Darkwood (9 page)

‘You are right, Gareth, but I need to freshen up and do something with my hair,’ I said to him and once again he rang the bell. On this occasion Mrs Trigg answered it.

‘Yes, sir,’ she said with a hint of dissatisfaction.

‘Please bring Miss Silvia a jug of hot water and a face cloth.’

Mrs Trigg returned once more with Dotty who carried a jug of water which she tipped slowly into a china washbowl on a stand near the door.

‘Dinner is ready, sir,’ Mrs Trigg addressed Gareth as she spoke, ‘What shall I tell your mother?’

‘I shall come down and speak to her myself. Now that will be all, I thank both of you.’ No sooner had Gareth spoken than the housekeeper and Dotty left the room.

‘I cannot go down to dinner Gareth, for I could not eat a thing, this has upset me so much.’ My voice was almost a whisper as I held the warm face cloth to my burning cheeks and eyes.

‘Don’t fret, I will go down to Mother and explain that you are feeling unwell, and that we will see her and Father in the drawing-room afterwards if you are able. I will fetch you a towel,’ he said thoughtfully. When he handed it to me some seconds later he asked, ‘Shall I send Pru to you to tidy your beautiful hair?’

‘Yes please Gareth, you are so kind, however could I have thought...’ My voice trailed off, not wishing to tell him that I’d misconstrued his motive for marrying me. Another sob escaped my lips at the thought of it.

‘Silvia, calm yourself.’ As he spoke he laid his hands gently on my shoulders and planted a kiss on my cheek.

‘Pru will need my hairbrush,’ I said suddenly thinking logically. ‘Maybe I should go back to my room.’

‘No,’ Gareth said emphatically. ‘I wish you to stay here where I can keep an eye on you. I shan’t be gone long, I promise.’ As he left I felt bereft without his calming presence and wished with all my heart I could return to yesterday.

Pru arrived with a hairbrush not long after Gareth left, she’d also brought with her a powder puff. I sat at the dressing table on a soft brocade chair and looked at my reflection in the mirror while Pru brushed and re-arranged my hair.

‘It’s not for me to ask what troubles you, Miss Silvia, but what I do know is that the young gentlemen who is to be your husband is most concerned about you and that’s a fact.’ As she spoke Pru skilfully rearranged the snood and then set to dabbing my cheeks with the powder puff. When she’d finished I certainly looked better and somehow older and wiser for the experience of the past days. I wished so much to put right my relationship with Gareth, but knew that it would have to wait until other issues had been resolved.

An hour later, Gareth and I entered the drawing-room together, Aunt Rachel and Uncle William were on the settle together by the fire.

‘What is amiss?’ Aunt Rachel asked anxiously. As I looked at her I thought how much like her mother she looked, a fact I’d not noticed before. Aunt Rachel got up and walked towards me placing a protective arm around my shoulder and seated me on the matching settle opposite. Uncle William was by the fire. Although warm, the cold blue walls chilled me and I shuddered.

Gareth took a seat next to me. ‘Where did you find that reticule?’ Aunt Rachel exclaimed as she seated herself once more. ‘I do believe it belonged to my mother.’ As she spoke I could feel the tears pricking my eyes once more, my throat burned and I could not speak, but Gareth answered his mother.

‘You are right, Mother, it is indeed Lizzie’s lace bag. Silvia found it in the wardrobe the day of her arrival at Darkwood, but until today had not picked it up.’ Gareth continued while my aunt looked at him as if spellbound. ‘The cause of Silvia’s distress is a letter she found in the bag, which has been written by your mother and reveals to us secrets which we had not known until now.’

Saying this Gareth took the bag gently from me, unclasped it and handed Lizzie’s letter to Aunt Rachel. The room was silent except for the occasional crackling of a log on the fire as she read it, she then folded the letter and passed it back to Gareth.

‘It is true, my children.’ Aunt Rachel spoke in a hushed voice. ‘Your grandmother did take the laudanum on that very day in the wood, your grandfather found her a couple of hours later lying under a tree among the bluebells. He never forgave her as she so rightly says, for escaping him that way, her lifeless body was carried back to the house by Douglas who was younger then.’ Aunt Rachel looked in some kind of trance as she continued. ‘The lovely fur-trimmed green cloak she wore was removed and banished to the attic.’

