Feeling like an idiot, I couldn’t catch my breath once Saint showed up at the bar. At first, I thought he was simply scary. Now I had to admit I was attracted to him. My feelings meant nothing. How could they? Getting hot for a man like Saint was a no-brainer. Any woman would swoon, yet stay as far away from him as possible.
Once Saint spoke to me, my feelings morphed into a ball of crazy. He both insulted me and offered me a chance to get stronger. Saint treated me like a woman rather than a child. I still felt silly in his presence. Even wanting him to like me, I doubted anyone impressed a man capable of killing men like the Devils.
By the time I arrived at my sister Winnie’s house, I felt lost between my need to prove myself worthy of Saint’s respect and the desire to keep him at arm’s length until he left town.
Hearing the Harley, Winnie hurried out the front door to see me. My sister’s long, dark hair was a mess from her yanking on it before I arrived.
“I heard you were attacked,” she cried, meeting me at the driveway of the house she shared with her husband Dylan.
“Who told you that?”
“The girl at Whiskey Kirk’s. She called me and said you were harassed by one of those out of town guys,” Winnie said then added, “She did say he was hot. Not that him being hot makes him being an asshole okay.”
“He didn’t really attack me. I thought he was a threat and tried to kick his ass.”
Following me into the house, she asked, “Did you hurt him?”
“Not even a little bit. I did hurt my knuckles trying to take him down.”
Winnie didn’t want to laugh, but she did anyway. I grinned at her laughter.
“I’m sorry. I bet you were a real badass.”
Rolling my eyes, I smiled wider. “It was like fighting a wall. Well, a wall that can fight back. He was completely unfazed, but that makes sense since it was Saint.”
Winnie’s smile faded. “The guy who took care of the Devils in Phoenix?” When I nodded, she exhaled uneasily. “And you tried to beat him up?”
I couldn’t help laughing. “Yeah, I tried to take down a professional killer. Hard to believe I didn’t take his ass to the ground, huh?”
Winnie smiled, but she looked worried. “Was he mad?”
“No. He thought it was funny. He also offered to train me.”
Winnie stared at me in the dark way she got when the words in her head were too difficult to say out loud.
“What does he want from you?”
“I don’t know. I know he’s a killer and he’s good at it. I’m sure he can lie well, but I really don’t think it’s a trick to hurt me. I think he actually wants to train me to fight better.”
Winnie didn’t respond. Her hazel eyes flickered around the room. I remembered how scared she was when they first moved into the house. How she called me most nights. How I called her the nights she didn’t. Eventually, she learned to live with Dylan and those calls weren’t so regular. These days, she slept fine without me.
“What’s he like?”
“A jerk, but in a likeable way. You know, the same way as Cooper or Vaughn. He seems smart too. Certainly knows how to read people.”
I thought to mention his dark, intoxicating looks. Or his smile. No man capable of such violence should possess such a warm smile. Saint did though. He was big, strong, and gorgeous. I hated admitting I noticed the last part. Attraction to men wasn’t something I ever wanted to feel. Saint wasn’t just any man though. He was the one who killed the threat haunting me for years.
“Do you want him to train you?” Winnie asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I shrugged, but Winnie knew I was full of crap.
“When will I ever get a chance for someone like Saint to train me? Vaughn thinks I’m a kid. Dad doesn’t want me getting hurt. Everyone humors me, but Saint doesn’t look at me like a child. He’s only in town for a few weeks, so I don’t have a lot of time to decide. Besides, I want to say yes.”
“Maybe you should ask Dad first.”
I frowned. “I’m an adult. I don’t need permission.”
Winnie gave me a look that I suspected she would use on her kids one day. “Not for permission, Harlow,” she said in an overly patient voice. “For guidance. You might be an adult, but you’re still really stupid.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You spend too much time with Bailey.”
“Actually, it was Raven who said you were stupid,” she said, grinning.
“Why the hell am I stupid?”
“Not really stupid, just the stupider sister anyway. She said she was the smart sister in her family and you were the dumb one in our family. I think she was trying to compliment me more than attack you.”
“Oh, then I’m super cool with being called stupid.”
“What are you going to do? Beat her up? She’s carrying Vaughn’s spawn. Her words, not mine.”
Frowning, I stood up and walked to the kitchen. “You keep talking trash then blaming it on others, but it won’t keep you from getting smacked. You’re not carrying spawn, are you?”
“Not yet,” she said, following me. “Not for a while hopefully. Taking care of the twins is enough baby time for me.”
Winnie poured me a cup of coffee then one for herself. I suspected she was moving slowly to avoid continuing the conversation. I didn’t blame her since I didn’t know what to say either.
“What do you plan to do with the training?” she asked as we walked onto the enclosed back porch. “You can’t keep fighting at the Thunderdome forever.”
“I’m nineteen. I could keep fighting for ten years and it wouldn’t be forever.”
