To Jules's surprise, Tersch sounded worried. “What's wrong? I thought you liked Olivia.”
“I do.”
“If I'm right about this, Fallon won't suffer from the mating heat anymore. I don't know about you, but holding it back has been taking its toll.” Tersch nodded. “I didn't want to admit it. Hayashi seems okay.”
“He's not. He's been having some bad dreams.”
“That why he's not here today?” Jules looked at him, and Tersch colored. “Oh come on. I know chicks aren't his thing. But he'd be here for Fallon if needed.”
“I know. But he wasn't needed. Olivia submitted to me. She now knows her place.” Tersch frowned. “So why was I there?”
Jules had him by the throat in seconds. He ignored the Viking's gasp. “So
you
know your place. Olivia belongs to Fallon. You play with her when he says so. Not on your own,” Jules growled to make certain Tersch understood the warning. The large male had a problem with anger, which occasionally led to problems with authority. With a squad as small as theirs, Jules's leadership stood out, but the remaining three members played on an equal field. Sometimes Tersch forgot that fact and tried to take over.
“Shit, Jules. I get it,” he rasped. “Can I have my throat back?” Jules let him go. “Just think. If Sharpe did this, she might be able to find women for the rest of us.”
“Except for Hayashi,” Tersch grumbled.
Jules narrowed in on the anxiety he could see around the large Circ. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing. Just don't expect me to be thankful for trouble I don't need. I don't want a mate.
I'm happy with the way things are.”
“You like being fucked up the ass?” Jules asked drily.
Tersch flushed. “Hell, most of the time, I'm the one doing the fucking. You're the only one who demands I bend over for you.”
“So maybe you and Kisho—”
“Fuck you.” Tersch scowled.
Jules grinned. “I didn't think so. But sex with normal women doesn't scratch the itch, my friend. You need more. And the mating heat won't get any better. The other Circs thought it might help finding females. But you've seen how jealous they get about sharing their mates. Hell, you saw how Fallon challenged me for the woman. Olivia's bound to him and him alone.” He couldn't help feeling glad for Fallon, but a part of him hungered for a mate to call his own.
“Maybe. Even in the old days, Fallon had a thing for threesomes.” Tersch's sly grin returned, and Jules's unease vanished. “I have a feeling his Olivia may just be into some kink.
Woman liked me inside her while homeboy rode her. I'll give them some time, then try again later.”
He left and disappeared into his own room.
Jules stood naked in the hallway, knowing he needed to talk to Mrs. Sharpe again. The woman could deny it all she wanted, but his gut told him Fallon had her to thank for Olivia. The question then remained: What would Olivia say when she understood her new place in their Circ-ordered world? And how could they risk a precious female on a mission that had the potential to go so very, very wrong?
Four days later
Olivia stared out at the blue sky from beneath the brim of her straw hat. The yellow bikini she wore had more material than that which most of the women wore as they lay scattered around the hotel pool overlooking the ocean. The resort had to be hell on the government's budget, but far be it from her to complain. While she sipped a rum cocktail from a decorative coconut, she basked in the sun. Or at least she tried to.
“Don't move an inch from Hayashi, you got me?” Jesse leaned down to take the drink from her and kissed her full on the mouth. Just as high-handed as he'd been for the last few days.
Much as she wanted to ignore him in hopes he'd go away, her body betrayed her. She reached up and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He wanted her. His mind and body throbbed with need, and it took Hayashi next to her, clearing his throat, to remind her they were in public.
Jesse pulled away and shoved her drink back into her hand. “That's right, Olivia. You're
mine
. Don't let any of the other dickheads around here forget it.” He had the nerve to scowl at Hayashi, then practically growled at a pair of men watching on her left and stalked away.
To her chagrin, the men who'd been looking at her quickly departed the area.
So much for a blissful interlude before they had to meet with their contact tomorrow.
Hayashi chuckled. “Relax, Olivia. If you think about it, Fallon's jealousy works to our advantage. Who would think we're here for another reason when your bull of a boyfriend is making such a scene?”
