Authors: Tracy Goodwin
“Right away, Your Grace.”
Gwen wrapped her arm around Victoria’s shoulder then leaned into her, lowering her voice to a whisper as they ascended the main staircase. “Just because I didn’t argue with you in front of Mary doesn’t mean that you’re out of the woods. You were wrong to run away.”
“Don’t tell me you’re siding with my brother!”
“I’m not siding with anyone, Victoria,” Gwen affirmed as they reached her old bedroom door. She noted how many things had changed since she last left this room, how many truths had imploded before her very eyes.
Upon opening the door, Gwen motioned her sister-in-law to a chair near the roaring fire. She then removed a quilt from her bed, wrapping it around Victoria’s shoulders.
“You poor dear,” she lamented as she rubbed Victoria’s arms through the feathery quilt. “You’ll warm up soon. After you finish your bath, we’ll get you into some warm nightclothes and you can crawl under the covers and get some sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep.” Tori’s dejected tone told Gwen she hadn’t yet gotten through to her.
Gwen rubbed the young woman’s back. “You can’t run away from your home and your brother because of me.”
“I heard your argument, Gwen. He hurt you.” Tori glanced at Gwen, her expression unyielding.
“Husbands and wives argue, Tori. It is a part of life, of marriage.” Gwen knelt in front of her sister-in-law, adjusting the quilt. “You were never meant to hear us.”
Tears began to trickle from Victoria’s eyes and down her cheeks. “I did, though. I can’t simply forget what I heard or pretend I didn’t hear it.”
Victoria was right, Gwen realized. Too much pretending had already occurred. Too many secrets and lies had unraveled. It was wrong to expect Victoria to play a part in the charade.
The young woman had heard a terrible argument between her brother and his wife. Victoria had learned that her brother wasn’t perfect. Gwen knew what it was like to be disappointed in someone you love and her chest constricted with the knowledge she was, in part, responsible for her
sister-in-law’s grief. She never considered that Victoria would overhear their quarrel. Righting the rift between Sebastian and his sister was of the utmost concern to Gwen.
“Victoria, I understand more than anyone what it is like to realize that someone you love isn’t perfect.” Gwen struggled for her voice to sound devoid of censure. “You are too quick to blame your brother.”
Mary cleared her throat in the doorway. “Pardon me, Your Grace, I’m here to draw Lady Victoria’s bath.”
Molly bounded into the room and stood on her hind legs, leaning against Victoria’s lap.
“I see you brought a visitor.” Gwen grinned as she watched Molly lick Tori’s hand while the young woman tried to scratch the canine’s chin. It wasn’t an easy feat, as the rambunctious puppy wouldn’t stand still, and Gwen found herself wondering who was happier to see the other.
With her sister-in-law preoccupied, Gwen walked over to the familiar servant with a heart of gold. “Mary, has Norris returned from the barn?”
“Yes, Your Grace. He’s in the kitchen.”
Gwen motioned to Victoria. “Please tend to my sister-in-law while I ask him to deliver a note to my husband.”
“Of, course.”
Mary opened her mouth to say more then closed it, as if she thought better of voicing her thoughts aloud. Although the action was subtle, it drew Gwen’s notice. “Was there something you wanted to tell me, Mary?”
The woman’s cap bounced as she nodded her head. “Yes, but it isn’t my place, Your Grace.”
“For heaven’s sake, Mary,” Gwen assured the kind woman. “You and I have never practiced such formalities.”
Mary voice was a ragged whisper. “Before he left, your father bragged about what he did to you.”
Gwen’s heart raced. “He did?”
“Yes, the fact that he hurt you. I’m sorry, Your Grace. You deserved better from him.”
“The apology isn’t yours to make, Mary, but thank you for your kindness.” Gwen squeezed the pale woman’s hand. “I must find Norris now.”
Gwen raced down the main staircase. She found her butler in the kitchen sipping a hot beverage, steam still rising from the cup.
“Norris, I am so sorry to send you back out but I need you to deliver a note to my husband. Would you be so kind?”
The old man jumped to attention. “Yes, Your Grace. Anything.”
She nodded her appreciation. “You shall take the carriage as I would never forgive myself if you caught a death of a cold because of this.”
