Dark Star: Confessions of a Rock Idol (19 page)

I’ll be in touch again soon. Until then, warmest regards from Topeka!

Karen

Dropping back into the chair, I considered reading the prayer in Karen’s letter, saying it to God, just for the heck of it. What could it hurt?

In fact, I did.

Leaning forward, with my elbows resting on my knees and the letter there in my hands, I read the words to the prayer quietly, thoughtfully, sending them up…into the sky. “Amen.”

Had I prayed?

But I’m drunk. He won’t accept it.

You didn’t just pray,
something told me.

Besides, you need to count the cost. What’s it going to cost you, Lester, to become a Christian?
The music would have to go, the women, the drugs, and booze, the adoration, the money—anything I wanted, anytime.

Forget it! Those things are my life. They are who I am.

But…have they made you happy? Have they
satisfied?

They’re supposed to! Everyone who didn’t have those things thought they satisfied.

But what about in your case, Lester?

I looked down at the letter again, then closed my eyes.

“I am a sinner, God. A messed-up sinner,” I whispered. “Karen says You’ll cleanse me. Is it true? Will You?”

The familiar voice from behind scorched me like a flamethrower. “I suppose
that’s
from Karen Bayliss.”

I turned my head to see the rage in Endora’s small black eyes…her silk jacket still on…keys in hand…out of breath.

For a flash, I saw that she was taken aback by my damaged face. But she ignored the impulse to sympathize. She had come too far…
“You lied to me!”
She strutted toward me, ripping the letter out of my hands.

Reading the words on the page, she sassed:
“‘I’ll be in touch again soon…Karen.’
Why didn’t you tell me about Karen Bayliss? KB. Huh? This is the K that I warned you about!” She crumpled the letter.

As I rose from the chair she shoved me as hard as she could back into it.

“Take it easy,” I warned in my nastiest voice, standing again. “I’m covered with bruises!”

“I found letters at your place in New York! A bunch of them. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t even think about Karen being the K person,” I said in a nasally, innocent voice. “It’s just fan mail.”

“Yeah, fan mail that comes with pretty roses, fan mail you keep in its own separate compartment in your desk…with no other fan mail?” she barked out. “What is going on, Everett? Is this woman getting to you? Have you talked to her?”

“Calm down,” I said, annoyed. “I’ve been getting letters from this chick for ten years.”

“This chick, this person,
this thing,
is out to destroy you. Do you understand what I’m saying to you? Don’t you know by now that you can trust me on things like this?”

I laughed. “You’re crazy. She wants me to be a Christian. That’s all. She’s not interested in me…as a man.”

“She is what the Love card was all about.” Endora opened up the crumpled letter. “I swear to you on my mother’s grave, Everett, this woman is out to ruin your life and career. She’s out to stop everything we’ve fought for!”

“What are you talking about?” I yelled. “What do you mean…‘Everything we’ve fought for’?”

“Leading people to the truth about freedom on earth, about life on the Other Side.”

“That’s
your
truth. Those are your beliefs.” I snatched the letter from her. “Stop pushing your agenda on me.”

At the same time, we both looked at DeathStroke publicist Pamela McCracken, who ducked her head into the lounge for a moment but quickly realized she was in a war zone and disappeared.

“Liza Moon can tell us more about this, Everett; I just know it. I’ve been getting these incredible feelings. They wake me up at night.”

“You’re nuts! Liza’s dead. Karen Bayliss was writing me letters long before Liza died.”

“Something’s going on!” she whispered in a rage. “Liza can tell us more. I know she can! We need to contact her. I want you to do a séance with me. We can reach her.”

“No! I have no interest in talking to the dead. And I’m getting sick of your psychobabble.”

“Don’t do that, Everett. Don’t turn on me. You
do not
want me against you.”

“What is that? Some sort of threat?”

She set her purse in the chair and began taking her coat off. “I’m warning you about this girl. If you pursue her, I will
not
be by your side. You’ll be on your own. And she’ll bring death to your door. You’ve been warned.”

“I’ve never talked to her,” I said innocently.

“Have you tried?”

“I called, but she wasn’t there.” I took a swig of my drink. “Let’s change the subject.”

Endora sat down, found a compact in her purse, and checked her mascara. Then she snatched a cigarette and lit it.

“You have everything you need!” She turned and stared at me, smoke jetting out her nostrils. “Do you understand that? So many people would
die
to be in your shoes. People worship you—just the way you are. You don’t
have
to change.”

“Does it matter to you that I’m not happy?”

“Stop questioning so much.
That’s
your problem. Can’t you just enjoy yourself, enjoy your music and all that you have, like you used to?”

I felt the warm, crumpled letter in my hand. “Things aren’t like they used to be.” I stared at the rock waterfall. “Something’s wrong. I’m…changing.”

“But it
can
be like old times, Everett.” She scooted closer to me. “Where is that rock ’n’ roll god I first met in LA? You were so bold and confident back then, knew exactly what you wanted and where you were going—straight to the top.”

“And now…rock bottom,” I said blankly. “I need help.”

I watched the clear water shimmering over the different levels of multicolored rocks.

Yes, I need help.

“You’re getting tired, aren’t you, Everett?” Her voice cut to monotone. “Getting sleepy. So tired from all the hard work and travel, the worries and pressure. Drowsy, Everett. Close your eyes and rest. I’ll wake you in good time.”

I could hear the water, trickling and gurgling over the rocks, but I was fading.

“You’re drowsy.” She sounded like a mother speaking to a three-year-old. “You’re so tired that you’re giving yourself up to me… Sleep now, child… Simply allow me to impose my will over you.”