“Yeah, right.” She fanned herself, still hungering for the mate—
man
, she told herself—she couldn't get out of her head. “Good cover, sure.” She promised herself then and there to make the most of her poolside visit. Who knew how much longer she'd have to linger, pretending she had nothing at all but tan lines to worry about?
The mission aside, Jesse now seemed to think she belonged to him, like a pet or a thing. As if a woman could be something to
own
. Gunnar and Jules were just as bad with their comments and expectations. As if she should roll over and beg for Jesse's permission to leave the house, talk to her family, or go to the movies. And Jules seemed to consider himself lord of all. She frowned. Lately the only member of the Circ team she could tolerate for any length of time lay next to her in his own chair.
“Kisho, I still don't understand.”
They sat close enough to talk without being overheard by others, grouped in private around the pool.
“What's that?” he asked, his husky voice mirroring the tiredness weighing him down.
Concerned, she'd tried to convince him to confide in her, but he refused to admit anything was wrong. So she'd try another angle and maybe get some information in the process.
“How can anyone think I'm a you-know-what?” A Circ.
He sighed. “It's not a matter of thinking but knowing. We have a certain scent, a feel about us. Haven't you experienced it? Jesse's is a lot like mint. Mine's cinnamon, Tersch's is cedar.
Jules's comes and goes, but he's normally pretty vanilla, which is ironic, considering what he's into.”
He didn't grin, but she sensed his amusement.
“But I'm not. I'd know it, wouldn't I?” But hadn't she listened to an inner wildness lately?
Since meeting Jesse and the others, her thoughts had seemed more primitive, basic yet incredibly complex.
Kisho shrugged. His suit sat low on his hips, and his skin retained a healthy glow that attracted more than his share of admirers, though he didn't seem to notice. “I know how I became what I am. All of us voluntarily underwent the experimental treatment, though I can assure you, we had no idea we'd turn out the way we did.” He sat up and leaned closer to her, his presence both assuring and disturbing.
Not Kisho. Jesse. I want Jesse, something growled deep inside her.
He eyed her knowingly. “You get used to it. I like to think of my inner beast as my id, that part of me that knows instinctively what's best for me. You have yet to see the truth behind the myth, Olivia. It's not just a mental transformation but a physical one.” She swallowed. “I saw the fangs, the claws. I think Jesse's skin turns darker too.”
“There's more. I thought Jesse should show you before we left, but Jules wants you to get used to your place—ah, to try to get used to us first. All these changes at once can be overwhelming.”
Her place. Every time she heard that phrase, she wanted to hit someone.
I haven't worked
my ass off my entire life to be subservient to some man
. “But I'm not one of you. I don't belong.”
As much as I might want to. If Jesse would listen to me instead of demanding I accept things, we
might come to an understanding.
He now seemed to think they were an item. Sure, the hot sex meant more to her than just a physical pleasure, but come on. She barely knew him. One whole week of mission talk and some kinky sex and he was spouting about forever? Every time she heard the
f
word she panicked, because instinct kept telling her she'd never shake free of him. That she shouldn't want to.
She'd been around enough Mr. Wrongs to be cautious. She'd earned that right. Now maybe if Jesse lightened up and acted like a gentleman instead of an autocratic Neanderthal, they might continue a relationship when this was over.
Mine, always mine.
She shifted in the lounge chair, aware her skin didn't feel too hot, despite the intense sun.
Coconut-scented lotion brought her attention to the bottle beside her.
“I didn't miss any spots, did I?” she asked.
Kisho rolled his eyes. “No. But if you want me to do your back again so you can flip over, I will.”
Not a hint of lust in his voice.
“Why don't you have a boyfriend, Kisho?”
He stilled. “What do you mean?”
“You're handsome, sexy, intelligent, and sensitive. Is it because you're Circ?” she whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear the
c
word.
He inwardly seethed with discomfort, and she placed a hand on his arm, wishing him calm.
To her surprise, he relaxed.
“How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“You pulled my anxiety.” Calm surprise. “I don't like to talk about my personal life, and you sensed it. Then I suddenly felt at ease.”
“I don't know.”
He stared at her. “You still can't feel Fallon, though, can you?”