“Why would you want to?”
“I don’t want to go to college. I don’t want to work as an office clerk or waitress. I don’t have many skills, but I can fight. Saint can teach me to fight better.”
Winnie’s expression reeked of disapproval. I didn’t blame her. If the roles reversed, I’d be pissed to know my sister was fighting.
“I can’t do what you did with Dylan,” I said after a long while. “I don’t want to do what you did. The idea of a guy touching me makes me sick. Pisses me off too.”
Nodding, Winnie looked sad. This new life of hers was perfect and she wanted everyone to feel the same kind of happiness. In her mind, we all needed to find our Dylan and fall in love like her. Except love was the last thing I wanted out of life.
Whiskey Kirk’s menu looked decent, so I stuck around to eat. I also figured Harlow would be calling her buddy Cooper soon. Waiting on her call, I enjoyed a decent helping of pot roast and a not so decent slice of garlic toast. As bar food went, the place was above average.
Covered in skulls, demons, fallen angels, crosses, hot women, the men around me were all tatted. Some tattoos looked like works of art. Others were crude. I planned to get tatted once I retired for real. Until then, tattoos were a no-no for any real assassin.
Over the years, I’d played the part of foreign businessman and boy-toy to rich women. Once I even played a tech nerd. Tattoos interfered with the roles. They also made recognizable tells for witnesses. With my mixed race, people reported I was Mexican, Samoan, black, and even an Eskimo. One key to remaining free was leaving the cops with no viable info to use. A witness might remember a tattoo though, so I remained ink-free.
I had a few ideas for my first tattoo. Something from my childhood, back when my soul was pure and my dreams were bigger than a good shot of Tequila and a decent meal.
Whiskey Kirk’s was full of badasses, keeping me constantly aware of their locations. Sitting in the back of the bar so no one got the jump on me, I noticed Cooper Johansson heading my direction. A big guy, he was used to throwing his weight around. To me, he was just a kid relying on his dad’s rep along with his own size to scare weaker men. I wasn’t those men.
“Want to tell me why you offered to train Harlow Todds?” he demanded in a hard voice while taking a seat across from me.
“She wants to fight, but doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing. I figured I’d train her, so I’ll have something to do while in your little town.”
“Why her?”
I gave him a little grin. “She’s a good looking gal. I’m not like these other guys looking for an easy lay while in Ellsberg. I’m not looking to hit anything besides a punching bag. Harlow is pretty, but she’s cold. All the temptation, but none of the worry about a clingy chick whining when I’m ready to leave town.”
Cooper studied me. While his dark eyes intimidated others, they reminded me of Harlow’s angry expression. Having stared into the eyes of evil without blinking, I couldn’t fear these children.
“Harlow is protected by the club,” Cooper said in his best badass voice. “Don’t be fooled about her dad being a preacher. He protects what’s his.”
“Kid, I know you’re the big dog around these parts, so you enjoy hearing yourself talk. I’ll warn you though. I’m too old to pretend I care.”
“I’m a big dog and you’re a bigger one. Fair enough, but Harlow is my responsibility. If you hurt her, I’ll use my power to hurt you. Maybe I don’t scare you or maybe you’ll think twice now. Either way, I said my piece.”
“When you talk to Harlow again, tell her I’ll pick her up at seven tomorrow. If she isn’t ready, the deal is off. I’m not looking to babysit.”
Cooper stood before changing his mind and taking his seat again. He glanced around before focusing on me. “What do you think of the guys Memphis brought?”
I wiped my mouth and leaned back. “Bikers look all the same to me.”
Forgetting for a moment he was the president of the Reapers, Cooper wanted to mouth off. The kid was dying to put me in my place like any stuck-up boy would. His moment of stupid passed.
“The twins don’t look like much,” he said, tempting me to add my two cents.
“Dayton and Camden aren’t so different than you except their daddy isn’t ready to retire yet.”
Cooper glared at me before his gaze flickered around the bar again. “Why bring those three guys?” he asked. “They’re not in any clubs.”
Studying Dutch and his two buddies, I noticed they weren’t comfortable around each other. I even suspected they first met after arriving in Ellsberg. The three men sat together, yet remained separate.
“Rumor has it, there’s a club doing a piss poor job of following orders from Memphis,” I said quietly and Cooper leaned in like a girl wanting good gossip. “That particular club’s leadership might be on its way out. I suspect those three will be the ones to show them the door.”
Cooper looked too smug for my taste, so I decided to mess with him again. “Good thing your daddy is around to keep your ass safe, huh?”
Cooper narrowed his eyes and my mind returned to Harlow. She was so fucking sexy when she glared. Hilarious too. Shaking off thoughts of sexy brats, I focused on the kid in front of me.
“The Memphis guys aren’t testing me,” he said like stating fact. “They’re testing those guys.”