It was as if I were draining away, into the water.

“We’re doing a little test,” came the distant voice, zoning in and out. “Gain dominion over your mind…take the guitar…smash…black out…will not remember…”

I was out of breath and flat on my back when I came to, with red-faced Ricky and Gray frantically pinning me down.

A small crowd had gathered at the doorway to the dark lounge, each person staring in bewilderment.

Pain in the knuckles of my hands.

“What’s happening?” I said to the faces glaring down at me.

“You tell us.” Gray breathed hard, raising his sweaty head toward what used to be the rock waterfall.

Now it was a pile of broken slate mixed with stones and pieces of the black Les Paul that used to hang on the wall. The hoses that formerly powered the waterfall were mangled, one shooting straight up into the air like a drinking fountain.

Looking to my right and left, I saw blood trickling from my knuckles, the neck of the guitar still in my clenched right hand. I, too, was out of breath.

“Did…I do that?”

Ricky shook his head in disgust and collapsed to the floor next to me.

I stared up at the familiar faces, some wearing looks of shock, some of sympathy, and others of repulsion.

“It’s a wrap,” Gray announced, still panting. “Make sure everyone knows we’re through. We’ll start tomorrow at nine.”

“What happened…Gray?” I asked, my heart pounding.

They let me sit up on the floor.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t remember what you just did?” he said, ticked.

“I don’t. Honestly. What happened?”

“What do you think?” Ricky said. “You demolished that waterfall.”

“Cursing God the whole time you did it,” Gray added.

“Was I alone?” I said, almost scared to ask.

Gray handed me his handkerchief. “Just you and your demons, Everett.” He got to his knees, then his feet, and walked out of the room. “Just you and your demons.”

15

“
YOUR HONOR, I’D JUST
like to make it perfectly clear that my client, Everett Lester, in no way denies his former drug use or dealings with weapons,” Brian announced just before beginning his cross-examination of the Jewelry Man, Charlie LaRoche.

“These details—about Mr. Lester’s drugs and weapons, brought about by Mr. LaRoche and others—should no longer shock any of us. They are a factual part of his past.” Boone walked in front of me as I sat as innocently as possible with my hands clasped and resting on the large wooden table in front of me.

“However, as we continue questioning witnesses, there are several vital facts none can overlook. First, the fact that Everett is not on trial for drug usage. Second, the undeniable changes in his life slightly before, during, and after the death of Madam Endora Crystal. And third, the extraordinary occult powers this woman possessed and unleashed against Mr. Lester during their acquaintance.”

Boone’s stealthy and opinionated introduction ticked off Frank Dooley, who arose quickly to appeal to Judge Sprockett.

“Mr. Boone,” Judge Sprockett said, “please get on with your questions and save your summations for closing arguments.”

“Yes, Your Honor.” Boone turned from the judge to the witness stand, not missing a beat. “Allow me to ask you, Mr. LaRoche, if you ever witnessed any strange or mystic-type behavior—any abnormal displays of psychic power—by Madam Endora Crystal?”

Charlie demonstrated the kind of boredom you might see on the face of a high school kid in a physics lecture. “Endora was definitely a Gothic-type individual.” He shifted in his seat to perk himself up. “The average person may not know it just by looking at her, but she had a dark side. And yes, she obviously knew magic…or something.”

“What about specifics? Can you tell us some of this magic you saw?”

“One time she broke a glass that was about five feet away from her, without touching it,” Charlie explained. “She could make the hands on a clock move from across the room.”

The crowd began to stir.

“She would tell us the phone was about to ring and even knew who would be on the other end when it did…”

“Did these things surprise you?” Boone asked, flowing with the tide of emotion swelling up in the room. “I mean,
I’ve
never seen anyone do such things and, probably, neither have most of the people in this courtroom.”

“Sure it freaked me out. She did most of that stuff when we were stoned. I guess I really never thought that much about it afterward…until now, until I knew I’d be testifying at this trial.”

“How did Everett Lester react to Endora’s magic or telekinetic powers?”

“Oh, he was blown away by it, too. Like I said before, I think that’s one of the reasons he kept her on retainer so long. He knew she had these freaky…powers. I think he was scared. He didn’t want her to turn against him.”

“Now, you told Mr. Dooley that Everett mentioned ‘getting rid’ of Endora Crystal. Isn’t it true that he was talking about firing Endora and not killing her?”

Charlie shook his greasy head. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Oh, come now, Mr. LaRoche. You know darn well he wasn’t talking about hurting Endora. Tell the court, what have you got against Everett Lester?”

“Nothing! I’ve told you what he said. I don’t read minds like Endora, so I’m not positive what he meant when he said he wanted to get rid of her! All I know is, Everett didn’t like the way Endora was messing with his head.”

“When you say ‘messing with his head,’ what do you mean by that?”

“On more than one occasion, he told me he’d done things that he had no recollection of doing.”

Slight laughter rolled through the room.

“No,” Charlie said defensively, in response to the crowd. “I mean, things he wouldn’t normally do, even if he was high…weird things.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, geez. One night they found him sitting on the end of a diving board, staring into the water. This was at a pool on top of a building in downtown Chicago where the band was staying. He was muttering something about being able to walk on water… I don’t know.”

“And wasn’t there a time during a recording session?”

Charlie nodded. “He demolished some kind of waterfall display at a studio where the band was recording, near LA. He told me he wasn’t even that stoned. Just did it. No reason. When he came to, he told me it wasn’t like coming to after being stoned. It was totally different—really scared him.”