Even when my heart was breaking, I smiled. No
matter if I was sad, angry, or scared, I had a smile plastered on my face. My older
sister Raven called it a coping mechanism. She heard the term on
Oprah
and it sounded right, but all I knew was I smiled even when inappropriate.

My grandfather once slapped me for smiling. At my
little brother’s funeral, he hit me in front of everyone and said it wasn’t the
time for my silly smiles. Raven screamed at him and punched his neck because
she wasn’t tall enough to reach his face. She even tried climbing on a chair to
hit him. By then, people were freaking out. My mother was crying and my
grandmother ran off because she was afraid of my grandfather’s temper. The
preacher struggled to settle everyone down, but it was no use. The funeral was
ruined. Through the chaos and my tears, I kept smiling like I couldn’t stop
myself.

There were very few things capable of making me
genuinely smile since Raven ditched town six months earlier. Since then, I’d
made new friends like Bailey Johansson who was loud and rough like Raven. I had
also bonded with the Smith sisters. During Farah’s wedding, I found something really
worth smiling over.

His name was Aaron.

While I never went as far as writing his name on my
folder in class, I did think about doing it. Ever since I met him at the
wedding rehearsal, I was forever wondering about Aaron. The first time he
walked into the room and I noticed the cobra tattoo up his neck, I was
fascinated. My interest only grew when I saw him smile and his blue eyes lit up
in the most beautiful way.

Over and over, I tried to talk to Aaron at the rehearsal
dinner. I planned to make another move at the wedding reception, but he brought
a date.

Hopes dashed, I returned to my dull life in
Ellsberg. My newest friends were living these wild lives with sexy men. Well,
not Bailey who couldn’t keep a man past a few hookups. Even with her crappy
romantic options, she was miles ahead of me in the exciting life department.

All I did most days was work the morning shift at
Denny’s before hurrying to my two afternoon classes at Hampton College. I could only afford two because I was paying my way through college. Despite my
irritation at how long it would take me to get a degree, I knew it could be
worse.

No one in my family ever finished college or even worked
in an office. They were all waitresses or janitors. My mom did marry a rich man
with a business, but she had to give up a lot to keep him. I didn’t plan to end
up like her.

I wanted an office job and a man who wouldn’t tell
me what to eat and how to dress. I wanted to be strong and free. Even if I
ended up alone forever, this would be better than being someone’s slave.

My sister refused to be a slave too, yet she had
horrible taste in men. So Raven bounced from one loser to the next. Now, she
was in California with her latest turd. While I missed Raven more than I could
express to her or anyone else, I resented how she left Ellsberg. Most days, I
blamed my stepdad Larry. When I was honest, I blamed Raven for leaving me
behind.

No longer alone, I had a chance at a new direction
in my life. Hopefully this new direction might one day include the gorgeous and
artistic Aaron Barnes.

The one downside to my friendships was agreeing to
activities I didn’t enjoy. Like bowling.

Bowling had always bored me. Raven and I had been
in a league for a while with the girls from our roller derby team. On more than
one occasion, I faked an illness to get out of it. I sucked at bowling and
didn’t find it the least bit entertaining. Yet, I readily agreed when Farah invited
me to join the crew at one of the local alleys.

Tucker Johansson called us the crew now. Everyone
was pairing up and he seemed relieved about this fact. Claimed it felt good not
to be the only whipped guy around. He made this announcement again while
rubbing his girl Maddy’s pregnant belly.

Nearby, Cooper refused to admit he was whipped.
However, he looked pretty domesticated with Farah on his lap feeding him
nachos. She even wiped his mouth like she was practicing for when they had
kids.

Judd and Tawny stumbled in late. With his dark hair
tussled and her cheeks flushed, I sensed they stopped on the way for a quickie.
Yep, everyone was in a state of bliss except for me. Oh, and Vaughn who was the
only one who really liked bowling.

Ignoring all the whispering couples around him,
Vaughn taught me to bowl while I faked like I cared. We were both on the outs
and I suspected he wanted to find a new buddy now that Judd was attached to his
angel. Every time Tawny laughed, Vaughn’s frown darkened.

“You should be happy for them,” I said as he guided
me towards the alley.

“I am. Fucking overwhelmed with happiness. Now, pay
attention.” When I flinched at his tone, Vaughn sighed. “It gets boring when
your best friend is busy mating like a rabbit.”

“My best friend ditched me too, so I found new
friends. Maybe you should too.”

“Crap no. Sounds like too much effort.”

I grinned. “You could play with Bailey. Here, she
comes.”

Vaughn didn’t even glance at the arriving blonde
who threw her hands in the air.

“I got dumped again! Men suck! I hate them all!”
she cried, enjoying a hug from Tawny. “Who wants to set me up now?”

“I thought you hated men,” Tucker mumbled with his
mouth full of a hot dog.

“I do, but one of them has got to work, right?
Everyone in the world gets someone good, but I get shit. It’s not fair. I’m
nicer than anyone ever.”

This comment elicited laughter from the crew
including Vaughn who took my bowling ball and rolled it for me.

“Look,” he said,” you got a strike. I’m an
excellent teacher.”

“Best ever.”

Vaughn and I eyed each other, thinking the same
thing. Could we make a go of it and become a couple like everyone around us? We
came to the same conclusion.
Never going to happen.
While I thought
Vaughn was gorgeous, I felt the same way about the Johansson brothers and Judd.
Besides gorgeous, they didn’t interest me. Only Aaron interested me, but I
couldn’t have a single conversation with him.

