Dark Wolf Unbound (Heart of the Shifter #2) (12 page)

A
bby rested
her head on Jace's shoulder, tucking herself up against him. His arm was around her, his fingers gently playing with her hair. She sighed, amazed at how relaxed and at peace she was. Her body had been strung with tension for so long she'd forgotten what it felt like to be able to breathe deeply and let herself relax into the mattress.

It was because of Jace, and everything he offered her. She ran her hand over his chiseled chest, still in awe of his physical perfection. He was elemental beauty and grace, everything Abby wasn't, and yet, he'd made her feel like she was the oxygen he needed in order to breathe.

She spread her palm out on his chest, counting the beats of his heart. His skin was still hot, the warmth pouring into her like the warm sunlight on a cold day. Was that his wolf energy? Or just his own inner strength as a man?

He put his hand over hers, trapping it. She watched his fingers encircle hers, his strong hand dwarfing hers. "You make me feel safe," she said quietly. "After Lucius, I was afraid all the time. I felt as though he was in the shadows, stalking me, ready to attack at any moment."

His fingers tightened around hers, and he brought her hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to each knuckle. "I want you to feel safe," he said, his voice equally as soft. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect you, but we can't ignore the truth."

She frowned. "What truth?"

He rolled onto his side to face her, draping his leg over her hip. "The fact that if I hear that song, I
will
shift and kill." He traced his finger along her jaw. "You're safe with me now. I promise you that. But that song..." He shook his head. "It owns me."

Guilt settled deep in her chest. She knew he spoke the truth, because she'd seen so many wolves try to fight it, and all had failed. But she'd also seen something else. She'd seen Grigori, Lucius, and Damien learn to defeat it, because their drive for control and dominance was so strong. Jace had the same inner drive, but his was protection and safety of others...of her. Could a good heart be strong enough to defeat it, the way a black heart was? "It's not that simple," she said.

"Because Grigori and Damien have managed it." His words were grim, his jaw tight as he acknowledged that they had succeeded where he hadn't. "Tell me about Grigori. I need to know it all. Why is he after you? Why Lucius?"

She sighed, not wanting to go there, but knowing she needed to. She couldn't hide from the nightmares anymore. Grigori had Seth, and the only way to get him back was to face it. She focused on the warmth of Jace's leg over her hip, and in the intimacy between them that somehow kept the darkness of her past at bay. "My mom was Grigori's mate when he was young. They met when she was fifteen, and he was twenty-five. He was the son of the pack alpha, powerful, handsome, and charming. He was captivated by her beauty, and he claimed her. She was swept up by him and fell for him immediately. She was sixteen when she had my sister."

Jace's eyebrows went up, and he ran his hand down her arm and over her hip, as if he sensed that she needed him to ground her. "And you?"

She nodded. "She was eighteen when she had me. She'd been so young and innocent when she first met Grigori, that she couldn’t see how depraved Grigori and his father were. She was completely under his spell." She bit her lip, focusing on Jace's eyes to ground herself. "I saw so many terrible things," she said. "They loved to torture innocents. Men, women, children. It didn't matter. It was—" She shook her head to clear it. "When I was seven, my nightmares were constant. I was terrified that Grigori would come into my room at night and take me, like he'd done to the others. I started singing to distract myself, then one day..." She stopped, as images of that terrible night flashed through her mind.

"Look at me, Abby." Jace's voice was gentle, drawing her gaze to him. His eyes were blazing with barely contained anger, but she knew it was toward Grigori. Somehow, his anger chased away the fear, cocooning her in his strength.

She held up her hand, and he took it, sliding his fingers between hers before bringing her hand to his lips and lightly kissing it. "Continue," he said softly, between kisses.

She watched his lips press against her skin, focusing on him instead of the memories. "I was hiding in the trees near a clearing where they'd staked out a male shifter and his two daughters. I was so scared for them, and for myself, so I started to sing. I knew they wouldn't hurt me, because I was Grigori's daughter, and therefore he was the only one allowed to hurt me. I thought singing would help bring them peace, but instead—" She stopped.

