Dance Mom Survival Guide: Growing a Great Dancer Without Losing Your Mind (6 page)

Tip: Ask about fundraising opportunities or create your own!

Our feeling is if you look at it as an investment in their childhood and their happiness, it’s easier to swallow than thinking of it as an expense to check off each month.

To that end, here’s a handy dandy budget we’ve put together to help you get the full picture of what your annual expenditures – er, investment – will be. This budget sheet can also be found on our website at www.dancemomsurvivalguide.com.

Annual Dance Budget

CLASSES

Registration Fee $

Monthly Tuition
$

Dance Clothing
$

Dance Shoes
$

Recital Fee
$

Recital Costume(s)
$

Other
$

Sub-total $

COMPANY/TEAM DANCE

Tuition $

Cos
tume(s) $

T-shirt(s)
$

Team Wear
$

Competition Fee(s)
$

Travel Expenses
$

Lodging
$

Food
$

Other
$

Sub-total $

CONVENTIONS

Convention Fee(s) $

Travel
Expenses $

Lodging
$

Food
$

Other
$

Sub-total $

TOTAL $$

When calculating competition fees, remember each dance in a competition has its own fee. For example, there may be a $35 fee per dancer for a group dance. If your dancer participates in four group dances such as hip hop, jazz, lyrical and tap there would be a total of $140 in fees for group dances in one competition. Also, there are additional fees for solos, duets and trios.

A few things to note on the budget.
“Other” can swallow you if you let it. As Dance Mom Christina said, it’s hard to say no when our dancers want every little thing the studio sells. “Other” for conventions can also mean fun for moms!

We got our hair did (improper language intended) at our last convention and last summer at nationals, we got pedicures. Budgeting in some fun can make your trips more memorable. We favor nice coffee shops, girl talk and maybe even a drink or two at the bar if you have extra time.

Bottom line: know your expenses upfront, stay smart and the expense of dance won’t ruin the experience. Who knows? Your dancer could be the next dancing star, YouTube sensation, celebrity choreographer, or studio owner.

They could also simply become a fabulous adult with wonderful memories of dance. That’s good, too. 

Chapter 7

Away We Go! Dance Camps, Conventions and Competitions

What makes a dancer better?

What benchmark do dancers use for success?

How can dancers continue to grow in their art?

While dance class may be the lifeblood of the dancer, camps, conventions and competitions are the best way for dancers to spread their wings and fly.

A
Dance Camp
is day or weekend devoted to dance and usually involves guest choreographers. They can be held at host studios or in hotels or convention centers.  Dance Camps can be held during “breaks” from school, and often summer camps are the lifeblood of the dance studio for non-Company dancers – and moms who love that their kids can have something fun and productive to do during the summer. They can be a nice gateway to get your dancer to experience a dance style he/she hadn’t considered before. It’s a low-cost way for a dancer to discover a new dance style without committing to a full year of classes if the dancer isn’t “into” that style at the present time.

A
Dance Convention
is a larger venue with more choreographers and can include breakfast/lunch/dinner and end with a showcase. Many conventions award scholarships based on performances, work ethic and attitudes during the convention. Celebrity choreographers are often invited, and it’s a hoot for dancers to get to meet and study under choreographers they may have seen on TV or all over the Internet. 

A
Dance Competition
is put on by a national dance company who takes their show on the road doing “regional” competitions and ending with a “nationals.” When we were newbies, we thought there was only one nationals in dance. Nope. Each company has its own, and studios may choose one close to them or one far away to compete in. The dance competitions may have a celebrity choreographer at the helm. Competitions are a good benchmark for the individual and team dancer because they are scored within their category and then in a larger pool for Overalls.

We found the judging rankings to be confusing since each organization sets it up differently. It’s rarely bronze, silver, gold, but rather things like “elite gold”, “platinum,” “elite platinum.” You could get first place and yet get awarded a lower skill ranking. The instructor will typically share the score sheets and judge notes the following week in company class so the dancers will know how they got the score they did (and what to work on before the next competition).

Tips for Com
petition Preparedness by Dance Instructor Gretchen Ponio

Technique is the key to performance.
  Without it, dancers look sloppy and unpolished.  Again, BALLET!!!

Attitude – Be confident and positive
.

Preparations – know routines, be solid and comfortable on all timing
.

Have a costume checklist
.

Gretchen adds that Conventions are important for dancers to see different choreographers and be exposed to different styles of teaching.
 “They challenge dancers to learn choreography quickly and learn new techniques for various steps and exercises. And overall, they are a fun experience!” says Gretchen.

Dance Instructor Melissa believes conventions can be a great thing, if taken the right way. “Some studios go to conventions and leave saying, ‘I don't like how they teach.’ or ‘I don't like their style,’ or even, ‘I didn't feel like I danced enough.’ Growing up in California, we were taught that you
 try the style even if it wasn't our favorite. We were taught to go in there with an open mind because everyone teaches differently. Being able to adapt to different styles is what makes a great dancer! Conventions introduce you to the different styles of choreographers! For example, Sonya Tayeh Contemporary choreography is different than Stacey Tucci Contemporary. You have to learn to adapt! If you can't do a convention open-minded, YOU WILL NOT MAKE IT IN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD OF DANCE! So many dancers are only one style of dance. Those are the ones who do not succeed in the dance world.  Conventions are great, if you go in with an opened mind, and just try.”

