Dance of Desire (1001 Dark Nights) (7 page)

“Where’s Caleb?” Lita asks.

“In the guest bedroom,” Amber whispers.

“Should we go sit with him?”

“No,” Amber says, her voice a tremble. “No, we shouldn’t.”

4

Now

“Married?” Amber’s mother says for the third time in three minutes.

“Yep,” Amber answers.

She’s been home for over an hour but she hasn’t moved an inch from where she collapsed on the sofa right after stumbling through the front door. Reaching for the portable phone and dialing her mother’s number took most of the energy she had left.

At some point, maybe a few hours from now, she’ll get around to taking her shoes off. Maybe.

She can’t remember a day in her life this exhausting that didn’t involve moving or a six-hour plane flight or a spin class. But her mood has improved dramatically since lunchtime. That’s for sure. Maybe it was coming home to discover Joel hadn’t done anything shitty to the house. Maybe it’s the familiar and comforting sound of her mother’s voice.

Or maybe it’s because Caleb’s back…

“For how long?” her mother asks.

“Couldn’t have been more than a year or two. He was only gone four and they’re already divorced.”

“Divorced or separated?”

“Not sure. He just said it was over. And there’s no ring. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you, at least.”

“Oh, I’m not. He never had the kind of connection to me that he had to your dad.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

“This business with Joel and the bar. You sure you don’t want me to come?”

“God, why? So he can torture you too?”

“I’m serious, sweetheart. Say the word and I’ll hop in the car.”

Her mother was being charitable, to say the least. For her
a hop in the car
meant a drive of several hours, at least.

Her mom’s life choices these past few years had given proof to her dad’s old saying.
Try to make an ER nurse retire and she’ll end up treating the sunset.

Right after her husband’s death, she’d been invited to spend some time in the Texas Hill Country by her old friend Amanda Crawford, a woman whose personal wealth rivaled Belinda’s. Amanda’s ten-room mansion perched on a hill just outside the town of Chapel Springs was the perfect vantage point from which to take in the surrounding paradise of rolling green hills, orchards, and rushing creeks terminating in swimming holes full of crystal-clear water.

The two women were as close as sisters, thanks to a fateful night fifteen years before when Amber’s mom and some other nurses at Baylor Hospital saved the life of Amanda’s husband after his ER visit landed him in the care of an idiot doctor who misdiagnosed his chest pains as a panic attack. Years later, Amanda’s husband would succumb to the same heart condition Amber’s mother had discovered that night, but if it hadn’t been for her mother’s quick thinking, Amanda would have had to bury her husband ten years too soon.

When her mother fell in love with Chapel Springs right off the bat, Amber wasn’t the least bit surprised. But when she called a few days later to inform Amber she was moving there for good, Amber’s jaw hit the floor.

Amanda Crawford’s invite, it turned out, had been twofold.

The woman had just purchased an old ranch house she planned to transform into a luxury bed and breakfast and she’d invited the four nurses who had saved her husband’s life that long ago night to join her in the endeavor. And all of them had accepted. Including Amber’s mom. Never mind that The Haven Creek Inn wasn’t due to open for another year and a half.

Four years later, Haven Creek, as locals called it, was considered one of the premiere travel destinations in all of Texas. And it comforts Amber to think of her mother there now, safe, serene, surrounded by both beautiful country and the wonderful group of women who helped walk her through her grief over her husband’s death.

“Stay put, momma,” Amber says. “I think I’m gonna be okay.”

“Caleb’s got everything under control?”

“Something like that. Did you know all that stuff about the trust?”

“I knew your father and Caleb had a lot of conversations about it and they didn’t include me. Like I said, the connection between those two…it was special. I tried not to intrude.”

“And Joel?”

“What do you mean?” her mother asks.

“Did you have any doubts about him?”

“Amber, you
have
to stop doing this to yourself.”

“Doing what?”

“Beating yourself up like this. Marriage is a roll of the dice and you never know how it’s going to come out.”

“But you can’t win if you don’t play?”

“If you want to be sarcastic, that’s fine, I guess.”

“I figure I’m allowed.”

