Dead Stars (51 page)

CLEAN

[Gwen&Telma]

California URLs

Gwen
got a reprieve.

Phoebe agreed the truth could wait until after the Courage Ball, when the little Canadian girl who'd become Telma's nemesis had gone home. Phoebe said that Aleisha triggered Telma's attachment disorder, or something like that.

Hours after they aborted their plan, Gwen got a shot of clearheadedness in the tub. She'd already phoned Phoebe twice.

“Sorry Pheeb, I know I'm a broken record.”

“You call as much as you need to, Gwen. I'm here for you.”

“What I
wanted
to say was, there's another reason I'm glad we didn't tell her.”

“What's that?”

“I'm just sitting here soaking, and—I remembered how
specific
they were, the attorneys, about not revealing anything to anyone
—
”

“Telma's hardly ‘anyone,' Gwen.”

Gwen loved that Phoebe never rolled over. She wasn't contentious, she just liked to advocate all different sides of an argument. She told Gwen that was how she got “clear.”

“But I should really talk to my lawyer, shouldn't I Pheeb? I mean, before we tell her? At least sort of bring him in on what's going on, on what my
plans
are. Don't you think?”

“I kind of brought this up when you said you were getting more medical opinions. Is informing Telma what happened any of his business?”

“It could be—I think it probably is.”

“Tell me your concern.”

“There's going to be a settlement, Phoebe. That's a foregone conclusion. As soon as I can figure out what the hell to do, which may be never. But which kind of
has
to be soon, or so my lawyer—my
lawyers
, there's like
seven
of them
—
said. Or relatively. I just don't want, when they start to negotiate or whatever, I just don't want anyone saying, ‘We told you not to discuss this with anyone and now we hear your daughter's been blogging & twittering'—which is
exactly
what she
would
do, Pheeb!—and then it gets picked up by the Huffington Post, with
The New York Times
not far behind . . .
I
don't know. I think maybe their plan, the hospital's plan, their
attorneys'
, is to
seal
it, you know seal the records once we agree to a settlement—I'm going to have to set up a trust—I'm sure that's probably what they would
want
, to seal the
record
so the hospital doesn't look bad. I just don't want to fuck that up, for Telma, I've already fucked so many
other
things up———
Jesus,
Phoebe, you know I'm just thinking, I think I might have even
signed
something, something
binding
to that effect.”

“Ah. OK, right. Now I see.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, & it's very smart. Talk to him. Talk to your lawyer.”

“I will, in the morning. But how am I going to
ever
tell her?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can't
order
Telma not to talk about it. I can't say, OK honey, the doctors made this mistake but you can
never discuss it
with
anyone
,
ever—
”

“You won't have to say that. Gwen, St. Ambrose can't put a gag order on Telma. They'll never be able to suppress the truth of what happened anyway, not with the internet, and that's something they're going to need to come to terms with. That's what your lawyers are for—that's something to be negotiated. That if and when it
does
come out, there won't be any penalties. At the same time, I think your daughter is eminently capable of coming to certain understandings. I think she'll have no trouble seeing who needs to know what, & how much. Telma's still very much a kid, but in other ways she's very much a young lady.”

“OK.”

“I'm glad we had this discussion, because I think I probably did you a bit of a disservice. I might have leapt before I looked.”

“
You
didn't do anything, Phoebe . . .”

“Not true, I got
emotional
. I wasn't coming from a very grounded place, which is what you—what
both
of you really need right now.”

“Phoebe, I know how hard it—you love her
so much—
”

“I can't let that cloud my judgment, Gwen.”

“I think you're being a little hard on yourself.”

“
As I should.
Look, it happens. I know that. It just hasn't happened to
me.
Therapists are people too, that's why therapists have therapists. We're fallible. And because I have a very special relationship with your daughter—”

“She calls you Mama Bear #2, did you know that?”