Dance Instructor Melissa
Motte on being prepared

“Being well prepared for competitions? One word: PRACTICE. Some girls believe once a dance is finished, no more practice. That is when the real work begins. Cleaning a dance, remembering what you cleaned, and perfecting it. Also, going out there and dancing for
YOURSELF. If you go out on stage trying to impress the judges, you get beyond nervous. The judges are wanting to see YOU dance. Yes, they are looking for technique. But a girl with perfect technique vs. a DANCER with perfect technique are totally different. When you step out on stage, your goal is to make the judges see who you are as a dancer. Show them this is your passion, and you will dance your heart out!”

What about Dads?

What do dads do at competitions? Truthfully, not that many dads go. If you took a snapshot in a lobby, you’d mostly see a sea of estrogen.  Since the teams usually perform the same dances at each competition, a lot of dads go see their dancer once and may skip the rest – at least until recital time. (We know we aren’t speaking for everyone!)

A few reasons for this are having other kids at home (and you don’t see many siblings due to all the waiting) and having other activities the family attends while the mom and dancer are at the competition. Couple those things with dads (males) not being allowed in the dressing rooms, and it’s easy to understand why they feel like a fish out of water much more than even we clueless moms do.

Since nationals can be the most expensive trip and the farthest away, some dads and whole families go thinking they can tack on a family vacation. While we definitely don’t want to discourage families from spending time together, we do want to give you the facts that it’s tough to balance family time and dance time when dance can take up an extraordinary amount of the week. So unless some family members are driving or flying separately, you may want to consider scheduling a family vacation that doesn’t involve the stress and time constraints of competition.

Another idea would be to have the other family members come in the day after the competition is over. Not only will the dancer be relieved that it’s over, but he/she can fully concentrate on the family.

Families are encouraged to arrive at least one day prior to competition to ensure you arrive in time and have some downtime, but that also means rehearsal time. Depending on the schedule, you may have an afternoon off, but some dancers, depending on their ages, would much rather spend that time with their dance friends than do something apart from them (and be grumpy the whole time, wishing they were with their friends).

Also it cuts into your precious time off. Having only a few hours in between activities isn’t much of a break. And having to “hurry” to get somewhere simply isn’t as much fun.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this on our Facebook page. We recommend going to nationals once with your dance mom BFF or carpooling and seeing how it is once before you decide to pack up all the kids and husband and not have it turn into a Lampoon’s vacation. We just want your expectations to be in check so you don’t leave there thinking, “Worst. Vacation. Ever.”

While we’re sure there are those dads who rock the hairdos and can fix a costume disaster in no time flat, we often see dads doing one of four things:

•
Sleeping bears. They typically find the comfiest chair in the lobby and snooze until someone tells them it’s time for their dancer to dance.

•
Chauffering. Not so different than mamas.

•
Carrying the heavy luggage. Hey, when dad comes, the load lightens a bit, doesn’t it?

•#1 Fans.
Sweet dads are the best. They love their daughters and never notice that a foot was turned out or the leap wasn’t high enough or they were a second behind everyone else. That’s what makes them proud papas.

For a list of fun things to do in those new-to-you cities, we’ve added the chapter Dance Moms Just
Wanna Have Fun.

Which nicely leads us to the Dancer
Hallie Martin’s Packing Checklist for camps, conventions and competitions. One of our favorite benefits of dance is that it can teach our children responsibility and that includes keeping up with their stuff and knowing how to pack.

Competition list

Costumes

Hair pieces/accessories (if needed)

Tights

Extra tights

All dance shoes

Jewelry (if needed)

Clothes for after competition

Bobby pins

Hair ties

Nail polish remover

Clear nail polish

Hair spray

Makeup remover

Tissues

Pain meds

Mirror

Water bottle

Healthy snacks

Tampons/pads

Lipstick

Eyeshadow

Eyeliner

Mascara

Foundation

Blush

Lip liner

Safety pins

First Aid Kit

Makeup caddies (such as Caboodles) are the preferred organizational toolbox for competitions. We’ve seen really elaborate set ups for the changing rooms including racks, chairs, floor-length mirrors and even roll up carpets and privacy screens.

That calls for a pause because the dressing rooms can be a bit of an eye-opening surprise for first time dance moms. Studios do not get their own changing rooms and there’s usually no time to go to the bathroom to change so this means a “Land Run” of sorts whereby many studios stake out claims in the open rooms and set up camp for the day. A few highlights:

Unless you bring your own chair, you and your dancers will be sitting on the floor.

Lots of girls in various stages of undress.
You can bring a curtain for your dancers, but most just change out in the open.