Dark Obsession (17 page)

“When I close my eyes,” she whispered, “all I can see is her face and all I can hear is her voice, begging me not to leave her. But I did leave her, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

Erin turned her face away but not before Slade had seen the tears slipping down her cheeks, and without
thinking, he
was
touching her, pulling her into his arms, holding her close. His battered hands smoothed her hair as she cried quietly against his chest.

Slade closed his eyes. He had no right to be touching her with hands that had seen so much blood, wreaked such destruction. He had killed the emotions inside himself a long time ago. The Mission had changed him, made him a part of the darkness he sought to destroy.

He had no right to hold a woman like Erin, but he couldn’t let her go. Not now. Now when he had found the one person who needed him almost as much as he needed her.

His lips touched Erin’s hair as he felt her tremble in his arms. And for the first time in years, he wished he could be something other than what he was.

CHAPTER TWELVE

E
rin sipped hot tea and huddled inside the afghan Nick had dug out of the closet for her. She knew she should lie down and try to get some sleep, but the moment she closed her eyes, the nightmares would be on her again.

Megan’s dead, she repeated to herself. She can’t come back. Then why do I keep seeing her? Erin asked herself desperately. Why do I keep hearing her?

Because you’re crazy, a little voice taunted her. You’ve always been crazy. Why else would you write those horrible stories?

“What kind of person would be drawn to the thing that frightens her the most?” she whispered.

“Feeling better?”

Erin jumped slightly at the sound of Nick’s voice. He’d been so quiet since they’d come back that she had almost forgotten he was there. She tried a smile, but it fell flat. “I’m okay,” she said.

But she wasn’t okay, and they both knew it. Erin looked away from his too-perceptive stare.

You’re obsessed, Erin,
she told herself.

“You’re exhausted,” he said. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”

“I can’t.”

“You have to rest.”

“Why?” she asked, lifting her gaze to his. “Why do you care what I do?”

“Don’t you know?” His voice was rough, untamed, but there was something beyond the edges that captured Erin’s attention, that made her eyes flood with tears. There was something in his voice that she hadn’t heard in a very long time. Maybe ever.

He sat down beside her on the couch, and without thinking, Erin slipped her hand into his. She stared down at their linked fingers, noticing again the strength their union seemed to create.

“I can’t stay here tonight, Erin.”

“I know. You have work to do.”

“That’s not why and you know it.”

Her hand trembled in his. “What’s happening to us, Nick?” she whispered.

His expression darkened even more. “Nothing,” he said. “Nothing
can
happen between us. There isn’t room in my life for someone like you, Erin. I’ve…seen things, done things.”

“You’ve killed,” she said, sensing the truth.

“When I had to. But there’s more. So much more…” His words trailed off in heavy regret. “There’s too much darkness in my life. I can’t ever be free of it. I can’t even see the sunlight anymore.”

Her heart pounded against her breast as she gazed up at him, at the dark glasses that seemed so much a part of him now. “Why? Are you saying—”

“I’m saying I belong to the night, Erin, and nothing will ever change that.” He stood and paced to the window, staring out. “I should go now.”

More than anything, Erin wanted him to stay, but deep inside, she knew he was right. Nothing could happen between them. Not now, not ever. “I’ll be all right,” she said. “I’ll keep the doors and windows locked. And I won’t let anyone inside.”

But the moment the door closed behind him, Erin knew she had never felt so alone. She crossed the room to the window and watched him stride across the pavement to his car. He opened the door and climbed in, but instead of starting the engine, he merely sat there. For endless minutes he remained until finally Erin realized that he wasn’t going anywhere. He was staying there in front of her apartment, guarding her, protecting her. For the first time in years, she could lie down and sleep and know that the nightmares would be held at bay…by him.

He turned his head up toward her window, and for a moment, their gazes clung in the dark. And Erin sensed something stir to life inside her. Something that felt frighteningly like love.

* * *

In spite of Slade’s vigil, the voice called to her again that night as Erin lay sleeping. The strange whisper wove through the veil of sleep, arousing her with visions of a night she had never known before.
A tentacle of warm air swirled around her, touching her so intimately she shifted restlessly in her sleep.