Vaughn glanced over at a happy Bailey who loved all
of the attention and pity she received after getting dumped. He was thinking if
he could make something with her. Based on his eye roll, she wasn’t an option
either.

Noticing Vaughn’s fresh tattoo on the back of his
forearm, I had an idea.

“Where did you get your tat?”

“Aaron’s shop. You want to get a tat?” he asked,
grinning as if this was hilarious.

“I have one,” I said, rolling the ball into the
gutter. “It’s not finished though.”

“How come?”

“My brother interrupted the tattoo and I never had
the money to get it done again.”

“No, I meant how come you’re such a bad bowler? Is
it genetic?” he asked. “Like do you come from a long line of people who can’t
make a ball roll in a straight line?”

“You’re hilarious.”

“I try, Pixie Dust.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“How come?” he said, grinning wider now.

“I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. Chicks love when I give
them nicknames. One of them got a tattoo of the name I gave her. Do you want to
know where she put that tat?”

Laughing, I shook my head. “Is it expensive to get
a tat at Aaron’s shop? I hear he’s good and I’d like someone to fix it that
won’t make it worse.”

“Let me see your tat!” Bailey cried, suddenly
behind me. “Wait, it’s not on your ass, is it?”

“No.”

“Hooch?”

“No.”

“Titty tas?” Glaring at her, I waited until her
smile faded. “Are you really mad?” she asked, panicking now.

“No, I just wanted to mess with you.”

“Oh, well, thank you for that learning experience.”

Vaughn and I laughed, but Bailey was busy yanking
at my shirt to look for the tattoo.

“It’s a tramp stamp,” I said to keep her from pulling
up my shirt in a public place.

“Oh, I have one of those. Mine is classy though.
It’s Hello Kitty.”

Instead of responding to her classy comment, I
prepared for the teasing as I lowered the back of my jeans just enough to display
my wingless butterfly.

“What a pretty worm,” Bailey said, doing her fake
nice thing again.

“My stepbrother showed up and made the guy stop. My
stepdad doesn’t like tats and told me I couldn’t get one.”

“Men suck,” Bailey said, nodding supportively then
frowning at Vaughn. “Why do you suck so much? Too much ball toxins?”

“Sounds about right,” he muttered, rolling another
strike. “Girls get PMS. Guys get ball toxins. Common knowledge. Are you two
going to actually bowl? I’m the only one doing anything.”

Farah instantly rushed over and rolled a ball into
the gutter. “We’re participating. We like bowling.”

Bailey snorted. “Hell, I lie better than that.”

Cooper joined Farah and glanced at the alley. “I
could bowl, if I wanted. I just don’t want to.”

“Liar!” Bailey cried and Cooper faked like he might
backhand her. She just rolled her eyes. “He sucks. Worse bowler ever. Old
people bowl better. No offense to old people,” she added, looking at the nearby
league of senior citizens.

Cooper ignored Bailey and wrapped an arm around
Farah. “This is fun. I’m glad we’ve made a habit out of it.”

Vaughn frowned and his blue eyes darkened. “I’m not
a charity case, so you don’t need to play with me once a week to keep me from
bawling myself to sleep.”

“Sure, champ,” Cooper said then looked at me. “You
have a tattoo of a worm?”

“It’s supposed to be a butterfly,” I said as Bailey
turned me so her brother could enjoy my lame tat.

Cooper reached for the tat as if to run a finger
over it. Before he touched me, Farah smacked his hand lightly.

“Don’t touch other women,” she growled.

Glancing back at them, I saw Cooper get his horny
expression. I was apparently in the middle of a game they played.
Gross.

“Do you know how much it would cost to get it
fixed?” I asked as Cooper ran his finger over Farah’s pouting lips.

Without looking away for his wife’s face, Cooper
shook his head. “I’ll pay. Just tell Aaron I said what I said. He’ll be cool.”
As if a light bulb went off over his head, Cooper glanced at me. “You should go
soon. Very soon. Can’t leave it undone for much longer or it’ll get weird.
Yeah, go this week.”

Frowning, I noticed Bailey eyeing her brother. Her
blue eyes got wide and she nodded.

“Yes, soon. So soon. Well, maybe not too soon. I
don’t want to be alone.” When Tawny appeared next to her, Bailey decided to be nice
and said grudgingly. “Soon, I guess.”

“What are we talking about?” Tawny asked as Judd
rolled a ball, knocked over a few pins, then frowned like he might knock the
others over with his angry glare.

“Aaron’s going to fix her tat,” Bailey explained
while Cooper and Farah wandered off.

“He’s an artist,” Tawny cooed. “He made this angel
on Judd.”

After Tawny showed me Judd’s arm, she put her hand
back to where she had a gorgeous tattoo of a fallen angel.

“He’s very talented,” she added.

“I’m excited to get my butterfly finished.”

“He’ll do a great job,” Bailey reassured, taking a
ball from Vaughn and rolling it into the wrong alley. “Oops.”

“Idiot.”

“Be nice or I won’t be nice,” Bailey warned,
glaring up at him.

“I love feisty women,” he said, smirking down at
her.

“Not interested. Blond men are usually stupid. Just
look at my brothers. Anyway, I don’t want a dumbass loser. I want a smartass
winner.”

“You deserve nothing less,” I said and Bailey
smiled at me like I was amazing.

I did feel amazing. Not only would my tattoo get fixed,
but I also had an excuse to talk to Aaron. I didn’t know if Aaron would enjoy
the conversation as much as I did, but fate was no longer standing in my way.

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