appreciate.

“Can we at least talk for a little while?” he asked, catching and squeezing her hand. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but I’ve…I’ve missed you. We all have.”

Juliana knew she should say no and head back up to her room to confront Ashe when he returned. But…she just wasn’t ready yet, her emotions still too shredded to face him. And that was assuming he even bothered to go back to their room tonight.

Knowing she needed a distraction, she gave Josh a wobbly smile. “I don’t have much time, but…I’d like that. We could take a walk in the park across the street.”

They headed toward the empty park, leaving the noise of the nightclub behind as they walked together down the winding path that cut through the sloping hills. The park spread out over several city blocks, the wintry trees softened by the twinkling white lights that had been strung through their boughs, creating a magical effect in the moonlit darkness.

Noticing her shiver, Josh slipped off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders.

“Thanks,” she murmured, keeping a careful eye on their surroundings. Ashe had bought her a knife when they’d gone shopping, and she was wearing the blade in a sheath on her calf. She felt better about being out in the open knowing she was armed, but didn’t want to take any chances with Josh’s safety.

“How’s your family?” he asked, reaching down and taking her cold hand in his.

“Good. I mean, as good as can be expected,” she told him, finding the entire situation surreal. For a moment, it had felt so good to simply walk beside him, as if she’d gone back in time and chosen a different path for her life, agreeing to go out with Josh instead of thinking she could handle a man like Raphe Delacourt. She’d been so stupid, and so many people had paid for her mistake.

And now she was putting Josh’s life in danger by letting him be seen with her, just so she could keep from facing what had happened back in the club. God, did she never learn?

Yes, it had been like a knife in her heart, watching Ashe disappear with the busty redhead. But she’d known what the score was. She hadn’t expected him to be exclusive—had known, when she’d accepted his deal, that he would sleep with other women. That’s the only reason she’d accepted it in the first place, thinking she could satisfy her body’s craving for him without risking her heart. After all, only an idiot would fall in love with a man who was as promiscuous as Ashe Granger.

It’s just too bad I didn’t realize I fit into that embarrassing category before we left London.

She flinched, shoving that painful thought into the back of her mind, unable to deal with it right then. Instead, she forced herself to accept the fact that none of this was Ashe’s fault. The guy hadn’t broken any promises to her, because he hadn’t made any. And she still needed his help with her family.

So she’d go back to the bar, and talk to him. The physical part of their relationship was going to have to end, but she’d find some other way to ensure his help. She didn’t have any money, the Sabins’ funds seized by the Council when they’d been banished, but there had to be something she could offer him. Who knew? Now that he’d gotten his fill of her, maybe he’d decide to keep helping her simply out of honor.

“Jules? Are you okay?”

“What?” She blinked, startled, and found herself standing in the middle of the path, staring up at Josh’s worried face. God, she’d just been standing there, clutching his hand, so lost in her thoughts she’d probably looked catatonic. “I’m sorry. I, um, just have a lot on my mind. And I’m…hungry,” she added, completely surprised by the husky words as they spilled from her lips. What on earth was she doing? She wasn’t hungry. She’d had an entire bag of blood from the pack Gideon had left in their room before going down to dinner.

But she
was
jealous. And heartbroken.

Mistaking the pain on her face for hunger, Josh gave her an easy smile. His eyes burned a little brighter, the rise of desire in his warm scent impossible to miss.

“It’s okay,” he said, pulling her closer as he turned his face to the side, exposing the masculine line of his throat. “Take whatever you need.”

He wasn’t as tall as Ashe, but she still had to lift up on her tiptoes to reach him. Bracing her hands against his solid chest, she closed her eyes as she nuzzled his skin, her fangs pulsing as they lengthened. But as she drew in a deep breath, the warm scent filling her nose wasn’t…the right one. He smelled good, but not…not like Ashe. He didn’t smell like
hers
.

Like hers?

Ha! As if! A bitter sound erupted from her lips, that sharp burn of pain cutting deeper, and she reacted by sinking her fangs into Josh’s strong throat, his blood hitting her tongue in a smooth spill of heat.

