Darcy's Temptation (32 page)

Both his cousin and Mr. Bingley spoke highly of Elizabeth Darcy, and, evidently, his sister had an admirable relationship with the woman.Yet, could she be the woman in his dreams? “What else should I know about my wife?” he asked his cousin.

“Elizabeth Bennet is a true match for you, Fitzwilliam.You met in Hertfordshire when you accompanied Mr. Bingley to his estate. By your own words, you insulted her at an assembly, and then spent the next nine months regretting your offhanded remark because Mrs. Darcy overheard you, and your words set her against you.When she refused your first proposal, you went into a tailspin of depression.”

“What do you mean—refused my first proposal?” Darcy interrupted.

The colonel chuckled. “I found you in a drunken stupor. Mrs. Darcy would not accept your advances; that should say something of her character. Even for all your fortune and all her low connections, Elizabeth Bennet refused the offer of your hand.When she finally accepted you, Fitzwilliam, it was because you won her heart, not because she accepted your wealth.”

Darcy took in the words in silence, not knowing what to think.“What is your estimation of the woman, Edward?”

“Mrs. Darcy is incomparable, Cousin. Georgiana is correct; she is the perfect fit for you. Elizabeth can tease you out of your reticence. Mrs. Darcy possesses the strength of character to do the right thing. She is witty and intelligent.”

“Of course, I would agree,” Bingley added. “Mrs. Darcy created a change in you I often saw in private moments. Although she and my Jane are as close as sisters may be, they differ in temperament. Mrs. Darcy speaks her mind, but she is not caustic or acrimonious. I witnessed her verbally battling with you on more than one occasion.You once told me those moments were when you realized you loved Mrs. Darcy. We married sisters on the same day in Meryton. We came to
Hertfordshire as close friends and became brothers in bonds of marriage.”

“Then you both approve of my choice?” Darcy asked, still a bit unconvinced at the possibilities.

“We approve, as do my parents and the Penningtons,” Edward added.“Only Lady Catherine disapproves.”

“Lady Catherine,” Darcy mused. Images of his mother's sister returned to his catalogue of recollections. “Her Ladyship always wanted me to marry my cousin Anne.”

Edward told him with a smile.“That will be my pleasure.”

“You and Anne?” Darcy asked.“When did that happen?”

“Just recently—after your marriage to Mrs. Darcy, our aunt consented, although she has displayed her discontent more than once. In fact, Lady Catherine knew of your whereabouts here, but she concealed it in hopes of running Mrs. Darcy from Pemberley.” Edward's contempt showed.

This news was more than Darcy could handle.“Gentlemen,” he stood, “I need time to think this through. I believe I will emulate my sister and retire for a few hours; this is exhausting.”

“Of course, Darcy,” Edward told him. “We will continue when you are ready.”

Darcy bowed and made his exit. At the door, he turned back toward them. “I am sorry to have been such a worry to you.” He spoke the words solemnly.Then he added, “What do I do if my memory of all this never returns?”With that said, he slipped through the open door.

Bingley and the colonel sank back into their seats in exasperation. “What will he do?” Bingley questioned.

“What will Elizabeth do is more the question,” the colonel corrected.

 

Over dinner in the same private room, Darcy continued his quest for knowledge of his life. “If I understand you, Edward,
Mr. Howard has been a competent successor to Mr.Wickham as the estate's steward.”

“Mr. Howard serves the family well,” Georgiana added softly. “He was most helpful to Elizabeth and me in your absence, Fitzwilliam.”

“What of George?” Darcy inquired as an afterthought.

Everyone else at the table froze, eating utensils suspended in midair, never completing their journey to the diner's mouth. Edward finally put down his fork and turned calmly to Darcy. “We assume you mean George Wickham.”

“Of course, George Wickham—whom did you think I meant, Edward?” Darcy answered innocently, not taking in their looks of disbelief.

“Actually, the blackguard is back in Newcastle, I suppose,” Edward began slowly. “In the past six years, George Wickham tried to blackmail you and to compromise your family name on several occasions,” Edward confided.

“George Wickham was always impetuous,” Darcy added, “but he was one of father's favorites.”