“—we've been through the fire, all of us together. Which means I need to be
extra
careful,
extra
aware, I really do. To not let my feelings intrude. But that's no excuse, that doesn't excuse me being sloppy. I need to take a look at my codependency. Do some work. And I just need to call that out.”

“Thank you. I love you, Phoebe.”

“Would you like me to be on the phone when you talk to your attorney?”

. . .

im 12. and im a 32A. now all the guys like me but they are always like wow ur flat. im like ohk? so is there a push up bra for a 32A and where can i get them for not too expensive??? please girls.

1 year ago

 

Telma was multitasking: watching TV
,
shopping online, and writing a letter all at the same time.

She was looking at sites that sold pushup bras. She talked to her mom about getting one a few months ago but they never did. She was visiting a Y! Answers forum.

 

Okay listen you 12 years old and apparently flat chested. If the guys like you then you shouldn't worry. If you got a push up bra to moderatly please the guys you are also building up a rep as a guchi mama to the girls. Wait they will grow trust me.

4 months ago

 

if the boys like you already thats great you must be so beautiful, but if theyre disapointed that you are flat chested thats just too bad for them because the only reason people like big boobs is so they can take your bra off and do all sorts of things with and to them BUT if you use a push up bra the boys will be even more disapointed when you take off your bra cause they will be expecting you to have a nice pair of boobies but if you wear a normal bra atleast you know your boobs are real and you can even tell guys that if you want cause its the thruth and theyll like you more for your real boobs ;) plus trust me its only a matter of time before those A's turn into C's unless small boobs run in the family

8 months ago

 

She thought she might have erased
The Nine Lives of Chloe King
. She watched a little of
The
Vampire Diaries
then tried finding
New Girl,
which was actually supposed to be on
right now
but it wasn't, so she watched one of those teen mom shows instead. (They were having a marathon, which she thought they only did on holidays.) Telma
never
watched them, they were so
boring and annoying,
the girls were all brats who held their babies like props when they weren't crying or hitting someone in the head (their BFs, BFFs, moms or grandmas) & the boys were big dumb liars, like,
seriously
retarded. Telma felt sorry for the babies because they were going to grow up to be just like their scary parents, with no idea about how to live or how to help people or how to anything except cry and hit people and take drugs and steal money from your girlfriend's granny so you could buy a pickup you were going to total anyway.

The teen mom show commercials were
really
weird. Like one for birth control that looked like it was a
hearing aid
you stuck inside.
OMG disgusting, I will NEVER!
At the end, a woman listed all the side effects and different ways the birth control thingie could be dangerous. They said don't use it if you had “certain cancers” and Telma thought that probably meant ovarian not breast
.
The birth control ad was
totally normal
compared to the ones that came on for “Wild Partyline” & “Livelink” which were
TOTALLY DISGUSTING.
OMG!!!!! She paused the TV and went right to the Livelinks Facebook page. It was a full-on dating site but maybe one where you only talked to people on the phone? “Immediate & exciting! Meet someone
tonight.
” So gross! But Wild Partyline was
sooooooooooo
completely gross and disgusting. Telma googled the URL & clicked on it: CONNECT WITH 100'S OF
HORNY EBONY BABES
&
SEXY LATINAS
NOW!
O. My. God.
“SWEET PHONE SEX WITH A HORNY OLDER SLUT” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . no! no!
nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

———Telma could understand why the show would have a birth control commercial because lots of teenaged and younger girls watched the teen moms . . . but why were the
other
ads there?????????

OMG

—————the TV people who paid for the teen mom shows must know that
DIRTY OLD MEN ARE WATCHING
??????!!!!!

Ewwwwwwwww!

Im gonna B A R F ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

She turned it off and reread her letter.

It was in cursive, like the one she'd written to Michael. She wanted to stand out, not just be one more of a million emails. In some places she copied from the Michael letter verbatim. She made the decision to continue to refer to herself as the world's “youngest Kansurvivor,” as technically, Aleisha hadn't been alive long enough after her surgery to earn that “sobriquet.”

