Dangerous to Know & Love (17 page)

“Sorry, it’s just intimidating.”

“What is?”

“All the girls you’ve slept with. It makes me feel…” she hesitated, fishing to find the right words to express how desperately inexperienced and inadequate she felt.

“What does it make you feel?”

Lisanne ran through a list of words in her mind: pathetic, uptight,
a virgin
.

“What does it make you feel, Lis? Because it’s all bullshit. You… me… it’s just
different
, and…yesterday, when you said about my
reputation
…”

Suddenly, Lisanne had a light bulb moment – she understood. “Oh! I hurt your feelings yesterday?”

He shrugged one shoulder.

“Daniel, I’m so sorry.”

He looked down at her bedspread. “I like you.”

“You do?”

He groaned with frustration and irritation.

“Of course I fucking do! I’m here, aren’t I?”

That was all Lisanne wanted to know.

Taking a deep breath, she uncrossed her legs and crawled up the bed. Halting in front of him, she brushed her lips against his.

His eyelids fluttered closed and he sighed softly.

Encouraged, she knelt across him and bent down, placing another gentle kiss on his lips.

Daniel slipped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck, humming quietly. Then he pulled her down so she was lying across his chest. He ran his hands downwards, stopping just below the small of her back, placing soft kisses on her throat.

He let his head fall back to the pillow, and tucked her into his side for a cozy hug, one hand softly stroking her hair, occasionally turning so he could brush his lips over her temple.

Lisanne was bitterly disappointed. Where were the burning touches she’d experienced from him yesterday? Where was the dark fire in his eyes? Was this it? Were they just friends after all? What did ‘like’ mean anyway?

He was being gentle with her but Lisanne didn’t want gentle. She wanted
him
. All of him. And she wanted to know once and for all if he wanted her.

She hooked her thigh over his hip, pushing herself into him so her leg was almost wrapped around his waist.

Daniel paused in his tender kisses and looked up at her.

“Lis?”

She didn’t answer, but nervously slid her fingers under his t-shirt. He blinked in surprise, then his eyes fluttered closed as she ran her hands over his stomach and chest, tugging gently on his nipple rings. She could feel he was hardening beneath her. It was thrilling.

But then he grabbed her wrists and pushed her back slightly, sitting up so he could see her face.

“What are you doing, Lis?”

“Just… you know.”

“Baby doll…”

“I
want
to, Daniel.
I
want to. Please.”

He groaned and closed his eyes.

She didn’t wait for him to speak, but pressed her lips hard against his, waiting for his mouth to open. When it did, she could taste beer and nicotine, but it was still the best feeling. She pushed her tongue into his mouth, hoping that enthusiasm would make up for what she lacked in technique.

His grip on her wrists lessened, and then his hands brushed up her arms and into her hair.

Gently, but with building passion, he stroked his tongue against hers, controlling the moment, showing her how sensual it could be, taking it slowly. His lips were soft and warm, and she could feel the prickle of his stubble against her skin.

Lisanne’s body throbbed with pleasure. She had no idea kissing a guy could make her feel so much. She was overflowing with sensations and emotions, as if her skin would split open, unable to contain everything she felt, her lungs too big for her body.

Daniel rolled onto his back, taking her with him so she was lying across his body. His hands sculpted her waist, massaging her hips with his fingers.

Then he cupped her ass and pulled her tightly against him. His erection was hard against the fabric of his jeans.

“You sure, baby doll?” he whispered.

Lisanne’s brain was deliciously disconnected from the parts that moved, and she hesitated. Daniel pushed her back a few inches so he could read her face.

“Hey,” he said, softly. “It’s okay. You’re not ready.”

“I am!” she snapped, slapping the pillow next to his head in frustration. “I am
so
ready it’s giving me a headache! Just
do it
already!”

He blinked at her.

“I’m just… I’m just
nervous
, okay!”

By now she was yelling.

Daniel was trying to hold back a smile and not doing a very good job of it.

“Um, Lis, you don’t have to yell at me or beat me up.”

She frowned. “Are you laughing at me?”