His gray eyebrows snapped together. “I can ride there on my own, your Grace.”
“I know you can, Norris;” Gwen’s tone was reassuring, “however, I will not hear of it. You shall travel in my carriage.”
“As you wish.” His perfect posture was more pronounced, his chest puffed with pride.
“I’ll return in a short while with the missive.” Gwen exited the kitchen and walked into her
father’s study in search of paper and a quill. She could have written the note upstairs; however, she didn’t want Victoria to quarrel with her. There was no way Gwen would allow Sebastian to worry about his sister one moment longer.
Gwen shivered upon entering the room. True there wasn’t a fire alight, but there was more to the chill than the temperature. Lachlan MacAlistair’s manipulative presence hung heavy in the room. His icy being tainted every inch of his office.
Glad that she had grabbed a gas lamp along the way, Gwen proceeded to her father’s desk noting the many papers strewn about and drawers that were left open.
“He certainly left a mess,” she whispered aloud, her conscience silently adding
in more ways than one
as she placed the lamp upon the cluttered desk. She then sifted through the pages littering the desktop, finding nothing but old letters from business acquaintances and notes scribbled about Ainsley estate management in which her father had never taken an interest.
After a great deal of searching, Gwen found a blank sheet of paper. She reached for the quill and dipped it into the ink blotter.
Sebastian
, her hand stopped moving. She held the quill in mid air, not knowing what else to write. So many thoughts raced through her mind.
Your sister hates you because of me
.
Your life has been turned upside down because you chose to marry me
.
My family’s secrets haunt both of us
.
Instead of returning the quill to the paper, Gwen
reached for the pins that held her hair and removed them, shaking her tresses free.
A memory seized her from the day following her wedding. Sebastian had unpinned her hair before he made love to her. He seemed to revel in it, his fingers combing through her curls as he devoured her with his mouth, his tongue then his shaft. Her feminine core throbbed from the mere memory.
She stared at the blank page.
I want you to make love to me again
. It was true, but she couldn’t write it. She wasn’t even certain she could speak such a thing.
Her father had wreaked such havoc, fracturing the family she dearly loved. Colin was alone she presumed; only God knew where. As if that weren’t bad enough, Lachlan’s revelations now threatened to destroy Sebastian’s tight-knit family as well.
As Gwen glanced about the room, her body absorbed the coldness within. Instead of hollowing her heart, the chill increased her resolve.
“I will not allow you to destroy anyone else, Lachlan,” she muttered into the hollow room.
Gwen again noted her change in speech. She no longer referred to her father as “Papa” as was appropriate for gentile ladies and gentlemen. She didn’t even chose the term “Father” that was considered disrespectful in polite society. Instead, she chose his given name as a deliberate sign of further disrespect.
Not even Tristan and Colin had gone so far, choosing instead to refer to him as “Father.” Gwen realized that her brothers never respected the man
who sired them, but he hadn’t bred Colin, had he? Her heart ached for her eldest brother who felt he had to flee as opposed to confiding in his younger siblings. Colin must have felt so alone.
Birth united Gwen with Tristan. It must have been very hard for Colin, to have no one to unburden his heart to, especially when his youngest siblings always had each other.
Gwen wouldn’t rest until she found him. It mattered not whose blood coursed through his veins. Colin was her brother and always would be.
It is the same with Sebastian and his sister
.
The more she contemplated Victoria’s anger towards Sebastian, Gwen understood at last that the young woman was innocent, vulnerable, and in pain. Though Victoria always seemed so composed and confident, it was easy to forget her inexperience. She had overheard something she shouldn’t have – an impassioned fight between her brother and his wife – one that she didn’t understand, causing her to believe that her brother wasn’t the man that she thought him to be.
Too many illusions had been shattered in the wake of her father’s admissions, Gwen noted with disgust as her gaze moved toward the floor, where a miniature portrait lay. She bent, picking up the resemblance of her mother, tracing the woman’s face with her thumb.
If you loved us, why would you leave those journals behind?
A chill crept into her heart. Did her mother want them to know the truth? Perhaps she wanted her children to know that her husband wasn’t her great
love. Was it a final act of revenge against her unfaithful husband?