“No…stop!” a voice shouted in her mind. “This isn’t right!”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, quickly sealing the small puncture wounds and pulling away. She was shaking so hard she could barely talk, but she slipped off his jacket and handed it back to him. “I’m sorry, Josh. Thank you…thank you for your offer. But I can’t do this.”

He lifted his hand, cupping her cheek as his pale gaze moved over her face, taking in each line of strain. “You look so sad, Jules. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want to come and stay with my family?”

Tears burned at the backs of her eyes, roughening her voice. “Oh, Josh. That’s so sweet of you. But I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to—”

Her words broke off into a scream as a fist suddenly shot over her shoulder, connecting with Josh’s face in a sickening crunch that knocked the vamp off his feet, sending him crashing back into one of the twinkling trees. With horrified eyes, she watched Ashe come around her side, stalking toward Josh’s prone body.

“Ashe, stop!” she yelled, realizing he must have caught her scent outside the club and followed it to the park. Reaching out and grabbing on tight to his arm, she yanked with all her strength, struggling to keep him from throwing another punch. “His sister was my best friend! Don’t hurt him!”

“I’m not gonna hurt him,” he snarled, trying to shake her off. “I’m just gonna beat the shit out of him.”

“No!” she shouted, shoving herself in front of him. “He didn’t do anything wrong!”

“He had his bloody hands on you!” he growled, glaring down at her with a molten, glittering look of fury.

“Then beat up on me,” she snapped, pushing against his chest. “But leave him out of it!”

“Beat up on…” Disgust washed over his angry expression. “I would never lay a finger on you, woman!”

“And you’re not going to hit him, either,” she said, fisting her hands in his sweater. She glanced over her shoulder at Josh, who had managed to pull himself up to his feet, the back of his wrist pressed to his bleeding nose. “Please, go,” she said.

His brows were drawn together in a scowl. “You know this guy?”

She responded with a tight nod. “He’s…with me. Helping me. Please, just go.”

“You gonna be okay?” he asked, his gaze shooting over her head at Ashe with obvious concern.

“I’ll be fine. Just go, Josh. And please, for your safety, don’t tell anyone that you’ve seen me.”

“I won’t,” he grunted, and she could see that he was afraid to leave her.

“I promise I’ll be okay, Josh. But I’m sor—”

“Don’t,” he said, holding up his hands. “It wasn’t your fault.” The glare he cut toward Ashe made it clear whose fault he thought it was. A muscle pulsed in his jaw, his gray eyes burning with anger, but he agreed with a nod, then turned and headed back down the path, picking up the jacket he’d dropped on the ground as he walked past it. Juliana waited until he’d disappeared from sight, then turned her gaze up to Ashe, the air all but sizzling with the violent emotions arcing between them.

She still had her hands fisted in the front of his sweater, her breaths coming in a hard, angry rush that was identical to his. He started stalking forward, backing her into the same tree that Josh had crashed against after that powerful punch.

“Are you screwing him?” he demanded in an awful voice, slamming his fist into the tree’s trunk just above her shoulder and splitting the skin across his knuckles. She blinked, staring at him in astonishment as the rich scent of his blood filled her head. His face was rigid, lips parted for the ragged breaths rushing from his chest. He wasn’t just mad, he was furious. Burning with rage.

“What’s wrong with you?” she whispered, releasing her hold on his sweater.

He started to say something, then looked from the deep imprint he’d made in the tree trunk, to his clenched, bloodied fist, and back to her face. His brows drew together in a deep line over his nose, his breaths coming faster as he asked, “Are you screwing him?”

Shock hit her so hard she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or tell him to go to hell. “Are you crazy? I’ve been in prison, Ashe.”

His hands clenched at his sides as he clearly struggled to control his temper. With a low sound in his throat, he turned and paced away from her, then cut her a sharp look over his broad shoulder, his muscles straining the seams of his sweater. “Did you sleep with him before your banishment?”

Juliana crossed her arms. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no.”

His voice got lower. “Did you let him touch you tonight?”