Dakota Love (60 page)

Lil scooted closer to the love seat arm, hoping Walt read the pleading in her eyes. “Don’t. I need to finish.” Her ragged breath vibrated through her chest, shaking her shoulders.

“So he didn’t react well when you told him that you were a protestor.” Dropping his arms, Walt rested his hands against the dark denim of his overalls.

Though the expression on his face changed subtly, the love in his eyes never wavered, making her confession even harder. If only they’d flash with hate now, the rest of the story would be so much easier to tell.

“He ranted on and on about how people like me were ungrateful to the men keeping them safe, while the men were losing their lives or limbs in a foreign land. He beat his fists on the mattress, he was so frustrated he couldn’t move. He asked for his ring back.”

Lil paused and contemplated the toes of her worn sneakers as she gathered her emotions to finish. Surprisingly, it was getting easier.

“I didn’t give it back right away. I thought he’d cool off and realize how much he loved me. I mean, love can conquer all, right?” The sardonic laugh gurgled out, echoing through the trailer.

“Lil, it can.”

Leveling Walt with the most skeptical look she could muster, Lil cleared her throat.

“After a week, I finally took the ring off and laid it on the bed tray. I asked to be reassigned to a different ward or at least a different section of that ward but student nurses don’t hold much weight with a seasoned head nurse. So day after day, I had to bedside nurse Larry while he called me all the names protestors shouted at him.”

Nerves bounced her right leg to the beat of her pounding heart. “One morning I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d had enough. I’d apologized to him, told him I’d changed my mind and ways but I also couldn’t erase what I’d done. He spat out that he’d never forgive me and neither would God.”

“That’s just not true, Lil. God forgives…”

Lil managed a weak smile at Walt’s jumping to her and God’s defense. “I asked him to stop calling me names. I laid his safety razor and mirror on his bed tray, filled a small washpan with water, and said I’d be right back to clean up the mess. Of course, I said it in quite a different tone and volume.”

The pounding in her chest and ears grew louder and her head began to ache. “I didn’t go right back. Instead I went outside to cool off. I still loved him, you know,” she said, her voice lower in volume until it trailed off into a whisper.

“After fifteen minutes, I went back inside, intending to apologize. He was sick in body and I found out as soon as I entered his room, in spirit, too.” Emotion shook her voice as the memory of that day made her hands tremble.

She turned water-filled eyes to Walt. “I messed up. I shouldn’t have left him alone. I should have stayed and made sure he used that razor blade for what it was intended.”

All the shame and blame of that day lifted from her shoulders as soon as the words left her lips.

When Walt’s strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her to his side, he held her tight. Lil didn’t pull away, but leaned into him, letting his warmth and love seep into her, making her feel safe. She lifted her arms, hands closing on Walt’s forearm like she’d hold a bar for a chin-up, and squeezed.

“Lil, none of that was your fault.” Walt’s voice was tender yet stern. “You need to forgive yourself.”

She nodded against his arm, the rough divots of his thermal shirt scratching across her face.

“I think we should pray.” Walt kissed the top of her head.

L
il, I don’t understand why you can’t stay.” Walt stood beside her pickup while she checked the fifth wheel connection to make sure it was secure.

“For the last time, we need some space to make sure this is the real thing, not false feelings that grew just because we were stuck together.” She stepped over the connection and sidled up to Walt.

The rolling gray clouds threatened to start dumping snow on them at any minute.

“My feelings aren’t phony. They are real.” Walt’s words huffed out in puffs of vapor hanging in the air a minute before disappearing. He entwined his hand with hers.

“It’s only six months. I’ll be back by Easter.” Lil flipped up the collar of her coat to keep the wind from breezing down her back. “You don’t have very good weather for your Veterans Day parade.”

“We’ve marched down the street in snow before. Can’t you at least stay through today?”

Shaking her head, Lil pursed her lips. “That’d only make it harder.”

“Good.” Walt pulled her into a side hug and kissed the top of her stocking cap.

“I’m making one more check inside the camper to be sure everything is secured; then it’s good-bye.” Her last words whispered from her lips. Walt thought this was easy for her, but it wasn’t. She just wanted to be sure this time. Walt needed time to consider all that she’d told him. He may have a change of heart without all the happiness of love fuzzing his thoughts.

“All right. I have some snacks in the house for you. I’ll go get them.”

Walt slammed the passenger door closed as Lil exited the camper door. Minutes later, package stored in the passenger seat, he met her beside the driver’s side door.

“I hope you miss me.”

His hand tremored and Lil suspected it didn’t have much to do with the below-freezing temperatures.

She wrapped her gloved hand around his bare one. “I’m already missing you.”

“Then stay.” Walt pulled her into a tight embrace. “My feelings aren’t going to change.” He held her at arm’s length and looked into her eyes. The intense emotion that shone from them touched her deep within her soul. Her heart cried,
“Stay,”
but she planned to follow her head this time.

“Six months isn’t that long. We can talk on the phone, e-mail—”

“Miss three holidays together,” Walt protested. “If you stay, then we won’t have to feel like the fifth wheel anymore.”

