Dark Solace (15 page)

Danial had taken the news of Theo and me
returning to my old home okay. But it was in his neutral tone as we
said goodbye how much he was hurting. That it was going to be
another week before we spent any time together just twisted the
knife that was already in his heart.

“How is it, being home?” Devlin asked.

Theo had been ecstatic to be back at my old
house. It should have felt good to be home, but to me our old house
didn’t feel like home anymore. Jessica and Cavity missed Briar, and
spent most of their time hiding. Devon missed Elle and Theoron, and
moped sulkily. The dogs missed Ivan and Aran, and sat looking out
the windows hopefully. And me...I missed Danial terribly, after
having spent the better part of six months living at his home, and
sleeping beside him most every night. The winter that was in the
first breath of chill winds loomed before me, my heart weighted
with sorrow.

I’d cried the first night alone with Theo. He
comforted me, blaming it on the blood Danial had given me. But the
truth was just that I loved Danial, and I wanted to be with him.
All I could think was that he must be terribly lonely, going to his
bed alone. Right or wrong, I resented Theo for making me leave
him.

“Sar?” Devlin prompted.

“I miss him,” I said hastily. “But we’ll work
it out.” I kissed him quickly. “I’ll see you in a week.”

* * * *

That following week, the last of September,
dragged interminably. I bore it, reasoning that Theo was right,
that Danial’s blood needed time to work itself out of my system and
I’d feel better soon. But that didn’t make my feelings of loss any
lighter. Theo knew I was hurting, and didn’t push, spending most of
each day playing with Devon until his night shift started. I did my
e-mail work from home, knowing if I was around Danial that I
wouldn’t be leaving him again easily.

Instead of my feelings of withdrawal
lessening through the week, they intensified. Two days before the
big meeting, I was inside in the shower, sobbing out my frustration
and longing. Theo and Devon were out on the lawn playing with the
dogs, oblivious.

I got out, wrapped my hair in a towel, and
dried off, rubbing at my red eyes. Catching a glimpse of myself in
the mirror, I was mortified at how haunted I looked. Determined to
bring some normalcy back, I lathered on lotion, conditioned my
hair, and shrugged on some jeans.

I rummaged in my bra drawer, pulled out one
that Danial had gotten me a year back, and then burst into fresh
tears.

I want to be with him. I want that more than
anything—!

Suddenly, pitch-black darkness replaced my
sunlit bedroom. I blinked, trying to see.

“Sar?” a voice whispered hopefully.

“Danial?” I said, turning.

Cool arms enfolded me. “You have regained
your power, my darling,” Danial whispered.

I threw my arms around him and kissed him
passionately. Danial picked me up and laid me on his bed, easing
off my jeans. His deft hands ran up my bare flesh lightly, then
parted my thighs as he maneuvered between them.

“Sar,” he murmured hungrily, then his lips
devoured mine, his firm flesh pressing insistently. I yielded
instantly with a cry of delight, urging him on with my hands that
stroked his body, caressing and squeezing.

Our lust was primal, our breathing ragged
panting as we strove together in need, coupling hard and fast. Too
soon we crested the wave, each of us crying out our joy in the
other, our tremors fading.

Instead of withdrawing or rolling off me,
Danial wrapped his body around mine, clutching me hard. “I don’t
want you to leave,” he said desperately. “Please don’t leave me,
Sar. This last week has been misery.”

“I have to,” I said tearfully. “I don’t want
to, Danial, but I have to.”

“Damn Theo!” Danial cursed. “Damn him for
always wanting to keep you all to himself.”

“This isn’t about him,” I said gently. “It’s
about not being in thrall to your will. The line where you begin
and I end is blurring for me, Danial. If I stay, I’ll just lose
even more of myself. You don’t want that to happen any more than I
do.”

“Don’t stay away,” Danial pleaded. “We can be
together without exchanging—”

“I don’t think we can,” I whispered. “When
I’m with you, I want all of you, Danial. And I want to give you all
of myself and hold nothing back.” I touched his cheek, wet with
tears. “I don’t trust myself to stop you, even when I know I
should. The virus is still spiking, and all I want is for you to
make love to me again and bite me—”

“And I want to desperately,” Danial finished.
He moved me beneath him, shifting so he entered me slightly. “I
ache to be within you. Let me. Don’t stop me.”

