Damaged Souls (Broken Man) (4 page)

No, he doesn’t feel the same way about me, Delaney decided as she opened her eyes and remembered how he reacted to her invitation. He wouldn’t have turned me down so easily if he was really interested. No, Greg just sees me as a friend, and he has way too much on his mind to ever see me as anything more.

What is wrong with me, Delaney felt her emotions tied up in knots. But it’s not just my mind, she realized and again felt the tension she was unsure how to handle as her fingers found the inside of her thigh and she felt her muscles tense. Why am I thinking about him like that?

I need to get over these feelings for him once and for all, Delaney’s mind spoke the truth her body seemed unwilling to accept as she rolled over on her side and tried to go to sleep.

Chapter Three

“I can’t believe you are going to make me do this,” Jack tried to make Amanda feel guilty but couldn’t hide a smile. “You’re the psychologist, why don’t you talk to Greg.”

“I would, Jack,” Amanda tried to bribe him with a cup of coffee and a kiss as she sat down. “But, Delaney’s right, Greg isn’t going to talk to me.”

“And why do the two of you think he is going to talk to me.”

“Oh honey,” she smiled as she teased him. “It’s just that you are so kind and sensitive, and so in touch with your feelings. Of course he will talk to you. Doesn’t he have to, you are his boss.”

“Very funny,” Jack smiled as he took a sip of coffee and realized he had doubled the amount of complication in his life when Delaney moved in with them. “Okay, I’ll do it. But, I can’t promise when or even if it will do anything. You’ve put me in a very delicate situation you know.”

“Oh, I know it is quite a burden on your busy schedule,” Amanda teased him again. “But I promise to make it up to you.”

That sounds pretty good, Jack thought about going in late this morning and taking her back to bed before realizing Logan would be up in a few minutes. “What did you have in mind.”

“Well, that all depends on how good a job you do. But, I may be open to suggestion.”

“We better stop before I get too many ideas in my head,” Jack laughed as he stood up and realized it was already too late. “I better get going. What do you have planned for the day.”

“Logan and I are going to visit that pre-k over at Meadow Brook to see if we like it. We are going to have to make a decision on that pretty soon.”

“We will, I hope you guys like it,” he responded and thought about Logan terrorizing a school. “You want to come wake him up with me.”

“Sure, Jack,” Amanda replied as she stood up “And thanks for talking to Greg for me.”

* * *

It was Friday afternoon when Amanda finished her final appointment of the week. As she heard the voices of her expanded family playing outside, Amanda took a second to sit back in her chair and count her blessings.

It was easy to realize how fortunate she was, especially with respect to the problems of her patients. The alcoholism and drug abuse were just symptoms of the deeper diseases of abandonment, neglect, abuse, and all the other life tragedies with which she had become so familiar. No, she didn’t practice full time, just for a couple hours a day out of her home and once a week volunteering at the women’s shelter, but she heard enough in that short time to know how important it was she continue to practice.

South Florida would always provide an endless list of clients to fill her appointment book. Amanda had more phone calls than she could handle despite not actively seeking patients or advertising her services. She even felt a little guilty about only practicing part-time, but it was important to her to be a stay at home Mom until Logan started school.

That had been the plan they made, the deal she and Jack had agreed to five years earlier when the doctor confirmed her pregnancy. They had each gotten what they wanted, Amanda keeping her hand both in her practice and her beautiful boy’s life while Jack was able to love and provide for his family while continuing his career. But, that five year plan was nearly up, and Amanda wondered what the future held for them.

Amanda did feel the need to do more. She wasn’t fully utilizing her skills and was ready to take on the world full time, or more realistically, for about twenty five hours a week out of the comfort of her home office. Amanda knew she could find the proper balance once Logan started school, but wasn’t sure Jack would be in the position to help her do so.

He was complicated. As much as he loved spending time with her, Logan, and Delaney, she also knew how much of his self image rested in his work. As well it should, she thought to herself as she watched out of the window as he tackled Logan. He is really good at what he does, a man as talented as Jack shouldn’t have to settle for being a stay at home Dad.