“Kinda, I mean, it’s pretty damn funny, you yelling at me that you want sex and you want it now.”

“I’m not yelling!” she yelled.

“Yes, you are.”

“How do you know?” she said, allowing the volume to drop by a couple of decibels.

“Because your face is all scrunched up,” he said, with a grin. “It’s cute.”

“Oh!” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper as her skin heated to the point where the room ought to have caught fire.

She flopped onto her back, cursing the genes that made her whole body blush with embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m sorry, okay,” he said, sitting up and looking down at her.

Lisanne pulled the pillow over her face and groaned with defeat and dissatisfaction. She felt Daniel tugging at the pillow, and she allowed him pull it from her. She knew how much he hated it when he couldn’t see her face.

“I’m sorry, baby. Lis… I’m flattered, you know, that you want me to be your first. I just… I don’t want it to be something you’ll regret. I don’t want you to regret
me
.”

She heard the anxiety in his voice and opened her eyes.

“I wouldn’t. I won’t.”

He rubbed his face.

“Shit, you’re making this hard.”

“Am I making
you
hard?”

Her voice came out in a sultry, slutty purr that bore no resemblance to her usual voice whatsoever. It was like having an out-of-body experience, watching some vixen trying to seduce him. She had
no idea
where those words had come from.

Daniel raised his eyebrows, and a slow grin stretched across his face.

“I can’t believe you said that, Lis. Should I be scared?”

“Yes,” she said, in a low voice.

The grin dropped from his face, and he looked so surprised that Lisanne almost laughed.

For a moment she thought she was going to get her way after all, but after taking a deep breath, he swung his legs off of the bed and stood up.

“What?” Lisanne was startled. “Where are you going?”

“Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. “Let’s get out of here, because if we stay, I’m gonna end up fucking you every which way.”

Why did his dirty words sound so erotic?

“Would that be a bad thing?” she said, in a small voice.

“No,” he said, sighing and rubbing his face again. “But right now I want to take my girl out.  Besides, I could do with a shower and a shave, and a night sleeping in a comfortable bed.”

Something fluttered in Lisanne’s chest, and she only heard the first of the two sentences.

“Your girl?”

He frowned.

“What? Yeah, if you want.”

Lisanne remembered Kirsty’s words, as she stared at him doubtfully.

“So, is this like a date?”

“Um, yeah?”

He didn’t sound sure, and Lisanne’s fluttering heart stuttered softly to a halt.

“Are you sleeping with anyone else?” she said, needing to know despite herself.

When she saw the look on his face, she could have willingly yanked out her own tongue and used it for fish food.

“What the fuck, Lis? You really think I’m that big of a jerk!”

His eyes were dark with anger and hurt.

She’d done it again.

“Daniel, I’m sorry! I just… shit, can we just erase the last two minutes? Please?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and glowered at her.

“No,” he snarled. “I’m not sleeping with anyone. I’m not fucking anyone. At all.”

She cringed at his tone and his words. From somewhere inside, she called on the strength to be honest – to say it straight.

“I just… I just don’t think I could share you,” she sniffed, her eyes filling with tears.

His face softened at once, and he pulled her toward him.

“Sorry, baby,” he breathed into her hair. “I’m shit at this whole boyfriend thing. Fuck, can we get out of here? I need a smoke.”

Lisanne gave a wobbly smile, and forced back the tears that were still threatening.

“Where do you want to go?”

He shrugged.

“Anywhere you like? You wanna get something to eat? I’m starving. The food in jail sucked ass.”

“Um, well,” said Lisanne, hesitantly, “Kirsty was meeting Vin and some of his friends: we could meet up with them if you like?”

Daniel looked down and frowned.

“I don’t think so, Lis. Groups are really hard for me. I… I can’t join in conversations that easily.”

“Just try it,” she said, encouragingly.

“No, really. It’s too hard. I mean, it’s bad enough with just one person. I have to guess half the time. I mean, understanding what someone is saying is only 40% about the lip reading – the rest is body language and context. Sometimes it can be a goddamn nightmare.”

“But I thought… I mean, you do it so well.”