“To the extent that your father often ignored you,” Edward reminded him.

Darcy defended his father's actions. “George Wickham simply played to father's vanity.”

“Then let me summarize the highlights for you, my cousin. Mr. Wickham turned down the living at Kympton for three thousand pounds.” Edward nodded to Georgiana, and she silently agreed to his sharing her problems with George Wickham in front of Mr. Bingley. “When you refused him further funds, Mr. Wickham tried to convince our dearest charge he loved her in order to obtain control of her thirty thousand pounds.” Darcy looked shocked and dismayed. “His lies were one of the reasons Mrs. Darcy initially refused your hand; most recently he seduced your wife's youngest sister in order to escape his debts. It cost you several thousand pounds to make
an honest woman of Lydia Bennet and to save the reputations of Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Bingley, and the other two sisters. That pretty much sums up the infamous George Wickham.”

“Not quite,” Georgiana looked directly at her brother.

“There is more?” He took her hand in his.

Georgiana swallowed hard before beginning.“Most recently, Mr.Wickham showed up at Pemberley with Mrs.Wickham.”

“He did what?” the colonel fumed.“Why did you not tell me?”

“I am sorry, Edward.Things happened so quickly with the knowledge we might find Fitzwilliam that the thoughts of Mr. Wickham were far from my mind at the time.”

“What happened?” he demanded.

“Lydia Wickham showed up unexpectedly and presented herself to Kitty. Kitty knew Elizabeth would be upset so she went to find her sister; Kitty did not know Mr.Wickham came with Lydia. I found him in Fitzwilliam's study; I attempted to face down my fears by confronting the man and demanding he leave Pemberley at once. He refused, and my resolve began to crumble, but Elizabeth appeared. She helped me to the side, and then she, too, asked Mr.Wickham to leave. She would not let Mr. Wickham insinuate himself back into the running of Pemberley. Mr. Wickham tried to laugh off Elizabeth's objections so she took out the gun Fitzwilliam bought her; it rested in the top drawer of the desk.”

“I bought Elizabeth a gun?” Darcy seemed surprised, but also a bit amused.

Georgiana laughed. “One of her wedding presents—anyway, Mr.Wickham in desperation grabbed my arm. I foolishly screamed, and Elizabeth fired, grazing Mr.Wickham's shoulder. The bullet is still embedded in the wall beside the bookcase,” she teased. “Then Mr. Harrison entered the room and physically removed Mr.Wickham from the estate.”

“Thank God Harrison was there.” Bingley sounded amazed.

“Actually, Elizabeth took control. Besides protecting me from Mr. Wickham, she made sure Mr. and Mrs. Wickham were sent back to Newcastle. Then, Mr. Harrison and I rode out to inspect the lands along with Mr. Howard, letting the tenants know even in Fitzwilliam's absence, the Darcy family would still take care of Pemberley. Elizabeth reasoned even though she and I tended to Fitzwilliam's duties, seeing a male, other than Mr. Howard—another landed gentleman—with us in completing our duties to the estate would paint the picture of stability to the tenants,” Georgiana explained.

Darcy took in all this information with interest. Evidently, the woman he chose to be his wife possessed some tenacious-ness. If what Edward said about George Wickham were true, then Elizabeth's protection of his sister's innocence spoke well of her. Plus, her intuition about the tenant's conventional need to have a male in charge proved an insightful maneuver.Yet, her low connections meant a loss of standing in the
ton
, and Darcy knew name and reputation meant more than common sense in a woman.

Another thought crossed his mind. “Who is this Mr. Harrison, and who is Kitty?”

“Kitty is one of our wives' sisters.” Bingley was quiet to this point. “She stays at Pemberley to help with Mrs. Darcy's confinement.”

“Mr. Harrison is a young man, very much like you once were,” Edward pointed out, “who recently took over his father's estate of Hines Park in Dove Dale, close to my parents; he was a guest at Pemberley during the Festive Season.” Edward thankfully omitted his knowledge of Harrison's interest in Georgiana Darcy. He also omitted Harrison's connection to the emancipation issues, Darcy's reason for going to Hull in the first place.