Maybe we shouldn’t change the plan, Amanda thought to herself as she realized how happy they were. Amanda had everything she had ever wanted in life and more. Growing up, she could never have pictured having all of this, especially after the struggles of her childhood. But now, that difficult time seemed like just a dream, almost like it had happened to someone else.

But, she would never entirely forget her prior life, no matter how much she tried or how rewarding her life was now. Her clients would always remind her of the struggles of her childhood, and oftentimes, Amanda would picture her mother when listening to a patient. And that’s why it’s important that I expand my practice. I have to help more women like my mother, Amanda realized their five year plan needed to come to an end.

Everything is so connected, Amanda couldn’t help but sense she was meant to practice this craft that had taken so long to master. Her difficult childhood, the death of her grandmother, her fractured relationship with her own mother and her premature death by overdose. Yes, everything in her life had lead to this.

And what of the blessings in her life now, she wondered as she watched Greg sweep Delaney up and swing her around his body. What was to explain her relationship with Jack, the birth of her son, even her nurturing of Delaney and Greg through an age when she had struggled so much. What did it all mean?

Amanda understood the psychology of it all. Maybe she did need Jack, an older man to substitute for her absentee father. Maybe their impulsive decision to have a child filled a void in both of their lives created by their dysfunctional upbringing. And no doubt her caring for Greg and Delaney did somehow provided a sense of redemption for her own unsupervised teenage years.

But then again, maybe I am just lucky. Maybe I simply chose wisely and was fortunate with respect to the people in my life. I know we are going to work this out as we always have, Amanda remembered the kind of man she chose to have a child with, the kind of man she married. Why am I so worried about all of this?

There is nothing to worry about, Amanda realized as she got up from her desk and prepared to go outside to spend time with her family. I married the perfect man. Jack is going to make sure we are happy for the rest of our lives.

* * *

“You want a beer,” Jack asked Greg as they sat down in the screened room and he tried to break the ice.

“No thanks,” he looked at Jack with surprise after his unexpected question.

“I don’t mind, Greg,” Jack knew this conversation would be easier over a drink or two. “You’re eighteen now, and you’re not driving tonight.”

“Okay, I’ll have one,” he accepted the offer as Jack remembered why he liked him. “What’s the occasion.”

“No occasion,” Jack fibbed as he handed Greg a beer and silently cursed his wife. “Just wanted to talk a little bit.”

“What about,” he replied as Jack could sense his concern.

“Well, first, I want to thank you for everything you do at the hotel and everything you do around here,” Jack procrastinated as he remembered Delaney insisting that Jack hire Greg to mow the yard back when they were still in middle school. “You’re a hard worker, Greg, and I admire that.”

“Thanks, I try to do my best.”

“I know you do. I really don’t how you get it all done with school, work, and all your lawns. Anyway, Amanda and I wanted to make sure that everything was okay at home,” he watched for a reaction before even completing the sentence.

“Everything is fine,” he assumed a perfect poker face. “Did Delaney say something.”

“No, Delaney didn’t say anything,” Jack played poker as well. “We were just worried about you.”

“We’re fine,” Greg maintained his usual distrust of authority that Jack shared. “Mom’s actually doing better.”

“That’s good, but let us know if you need anything,” Jack didn’t press the issue as he prepared for Amanda’s next topic on the agenda.

“Will do,” Greg seemed relieved that the questioning was seemingly over as he changed the subject. “So, what are Amanda and Delaney getting for dinner tonight.”

“They are just picking up ribs and salad,” Jack replied as he transitioned the conversation awkwardly. “So, the girls told me the prom is coming up soon. Have you thought about who you are going to ask.”

“Uh, no I haven’t,” Greg appeared almost ready to laugh at the ridiculousness of the question Jack couldn’t believe had come out of his mouth.

I’m going to kill her, Jack thought of his crazy wife and finally gave up. “This is ridiculous. Look Greg, Amanda and I were thinking it might be nice if you invited Delaney.”

“Have you told her that,” he looked horrified.