“Why make it an either or situation?” I asked, standing up and throwing a ten dollar tip on the table. “The Memphis guys aren’t getting any younger. Old timers like stability. You and the twins taking over clubs make them nervous. Now, they have this loser club down south. That’s a whole lot of change to make the Memphis seniors uneasy. So the way I see it, you all need to be on your best behavior.”
“What about you?”
I smiled wide for him. “Kid, I’m golden. The only reason I’m here is to kill anyone who won’t play nice.”
Cooper didn’t react to my words, boding well for him living past my visit in Ellsberg. Leaving him to think over his situation, I paid the bill and headed to the apartment complex the Reapers used for guests. A quiet night awaited me, but tomorrow with Harlow was all I had on my mind.
I didn’t hate bowling. Okay, I did hate the actual bowling part. What I didn’t mind was spending time with the crew once a week. After being homeschooled in both Ellsberg and Georgia where we lived for a short while, I hadn’t made many friends. That was my fault more than the school situation. I never wanted to let people close to me. Besides, I had Winnie who understood me like no one else could.
My sister loved bowling. She was great at it too. Winnie and Dylan were the only ones who challenged Vaughn and Raven. The four of them quickly became obnoxious once the rivalry began.
The rest of us hung out, eating pizza and drinking beer, while taking occasional breaks to roll the ball down the alley. The couples with kids enjoyed the night out most of all. Cooper and Farah danced slowly to the 1950’s music playing overhead. Not to be outdone, Aaron and Lark poorly reenacted moves from Dancing with the Stars. Tucker and Maddy played with their food, trying to get French fries in each other’s open mouths. Watching them, I wondered if their behavior would ever stop seeming lame.
Judd had the same expression on his face, alternating between watching the bowling and his friends act stupid. Tawny offered to throw a slice of pizza at him, if he was feeling left out. He gave her a look that sent her into hysterics.
“Should we dance?” Bailey asked Nick who was reading on his iPad.
Glancing up from under his hair, he smiled then shook his head.
“We might have lost our loving feeling,” Bailey told me. “I feel like the passion is gone.”
Knowing she was teasing Nick, I ignored her comment and focused on my sister rolling a strike.
“In your face, dingus!” she yelled at Vaughn.
When he faked anger, she ran behind Dylan.
“Stop cheating,” Dylan told Vaughn. “Just because your woman isn’t bowling well tonight.”
“I’m cooking a human being here,” Raven announced for maybe the hundredth time since arriving.
“So you should be a better bowler,” Bailey muttered. “I mean, aren’t you bowling for two?”
Raven flipped off Bailey who met the single middle finger with two of her own. A contest was set off and I lost interest.
“Saint will probably kill you,” Judd said, startling me since he rarely acknowledged my existence.
“Why?”
“Why not?”
“He could have killed me today when I attacked him.”
Bailey stopped messing with Raven long enough to laugh at me. I rolled my eyes, making her laugh harder. Her laughter set off Nick until they were chuckling at my expense.
“They’re laughing with you,” Tawny said, giving me a grin.
“Funny.”
“Saint is no one,” Judd said, taking a swig of beer. “He doesn’t live anywhere. Doesn’t have a real name. No one knows anything about him. He has skills Memphis needs. So if he were to do something to you, they wouldn’t punish him. They’d likely tell Cooper to let it go too. Do you get my meaning?”
“Be honest though. If you could have him train you, wouldn’t you say yes?”
“Sure, but I’m me and you’re not.”
“Yeah, I’m a chick and he just wants to mess with me. Except he’s already taught me stuff and I want to learn more.”
“So you can go into his work?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
Judd smirked before turning away. Vaughn stared at us from the lanes, clearly listening. I knew he wanted me to follow Winnie’s lead and find a nice guy to take care of me. Love would heal my wounds. I’d pop out a few cute kids and enjoy playdates with the other girls. Might even find a job that made me feel accomplished.
Unfortunately, nice guys pissed me off. I never understood why until I went on a single date during high school. The guy was sweet as sugar, great manners, and respectful to the point of being a wuss. Yet, he didn’t want real. Every time I said something too rough, he got a weird look as if I was crapping on his happy buzz.
I refused to spend my life lying about my past. Winnie didn’t have to lie with Dylan. Of course, he wasn’t really a nice guy. He was moody and had a killer instinct. He was the kind of nice guy someone like me could end up with, yet my friends had already claimed all the viable messed up possibilities in Ellsberg. Ending up alone wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me.
I normally felt no curiosity about the romantic entanglements my friends shared. After meeting Saint, I found myself startled by my attraction to a man. Even when not thinking about him, I sensed him lingering around the edges of my thoughts. I was insanely curious about Saint and excited about spending time together tomorrow.
Even knowing the training would be brutal and likely leave me embarrassed, I hadn’t felt such anticipation in my life. My first night in the Thunderdome only hinted at the rush I enjoyed whenever thinking of Saint.
Morning couldn’t come quickly enough.