‘I saw it,’ I interrupted, ‘On the top of her clothes in a chest in the attic.’ The thought of it causing tears to swim before my eyes.

‘My father was adamant she would not be buried in the churchyard, but outside the boundary wall with no headstone to mark this beautiful lady’s final resting place. But I have tended her grave all these years.’ She stopped, her emotion overcoming her.

‘And what of Jared who I have always thought of as my brother?’ Gareth’s questioning voice cut the silence.

‘He is indeed my half-brother, Samuel’s son. He so wanted a son and asked me to bring him up as my own so he could live at Darkwood. Jared turned out to be as cruel as his father and had no love for Samuel, so Jared was disowned from an early age.’ Again my aunt stopped, obviously reliving the past which Lizzie’s letter had brought to her mind.

‘And where is Jared now?’ My voice was strong once more, ‘He needs to be told the truth of his parentage,’ I insisted.

‘We’ve not seen Jared since your banns of marriage were called on Sunday.’ Uncle William spoke for the first time. I had quite forgotten he was there opposite me.

‘And will you tell him, Aunt Rachel, when he reappears?’ I asked quietly.

‘Yes, I will, for as I say he needs to know the truth for many reasons,’ she agreed.

‘And my grandmother’s portrait? Do you know who disfigured the likeness of her lovely face with such hatred?’ I asked, keen to have all the mysteries surrounding Lizzie solved.

‘I can answer that,’ offered Uncle William. ‘Your aunt does not know this for I spared her any more unhappiness. It was Samuel, I saw him as I walked along the corridor repeatedly slash at her face with inane fury. It was I who took the portrait down and with Douglas’ help placed it in the attic so Rachel would not see it.’

Uncle William paused and then continued, ‘Samuel then had his portrait painted in defiance of Lizzie’s death, by a tree in Darklady’s Wood, and he hung it deliberately at the top of the stairs where his wife’s portrait had been.’

‘Is there anything else you have to tell us?’ Gareth spoke quietly looking from his father to his mother as he spoke.

‘For my part at least,’ said Uncle William leaning forward in his seat, ‘The only thing I know is that Samuel instructed that the walls of the drawing-room and dining-room be painted the colour of the bluebells so no-one would forget what Lizzie did to him. His anger was so fierce he never forgave her.’

‘And you, Mother? Have you any further revelations we should know about?’ As Gareth spoke my aunt looked at both of us deliberating whether she should tell us more.’

‘Estelle.’ She spoke the name and it had hung in the air between us, almost tangible, and the sound of her name being spoken conjured up to me the sound of Estelle’s beautiful melodic voice and laugh which I’d heard and loathed on the evening of my arrival at Darkwood.

‘What of Estelle, for I already know that she is unsound of mind,’ said Gareth as if breaking a spell which had been cast on us all.

‘She is Samuel’s illegitimate child too,’ said Aunt Rachel, wiping a tear from her eye with the back of her hand. ‘Such a beautiful child but her mother was deranged and died not long ago in a mental institution. I very much fear that Estelle will follow in her footsteps.’

At this point Aunt Rachel did cry. What secrets she had carried these past years and how difficult it must have been for her, and I knew now why she strived so hard to keep Estelle apart from Jared and Gareth, for she was Jared’s half-sister and Gareth’s aunt.

Gareth and I left my aunt and uncle to spend much needed moments together. As we were leaving the room, Aunt Rachel looked up and said, ‘I will show you both Lizzie’s grave tomorrow.’ We both nodded in agreement.

Gareth walked me back to my room dropping a kiss on my brow as he left me saying he would join me for breakfast. ‘Sleep well dear heart,’ he said.

As I climbed wearily into bed that night thoughts of Lizzie whirled in my head, but I was thankful the mystery was solved. Uppermost in my mind was the thought that I needed to tell Gareth the secret of my heart which was that I loved him so very much. With that thought, I drifted into a restless sleep, my dreams were of beautiful Estelle and I knew she would forever haunt me.