“Yes,” I sighed. “Please.”

In a smooth motion Danial slipped inside and
began thrusting, his lips covering mine as he stroked my sweaty
flesh. Again he brought me, my loud screams ecstatic as he
swallowed in time to his thrusts, his fangs embedded deep. He
shuddered several times, then relaxed against me, spent. I held him
to me, listening to him drinking, floating on the pleasure and
happiness of his touch.

Danial withdrew, then kissed my neck gently.
“Does it hurt, Love?”

I shook my head. “There’s been no pain now
for a while.”

Danial touched my lips, then parted them with
his finger. “Your teeth aren’t sharp. I don’t think Camlyn knows
his ass from a teakettle.”

I laughed aloud, and he hugged me happily,
pulling the quilt over us. Almost immediately, I slept.

Danial awoke me. “It’s nearly eight at night,
Love. While I want you to stay, I felt it right to wake you and
tell you.”

And he likely had a meeting to get to.
Grumble. “I should get back. I’ve been gone for hours—”

“Stay with me,” Danial whispered silkily, his
fingers slipping across my thigh, then inside to caress.

I tried to wrest back my control. “Theo
needs—”

“I need you,” Danial said seductively. “Stay
here with me.”

“Danial, I can’t just leave him.”

“Once Theo sees you are serious about staying
here, he’ll come back also,” he explained. “It is safest here, Sar.
Here Devon has children he can be himself with. Theo is in less
danger here. And you and I can be together.”

“Theo and Devon are happy there—”

“But are you?” Danial said pointedly. “Are
you happy there with them, apart from me?”

No. The real plain truth was no. I wiped at
my eyes angrily. “That’s not fair.”

“I’m not playing fair, I’m playing to win,”
Danial said, rolling me onto my back beneath him. “I’m not going to
lose you again.”

Instead of my expected arousal, an odd
uneasiness filled me, snapping me completely awake. “Danial—”

Danial entered me again, and began to move.
“You belong here with me.”

“Wait—”

Danial pushed me to the mattress, his sudden
weight cutting off my words. His cool lips kissed my neck, then
there was needle sharp pain. I let out a screech, pushing back
against him.

Danial bit down harder, thrusting faster.

“Stop, or you’ll kill me,” I pleaded
raggedly. “What will you win then?”

Danial froze, and then slowly moved off me,
distancing himself. I brought my knees into my arms and sat with my
head down, huddled, my hand over the throbbing fresh bite on my
neck.

“I just miss you,” Danial said sadly, after
some moments had passed. “I miss waking up with you, and hearing
you singing as you work, and the way you’d always leave your
hairbrush in the shower. I’m surrounded by people practically at
all times and still the silence of your absence permeates
everything around me, leaving the stillness of despair and
loneliness to fill my empty spirit.”

“That sounds like poetry,” I said, reaching
out and clasping his hand.

“It’s not,” Danial replied despondently.
“It’s just how I feel.”

“I’m not doing this to make you suffer. I’ll
come see you as much as before, just like before.” I managed a
smile. “Now I can teleport again, that’ll mean a lot less wasted
time driving.”

“You would not have left, if not for Theo,”
Danial said bitterly. “Every time you have broken with me, he was
the cause.”

“Danial, stop,” I said firmly. “We’re going
to have many years together. We’re Oathed, remember? Your talk of
winning is ridiculous, because you’ve already won.”

“You’re right,” Danial said, sighing. “I’m
just jealous.”

“Don’t be,” I said, pulling him close for a
hug. “I can’t sleep with you every night, or maybe see you every
day. But I’ll come to you when I can, and I’ll think of you every
night before I sleep, Danial.”

“I love you,” Danial said tenderly. “I could
say it to you forever, and it would not be enough, to tell you what
you mean to me, Sar.” He drew back from me. “I have loved other
women over the years. But I’ve never loved one so deeply as I love
you.”

“I know it,” I said, touching his cheek.
“It’s the same way I feel for you, Danial. The same way I love you.
Please, don’t think you’ve lost me, because you haven’t. You never
could.”

Danial didn’t reply, he just held me in his
arms tightly.

