Darkside Sun (11 page)

Marcus dragged her around until she stood nose to nose with him. They stared at one another for seconds until she finally winced and nodded. The Machine’s version of “uncle,” I guessed. She shot me a sympathetic gaze before trudging a few feet away, shoulders hunched. Why wasn’t she going to get Asher? Oh, right, he’d gone off with the Colonel. Shit.

“Alone at last, sort of,” Marcus said, backing me flat against the door. Like Asher, he’d made the words sound more obscene than they should have, more suited to pillow talk than casual chatter. “You are a breath of fresh air. So unlike the rest of us.”

I squirmed at his closeness, the sense of intimacy his body language implied even when he was just standing in front of me. “Yeah, and thank God for that. But for curiosity’s sake, what do you mean?”

Still grinning, he pressed his palm against the door, bringing him that tiny bit closer. “We were all similar in what we wanted before we came here, in our personalities. Dominant, greedy, lusting for power or status in one way or another. But you … you I don’t understand yet. You’re a rabbit quivering in a corner of the wolf den, yet … there’s something about you, a storm alive just under your skin. It calls to me, as if I could reach out and bring it forth.” He extended his hand toward me. For a second, I just watched, wanting him to touch me, before remembering what Sophia said about that soldier girl dying.

A mere inch from him making contact, I darted away and made for the rest of the strangers. I walked backward, sliding right by Sophia. He might have been on the adorable side of handsome, but I didn’t want him at my back. Baby tigers were cute, too, but they could still rip you to pieces.

“I think you maybe forgot your meds this morning, but thanks anyway. I’m just going back over here. Coming, Sophia?” I couldn’t believe I was stuck schmoozing with a bunch of sociopaths while Dad could be in danger. And everyone else, too. Shouldn’t everyone have been pulling wraiths out of people? Or collecting intel or some junk?

Sophia stood between us again, no less alarmed than before.

“This is the first time the pattern of recruitment has been broken,” he said, and for once, he wasn’t smiling. “There’s no hardness to you. No malice. Yet you’re no mere soldier, that’s for sure.”

“We both know I don’t belong here, like, at all.”

“That’s the big question we need to answer tonight, isn’t it?” He went back to smiling, brewing up some devious little nugget of thought I couldn’t begin to guess at. “In the sixty-some-odd years I’ve served the Machine, you are the biggest puzzle I’ve ever had the pleasure of encountering.”

Couldn’t have heard that right. “How old are you?”

“I was recruited when I was twenty.”

I squinted at him. An urge to grope his uniform had my fingers tingling. I still couldn’t wrap my head around immortality. “But you still look twenty.”

“As I always will.”

I jerked back a little as if that news flash had come with the sonic boom of a grenade. I imagined my face had that freshly-struck-by-a-hammer look pasted on it. Yep, I just needed to get away from here and have a little sleep. And maybe some meds of my own. I wanted Dad, wanted his arms around me. Even when the walls were unraveling around us, I still felt safe with him.

“You look pretty spry for an eighty-year-old, Marcus,” I said.

He roared with laughter. Even that sounded intimate. Before I’d met a sentinel, a guy had never made me blush.

“What’s so funny?” That voice. Not like Asher’s terror in the dark, or Marcus’s 1-900 tenor, but an angry vibrato that could have shaved Asher’s shadow beard off with its razor edge. I knew before looking over my shoulder it would be the ice princess. I looked. It was her all right, and she didn’t appear any less lethal close-up.

I found myself hoping harder that Asher would come back soon. Good-bye, sweet sanity, if Asher had become the lesser of the evils in the room.

Chapter 12

Sophia put herself between me and Kat. It seemed entirely wrong to let someone smaller than me act as my protector, but I didn’t want to insult her by saying so.

Marcus stood beside the ice princess. She came up to his chin, but she seemed much larger than him. I began to see what he meant about her being a guy with boobs, finding the hardness he’d mentioned in her posture and the tight lines of her body. If you didn’t look at her cold, pale eyes, the jade star barely noticeable, she was drop-dead gorgeous. The instant those eyes came into play, though, it sucked all of the pretty out of her.

“I said, what’s so funny?” Kat asked, and at first my mind couldn’t decipher what she’d said, but after a second, I figured out she was speaking with some sort of accent, maybe eastern European. “This is dangerous and a waste of our time. I find nothing funny about that.”

When I stopped shivering under her nasty voice, I said, “I didn’t ask to be here, so stop staring at me like this is my fault.”

“Shut it,” Sophia ground out. Tension turned her into a tuning fork. For what? Were we about to get into a fight? Part of me thought,
that’s kind of cool
, before I remembered they all had guns, and I probably couldn’t defend myself from an infant.

“It means,” Marcus said, “that Kat’s already afraid you’ll outrank her if the vote goes in favor of making you one of us. She’s our only female sentinel, and just barely at that.”

Oh, balls.
The stare she shot him would have melted me into the wall, and I was damn glad she pointed it at him and not me.

