Dark Kiss (The Two sides of me Book 1) (10 page)

My god why am I even here? My professional opinion obviously means nothing to him. “Well let’s get you comfortable to start with, what do you wear to bed?”

“Nothing.” Of course, why did I ask?

“Ok…well how about boxers, think you can tolerate that?” 

“I really don’t like wearing clothes to sleep nurse Mia.” I’m really weary of his attitude, so here goes nothing; I strut to the bedside, putting on a stern face.

“Arms up,” I command and he raises his arms like a child with a sheepish grin. I strip it over his head briskly and order, “Jeans.”

“I’ll need help with that.” He smiles up at me through his long, thick eyelashes with fake innocence, teasing me. I reach out to unbutton his jeans, trying to think boring thoughts but it’s far from working, my hands tremble as I unfasten his jeans and pull down the zipper while he watches my every movement.

“Up.” I motion my hands for him to raise his hips, but he smiles that sexy smile of his. “What?” I ask

“You’re quite bossy nurse Mia, I like it, but commanding me
up
isn’t necessary, I’m
up
whenever you’re around.” Queue the smirk…fuck I need to get out of this room before I maul him again. Ignoring his remark, I wiggle his jeans down his hips as best I can over the casted leg and then more easily his other lean, tanned leg. I avert my eyes and fold the clothes neatly.

“Those can go in the wash. I won’t wear them again without being laundered.” 

“Where is the laundry?” I say, turning to look at him I forget my plan to keep my eyes off of him. Shit, shit, shit, why did I look? He lays there in that larger-than-life bed, with his larger than life cock straining proudly against his briefs, dark purple briefs I now notice. I need to find out the deal with purple and this man. The smirk is back, one corner of his mouth drawn up ever so slightly, making a partial wink of his eye. How can he make that one look so intensely sexy? An ache low in my belly takes up where it left off earlier, and my mind fights for control over my body.
I’m his nurse, I’m his nurse
I keep repeating to myself,
be professional, and get a grip
. He points his finger toward the bathroom, indicating where the laundry belongs, but his eyes beckon me the entire time. I try to move to put the clothes away, but my feet are not listening to reason and I find myself at the edge of the bed,
not
the bathroom. Reaching out, he removes his folded clothes from my hands and drops them on the floor, keeping constant eye contact with me. Dark hooded eyes speak to me, he reaches up to my thick braid that hangs over my shoulder and pulls me down with a sudden yank. I whimper in surprise, not pain, and a sudden, overpowering need to be closer to him consumes me. Our mouths crash together violently, hungry for one another, the undercurrent of attraction and need taking control. He holds me by my braid and pulls me into his lap, dragging his mouth down my neck and nipping at my skin roughly, almost painfully, yet sensually. Intense, urgent kisses cover my face, and I let my head fall back, offering him better access to my neck, submitting to this internal fire. I clutch his bicep with one hand and reach between our bodies to feel his thickness throbbing into my hip, I feel the deep vibration of a groan in his chest. He shifts under me, and I feel his muscles tense slightly; realization that he is in pain jolts through me, and I pop myself off of his lap as he attempts to keep me captive by clutching my braid. Panting, I look him in the eye.

“This isn’t right,” I say, between ragged breaths.

“
I
say it is.” His voice is deep and demanding. “Let me go, you’re in pain, I can’t do this.” “Pain isn’t foreign to me Mia, this is nothing, and you misinterpreted my reaction.” He tugs my braid again to reinforce his words.

“No,” I say sternly, and snap my head hard enough to make him release his grip. “No means no,” I say.

“Until it means yes.” He flashes a mischievous smile.

“Evan, really I.... I don’t know what’s come over me, I’m not like this, I’ve never been like this,” I stammer.  My heart is pounding so hard in my chest; my palms are sweaty and that damn dizziness is starting again.

“I don’t know how you usually are Mia, but I’m quite enjoying the way you are now, except for the constant worrying.” Sparkles again- fuck I’ve passed out once in my life and this man puts me in such a tizzy that I’ve been on the edge of fainting two times in one day. “You’re doing it again, sit on the edge of the bed and put your head between your knees, you need to eat something,” he bosses, and there’s no time for pride; I have no choice but to do it or I’ll be on the floor unconscious momentarily.

Looking at my shoes for the second time today, and feeling double the embarrassment, I breathe in through my nose and out my mouth several times until I feel okay. I stand up slowly. “I think you’re right, my blood sugar is probably low, I need to eat,” I say, attempting to save a bit of my dignity with the excuse.

“Go to the kitchen, Cecelia keeps cheese and fruit trays in the refrigerator.” Walking out of his room, I feel him burning a hole in my backside as I make my way toward the kitchen. Just as promised, a cheese and fruit tray is in the fridge and. I pull it out, unwrapping it and pop a strawberry in my mouth. I spot some orange juice, pour a glass and chug it. Feeling a little better after a few more bites, I return the food to the fridge and roll my eyes, sighing and remembering suddenly that he’s probably watching me on his security cameras from his bed. Time to return for round 3.

Chapter 14

“Diary” by Alicia Keys

“So, feeling better?” he asks, studying me carefully when I return to the room.

“Yes, thank you, so you all set for the night?”

“No…. I need my sleeping pills- are you getting them or do I have to hop?” He’s so fucking stubborn!

“I can’t do it, what if you never wake up, we don’t know what’s going on until we get an MRI and another CT.”

“You can lay next to me and watch me breath all night if you want, but I’m taking those pills no matter what you do, whether I hurt myself in the process is your choice.” Marching to the bathroom, I snatch the pills off the counter and lob them on the bed within his reach, he can have them, but I’m not staying to watch him sleep. I can smell the manipulation and I’m not falling for it again.