“Maybe for another few weeks.”

“Remember that expression Daddy used to always say?”

“Which one?”

“Sometimes the road rises up to beat you instead of meet you.”

“Oh, yeah. He stopped saying it after what happened to Caleb’s parents.”

“He only reserved it for the big things too. Not the everyday stuff. The big plans that went off the rails.”

“I remember.”

“Like a marriage. Think he’d use it now?”

“Well, he stopped using it altogether after Tim and Abby were killed, so no, I don’t think he would. And this sounds suspiciously like you beating yourself up again so I’m not going to sign off on it.”

“What about this thing I do with the dartboard? I took Joel’s picture and I—”

“You told me about that already. That’s fine.”

“Okay. Good. Also, my boss is kinda sending me to a sex club,” Amber adds.

“Hold, please,” her mother says quietly.

“Uh huh,” Amber answers, steeling herself for what’s to come.

Her mother places one hand over the phone’s mouthpiece and politely asks whoever’s in the office with her to leave. Amber hears chair legs scrape wood floor, then her mother says, “A
what
?”

“A sex club. But it costs a lot of money. So I’m sure it’s real nice.”

“Your boss, Belinda Baxter, who has twice been on the cover of
Texas Monthly
, is sending you to a sex club?”

“I kinda had the same reaction when she said it.”

“But you’re going anyway.”

“Yes…” At least, she thinks she is.

When Freddy, Belinda’s driver, brought her home from Watson’s earlier that day, Belinda had departed for a day full of lunch, fitness classes, shopping, probably a few stops off at some places that served fine wine in a comforting environment, and then some more shopping.

A note had been waiting for her on Belinda’s desk.
Stick to the light list for the rest of the day,
it said, referring to the list of long-term household projects she was supposed to focus on in between managing Belinda’s social calendar and travel schedule.
Will call you later tonight about TDE.

“I figure it’ll relax me,” Amber says.

“A weekend out here at The Haven Creek Inn will relax you. We have two massage therapists now.”

“It’s probably not the same.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s not the same, Amber. That’s my point. If relaxation’s what you’re after, it can be achieved in other ways.”

“Okay, fine! It’s not just what I’m after.”

“As long as you’re admitting to it.”

“Momma, it’s been a year since that man kissed me on the mouth. I tried everything to get things going in the bedroom again.
Everything
. And he treated me like I was some kind of desperate, needy freak. And the whole time, he was—”

“I know, I know. You don’t have to justify yourself to me, Amber.”

“Well, I do if you’re gonna get all judgy.”

“I’m not being
judgy
. I’m just… This is a sensitive time for you, Amber, I just—I want you to be clear on what your motives are. Don’t say you’re just looking for a good time when in your heart you’re looking for something else.”

“Like
looooooooooove
?”

“Hello, fifteen-year-old Amber. Could you give the phone back to twenty-six-year-old Amber, please?”

“Oh, Momma. I appreciate what you’re saying. I really do. But I have needs. And Belinda has never stayed at a hotel that doesn’t have five stars, so that means whoever’s gonna be tending to my needs at this place, they’re gonna be
real
high end.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Just a teensy bit.”

“Is that why you’re telling me all this stuff?” her mother asks.

“No. I’m going to be gone for a couple days coming up and I need someone to know where I’m going.”

“Okay. When are you going?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Okay… Where is this place?”

“I don’t know that yet either.”

“Well, alrighty then,” her mother says with a sigh. “This has been very informative, Amber. Thank you.”

“But when I do know, I’ll tell you.”

“And tell Caleb.”

“Are you crazy? I’m not telling
Caleb
about any of this!”

“Why not? If something goes wrong, he’s right there in town.”

“It’s none of his business!”

“Personally, I don’t think it’s any of
my
business either, but here you are, telling me all about it so…”

“’Cause I can’t tell Caleb.”

“I see.”

“What? What do you see?”