10

‘You look so dark under the eyes, Miss,’ said Pru the next day, ‘And your eyelids are all puffed up.’

‘Do I really look that bad?’ I questioned with some dismay going across to have a look in the mirror. Looking closely I could see what she meant, but under the circumstances I could have looked far worse.

‘I agree with you Pru, but nothing can be done about it,’ I said with some resignation.

‘What will you wear today?’ Pru asked, and I went over to the window to see if there were blue or grey skies today. Pulling back the pink curtains I could see it was a glorious day, the sun shone in a cloudless blue sky and as far as I could tell there was hardly any breeze. I knew we were going to the graveyard today and recalled how cold it had been on the first day we had come to Darkwood.

As I looked from the window I could see primroses growing in the flower border and I thought to pick a bunch to lay on Lizzie’s grave. Thinking of it I felt my throat ache and quickly went to the wardrobe to choose what I would wear. As I looked through my array of gowns I touched on my wedding gown, which caused me to think how I should have been marrying Gareth in two days’ time.

I thought back to the day that Gareth had first seen me here in this very room. The memory helped me decide what to wear and I lifted out the pale blue dress I’d been wearing on my arrival that day. I then lifted down the blue bonnet which matched the gown, and handed it to Pru.

‘I know why you’ve picked this, Miss,’ she said, helping me into the silk dress, Tut it’s not my place to make a comment and that’s a fact.’

‘You are right in your assumption, Pru, and I am quite happy for you to say whatever is on your mind,’ and added, Tor today at least.’

‘Well Miss, if that’s the case I’d just like to say I hope you and the young gentleman can put things right and very soon,’ Pru bravely answered.

‘And so do I, Pru,’ I acknowledged adjusting the skirt of the dress and flattening the lace collar. ‘I’ll wear my cameo brooch today for Grandmother gave it to me when I admired it as a child.’ At the words I had another fleeting thought about the events of yesterday and tried to dismiss it from my mind or I would start weeping again.

After Pru had arranged my hair, I went down to breakfast, for the first time Uncle William, Aunt Rachel and Gareth were sitting at the table, they all looked at me as I entered the room. I took a seat which Gareth held for me, quite the gentleman I thought. However could I have doubted his intentions, I so desperately needed to talk to him but needed to wait until we had visited the graveyard.

Little was said at the breakfast table other than Aunt Rachel asking, ‘How are you today, Silvia?’

‘I feel a little better thank you, Aunt,’ I responded quietly. It was true in as much as I wasn’t spilling tears everywhere, but inside I felt as if I had a huge knot in my stomach.

I’d fetched my bonnet and Pru had laid the cream shawl around my shoulders. ‘Just in case you feel cold,’ she had explained. The shawl caused me to think of Gareth and the bluebell wood. More unpleasant thoughts and question came into my head. Where is Jared?

We stepped into the April sunshine and I could see a very handsome landau with the roof folded back had been brought to the front of the house. Aunt Rachel and Uncle William seated themselves inside and Gareth indicated for me to do the same.

‘One moment, Gareth please, I wish to pick some flowers for our grand-mother,’ I explained.

‘I’ll come with you,’ he said, following me to the flower border. The primroses were turning their pretty yellow heads to the sun and I felt almost cruel as I picked about twenty and arranged them in a small bunch which I asked Gareth to hold while I tied them with some pink ribbon I had found in my work basket.

‘Silvia,’ Gareth caught my arm gently as I was about to walk back to the carriage, his deep brown eyes looked at me appealingly, ‘when we return to the house I need to speak with you alone,’ he confessed.

‘We are of the same mind, cousin,’ I said with some relief, for he had saved me from broaching the subject myself which could have appeared quite unladylike.

Comfortably sitting in the carriage next to Gareth for all of our journey, I could see Culmoor Church perched on top of the hillock. My thoughts were in disarray, Lizzie, Gareth, Jared, Estelle and my wedding gown were all jumbled up in my head, and as hard as I tried I could not separate one from the other. We stopped near the graveyard as in that first day and my thought was that I had come around in a full circle in just over three weeks. The difference being that today instead of an icy wind a cool breeze blew pleasantly across my face.