 

Kris Jenner

Life & Style Magazine

Ask Kris:

THE KARDASHIANS' MOM SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS

[email protected]

 

Dear Kris,

 

My name is Telma Belle Peony Ballendyne. (Belle is my grandma's name & Peony is my mom's favorite flower and mine too!) I am 13 years old and a
Kansurvivor
. I became a
HERO
(not
victim
) of this terrible disease at the age of
9 years old
and have been
Kancer-free for 4 years now
, making me the
youngest Kansurvivor in America and maybe the world
! The doctors decided that it was necessary to perform a double mastectomy, for which I am also Guiness World Record Book-bound. There is a LOT more of my story which I will not BORE you with (at this time!;D).

 

(As you can see, I LOVE LOVE LOVE “K”'s!!!!! Almost as much as the Kardashians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

 

I had a mastectomy & was lucky not to need a course of chemo or radiation. The doctors say there is “NO REASON” why I could not one day concieve of a child—which I very much would, & a DAUGHTER & hopefully MORE daughters, so that one day I may start a Dynasty of my own like you and Bruce!!!!

 

I am not a fan of very thin, annorexic girls & actresses. I think it is for some people a VERY REAL SICKNESS, & they need all the help they can get. YOUR DAUGHTER Kim & ALL of your DAUGHTER'S are so beautiful & unself-concsious about their beautiful womanly bodies. I know they are like that because of what how carefully you taught to them, & the SHINING EXAMPLE that you set, which is SO laudable!! I read the Glamour.com interview where Kim said she had a C-cup when she was even YOUNGER than me & used to sit in the bathtub with hot towels over her boobies, praying they did not grow. (I sit & pray that mine WILL!!! though alas it is impossibel until the days of medical miracles which may not be for 100 yrs. But maybe APPLE will come up with the iPADDED BRA!! ;D) What was so very lovely & beautiful, Kris, was when Kimberly said that you SAT WITH HER & told her how much she would love her VERY big boobies one day, you said Armenians are curvy, you said, “This is who you are.” & Kim said that was what gave her the confidence to be who she was!!!!

 

I am writing to you to ask your guidance in finding a plastic surgeon so that when I am of the proper age, I too may have a FULL WOMANLY CHEST, & comely & au-natural-looking like your daughters. I know that your daughters's many chests are REAL. But the reason I am asking is that I know that you only assosciate with the VERY BEST in whatever field they may toil, & THAT is why I feel confident in asking you this. I like my other features very much & do not anticipate having any face work done until I am very old (my 40s). So all that I am asking is for a recommendation or referral (perhaps it would be best if you could make an introductory call?) for the VERY BEST NEW BREAST DOCTOR or even
doctors
, so I can meet him or the whole Team, & we can all get to know each other. That way, when my time comes, he won't be operating on a stranger. I have many doctor friends & get along with them very well. They are real friends, not pretend friends. They are “Telma's Warriors.”

 

I am not worrying about my flat chest (which is also somewhat scarred by the skin grafting but is not as bad as that sounds)—I am not worrying very much NOW because there are no men in my life but one day if a boy finds my person-ality to be attractive to him, & I like him back in the same way, I would enjoying being in the position to be a NORMAL girl. (My dream is to look like ALL YOUR DAUGHTERS above the WAIST!!!!) I would like to be able to wear a swimsuit on the beach in the summer too without attracting too many stairs. Do you think you could help me?

 

Thank you, KRIS! I could not ask my mother because she has been a little sad of late, & its not that I do not trust her or have faith in her decisions & taste (which I do to the 1000%!!!!), but I know the KARDASHIAN KLAN is “in the know” & that you would recommend to me a doctor with whom you would trust to work on your very own children, if they were in the position I am, which THANK GOD they are NOT! And THAT is why I decided to “
ASK KRIS
”!!!!