I jumped as the bathroom door flew open. I was surprised to find Heather standing in the entrance.
She looked me up and down. “You look like shit.”
“Yeah.” I picked up my books and turned for the door.
She blocked my exit. She eyed me sideways. She was taller than me, and though she was chunky, she was thinner than me by at least two dress sizes. All that black gave her a dark edge. If I were human, I wouldn’t get in her way. “Hands off, Jayden. You got me?” Her lips pinched together; her nostrils flared with warning. It was a loose brow quirked upwards that told me the growl in her voice was nothing close to her menacing capacity.
I nodded my head in agreement.
It was only after she assessed me for another thirty seconds that she moved.
I rushed out of the bathroom. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know where to go, just like last night. So again, I just walked. I walked and walked, lost in my head, lost in the concerns that consumed me.
How did things get so bad? What happened all those years ago to send my dad running from the pack? I wasn’t foolish enough to believe it wasn’t his fault, that he hadn’t done something wrong. Watching him flounder and fail at job after job showed me sides to his character I was oblivious to prior.
No
, I was sheltered from it before. I spent much of my time with the pack women, who had welcomed me into their homes regularly, treating me as one of their own. They’d filled a void I didn’t realize I had until my dad stole me from them, until he dragged me away in the dead of night into the flames of hell. That’s what this was: hell. It felt like it anyways, in comparison to life with the pack.
I missed them. I missed the companionship. I missed family dinners. I missed frolicking through the woods playing chase with the other wolves. I missed catching fish in the stream with the other pack
young. I missed the way it was. I wasn’t ignorant enough to believe that returning would be enough, even if they did miraculously accept me. I was a different person. That carefree, spirited little wolf I used to be was dead. She died the first time my father abused me… one week after we fled from heaven.
Chapter 12
Dominick
She was lost in thought. She ambled around with no purpose, oblivious to her surroundings. She was running. I could tell she was trying to evade our situation and whatever tumultuous thoughts
were dominating her mind.
My anger warred with concern inside me
, eventually losing out. This wasn’t normal wolf behavior. She couldn’t belong to a pack. There wasn’t another pack for thirty miles. It was one of the reasons my dad chose this city. We would have our space, as much as one could have in a city anyways.
I stared ahead at her. She kept her head down most of the time, using her other senses to avoid colliding with anyone. That
alone was odd. It didn’t matter that you weren’t an alpha. Putting your head down left the back of your neck open for another wolf to latch on with its teeth and easily dominate you. Though we had a leader, an ultimate Dom, we were all headstrong and powerful. We didn’t embrace vulnerability, yet, she was. I hated it. It made me want to permanently walk behind her, protectively hovering.
“What are you- Oh.” Kris came up beside me. “Just a heads up,
Amber’s on the prowl for you. I guess whatever dickwad she was with finally dumped her and she’s on the rebound hard.”
“Great,” I clipped. Amber had been a one-week mistake. It’d taken exactly one week for me to realize she was a type-A clinger. Drama surrounded her wherever she went. She started it. She thrived off of it between slowly sucking the life out of any guy stupid enough to date her. There was a five-calls-a-day minimum from her and double
that in texts.
Funny how one girl was all too ready to harass me, but the one I wanted wouldn’t even look my way.
Kris and I watched her, maintaining our distance as she meandered around. “She didn’t eat,” I announced. Wolves never skipped meals. We were ravenous creatures with an unmatched appetite.
“You offered,” he said, excusing any responsibility I might feel. It didn’t matter though. She was my responsibility. She always would be. She was my mate.
I cut my eyes at him, lightly shaking my head negatively, letting him in on my viewpoint.
He sighed. “Alright, man. I don’t know what the hell you’re-” he gestured wildly with his hands in my general direction- “feeling towards her, I just hope you two can work it out. I don’t do girly drama.”
I lifted a brow. “Girly drama?”
He frowned. “Don’t be a dick. I’m being nice.”
I snickered. “That’s nice?”
He rolled his eyes. “She’s distracted. Now’s the best time to slip in undetected.”
“Hey, I’m the alpha here. I can make my own decisions.”
He gave me that look, the one that asked, “Are you ever going to stop reiterating your future title?”
I sighed. “I’m going.” Not because he suggested it though. Because I wanted her; I wanted to get to know her. Hell, I wanted to at least know her name.
I
strolled up to her, being as quiet as possible, trying to align my footsteps with other students nearby in case she was more alert than originally anticipated. A predatory smirk curled my lips. She was mine.
I inhaled her intoxicating scent a
s I drew closer to her. I got lost in the sway of her hips as she traveled the halls aimlessly. Her book bag tugged snug on her shoulders, forcing her posture to be near perfect.