It didn’t shock me that was what they were voting on, but I still didn’t know what happened if they voted against it. “Look, Kat, I’ve got no designs on your rank or anything. I don’t belong here. You and your little assassin buddies are peas in a pod, and you can have them. Quite frankly, I’d be quite happy never to see any of you ever again.”

Her laughter cut through the air like shrapnel. “At least you can admit you’re nothing next to me. I’m glad we both know you’re a waste of skin.”

Anger boiled up like black tar from my boots. I might not have been brave, but I didn’t let anyone talk down to me like that. My mouth took off on its own as I came up behind Sophia, who sighed. “Look here, honey. I may not have the nerve to go against the wraiths, but I’ve been seeing reality come apart since I was six, and I’m still here without being completely mental, unlike you. I’m going to be an accountant and make my dad proud of me. And if it was up to me, I’d ship you back to Bitches ’R’ Us and demand a refund.” My air cut off when I realized I might have taken that a teensy-weensy bit too far.

Wide-eyed, Kat and Marcus both looked like they’d swallowed a spider. Others beyond them, too. You could have heard a mouse fart on the far side of the room, it was so quiet.

Asher moved into my line of sight just beyond Marcus. I wasn’t sure when he’d come back, but his “you idiot” face let me know he’d heard what I said and didn’t like it. “I guess the cat is well and thoroughly out of the bag,” he said.

Marcus turned to him. “Is it true? She can see the rifts?”

Asher grinned with … what was that, pride? Or just his usual smug mask? “And the wraiths, too, apparently. She described one in detail that I’ll add to the bible.”

Oh, that’s what they were upset about? I figured I’d insulted Kat so badly I wouldn’t be invited back to the psycho club. I’d rather that have been what dropped the silent bomb on the room than my rank on the weirdness scale.

Asher raised his voice. “I think you all understand why I’ve kept this one to myself until I was sure of her potential. We encountered third-caste wraiths early this morning. They identified her as a guardian on sight, so she’s on their radar now. They’ll try to get her before we can initiate her. I’m sure you feel them out there even now, testing weaknesses in the veil where they might come through. She’s more dangerous on her own than within the protection and service of the Machine.”

“No,” Kat said. “She said it herself, she doesn’t belong here. Look at her. She’s going to be an accountant.” Curling up her lip, she mocked me, adding, “Daddy’s special little girl. The Machine would eat hear alive. I vote we wipe her and send her back to Daddy.”

“You mean take my memory of all this?” I blurted. “Then I vote for that, too.”

Asher rolled his neck before slicing me with his glare. “You don’t get a vote. Not only would you forget, but we’d have to suppress your growing power, which with you, I think, would be impossible. Now shut up.”

The Colonel resumed his place standing on the edge of the hearth. A preacher on his soap box. “Sentinels, we are strong, but we are few. Upon seeing her, I was ready to discount her as you were. She is … weak, skittish, and unusual. But if all Asher tells me is truth, then we must consider initiating her.”

“Vote all you like,” I said, “but I’m going home one way or the other. This is a free country. You can’t keep me here if I don’t want to stay.” My stomach clenched hard. Some part of me recognized the naiveté of what I’d just said. If they wanted to keep me in the Shift, they could do whatever they wanted to me for however long, and nobody would be able to find me. It wasn’t like I could call the cops, and even if I could, roads didn’t reach here. A few curses rattled through my head.

Asher and Remy raised their hands. Apparently the voting had begun. Jesus, they could really vote me in. But what did that mean, to be initiated? I had a sudden image of frosh-week hazing, bent over while the sentinels all whacked me with a paddle. I laughed, a sharp, frantic sound that shredded my sanity a little more. I could have sworn Asher rolled his eyes. Marcus’s smile changed from the Cheshire cat to genuinely amused.

“I think I’m with Kat on this one, Ash,” Marcus said, and he sounded sad about that. “She doesn’t have the backbone for this. No amount of training is going to take the rabbit out of her. She’d end up eaten by a wraith before she’d ever pull the trigger.”

“Yeah,” I said, “what he said. Just make me forget, and I’ll go.”

“That’s two for and eight against,” the Colonel said. “Is that the final vote? Remember, our founder does not make mistakes. He has granted her abilities none of us possess. Will you really let your prejudices take away what could be the most useful tool we’ve been given yet?” He spoke like a man from another time, an older time, but like Kat, his accent had begun to fade. How old was he? He waited for the mumbling to die down before continuing. “The Machine is failing. Might this new cog be the one who makes us function again?”

He’d said two of eight, which meant only the sentinels got to vote and probably the Colonel as the tie breaker. I wasn’t sure if that was better or worse. If I’d have been a soldier, I might have taken exception to being excluded from deciding whether or not to add a new member to my club.

Two more sentinels put their hands up. If another two piped up, that would be bad.

I wanted the Colonel to shut up. I wanted to rush across the room and punch him in the kisser so he’d stop talking, but Marcus was right. I was a rabbit, and the wolves scared the hell out of me. My mouth stayed shut.

