Daring to Dream (19 page)

I tried my best to relax but by the evening I couldn’t get comfortable on the sofa no matter how I lay so I sat on an exercise ball. I was bouncing away on it for ages and it gave me some much-needed relief. I was watching a show called
Hot Tub Britain
at the time and I was thinking ‘I’d kill to get into one of those right now’.

Before Brooke when to sleep that night I said to her: ‘If I go into labour tonight I need you to be a really good girl and help mummy and daddy out. I need you to help get Tommy ready for school and make the packed lunches.’ I just had a feeling it was going to happen really soon.

When I went to bed I put a black big liner under my bed sheet in case my waters broke, and it was just as well because when I turned over in bed about half an hour later I felt the familiar ‘whoosh’. I was too scared to get out of the bed and call to Craig in case I made a mess on the carpet, so I phoned him from my mobile and he came running upstairs in about three seconds.

Craig called his mum while I got dressed and as soon as she arrived we headed straight to the hospital. I was put on a monitor which confirmed I was contracting, and by that time the pain was really kicking in so I asked for an epidural. It was a very good move.

At about 1.30am I was lying in a bed in the delivery suite and Craig was on a recliner by the side of me. We both started to drift off to sleep but then I was woken up by Craig’s snoring. I went to sit up and I felt really strange.
Suddenly all these alarms went off and a doctor and some nurses came rushing in. They put loads of fluid into me because my blood pressure had slowed right down so I was in danger of passing out. Somehow Craig managed to sleep through the whole thing!

Six hours later nothing was happening so the doctor decided to put me on a drip to speed things up. By 9am I was fully dilated but the baby wasn’t quite where they wanted her to be so they said they’d leave me to rest for a while. Finally, just after 10am the doctor said he wanted me to start pushing. I only did five sets of three pushes before she popped out. She came into the world on 10th September at 10.41am, weighing 6lbs 10oz. Even though she was still quite light she is still my biggest baby to date.

When we saw her for the first time Craig and I both looked at each other and thought the same thing – ‘she’s got jet black hair!’ Craig was a bit shocked and I laughed and said: ‘Don’t worry, she is yours babe!’

I stayed in hospital for two nights because I hadn’t breast fed for ages and I wanted to make sure everything was going to be okay. To start with she wouldn’t latch on at all and we later discovered that she’s got tongue-tied, so she’s got to have the underneath of her tongue snipped a little bit so that it can come out properly. When I first heard that I was horrified but the doctors assured me that it’s a very normal procedure and it’s a really common thing in babies.

When we took the new arrival home Craig and I both
took to having a newborn like ducks to water and loved every minute of it, so did Brooke and Tommy. They absolutely adore her. We soon got into a good routine where I do all of the night feeds and Craig looks after her while I take naps during the day. And, of course, the kids love helping out where they can.

Name wise, I’d always really liked Madison, but Craig and I felt like Madison Pearson was a bit of a mouthful so we decided against it. I suggested Miley and Craig loved it straight away so that was an easy decision. We were going to have Faith as her second name but I thought Beau was really pretty, so we ended up having a bit of a stand off about it. Brooke and Craig both wanted Faith but in the end I decided that because I’d gone through the pain of giving birth to her I got to decide! So Beau it is.

We were inundated with presents from people and we felt so spoilt. My living room was like a branch of Interflora and Simon Cowell and his team even sent me some Stella McCartney baby clothes. She’s a very lucky little girl.

It was lovely being able to take some time out to bond with Miley but I definitely missed singing. I was almost itching to go back to work after a few weeks. I was so desperate to belt out some songs I even thought about searching out somewhere locally I could go and do karaoke! I’m so lucky because Miley can travel with me a lot when I’m working, and her and Craig and the kids will be coming on some of the tour with me which will be great fun.

Weight-wise, I didn’t put on that much during my third pregnancy and once I’d had Miley I was more inclined to get back into shape than I had before, and I still am. I guess I’ve got an agenda because I’ve got a tour to do.

When I look back now on everything that happened during and since
The X Factor
, it seems mad to think that I entered it on a whim, but I think people need to make more decisions in that way. We all worry and think about things too much and it holds us back. It’s easy to talk yourself out of things. Sometimes you have to ignore the doubts and the negative reasons for not doing something and just go for it.

I’ve learnt so much about myself over the past year. I’ve definitely learnt to appreciate my kids more; I have so much more patience with the children and Craig and I talk more than we ever have. We had so many heart-to-hearts during my time on
The X Factor
and we’re not scared of upsetting the structure of what keeps us together any more. We endured an incredibly testing time and we came out the other side happier and stronger for it.

My family are what got me through everything and the support I had was unbelievable. If it wasn’t for them I would never have been able to achieve the things I have. I feel so lucky to have such amazing people around me.

I’ve made some brilliant new friends since I was on
The X Factor
. I have to be a bit careful when I’m meeting new people now because I worry that people will want to befriend
me for the wrong reasons, but I am pretty good at spotting people who may have an agenda. Obviously it’s no secret that I’m massive Leicester City fan and Craig and I have become really pally with some of the players. Conrad Logan and his misses Vicky are going to be godparents to Miley, and we also spend a lot of time with Jamie Vardy and his girlfriend Becky and Gary Taylor-Fletcher and his wife Viv. They’re our mates now and I don’t think about them being footballers any more because we’re all so close. I’ve also got amazing fans from all over the country and beyond that have fought my corner every step of the way and I’m so grateful to them. I know people always say they wouldn’t be anything without their fans but it’s true.

I’ve been asked if I would I go back and do everything the same, all over again. My honest answer? Probably not, simply because of how hard it was being away from my family. If I could go back and do it all again knowing what I know now, then yes, I would, because I would be more prepared for it. I would know what to expect. But I wouldn’t want to go blindly into something that massive again. Anyone who wants to do something that’s life changing has to accept that it’s going to be difficult in some ways. No one ever said changing your life is easy.

The best advice I could give to anyone who was going to enter for
The X Factor
is to make sure you have people around you who will support you, and that you’re doing it for the right reasons. Also, grow another layer of skin,
because you’re going to need it. But most importantly, remember that if you don’t try, you’ll never know – and you have nothing to lose. If you want something that badly you have to go for it. Like I did, you have to dare to dream.

My dear little Miley beau, you were made with such love, you were carried with such care and you entered the world to such proud parents! Mummy, Daddy, Brooke and Tommy love you to the moon and back xx