 

Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam sat up half the night with the
colonel “reminding” Darcy of many details of family business, which could not be discussed with either Georgiana or Mr. Bingley present. Although he had no direct memory of the occurrences, Darcy, at least, now possessed knowledge of the events and the people involved.

“My biggest concern,” Darcy added,“is what do I do about my marriage?”

“I do not understand,” Colonel Fitzwilliam commented.

“My father once told me to marry well—to remember my family's name,” Darcy reasoned. “Obviously, I failed him in that respect.”

“Darcy, you cannot assume your marriage is not a sound one.You may have additional memory recovery once you are home at Pemberley with Elizabeth. I realize Mrs. Darcy was not part of society as you know it, but you never seemed so content as you did these last six months. Fitz, your parents wanted you to be happy; Mrs. Darcy brought out a different side of you.” The colonel did not know what to say to his cousin. For Darcy to return to Pemberley to a woman he could not remember offered him a bizarre life, and Edward knew not how to counsel him.

“What if I cannot learn to love her again?” Darcy's words brought the situation home to both of them.

“Many men do not love their wives,” Edward stated simply, “but they live comfortable lives.You learned to love Elizabeth once; why could you not do so again?”

“Of course, that is a possibility,” Darcy reasoned. “I am only being overcautious.” Darcy tried to convince himself of his future.

 

So it was when Fitzwilliam Darcy crawled into the coach bedecked with the Darcy livery the next morning to return to Pemberley and Derbyshire, he lived in two worlds: the world of which he had memories—those of Pemberley and his father's
death, and the world his relatives described to him—but of which he held no recollection. Darcy seemed confident on the surface, a role he learned to play early in his life, but beneath the surface, he feared he would never remember the years missing at the moment. How would he function with all the holes in his instincts, his experiences, and his past?

 

“I wish we had time to send a message to Elizabeth before our arrival,” Georgiana said softly. She did not know how they would explain to her beloved sister Fitzwilliam no longer held a memory of their time together.

“I cannot imagine the shock this will bring to Mrs. Darcy,” Bingley added. “I have no way of explaining it all to myself as well as my dear Jane and her sister. How can Darcy and I no longer have a friendship? He is my closest friend.”

Georgiana and Bingley sat side by side in the coach. They watched as both Darcy and the colonel snoozed with the rhythm of the journey. “Elizabeth will be devastated; she prayed for Fitzwilliam's return. What of their marriage? Of their baby?” Tears began to slip down her cheeks, and Georgiana turned away to hide her distress.

Bingley sheepishly handed her his handkerchief, and Georgiana offered him a smile of gratitude.“To whom do I turn for help with Netherfield? Do I stay at Pemberley when your brother knows me not? I do not know what my family and I should do. How may I leave—how may I get Mrs. Bingley to leave her sister at Pemberley with no resolution?” Bingley shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Georgiana touched his arm lightly for reassurance. “How will Fitzwilliam greet Elizabeth? Truthfully, Mr. Bingley, I cannot predict my brother at this time. When I think about how he was when our father died—when all of the responsibility became his, I fear for the Pemberley I have enjoyed the last year.” She looked around nervously and lowered her voice
before finishing her thoughts. “Although Fitzwilliam always found time for me in those days, I do not want to return to that time. My brother took life too seriously then; I would miss what Elizabeth gives me.”They rode in silence after that, lost in their thoughts of how Fitzwilliam Darcy would change life at Pemberley. Dread rode with them, as did empathy.

 

At a small, unfamiliar inn, they spent another night on the road. Caught in a cold, drenching rain, the travelers decided reluctantly to delay their return to Pemberley one more day. They might press on and stay with the Penningtons again, but the colonel reasoned that with Darcy's current condition, a limit must be maintained on how much he might be subjected to from those to whom his memories were combined.

 

Darcy tapped lightly on his sister's door. “Georgiana, may I come in?”

After a few brief but tense moments, she opened the door to him. Dropping her eyes in submission, she said, “Good evening, Fitzwilliam.”

“I hoped we would have the opportunity to speak privately.” His voice held a confidence he did not truly feel.

“Of course,” she stammered. Stepping away from the door, she led her brother to a chair in the chamber.