Kyle Whatshisname stared at me through the crowd in a soldier uniform, his red hair cut short. I hadn’t noticed him until then. Already he appeared like an animal in a too-small cage, his presence pacing behind his eyes, trapped. Like I could be trapped. With a bunch of psychotic killers who hunted the things of my nightmares.

How long had it been since I’d seen him? In class he’d appeared to be a gangly boy who could have passed for fifteen. Now his eyes, a dull blue with no jade star I could see from a distance, held stains of terrible things, as if his soul had broken, shattered like thin ice under a fist.

Asher nodded to the Colonel, who retrieved something wrapped in cloth from the table beside one of the sofas. Holding it on top of his two hands like an offering, he came forward. Asher unfolded the cloth to reveal the bible, the golden lock once again in place. He turned to me, his expression a blank slate. “Come here, Addison.”

My real name. Not good. I shook my head, laughed again, and even to me it sounded on the edge of hysteria. “No. Hell no, I’m not touching that thing again.”

“Why not?” His mask slipped ever so slightly. The words were too even, too flat, but I couldn’t figure out what he wanted so I could deny it to him.

“You know why not.” There, that was nicely cryptic, so he’d know what I meant without letting everyone else know the sight of my own blood made me queasy.

Turning to Remy, who watched me the way a cat watched a fly caught in a web, fascinated and morbidly curious, Asher said, “Bring her.”

The big guy’s lips curled with far more amusement than I could handle right at the moment, bunching up the portion of tattoo crossing his cheek. “This gonna be fun. She already look about to rip outta her skin.”

I blinked at him, unable to breathe. He wouldn’t dare. Sophia stepped out from in front of me, leaving me exposed to the horde and their interested stares.

How the hell could I get out of this? There were too many of them, mostly bigger and way more fit than me. I couldn’t run in the shoes, and I had a little pride, so I ignored my inner voice that urged me to bolt. But I didn’t need a doorway here, did I?

Home. I wanted to go home to the cabin with its red tin roof and dense bush encircling it. The image of my childhood sanctuary and playground filled my mind.

The air thickened in an instant. The beating heart pounded against my skin, or from within it, I couldn’t tell, but it was working. I was calling the Shift.

Remy grabbed me around the waist, and the room snapped around me again.

I screamed and kicked as he picked me up and tucked me under his arm like a puppy. Prying my fingers against his hold didn’t budge him. His muscles just barely flexed, as if I were no harder to carry than a limp sock.

“This
kolohe
feisty,” Remy said, and he sounded surprised. “She call the Shift, and it answer. If I not grabbed her when I do, she’da gone seeya.”

Oh, shit. Would Asher take my memories because I’d tried to take off? And what did
kolohe
mean? It sounded affectionate more than insulting, but who knew when it came out of a sentinel’s mouth.

Low murmurs rumbled around the room as Remy plunked me back on my heels in front of Asher. My breaths continued to hammer in and out of me. “I’m sorry, I panicked. Please don’t take my memories,” I said, begging Asher with my eyes. “And stop trying to convince them to vote me in.”

“You’re doing a fine job of that all on your own.” He smiled, and this one held victory. “Shocking, I know.”

“Screw you.”

“Maybe later.”

Ah! He did not just say that. To go along with the flush of anger crawling up my neck, embarrassment and the images he’d induced with that comment added their own heat. “Not if you were the last prick on the planet.”

That wiped off his smug grin in a flash. Remy, Marcus, and the skyscraper Asian guy burst out laughing.

“Open the bible, Addison.” Asher took me from Remy, tugging me toward the Colonel by my gloved wrist. Marcus stepped in closer, Kat behind him. They both stared blankly at us, as if afraid to betray what they really thought.

“Why would I do that?” I asked. If he wanted me to touch the book, then it would help his cause to have me initiated. No way. The Colonel shook his head and shot Asher a pointed look.

Asher grabbed my thumb, pulling the glove off, which he used to wrap around my wrist and force my hand to the lock. The instant my fingers touched the gold, a surge of something rushed up and out of me, ruffling Asher’s raven-wing hair and even prying a few strands of the Colonel’s from the gelled lump on his head. The same delicate midnight-blue lines crawled up my arm as I’d seen on Asher in my car, lit as if someone had injected me with the stuff out of one of those glow sticks they sell at fireworks shows, a living tattoo of delicate, curling patterns. It had happened for only a second the first time I’d touched the book, so why was it worse now?

When I surveyed the shocked faces in the room, I realized it didn’t matter. Asher’s show had sealed my doom.

“Final vote,” the Colonel said. “All in favor of initiating this candidate, raise your hands.”

Asher and six other sentinels shot their hands up. Only Marcus, Kat, and the Aussie were on my side.
Shit
.

“No.” I shook my head.

Sophia stared at me where she stood near Kyle. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed. A tear crawled down her cheek, but she didn’t look away. I held her gaze like the last solid thing in the world, more grateful she hadn’t left me than I could ever tell her, even if in the end she couldn’t save me from the monsters.

I got the sense that maybe I’d been doomed from the start, and nobody and nothing would have gotten me off the crazy train.

Next stop: who the hell knew?