“Because I don’t want… I don’t want anyone to know. But seriously, Lis, have you any idea how easy it is to mix up ‘where there’s life, there’s hope’, with ‘where’s the lavender soap’?”

Lisanne wasn’t sure whether or not it would be appropriate to giggle. She stood there with her face frozen.

“And ‘elephant shoes’ looks like ‘I love you’, which could be really fucking embarrassing. And people get freaked out when I stare at their faces all the time. I mean, I can read you because I’ve gotten to know you pretty well, but new people… and anyone with a strong accent – I’m totally screwed.”

Lisanne realized that Daniel was starting to sound slightly panicky. It was upsetting to see him anxious when he was usually so in control.

She laid her hand on his cheek to calm him

“They’ve gone to that new Mexican restaurant. There won’t be that many of them. If you don’t like it, we’ll just stay for one drink and go.”

Daniel took a deep breath, purposefully trying to slow his racing heart.

“No way anyone will believe you’re 21 even with fake ID,” he said, shifting uncomfortably, playing for time.

“Probably not,” she said with a smirk, “but they serve
virgin
cocktails.”

He grinned at her, and she saw his body relax a little.

“Yeah?”

“Besides,” she said, continuing to stroke his face, “we can always ignore everyone and just make out.”

Suddenly, he grabbed Lisanne by her hips and pushed her up against the door so her head thudded softly against the wood.

And then he kissed her until she thought she was going to pass out.

“W-what was that for?” she gasped.

“Just ‘cause,” Daniel replied, equally breathlessly.

Chapter 8

Daniel pulled up outside the Mexican restaurant, staring through the window at the bright room and people beyond the plate glass. But he didn’t cut the engine. From the soles of his boots to the roots of his hair, his whole body was urging him to get the hell out of there. His heart was thundering so hard, it was nearly pounding out of his chest.

He’d spent the last three years avoiding
exactly
this sort of situation. It was different with Roy and the guys. They’d all been around as he’d started to lose his hearing. They knew his limitations and how to adjust their behavior around him. But here, none of them knew. Which was just how he’d set it up – except he’d never intended to spend much time mixing with other students from school. It was tiring enough just going to lectures and lip reading that shit for nearly an hour at a time. He hadn’t even told Lisanne that he was so fucked by the end of a school day that he mostly just went home and slept.

Now she was asking him to break all his carefully constructed rules. He was out of his depth – and he was fucking terrified.

He felt her small hand rub his arm, soothing him, as if she understood how he felt. Slowly, he pulled off his helmet so he could speak to her.

“I don’t think this is such a good idea, Lis.”

She scrambled off the bike and pulled his face around, so he had to look at her.

“Five minutes,” she said. “And if you want to go, just say, ‘elephant shoes’.”

He snorted in amusement. “‘Elephant shoes’, huh?”

She nodded and gave him a small smile.

He pulled out a smoke and lit it hurriedly, inhaling deeply, trying to calm himself the fuck down. Then he tossed it to the sidewalk and took a deep breath.

“Fuck it,” he said. “Let’s do it.”

The restaurant wasn’t crowded, and perhaps only half the tables were being used.

The hostess walked over briskly, a hungry expression on her face that Lisanne had come to recognize all too well when women looked at Daniel. At her
boyfriend.

“Table for two?” asked the woman, checking him out as she spoke.

“No, that’s okay, thanks,” answered Lisanne. “We’ll be joining our friends.”

Her head turned as she heard Kirsty’s laugh right across the room. She was with a group of five people sitting around a circular table.

Lisanne took Daniel’s hand, looking up at him and smiling. His face looked rather tense, his jaw clenched tightly, but he tried to smile at her.

“Okay?” she said, softly. “Five minutes – that’s all.”

He nodded stiffly, then followed her across the restaurant.

“Hi!” said Lisanne brightly, inwardly cringing at the way her nerves made her sound like a game show contestant.

Kirsty’s jaw dropped in surprise, but she recovered quickly.

“Yay! You came! Everyone – this is my roommate Lisanne. And this is her… this is Daniel.”

Lisanne was relieved to see that Shawna wasn’t there. As Kirsty had said, it was all Vin’s friends.