“No,” she moaned, denying the dark seduction.

“Yes…”

The wind moved over her, touching her lips, her neck, her thighs…. “Nick,” she murmured.

For just a moment, the seductive wind seemed to howl in rage. Then the voice whispered inside her,
Not him. Never him. You belong to me. I’ve been waiting for you, Erin.

“Who are you?” she breathed.

Don’t you know?

“Yes,” she said. “I know.”

Feel me,
came the command.
Open your eyes and see me.

Her lids fluttered open, and Erin lay in the darkness of her sister’s bedroom as that nameless, faceless entity spoke to her very soul. The voice imprisoned her, seduced her, made her want desperately what she had always feared the most.

Boneless, drifting on the wind, Erin rose up and walked into the living room to stand before the French doors. There was a shadow on the balcony, a dark silhouette that made her breath catch. That made her heart pound in terror and a strange, dark excitement.

Open the door, Erin. Open the door and invite me inside.

Erin’s hand trembled on the knob. Emotions warred
inside her, but she couldn’t fight the command that bade her turn the knob, pull back the door, welcome that dark, familiar figure into her home…and into her soul. The metal slipped beneath her fingers. She gripped the knob tighter, turning…

Yes! Almost there. A little more…

She turned the knob, and the door blew open with such force that Erin staggered back. The wind rushed inside, tangling her hair, ripping at her nightgown as she stood staring at the man standing in the doorway. For some reason, she couldn’t make out his features, but she could see his eyes. They were glowing silver in the darkness.

“Say it,” he demanded in triumph. The beauty of his voice flowed over her, seducing her to obey. “Say the words, Erin!”

She moistened her lips. “Please come—”

“Erin!” The sound of another voice stopped her cold. It wasn’t a whisper this time, but a voice that called to her through the layers of fog surrounding her mind. Someone pounded on the front door, and the sound became louder, clearer, more urgent as the other voice began slipping away in a whirlwind of fury. “Open the door, Erin! Let me in!”

“Nick?”

She still stood facing the open French doors. The wind raged around her, fast and furious, as the silhouette on the balcony began backing away, fading more deeply into the night. Suddenly Erin was released
from the spell. Just as the front door burst open, she collapsed to the floor, half in a daze, shaking with fear.

Slade stood in the doorway, looking for all the world like a demon spawned by the darkness. He strode into the room, his leather coat open, his dark glasses revealing nothing but reflected moonlight. Erin took all this in with only a minimum of awareness. She tried to draw herself up into a ball, tried to hide her partial nakedness from a gaze that was no less penetrating because it was hidden.

Quickly Slade removed his coat, knelt beside her and wrapped it around her shoulders. He stared at the balcony doors. “What happened?”

“I—I don’t know.” Erin was shaking so hard she could hardly answer him. “I th-thought I s-saw someone on the b-balcony—”

Slade was up and out the open French doors before she could finish the sentence. He came back moments later, shutting and locking the doors behind him. He bent over Erin, gently lifted her to her feet, then guided her toward the couch.

“Tell me what happened,” he demanded. “Every last detail.”

“I was asleep,” Erin said, trying to clear her mind and remember exactly what had just happened to her, “but I could feel this strange breeze in the room with me. It seemed almost…alive. It…touched me,” she
whispered, looking away. “I know that sounds crazy.”

“Did you see anything outside? Anyone?”

There was a note of urgency behind his query. Erin’s eyes shot back to him, seeing a face that was at once strange, yet increasingly familiar; frightening, yet oddly comforting. Something stirred inside her. A restlessness she didn’t quite understand. She touched a trembling finger to her lips. “I saw a man. He wanted in—”

“He?”

“Roman Gerard,” Erin whispered.

“How do you know?” Slade gripped her arm until Erin winced and tried to draw away. He relaxed his hold, but his voice conveyed his tension. “I’m sorry. But think, Erin. How did you know it was Gerard?”

“I recognized his voice,” Erin said, her voice steadier. “I met him at the theater, before I went to the club.”

“You went there alone?”

“Yes. I had to see him,” Erin said, averting her eyes.

