Authors: Jennifer Browning
“And then I grew up, you should try it sometime.”
“No way.
If you recall, I tried that and it didn’t work out so well for me. You are so much better at being the grownup than I am. And since you’ve volunteered for the job, maybe Jessica doesn’t need me at all.”
David knew that Noah wasn’t as vicious as he sounded right now. He could be a jerk, but deep down David believed that Noah wouldn’t intentionally
hurt anyone. He softened a bit now, realizing that being pushed out of being a father was as painful for Noah as it was for him to assume the role.
“She’s always going to need you. She just needs you to …”
“Be something that I’m not.” Noah finished David’s sentence.
“No, just be a better you.”
“I can’t. I’m not you. I’m never going to be the perfect brother. My grades always sucked and trouble just follows me wherever I go.
I am man enough to admit that you are a better man. What she needs
is
you.”
David didn’t understand how what started out as being a confrontation over
Noah staying out all night turned into this conversation. “She needs us both and probably Holly too. You really need to try to get
ahold
of her again. This is just messed up, her leaving like this. You guys can get your crap together. I’m always going to be here for you and for Jessica… Holly too; but you guys just aren’t even trying.”
“Whatever.”
“Whatever?”
“Yeah, whatever.
Just leave me alone right now.”
Noah went inside the ho
use and David didn’t see
him at all again that weekend. Who knew where he went, if he was crashing at some girl’s house, but he couldn’t be reasoned with right now and David had a daughter to raise.
Jessica made it really hard for David to be in a bad mood. In spite of her occasional temper tantrums when she was tired, Jessica was just the sweetest kid ever made. She always wanted to help him look for a job in the paper. He let her have a different section of the classifieds and she studiously circled
ads like she’d seen him do.
When he woke up in a funk, she would get a hairbrush out of the bathroom and start
belting out a song she made up until he laughed.
He started looking forward to Andy’s visits and running into her around town. The tip about the mall in Greenville was a godsend because he basically took Jessica around
to
all the stores and started filling out job applications. She was anxious to suggest that he apply at the colorful store that sold candy and stuffed animals and David obliged. He’d be willing to take just about anything.
With his grandmother’s help, they were able to get into a routine and life started looking up for once. On a beautiful day in June, he went out for a jog down Main Street. They’d been there for weeks and he’d never properly gotten the lay of the land. He was happy to find a real gym in town with a fair amount of free weights and a variety of machines. They were much older than at the gym in California, but it was something.
The owner was a burly man with an excessive amount of back hair, but a friendly enough guy
named Tony
.
While he “toured” the large single room facility, he noticed a woman dancing in the mirror. The gym was directly across from a dance studio and Andy was inside alone dancing.
Her hair was
up
, but some of the hair had escaped and danced around her face while she
moved to music he couldn’t hear.
He was staring and the gym owner noticed.
Tony
said in a thick New York accent “My wife owns that studio across the street.”
“Oh” David said, not taking his eyes off Andy.
“I hear you
’ve
got a little girl, she might like to take some lessons over there. Celia’s real good with the kids. Andy used to be one of her students.”
“It’s beautiful”
David
said absent-mindedly.
“Yeah” he agreed “I couldn’t do
nothing
like that, but it sure is nice to watch. It’s what made me fall in love with her.”
David didn’t respond. Something inside him shifted a little bit. He hadn’t ever really thought that Andy was a one dimensional girl, but she never mentioned dancing. He wondered suddenly if he was intruding on a private moment and look
ed
back toward the gym owner who was standing there, hands on his hips, smiling at him.
Boisterously, he lifted one hand and slapped it down on David’s shoulder. “I’m sure we could work out a package
deal
for you and your daughter.”
David was startled from his reverie. “I’ll have to think about it and get back to you.”
“Alright.”
Said Tony “I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.”
“How did you know I have a daughter?” David wanted to know
“It’s a small town, Mr. Bastion. Everybody knows everything.
Can’t keep a secret here to save your life.”