How, in the midst of talking about Belinda Baxter’s favorite sex club, did they wind up on the subject of Caleb? Is this how it’s going to be now that her so-called brother is back in town? All Caleb, all the time, no matter how she tries to avoid focusing on him and his broad shoulders and the shift of his powerful legs in those ass-hugging jeans and those—

“Baby girl, I don’t care if you go to this club. Hell, I don’t care if you sleep with five guys in one night—
I need the room please, Nora. Just another minute, okay?
”

“Awesome,” Amber whispers.

“All I care about is that you don’t go looking in the wrong place for what you really want.”

“That’s kinda what the place is about, apparently.”

There’s a long pause before her mother says, “I don’t understand.”

“Belinda says they teach you about who you really are and what you really want. So who knows? Maybe I’ll come away realizing this true love thing isn’t for me after all.”

“Yeah, you’ll come away with a newfound love of handsome male hookers, in which case Belinda better give you a raise.”

“Ouch, Momma.”

“It may not sound like it, Amber, but I hope whatever this place is, you have a good time. And I hope that’s
all
you have. Because that’s really all you need right now. A very good time.”

“Thanks, Momma.”

“And Amber?”

“Yes, Momma.”

“If you do have a good time, I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

“Deal!” Amber says brightly.

5

“Are you gay, dude?”

Caleb stares across the bar at his old friend, waiting for the guy to crack a smile.

Danny Patterson stares right back as if all he did was ask the time.

Apparently it was a serious question. Thank God nobody else inside Watson’s heard it.

“No, I’m not gay,” Caleb finally answers.

“You just never seemed that into Theresa is all.”

“Well, we weren’t in love. That’s why we got divorced.”

“I got that. So why marry her in the first place?”

“I don’t know. Convenience?”

“Since when is marriage convenient? Especially if you don’t love the person?”

We’re not always supposed to be with the one we really love,
Caleb thinks, but he doesn’t say it because he knows Danny will just respond with more pushy questions.

Also, Danny hasn’t shut up yet.

“Unless, you know, the dad’s threatening your life ’cause you got the girl pregnant, in which case you do it ’cause staying alive is convenient. But…wait a minute! You didn’t get Theresa pregnant, did you, ’cause I don’t re—”

“Danny, you’re twenty-three and you’ve been engaged three months. Quit lecturing me on marriage.”

“Three or four sentences isn’t really a lecture, if you ask me.”

Which I didn’t,
Caleb thinks.
But you drove an hour out of your way to have a drink with me so I’m gonna be polite and not clean your clock today.

People who watched too much daytime television liked to say Danny Patterson was
on the spectrum.
But as far as Caleb was concerned, implying someone had Asperger’s syndrome was just a fancy way of shaming them for not talking to you like you were their boss.

He’d first met Danny back when they were both working on the Proby Ranch outside Surrender, Montana. The kid was fresh out of high school then, so Caleb had blamed his 5-Hour Energy drink demeanor on the blissful ignorance of youth. But Danny’s older now and a cop, and still he chatters away like a five-year-old who doesn’t know when to stop bugging his parents during a long car ride.

“So,” Danny said.

“So what, Danny?”

“Are you gay?”

“For the second time here, which I’m hoping will be the last. I’m not gay. Why are you asking me this?”

“’Cause women catch on fire the minute you walk into a room and you’re still single.”

“I’m a huge player.”

“You’re not. You hooked up with one girl in the time I knew you before you married Theresa.”

“I’m not a fan of women on fire.”

“You’re evading, sir. A guy who looks like you…well, it’s just not normal for you to fly solo for this long, Caleb.”

“Unless I’m going full
Brokeback Mountain
in secret, you mean?”

“Pretty much. Yeah.”

“Well, if this is your way of telling me you think I’m good looking, then thank you, Danny. And I’m sorry I’m not more excited about that information, but, see, the thing is,
I’m not gay
.”

“Eliza’s got a gay brother and the dude’s awesome. Good looking guy too.”

“Son of a… Is this some kind of fix up?”

“What’s wrong with that? What are you a homophobe or something?”

“What’s wrong with it is that a good friend of mine is accusing me of lying about who I am. I’m not gay, Danny, and I’m not married to my ex-wife anymore ’cause we both moved on. It was a mutual decision, alright?”