“Sometimes.”
Like when he wants to fuck me, but rarely about anything meaningful
. “He's been sending me thoughts.” Or at least he had been before she'd told him to butt out of her mind.
He hadn't liked that, and he let her know in no uncertain terms. “You still didn't answer my question.”
Kisho turned his head and closed his eyes. “I keep my personal life private.”
“The guys don't care. They hold you in deepest respect. And I think Gunnar actually likes you.”
His lips quirked. “He pretends not to like anyone. He's a big fake. Haven't you seen him watching Ava?”
“Yes, actually.” And maybe the woman watched him back, which would explain why she'd become so cold to Olivia the past few days. Olivia blushed, wondering how the hell Ava could know what they'd done that one night. “My point, which you keep avoiding, is that no one on the team would care. I mean, considering what you all do anyway, how could they?”
“They engage in homosexuality because they have to. It's programmed.”
“But that's the way it is anyway, isn't it?”
He turned to her, surprised. “Ah, I'm not sure.”
His uncertainty softened her, making her like him even more. Kisho Hayashi had the soul of a poet, Ava had said, and she was right. He listened, never offered advice unless asked, and contained his emotions behind a wall of control. But she could feel the loneliness inside him, and it bothered her.
He continued. “But I do know we can only find peace with others like us. Without a mate, we experience severe sexual hungers. Often in the past the hungers worsened into mental instability. No one is actually sure why, but it seems that finding someone to alleviate the need to procreate actually eases the mental burdens that have turned so many of us rogue.”
“What's a rogue?” She's heard Jules use the term while talking to Jesse, but as soon as he'd seen her approach, he'd clammed up.
“I told them we should tell you everything, but no one listens to me.” Kisho frowned and turned on his side to face her. “When we were first made, the first batch had problems. You remember the indictments on General Kohl and Senator Kuntz?” She nodded. “Supposedly they covered up a string of murders associated with an experimental program—Project Dawn.”
“Right. The press had a field day with tales of super soldiers and science gone screwy, but they were mostly right.”
Olivia smacked the arm of her lounge chair. “I knew it. The whole story was too bizarre to be fictional. Of course, now after meeting you guys, it makes more sense.”
“You don't know the half of it. My team spent a year in an underground laboratory headed by an evil genius. A real mad scientist.” Kisho frowned. “A lot of good men died there, less than human when they went.” He shook off the memory. “None of that made the papers. Claws and fangs are the tip of the iceberg.”
Her mouth dried. “Why are you telling me this?” The thought of her possibly going through such a transformation scared her to death. Olivia prized control. She chose what jobs she worked. She dated who she wanted, when she wanted. Even when the men she saw turned out to be less than ideal,
she
broke off the relationships and moved on.
Becoming Circ would change all that. Jesse claimed mating heats forced them into sexual orgies, or they'd go insane. God, Olivia wasn't an orgy woman! Though she'd fantasized a time or two, she'd never thought to engage in a ménage. And then she'd slept with not only Jesse, but Jules and Gunnar too.
But instead of the dismay she should have felt about their night together, she rumbled deep in her chest, a subtle murmur of satisfaction. A part of Olivia felt she deserved such treatment, an odd form of respect from worthy males, and most especially, from her mate.
“It's real, and it's perfectly normal, Olivia,” Kisho said quietly. “We purr when we're happy. We roar when we're mad. We feel deeply, and we instinctively know what we need. I'm telling you about our physical changes so that when they happen and you see them, you won't be scared. The vision I saw of you in the jungle? It hasn't gone away.” She swallowed. “But I'll be with Jesse and Jules, right?” He paused. “Right.”
“But you think I'll freak. Because they'll turn into that physical wildness I haven't seen yet,” she said slowly, understanding what he hadn't said.
“Yes.”
“But it's still Jesse. He's always aware of himself, right?”
“For the most part.”
Olivia sighed. Bad enough he'd become a cute but annoying bully. “Terrific.”
“There's just one other thing, Olivia.”
She didn't want to know. “What?”
“In the jungle, you're wearing that same bathing suit. And the guys who put you there are standing right behind us.”