It was getting too hard. Lil took a step forward and cupped Walt’s face in her hands. “I’ll miss you and I love you. I know you don’t agree, but this short separation is for the best. It’ll give us some time and space to figure out our feelings.”

“I don’t have to—”

Lil touched her lips to Walt’s, stopping him mid-sentence. Her heart swelled with love as Walt returned her kiss.

“I love you, too.” Walt’s voice was thick and husky as he held her tight, running his fingers through the hair sticking out of the back of her stocking cap.

Lil pushed away. She pointed to the sky. “I’d better get started.”

She walked to the pickup, ignoring her heart’s urging to look back. The pickup roared to life and she pulled around the small circle of the driveway where Walt stood, his one hand held up in a wave.

She avoided looking out her side mirrors until she was on the interstate heading south. She hoped she was doing the right thing. A few weeks wasn’t a long enough time to fall in love. She was doing the right thing, wasn’t she?

Lil rubbed her chest where her heart ached. After a few miles she hoped that pain would subside. Usually she was giddy with excitement for her trip to Texas, but today not so much.
Maybe it’s just the damp, dismal weather making me feel this way
.

“And the truth will set you free.”

The irony in her thoughts brought out a smile. “It’s not the weather. It’s leaving Walt.”

She put her hand down on the bench seat and brushed the corner of cardboard. She glanced over at the three-by-two-foot box. How many snacks did Walt think she needed? Had he packed food in case she was caught in a blizzard?

Lil flipped open a long and short flap of the lid and put her hand to feel around for what Walt had packed. Tissue paper rustled and her hand sank into something soft. A pillow?

She tried to peer into the box while she drove, but all she could see was tissue paper. She patted across the paper, the package’s contents still soft. She tried lifting it with one hand, but it was too heavy and awkward.

Curiosity getting the best of her, Lil signaled to take the approaching exit. She slowed on the off ramp then checked her mirrors. No one was behind her, so at the stop sign she pushed the gear into P
ARK
.

Pulling the box closer, she tore the tissue paper away and gasped. “Walt, my dear, sweet Walt.” Blurry eyed, Lil ran her hands across the yellow fabric with white flowers, the worn pastel flour sack as familiar to her as her own embroidered lilac quilt.

She lifted the Lily of the Field quilt and buried her face in it. How in the world did Walt get Caroline to part with it?

There was only one way to find out. She pulled the pickup into gear. Checking both ways, she turned to go over the overpass and get back onto the interstate going north.

That man! That wonderful, wonderful man. Why on earth was she running from him? Thankful the posted speed limit was seventy-five miles an hour, she realized that the fifteen minutes she’d been away from his side was fifteen minutes too long.

Tapping her fingers against the steering wheel, time seemed to stand still. Just when her patience was running out, she saw the hotel and RV campsite sign standing high on iron poles.

Lil braked at the stop sign, sending a silent prayer for a clear path as she pulled onto the blacktop and made the half-mile trip to Walt’s driveway.

She saw him slowly walking around the outer drive of the RV park. His back was to her. She thought about honking the horn but didn’t want to startle him or cause him to stumble.

Forgetting about the bumpy ruts, Lil bounced through the driveway at the same speed she’d entered on Walt’s first day home. The fifth wheel lurched and jerked. Lil took her foot from the gas and checked her side mirrors. The camper straightened. When Lil looked out the windshield, Walt cut catty-corner across the camper site, hurrying toward her.

Stopping the pickup in the middle of the driveway, Lil slid from the driver’s seat and ran to Walt’s wide-open arms.

“How on earth did you get Caroline to part with that quilt?” She threw her arms around Walt’s neck.

“I can be very persuasive.” He hugged her back. “I guess this means you’re pleased with your gift.”

Lil tilted her head back so she could see Walt’s handsome face. “Very pleased. But you know I’ll return it to Lily.”

“That was the plan. Caroline and Rodney felt it should go back to its rightful owner.” Walt dipped his head and kissed her cheek.

“I need to thank them.”

“I hope not in the same way you’re thanking me.” Mischief danced in Walt’s hazel eyes.

Lil raised her brow at him.

“Well, they’ll be at the parade this morning. If you think you can stay…”

“I’m not going to Texas. I don’t need any time to figure this out. I love you, Walt.”

Walt’s deep kiss took her breath away.

“Let’s get your camper set up and then get into town for the parade.”

Arms wrapped around each other, they headed for Lil’s pickup.

“I think I’m going to have to get some bigger speed limit signs, now you’re sticking around, Speedy.”

Lil laughed out loud.

Once her camper was set up in the best camp spot in Walt’s lot, he changed into his uniform.

Sitting beside Mark, Sarah, Rodney, and Caroline, waiting for the parade to begin, Lil didn’t feel like a fifth wheel at all. As the color guard led the parade, Lil stood and placed her hand over her heart.

Her
solider carried the American flag with a step as spry as that of the young man who’d proudly served his country.