Slade swore under his breath. “The doors were open when I came in. This is important, Erin. Did you open them?
Did you invite him inside?
”

“No, but I—” She stopped as she began to remember more and more. The strange wind. The provocative whisper. The dark coercion. She closed her
eyes in shame. She had almost invited him in. She hadn’t been able to help it. If Nick hadn’t come—

She opened her eyes and gazed up at him. “How did you know to come?” she asked. “How could you know that I needed you?”

Because I was afraid, Slade thought. But he said only, “I didn’t like the idea of your being here all alone.”

“I’m always alone,” she said bravely, but he could see that her hands were trembling. Her eyes were soft and blue and very inviting. Almost against his will, Slade’s gaze traveled over her. The wide neckline of her cotton nightgown emphasized her creamy shoulders, her sleek neck. Like a subtle invitation, like a promise whispered in the dark, her breasts lifted slightly as she drew a long breath.

Slade closed his eyes tightly. “Get some clothes on,” he said hoarsely.

“What?” Her hand flew to her neck, and Slade saw her fingertips caress the spot where the silver cross had once lain. It was dawning on her that its being gone truly did mean that she had no more defenses.

And neither did he, God help them.

“You can’t stay here alone tonight,” he said flatly, as he got up and moved back to the window. He stared into the night with a brooding frown, seeing in his mind’s eye the nameless, faceless shadows wandering the streets, waiting and watching for the unsuspecting. The innocent.

Roman Gerard, he thought. Not D’Angelo. At least now he knew he was dealing with a real entity, and not a ghost from his past conjured up by his guilt.

Behind him he heard Erin stir to life. She got up and crossed the room toward him. He didn’t turn around, but he knew she was behind him. He could smell lilacs and sunshine and the essence of innocence that emanated from her like the most seductive perfume. There was an erotic undercurrent to her scent now, as if something dark and powerful had been awakened inside her.

Slowly he turned and gazed down at her. “Get dressed,” he said again. “I’ll take you to my place for tonight. Gerard can’t come to you there. You’ll be safe.”

But would she be safe from him?

* * *

The moment she walked back into the living room, Erin could feel Nick’s brooding stare on her. She wore her own clothes this time—jeans and a sedate lavender blouse—but for some reason they didn’t seem to suit her anymore. Erin didn’t understand why her own clothes felt so foreign to her and Megan’s felt so right. She didn’t understand all these new feelings whirling around inside her, either. Or why she was drawn to a man who also frightened her.

Slade took the overnight bag from her, and Erin shrugged into her coat. Within minutes they were inside his car, speeding through the darkened streets.
Erin was surprised to find that his apartment was located near the river, not far from the club they’d left earlier.

The area seemed even darker now, and more mysterious than ever. Slade pulled up to the front of a warehouse, activated the garage-door opener, then drove the car inside and lowered the door. Erin shivered as she stepped out of the car into a gloomy, cavernous room. A chill hung in the air as if the mist from the river had seeped through the cracks around the doors and windows. The warehouse reminded her of a tomb. Not that she actually knew what a tomb felt like, she thought, trying to suppress a shudder.

Slade’s hand on her elbow made her jump. “Sorry. Not much light down here. Watch your step.” But he seemed unaffected by the darkness. He still wore the dark glasses as he guided her deeper into the gloom.

Toward the back of the warehouse, the light completely gave out, and Erin lost all sense of direction. If not for Slade’s grip on her arm, she would have been hopelessly lost. As it was, she felt strangely excited.

Slade released her long enough to slide up the wooden panel at the front of a freight elevator. They stepped inside and he flipped the switch. Still in darkness, they began to ascend. Within seconds, the car bounced to a stop, the panel slid up, and they stepped directly into Slade’s apartment. “Home sweet home,” he murmured, turning on a lamp.

Though not as large as the room downstairs, the apartment still seemed huge, and the same chill pervaded the air. Erin tugged her coat more tightly around her as she walked slowly to the center of the room and looked around.

“I’ll try to get some heat going,” he said, disappearing into a shadowy hallway. When he returned, he’d taken off his coat. He wore jeans, black boots and one of the dark sweaters he seemed to favor.