“Of course I haven’t,” Jack laughed. “But, I have no idea what women talk about and absolutely no control over that wife of mine.”

“You’re right about that,” Greg took a jab at him. “You know, I’ve thought about it, but we are just friends and she probably wants to go with someone she likes.”

“She likes you, Greg,” Jack assured him. “And we both like you too. I’m not going to play matchmaker and you don’t have to answer me now, but if you want to ask her, go ahead and do it. She would love to go with you, and Amanda and I would both feel better knowing she is in good hands.”

“Thanks, Jack, that means a lot to me. I think I will ask her,” he seemed sincere for just a second. “But, can you do me a favor. Can we talk about something else now, maybe sports or something.”

“Sure, Greg,” Jack laughed as he heard the girls arrive home. “I think it’s time to eat anyway.”

* * *

“So, what did he say,” Amanda asked for the second time as Jack enjoyed making her wait.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he teased her. “We talked about so many things, I just can’t remember.”

“You better tell me before I hit you with this spoon,” she threatened him with a smile as she prepared the plates.

“Physical violence, really honey,” he laughed. “Of course he is going to ask her. Are you happy now.”

“I am happy now,” Amanda replied as she spied on Greg and Delaney sitting on the porch with Logan. “They even look different. Maybe he already asked her.”

“Would you calm down. The prom is a three weeks away, he has plenty of time.”

“Whatever,” Amanda couldn’t believe his cluelessness on this matter. “Anyway, I am glad he is going to ask her and I’m pleased his mother is doing better.”

“Me too,” Jack just seemed happy the issue was resolved. “Now, can we discuss my reward we talked about.”

“Is that the only reason you even talked to him,” Amanda laughed as Jack pressed up against her and reached his arms around her waist before she pushed his hands away. “You are going to have to wait until later, maybe after the kids are asleep if you behave yourself.”

“Well, I better behave myself then,” he gave her a slap on the behind before grabbing a couple plates and heading outside for dinner.

Chapter Four

“I am definitely going to ask her tonight,” Greg whispered to himself as he polished the silverware and watched Delaney set table seven.

He had come so close so many times all week that at least his proposal was now memorized. He would be casual but not too informal, funny but still a little serious, smooth but not contrived. Who was he kidding, Greg just hoped he could spit the damn invitation out.

But I am going to do it tonight, he tried to convince himself as he thought of all the near misses during the week. Sitting by the pool Sunday, unable to focus on anything but the bikini she was wearing. Before English class Tuesday, a fully clothed encounter interrupted at the last second by her friend Susie. Then, coming so close yesterday but never getting the perfect opportunity with Logan around.

Tonight will be perfect. The banquet will go late, and Jack had already asked him to drive Delaney home after work. Maybe they could stop to get something to eat, maybe they could just park the car and talk, maybe he could walk her to the door and kiss her goodnight.

Don’t get carried away, Greg, he reminded himself to focus on the matter at hand. One thing at a time, he watched Delaney move to the next table as he realized he was behind on the silverware. God, this is going to be hard, he tried to calm down as he got back to work.

“What’s going on, Greg,” Sheila interrupted his thoughts as she opened the half door behind the bar and began prepping for her customers.

“Not much, Sheila,” he smiled, pleased to receive a reprieve from his thoughts. “Just getting ready for tonight.”

“Looks like you are doing more than that,” Sheila teased him as she always did, the mother of two teenage daughters herself. “Greg, why don’t you just ask her, you know you want to.”

“Trust me, I tried all week,” he remembered their conversation from the weekend before. “The moment hasn’t been right, but I am going to do it tonight.”

“Well you better before some other guy snatches her up,” Sheila reminded him of the competition and ratcheted up the pressure. “Will you do me a favor and hand me that jar of olives.”

“Sure,” he replied as he retrieved the olives from the waitress station. “Sheila, can I ask you something.”

“Of course you can, Greg.”

“What do you really think of me,” Greg tried to put his finger on his confusion. “I mean, what would you think if I showed up at your door to take one of your daughters out.”