* * * *

Theo was waiting for me when I returned
around midnight. Surprisingly, he didn’t say anything
judgmental.

“I’m glad you got your power back. Devon’s
already asleep in his bed. I’ll be waiting for you in our bed after
you shower.”

That was pointed. Still, I was grateful he
wasn’t upset. “I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“It’s okay,” Theo said. “You should probably
go, sweetheart. It’s already late.”

Though the shower felt wonderful, the
sensation of water on my skin delicious, more present was Danial
all those miles away, and it was all I could do not to go back to
him. Worried, I hurried and finished up, then climbed into bed with
wet hair.

Theo turned to me. “Sar, if you need Danial
again like today, go to him. I know what it’s doing to you to be
apart from him. It’s okay with me. Just come back to me
afterwards.”

“Okay,” I said hollowly, trying hard not to
think of Danial, the desire to go back to him stronger than ever
despite Theo in my arms.

“I love you,” Theo said, holding me close.
“Now that the virus is ebbing, hopefully Devlin and Danial can both
give you blood again. I worried about you being in thrall to Dev.
But now I’m just as worried about you being in thrall to Danial. I
see it in your eyes, a feverishness that didn’t use to be
there—”

Scared, I clung to him. “I know. I feel it
too.”

He stroked my back. “Shh. Danial would never
hurt you. But it’s better this way.”

Better for who? I wondered.

* * * *

The next day went by in a blur of
preparation, as Theo helped Danial prepare for the meeting with the
other Rulers in Canada. As much as I was nervous about it, my day
was full with last minute fall chores. The highs were in the
fifties now, the trees turning early this year. Soon we would need
to start burning wood again and shoveling snow. I wasn’t looking
forward to that, but I knew better than to let winter catch me
unawares.

Ghost and Darkness clustered around me,
panting after their long walk with Theo. I gave them each a
Cheweez, which they took politely, settling down happily to
munching.

“Now you be good for Warren,” I said to them.
“He’s going to watch you tonight. I want you to be good for him,
understand?”

Both dogs wagged their tails, but their focus
was all on the treat they were eating.

“I got the mail,” Theo said, shutting the
door behind him. “That air’s cold out there.”

“Any good mail?” I said, unwrapping the plate
of cookies I had baked for Warren. He’d said sugar cookies were his
favorite. I’d made them with Janice’s fox cookie cutter from her
wedding, and frosted them with orange frosting. I was hoping he
would like them, and not feel like a cannibal.

“This came for you,” Theo said, handing me an
padded envelope. “It must be from Devlin. The return address is
Hayden.”

I took it from him, perplexed. What had
Devlin sent me? While I was dying to rip open the package, I was
conscious of Theo watching me out of the corner of his eye. Knowing
Devlin, there could be almost anything in there, but odds were that
whatever it was would be provocative. It was better to wait until
later, when I was alone.

I put the package to the side, and left it
there, unopened. “Are you ready to grill the steaks?”

Devon let out a loud purr, and began to chirp
at me, looking eagerly at the countertop where the steaks were.

“Coming right up,” Theo said happily. “Bring
out a glass of wine and keep me company. It’s a nice night.” He
grabbed the steaks and headed outside, Devon trotting after
him.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. He’d just
said it was cold a second earlier. “Be right there.”

* * * *

“We’re meeting with Devlin at the airport to
fly up to Canada,” Theo said, shoving on his shoes. “We’re going to
admit everything to do with your pregnancy, including Devon. As
that worked to everyone’s advantage, Devlin said it didn’t matter.
All you have to remember is that you didn’t have any surgery
afterwards. You were out for the C-section, so just say you don’t
remember, which is factual—”

“Theo, I’m not going to be at the meeting,” I
said patiently. “Titus’s already taken Devon and Venus to stay with
Terian, Sundown, Elle and Theoron at Danial’s. We should all have
some fun tonight. I’m looking forward to seeing Sun, actually.
Terian told me Asher likes her, so—”

“I’m just telling you what to remember for
the Hallow’s party,” he replied. “It’s coming up in another month.
Samuel and the rest will be there.”

I made a face. “I’ll do my best not to
converse with them, then. When is Titus coming for me?”