“
Heh
.”
David chuckled dryly, hoping it wasn’t true.
“
Here.
” Tony said handing David two pieces of paper “The gym contract and dance class schedule.”
David thanked him befor
e resuming his jog. His muscles had tightened while
he stood checking out the gym, but the stop was definitely worth it.
He decided that it wouldn’t hurt to get to know Andy a little better. She would be leaving in the
Fall
, so there was no
risk of getting involved in a tricky relationship. She probably thought of him as an old
man
anyway.
He began noticing
new
things about her
after that day
. The way her hair was brown in some light and almost blonde in the sun. The way her eyes went from
dark blue
to deep gray.
He knew that on her visits at his grandma’s house, he w
anted to see her smile, which she did often.
He made sure
his work schedule had Saturday
s off and he began to spend a little more time shaving on those days, spent a little longer lingering in the kitchen
.
His grandmother noticed, but was too polite to say anything. David was grateful for that.
If he hadn’t been pretending to love the dishes the girls made for Jessica’s sake already, he would have done it for Andy. She made him enjoy just sitting and talking again – at least as much as they could do with a princess always dancing and singing nearby.
By the time July rolled around, David knew he had to tell her how he felt. She would be leaving and she might reject him outright, but he had to say something. The 4
th
of July picnic at her house seemed perfect. It would be a social occasion, his grandmother could watch Jessica
a
nd under the cover of darkness he might not lose his courage.
After his spat with Noah, they hadn’t talked much. David knew his brother had some stuff going on in his head that he didn’t want to talk about and they weren’t the kind of brothers that talked much about their feelings anyway. David kne
w that when it
really mattered
Noah was there – well, most of the time.
Noah was home that morning when Jessica was helping their grandmother finish another peach cobbler to take to the party. The smell of warm peaches filled the house and wafted halfway across the lawn, promising to melt on the tongue with natural sweetness.
Jessica was full of questions and excitement about fireworks when Noah sauntered into the kitchen and plopped down in a chair at the round table drawing a raised eyebrow from Mrs. Merchant.
“Are there going to be pink ones?” Jessica wanted to know.
“Maybe” David offered
“What about purple ones?”
“I don’t know
,
we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Jessica looked unsatisfied with the answer. “Noah, do you know what color the fire
mirks
are going to be?”
“
Fire
works
”
David corrected.
“That’s what I said.” She put her hands on her hips.
Noah cracked open a soda can before answering “I’ll bet they will have every color in the rainbow.”
“Really?”
“Maybe there will even be a light show with princesses and dragons and knights.” He stood up and mimed each of the characters to Jessica’s delight.
Jessica looked like her head would explode with the possibility. Unfortunately, David knew that Noah was setting her up for disappointment
. H
e would not be around when Jessica crashed from
too much
excitement, sugar and staying up too late and
when she
had a complete melt down because the fireworks were just pla
i
n and white.
He tried to head off the inevitable let down “I think that might be a little fancier than we’re going to see here. They probably don’t have a big fireworks budget.”
“What’s a budget?”
“Why don’t we go watch fireworks in Greenville then?” Noah interrupted.
“Because we’ve been invited to a party here.”
“We have?”
“Well,
we
have.” David motioned to the others in the room and himself.
“Are you saying that I’m not invited to…
where’s
the party?”
“Andy’s house.
And I don’t know if you’ve been invited or not, but that’s where we’re going.”
“Oh, I see. Well that sounds like fun. Grandma, do you have Andy’s number? I think I’ll call and find out if I’m invited.”
David bristled at the idea.
“
Yay
!” cheered
Jessica “
It’s going to be so much fun!”
To prove her point, she began dancing around the house imitating the sound of fireworks.
David didn’t see Noah again that day and began to think Noah was just bluffing about coming to the party which put his mind more at ease. Getting ready, he considered what
he would say to Andy.
“I like you.”
seemed
too juvenile.
When nothing sounded right, he
decided to play it by ear.