“I’m going to bed, do you need to go to the bathroom or anything before bed?” I ask,
please say no, please say no
. I’m his nurse but right now I’m weak and he doesn’t play fair. I really hope he doesn’t have to get up. “No Mia, I’ll be fine, leave the door open, and yours too in case I need to yell for you.”

“Ok.” Not bothering to remind him of the words thank you, particularly as I just don’t give a shit right now, I head toward the room next to his, leaving all the doors open.

Lights have been turned on to a dim setting in
my
room. I pull back the thick, heavy comforter, kick off my shoes and sit on the edge of the bed before I notice the short lavender night gown at the end of the bed, what the hell?! Does he expect me to wear another woman’s lingerie? What an arrogant pig! Before I have a chance to get rid of it, I notice a price tag still attached to the bodice. So it’s new… holy shit, who pays that much for a damned nightgown? Evan…that’s who, but at least it’s not someone else’s. It’s better than sleeping in my jeans and sweater, or in my underwear, hell no! I don’t trust him not to come in during the night. I wonder if he is watching me on his cameras from his room. He did say there was a camera in every room- what about the bathroom?
That’s ridiculous
, I think,
he wouldn’t, would he? Yes he would.
I switch off the light and quickly shed my clothes and slip into the extremely overpriced provided nightwear and between the deliciously soft, million thread count sheets and close my eyes, when I’m suddenly reminded that I haven’t taken my sleeping pills. I seriously don’t feel like going through another night terror so I throw back the warm comforter and pad as quietly as I can to Evans door. The only light is a dim lamp on his bedside table and his eyes are closed. He’s still, just like the first time I saw him in the hospital. I tiptoe to his bedside, where I can see the pill bottle on the night table. I know what I’m doing is so wrong; you should never take other people’s medication. I also know because I’m a nurse that he takes one of the same medications that I do for sleep. It won’t put me entirely out but it’s better than nothing. I reach for the bottle and hear Evans’ deep, growly voice. “Thief.” Clutching my chest, I realize I’ve probably jumped a foot into the air!

“Shit, you scared me, I thought you were sleeping!”

“I was trying to but someone is trying to steal my pills. Lavender looks beautiful on you, I knew it would.” Eyes roaming over the thin material, he makes me squirm.

“Thank you.”

“Why do you need them?” 

“I have trouble sleeping too, nightmares.” I can’t believe I just told him that, something about him compels me to be totally honest.

“Sit, tell me, I promise to behave.” He points to the other side of the enormous bed and I walk around and sit as far away from him as I can. I feel exposed, and I’m sure that’s how he intended me to feel.  No sense tempting myself again though, my control is a thin thread straining, ready to snap concerning him. “So…why the nightmares?” He frowns at me with concern and I nervously look down at my hands in my lap.

“I… I’ve never really told anyone other than my parents and my therapist about them.” He stays still, his hands to himself, even though the magnetic attraction between us is all encompassing. I think he senses some distance is important for me right now. I close my eyes briefly and begin, “When I was 19 my friends and I got fake ID’s and went bar hopping.” He visibly tenses in anticipation of what I’m about to say, and I reconsider for a moment. Something in his eyes encourages me to go on. “I got separated from my friends, the place was so packed it wasn’t easy to stay together. I’d had way too much to drink and I wandered out a side door into the alley beside the club. That’s when they grabbed me, took me away…” I take a deep shuddering breath and he reaches out his hand and takes mine in a firm grip, I see him swallow hard.

“Kidnapped from the bar?” he clarifies.

“Yes, they picked me up and dragged me, screaming, to a van parked right there in the alley, like they had it all planned or something. I fought, but it was three to one, obviously they won.”

“Oh my god Mia…you don’t have to tell me anymore. But I need to know, were they caught, did they go to prison?” His voice has changed to icy, angry. This was a mistake, why the hell did I tell him this? He’s going to know I’m damaged goods now and he’ll never want to touch me again. Who am I kidding, thinking this beautiful man could ever want someone like me? I’ve come this far, may as well finish.

“Yes, two were caught and are still locked away, but one wasn’t home when the police raided the house and he’s still out there.” He was shaking now, the grip on my hand becoming painful, veins straining against his skin. Fuck this is bad; I need to shut up
now
.

“This happened 10 years ago?” he asks, through tightly clenched teeth.

“Well more like eleven but Evan it was a long time ago. Relax, I shouldn’t have told you, please don’t get worked up about it, it’s not good for you.” The look on his face is lethal; in fact I can’t say I’ve ever seen another human being look so angry. Sharp pain shoots up my arm. “You’re hurting my hand,” I say softly, and he loosens his grip immediately. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Mia, for what you’ve been through, for what they did. If I had 2 minutes alone with any of those men, just 2 minutes….” His jaw twitches, and I sigh. “Don’t pity me, it happened, and I can’t change it. I have issues as a result, but I really don’t want to talk about it anymore right now, it’s hard.” He takes my hand again and tugs my arm, pulling me close to him, pulling back the comforter for me to slide in next to him and I do. Relief spreads through my body; he still wants me. Tears threaten to fall but I bite my lip hard and blink them back. I rest my cheek on his chest and stretch one arm across his waist as he wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on top of my head. I inhale the familiar scent of eucalyptus and spearmint and finally relax. He hasn’t rejected me after the story of my past, thank God. After a moment he reaches to the night table for his pills and passes them to me, along with a bottle of water. I take the pill gratefully and close my eyes, feeling more safe than I have in my entire adult life nestled in his strong arms.