Jace slipped his hand behind her neck and kissed her, his mouth tender and demanding at the same time. He didn't stop the kiss, continuing until she melted against him, her body crying out for his touch. He broke the kiss and began to nibble down the side of her neck. "Let me guess. Your song made the dad shift and attack the others. Grigori or his dad saw it happen, figured out your talent, and decided to use you."

She closed her eyes, focusing on the way his teeth grazed her earlobe. "They told me if I didn't do it, that they'd hurt my mom or my sister." She pulled back. "I should have been brave. I should have told my mom and trusted that she'd run away with me, but she was so caught up in Grigori's spell that I didn't know if she would support me. So, I said nothing. There were so many, Jace, so many. I just—"

God, how many times had she stood there, that terrible song coming from her mouth, while men shifted and destroyed innocents. The screams of pain from the victims, the agony of the men after it was over and they'd shifted back, realizing what they'd done. "He wanted to break them," she whispered. "Sometimes it turned them into lethal disciples, and other times..." She looked at Jace. "It destroyed their soul. Like you. I saw it in your eyes at the trial. You were like the others. You felt that same anguish that they had, and yet somehow, you were still functioning, still caring, still fighting to find meaning in it. You may think you're weak, Jace, but you're the opposite. No one else who felt your anguish was able to survive the weight on their soul." She rested her palm on his heart. "Just you," she whispered. "You're special." Her throat tightened as she said the words, and she knew it was true. "You're the first one, the only one, who survived my song without losing who you were."

His eyes darkened, and yearning flashed through them, a deep, raw craving for her to be right. She knew how deeply he needed to be whole again, to find a way to believe in himself. She realized she was his only chance for that, the only one who truly understood what he'd endured and how strong he was to be lying there with her, fighting for survival, even though he was willing to die.

He didn't acknowledge his own needs, however. He simply brushed her hair back from her face, offering her comfort, as if he truly understood what she'd gone through, the depth of anguish she lived with every day for what she'd allowed Grigori to force her to do. "What finally made you leave the pack?" he asked gently.

"When Lucius decided to marry my sister. I knew what he was like, but my sister fell for his charms the same way my mom had fallen for Grigori. She hadn't seen what I'd seen. She'd never been there when Lucius and Grigori had forced me to sing to those innocent men..." She blinked back tears. "When I found out that my sister was going to marry Lucius, I tried to tell her the truth. She didn't want to believe me, so she confronted Lucius."

Jace groaned. "Oh...hell..."

She nodded. "That's when he attacked me. It was my punishment for interfering. My grandmother found me, and she took me to Kiernan." Tears burned in her eyes. "My grandmother told my mother what had happened, and my mom believed her." She looked at him. "
She believed her
. All this time, I'd kept the truth from them, thinking I was protecting them, thinking that they would never believe me, and I'd been wrong. I should have had faith in them, Jace, but I didn't. My mom told my sister what Lucius had done, and this time, my sister finally accepted the truth. Together, they tried to break from the pack, but Grigori found my mom. He killed her, torturing her to tell him where my sister and I were, but she never told."

She looked at him. "I spent all that time letting Grigori control me because I didn't believe in my mom. If I'd told her, she would have left right away, and they'd both still be alive. I was afraid, and after Lucius, I was still afraid. She died for me, and yet, all along, I didn't think she'd even believe me. I was so wrong...and my lack of belief in her, in both of them, resulted in them both dying."

"It's not your fault." He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm, his eyes flashing. "You're like me, a natural protector. Your number one goal was to ensure the safety of those you loved. You'd been raised in the pack since birth, trained to believe in their omnipotence. The fact that you were able to see what they'd done and stand up to them in the end is a testament to your incredible strength."

"Me?" She laughed softly, a laugh of bitterness. "I was stupid—"

"No." He caught her jaw, forcing her to look at him. His face was angry, and his eyes were glittering. "You're fucking amazing. Never, ever blame yourself for singing that song. Ever. They were holding the ones you loved most hostage, and you were a girl, in the hands of brutal killers. You survived it, and you never lost your ability to love. Your sister and your mother were perfectly capable of seeing what was going on. They chose not to, until you were almost killed. But you didn't hide from what was happening. You saw it all along. Do you understand how much courage it took to see the truth, when everyone around you didn't want to?"