Gareth by my side, we entered the graveyard following Aunt Rachel, with me clutching the posy I had picked for Lizzie. We walked among the grave-stones to the far side and I could see Aunt Rachel unlatch a gate in the corner which I hadn’t realised was there. We followed her through it and she led us behind the wall where halfway along I could see a mound of earth.

Thankfully the sun shone through the trees on to the grave which made me feel a little more at ease. I loathed to think of my grandmother lying in the cold earth away from the sunlight.

Gareth gently squeezed my arm to give me comfort. I noticed a small varnished wooden cross had been placed in the earth at one end, as I bent to look at it I could see the name, Elizabeth, had been lovingly carved into the wood with the date 1851.

I looked at Aunt Rachel. Now Grandfather is gone and has no bearing on this grave anymore we should place a small headstone here, Aunt.’ I’d made a statement which I felt very strongly about, for this lovely lady who was my grandmother, had taken her life because of a grandfather who caused her nothing but pain.

‘I agree with Silvia,’ Gareth spoke up. ‘The wooden cross is admirable but not enough.’

‘We will order one,’ agreed Aunt Rachel. ‘We should get back for I feel all of us have endured enough,’ she said quietly.

‘Could you please leave me here a moment?’ I asked tentatively, ‘For there is something I wish to say to Grand-mother alone.’

‘But of course, dear,’ said Aunt Rachel placing a cold hand over mine. She suddenly seemed more her normal self, perhaps bringing us here had been a trial for her, and now the deed was accomplished she felt more at ease. I stood amongst the trees, bending down I laid the posy of primroses on the sandy coloured earth.

‘I found you,’ I whispered, ‘and would never have stopped searching, I love you and Gareth also, please lead me on the right path with him and help me choose my words wisely.’ So saying I walked back to the carriage feeling a great sense of peace. Gareth was waiting to assist me as I climbed in and all the way back to Darkwood his hand lay closed over mine.

Stepping on to the path outside the house Gareth detained me while his mother and father walked on inside.

‘It is time for us now, Silvia. For there is something I want to say to you,’ Gareth’s words conveyed to me that he was as eager to say what was on his mind, as was I. We agreed to talk in the morning-room and, as we stepped through the door of this delightful room, I cast my mind back to the last time we were here together when Gareth had proposed to me and slipped the betrothal ring on my finger.

As if reading my thoughts Gareth said, ‘You are not wearing the ring today.’ As he spoke I removed my bonnet and lay it on the table by the door.

‘Only because I feared I may lose it,’ I answered as I sat in the armchair while Gareth turned his mother’s chair around to sit on.

‘Silvia, I don’t know why you said you wouldn’t marry me, but before you say anything, I’d like to explain myself if I may,’ he said questioningly.

‘Please do, Gareth, for I ardently wish to know your thoughts,’ I replied, impatience welling up inside me.

‘When our grandfather’s Will was read and I came to your room I was determined to dislike you, but at the same time determined to marry you for the sake of this house.’ He paused momentarily, standing up, arms behind his back, he started pacing the floor. ‘And then I admired you for your liking of Tennyson and Dickens, what I hadn’t expected was to fall in love with you.’

‘Oh Gareth,’ I exclaimed, ‘if only you had declared this before I cancelled our wedding, I was so sure you didn’t love me.’

‘And do you love me?’ he asked, stopping his pacing he stood before me.

‘Without hesitation I can say yes, I do love you,’ I declared.

‘And will you marry me?’ he asked, raising one dark eyebrow in question.

‘Yes Gareth, I will marry you,’ I agreed, breathing a sigh of relief that this conversation had gone well. He took my hand and pulling me to my feet drew me near to him.

‘Then let us marry on Saturday as arranged.’ The words he spoke made my heart sing and I was happy once more.

‘But the church is cancelled,’ I said with some alarm.