I’ll be damned if Tori’s view of her brother is damaged like my view of you
.
Gwen tossed the portrait into a desk drawer then slammed it shut before picking up the quill again. Her words now flowed forth with little effort.
Sebastian,
Victoria is fine, thank God. She walked all the way to Ainsley and is chilled. I don’t think traveling would be best for her tonight and have decided she should stay in my old room, as a fire is already roaring and Mary has drawn a bath for her
.
Join us if you’d like although the rest of the manor is not as comfortable since Mary and Norris are the only remaining servants and visitors were not expected
.
If we do not see you tonight, Victoria and I will see you when we return to Kellington Manor tomorrow morning
.
Gwen
She exited her father’s office and found Norris waiting for her in the foyer. Handing him her missive, she instructed, “If my husband isn’t at the main house, hand this to his butler. His name is Winston; ask him to fetch His Grace immediately.”
“Of course, Your Grace.”
Norris took his leave and Gwen raced upstairs to find Mary tucking Victoria underneath the covers. There was no sign of her dog.
“Where’s Molly?”
“In the kitchen,” Victoria’s voice was hoarse. “Norris gave her some broth while I bathed.”
“Bless his heart. Your husband is a Godsend, Mary.” Gwen said with a serene smile.
“Thank you, Your Grace, I agree.” Mary began to walk toward the door then stopped. “I will send Molly up when she’s done eating if you approve.”
Gwen sat on the bed next to her sister-in-law. “Yes, thank you, Mary. You have been so kind to us tonight.”
Mary curtsied, a slight smile tugging at her thin lips, “Anything for you.” The kind woman curtsied before quietly closing the door behind her.
Gwen noted how different her room now felt. It looked the same but yet it was different. It no longer belonged to her.
She studied Victoria. Her freshly scrubbed face shone while a few tears, Gwen noted with a pang of sadness, still clung to her eyelashes.
“Are you feeling any better?”
Victoria nodded but didn’t speak.
Gwen could tell that her sister-in-law was trying very hard to keep her composure. She glanced about the room and noticed a tea tray resting upon the table near the fireplace. “How about a cup of tea?”
Tori shrugged.
Although the response was underwhelming, Gwen pounced upon it. She crossed the small room and poured tea into one of the small porcelain cups then carried it over to her sister-in-law who was fluffing the pillows against the headboard.
“I know you don’t wish to talk right now, but we must.” Gwen handed the cup and saucer to the young woman.
“Why?”
“Because I will not have you thinking poorly of your brother because of me, Victoria,” Gwen said in a tone that was gentle yet laced with determination.
“Are you angry at me?” the young woman asked, her tone overwrought.
“No, however I am saddened that you ran away from your brother tonight.” Gwen paused before continuing. “Did you not think Sebastian would be distraught?”
Tori grimaced. “I hoped he would be.”
“But why?” Gwen sat beside the young woman, her hand resting on Victoria’s knee. “Your brother has been nothing but good to you. What’s happening between me and Sebastian has nothing to do with you, Victoria.”
Victoria’s voice was shaky. “If you leave, it does.”
“What makes you think I’m going anywhere?” Gwen brushed Victoria’s hair from her eyes.
“You left this morning without a word to either of us.” Victoria rubbed her swollen eyes.
Guilt consumed Gwen. She had felt close to Victoria from her first visit the day following the Stocktons’ ball. Since then, they had become sisters, just as close to one another as if they were related by blood.
She loved Victoria and was sickened to know she had inadvertently hurt the young woman. Clasping Victoria’s hand, Gwen attempted to infuse
strength. “I’m sorry you overheard our argument, Tori. You weren’t meant to. You and I will always be close, regardless of what happens between your brother and me.”
Victoria’s gaze searched Gwen’s. “What is happening?”
“Never mind that,” Gwen patted Victoria on the leg. “Sebastian and I are working through it.”
“Do you love him?” Victoria persisted.
“Yes, I do.” Gwen’s words were rich with emotion. “I love him very much.”
“Why did he lie to you?”
Gwen considered Victoria’s question for a moment before responding. “Your brother lied to my father to gain his approval for our marriage. He felt that he was doing what was best for all of us. I was angry because he kept the truth from me.”