Tears filled her eyes as she searched his face, her heart turning over at his words. "You make me sound...brave," she whispered. She couldn't stop a tear from trickling down her cheek. The only emotions she'd ever felt for herself were hate, disgust, horror, and guilt. But with the way Jace was looking at her, suddenly, she felt different, like maybe, just maybe, there was something inside her that was as beautiful as what she saw in him. "And then came you..."

She laid her hand on his bare chest. "You see me in a way that I've always wished I was, but never thought I could be. You make me...feel like I can breathe, like I deserve to breathe. In your arms, I feel safe, and I've never felt safe in my entire life. You are this great treasure, this great source of strength and yet..." Her fingers dug into his chest. "At any moment, I could trigger you and force you to kill me. The ugliness is so close to the surface."

"For both of us." He slid his hands through her hair. "I am your greatest threat, and you are mine, and yet... I feel like you're my only chance to survive."

She searched his face. "That's how I feel too."

He framed her face with his hands. "Listen to me, Abby. No matter what happens going forward, you can't blame yourself. Not for the choices you already made, or what might happen in the future. You have an amazing heart, and a beautiful soul, both of which somehow survived a childhood of corruption and depravity. Don't ever lose that, okay? No matter what." He put his hand over her heart. "If you hold onto that, then Lucius and Grigori lose, regardless of whatever else happens." Heat poured from his hand to her heart, melting the shields that had been around it for so long. "I would be dead right now, by my own hand, if you hadn't walked up to me and asked for my help, refusing to let me die. I need you, and I owe you. I want to destroy the demons that haunt you, and I want to help you retrieve Seth." His eyes darkened. "I want to be that man for you, Abby. I need to do that."

Her throat tightened, and she nodded. "Okay," she whispered. She didn't even know how to ask for help, or to accept it, but somehow, Jace made it easier. Maybe it was because she understood the demons that haunted him, and she knew that he needed her as much as she needed him. "What do we do now? Seth is out there somewhere, and in two days, Grigori and Lucius are going to force him to kill using my voice. I can't let that happen." She rolled onto her back and pressed her palms to her eyes, trying to regroup. As much as she wanted this moment to just be about her and Jace finding a place to leave their guilt and torment behind, it was more than that. "We have to stop it, Jace."

"I understand. I'm with you." His voice was taut, almost feral in his fury. "Tell me why your song didn't turn Damien in the alley."

She rolled onto her side to face him. "Because they practiced, again and again, and again."

A muscle ticked in his cheek. "They listened to your song repeatedly until they finally learned to resist it?"

She nodded.

"How many people did they kill before they beat it?"

"Hundreds, at least, but—" She caught Jace's arm as he swore. "But I truly believe that's because they didn't really care if they killed. They were learning to resist for strategic purposes, but they
liked
killing, and a part of them didn't want to stop. You're different."

"I'm not that different—"

"Jace!" She smacked him in the chest. "Don't say that! Don't you understand what they're like? Didn't you see my scars? Lucius did that for
pleasure
. How can you say you're like that? Don't insult me like that!"

He swore and caught her arm. "Hey, I'm sorry." He wiped his thumb over her cheek, and belatedly she realized she was crying. "You're right. I'm not like them."

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, unable to stop the tears. "Don't take my faith away from me," she whispered. "I haven't trusted a man my whole life, until you. Don't tell me I'm wrong. I need my faith in you. I need to know that there's someone good out there in this world. Do you understand?"

He nodded, continuing to stroke her cheek. "I understand." He leaned forward and kissed her gently, a kiss so tender and kind that more tears threatened.

She closed her eyes, letting his lips drift over her cheeks, kissing away the tears. He cupped her face gently, so gently, his thumb tracing delicate circles along her jaw while he nibbled at her lips. Her soul ached for his touch, for his kiss, for the safety of his embrace, for how he made her feel.