‘We can rebook it, the banns have been called.’ The words made me think of Estelle. Now what has distressed you, darling?’

‘It is nothing,’ I answered untruthfully.

‘I can tell by your face it is something.’ Gareth’s words showed how astute he had become at assessing my emotions. ‘Now tell me for we must have no secrets between us.’

‘It is Estelle.’ My voice faltered. ‘What will become of her, Gareth? For she is so lovely.’

‘Dear heart, Estelle is being cared for by the nuns at an Abbey not far from here, it is for the best. My mother arranged it. Now smile for me please and tell me that you are happy,’ he coaxed.

‘Now let us go and tell my father and mother,’ suggested my husband-to-be, dropping a gentle kiss on my lips, nothing felt matter of fact or unemotional now.

Uncle William and Aunt Rachel were delighted. While Gareth went to Culmoor to the vicarage with Uncle William, I stayed to talk with my aunt.

‘So Silvia, you are now ready for marriage to my son?’ she asked seriously.

‘Completely and without doubt, Aunt, for I know the union is for love. It is such a pity Mother is not here, and what of Jared?’ I asked, anxious to know what had become of him.

‘It is a shame about your mother. She left far too hastily and as for Jared, he’ll turn up one day like the prodigal son.’ This led me to believe that my aunt had experienced this problem before with the ruthless son of the ruthless Samuel.

‘Aunt Rachel,’ I said cautiously, ‘there is one thing about your mother I wish so much to know.’

‘Ask me child, for it will not distress me now,’ said my aunt.

‘Whereabouts in the wood was Lizzie found?’ The question had been burning in my mind since we had left the graveyard.

‘I can show you if it will not cause you any more pain.’ My aunt looked at me gently as she spoke.

‘I’d like that, it will lay the ghost to rest completely,’ I answered truthfully.

Aunt Rachel and I walked together in the sunshine across the bridge, stopping for some seconds to watch the river sparkling in the sun. As we neared the wood both of us looked at each other.

‘It is so beautiful Silvia, a carpet of blue, I can see why my mother loved it here.’ As she spoke we stepped on the path between the bluebells, as I followed Aunt Rachel I knew that we were following Lizzie’s last steps.

Passing the tree that Jared had pushed me against, I thought of that moment and how Gareth had stepped in to save me. We walked farther into the wood until I could see we were nearly at the other side.

Just as we were about to step into the sunshine, Aunt Rachel stopped and indicated the tree where Samuel had his portrait painted. I felt anger, anger at a man who could be so cruel as to stand where his loving wife had died and then have the audacity to hang the picture at the top of the staircase for everyone to see.

How I hated him and all he stood for and I vowed then that when I was Mistress of Darkwood in two days’ time that I would have the portrait burned and the blue walls painted in the green and pink my grandmother had loved. I would thwart him as Lizzie had, and with that thought in my mind I walked back through the bluebell wood with a strength I never had before.

* * *

The morning of my wedding day dawned and I hardly dared draw back the curtains, but when I did I could see that the sun shone for us in a cloudless sky. We were to be married at twelve o’clock. Before getting ready, Aunt Rachel asked me to go to the dining-room and on stepping inside I was astounded to see that, as if by magic, the walls had been painted a pale green overnight.

The wedding breakfast was laid, the table looked so inviting with an ivory cloth covering it on which had been laid silver knives, forks, spoons and serviette holders also pretty rose-coloured dishes and in the centre of it all was a beautifully-decorated two-tier wedding cake.

‘Aunt Rachel, thank you so much,’ I said kissing her on the cheek.

‘It is my pleasure, and here is a small gift from me to remember your wedding day by.’ As she spoke my aunt offered me a small oblong package. On removing the tissue paper I could see with delight it was a lovely hand-stitched book mark with Gareth’s name and mine in green and the date of our marriage the 15th of April 1865 in gold, underneath were the words,
God bless you both.

‘I shall treasure it,’ was all I could say, for I suddenly felt an emotion, not sad but happy and I could have twirled Aunt Rachel round the dining-room, but a sense of decorum prevented me from doing so.