I closed the distance between us undetected. Feeling sprite, needing to touch her, to hold her, needing to calm the itch in my hands, the harsh roar of my wolf to caress her, I snaked my arms around her waist from the back left side of her to avoid her overstuffed backpack.
She jumped, shaking violently as my hands clasped around her. Her heart and pulse hammered wildly in conjunction. Shudders, un-normal convulsing, wracked her, prompting me to let go of her.
My wolf even stood back to assess her.
The pile of books in her arms quivered under the intensity of her fright.
I immediately regretted my rash decision. I jerked my fingers through my hair. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She faced forward, away from me, as if she were frozen despite her quaking body. She mashed her lips together, trying to control her expression.
I studied her profile, immediately knowing there was more to it.
The need to protect her surged to the surface, shoving all other reactions away.
She took quick, shallow breaths, her chest stuttering with every swift inhalation. Worry weighed me down, kept my gaze locked on her. I couldn’t look away in fear of missing something vital, something important; some little slip that revealed it
all, that exposed a hidden piece of her.
My features twisted as I continued to witness her demise. She was slowly falling apart while trying desperately to hold herself together. She was steadily unraveling yet anxiously struggling not to crumble in front of anyone.
My heart broke for her. She wanted to be so strong, but just…wasn’t.
“Hey.” I lowered my voice to a soft, soothing tone. “Hey, sweetie. I’m sorry.”
She bit down hard on her lower lip, nodding her head profusely in quick, short strokes.
I ached for her. Damn. What the hell had happened to strip her to the bare, vulnerable wolf she was today?
Chapter 13
Sophie
He was persistent. He was being so sweet even as I overreacted to a simple hug. Wolves liked to touch their mates. They were naturally drawn towards each other; instinctually, they grabbed for each other as often as possible, seeking the warmth they knew they’d always find.
I wasn’t giving him that. Already I was failing as his mate.
…because I was a failure at everything.
“
Can’t you do anything right?!” he snarled, slamming his fist down on the table.
Insecurities weaved through my chest, constricting my ragged breaths further as he continued to watch me attentively. I felt closed in; trapped. Suddenly, it seemed like the walls were closing in on me, like every eye in the vicinity was on me, watching me slowly fall apart in front of the person I knew would one day mean more to me than any other.
I just wasn’t ready for him now though.
I chanced a glance at him over my shoulder. A pained expression was on his face; hurt, but worse, fear, swam in
his eyes. Was he afraid of me? Was he afraid of what was happening? Was he afraid I would never be the mate he needed?
I swallowed hard. It was torture facing him, looking up into those big brown eyes knowing I put the emotions that were visible there. “I was fine before you came along. Why can’t you just stay away?” I heard the plea in my voice, but couldn’t feel self-conscious about it. “Before you, I didn’t feel.
You…you cracked me open.” I clenched my teeth, seething over fate’s timing, fighting the emotions welling within me. “I’m not the emotional wreck you see. At least, I’m not supposed to be. I know that. I wasn’t… I mean… I’m not that person.” I inhaled speedily, sharply. Lowering my voice to a whisper, I stated, “I’m not that wolf.”
And then, h
e did something amazing. He did something that ripped my heart open. He did something my dad had never done; no man in my life had ever done.
Slowly, carefully, he brushed the back of his hand along my cheek. He looked me in the eye and stated the impossible. “I know.”
My wolf howled, whimpering as I tore myself from his touch. I closed my eyes, angling my head down and away from him. I felt my heart darkening as I forced the words out of my mouth. “Then you know not to wait for me.”
“I’m not giving up on you.
” His declaration was a low, tight growl.
I wanted to smile. I wanted to dance in the rain, prance beneath the full moon. Those were words I’d longed to hear. He, himself, was someone I’d longed to find in the future.
Not now though. I wasn’t ready for him yet. He deserved the woman I was confident I could be in five years. He deserved the woman I would become, not the scared, wimpy girl I was.
It was a challenge to
not look back at him. It was so difficult to take those steps away from him, but I knew it was necessary. He deserved someone better. He couldn’t be the only one to see the potential in his mate. He was a future alpha. Everyone had to see his mate’s strong character; no one would ever respect a weak wolf. No one would ever regard a weak wolf with any authority. He would destroy his reputation by being with me. And, as much as I hated to admit it, I cared about him too much already to ever allow him to do that. This was my way of protecting him, of saving him from the embarrassment. It was my way of showing I cared.
Chapter 14
Dominick
Watching her walk away and not giving chase was the closest I’d ever felt to heartbreak
since my mom died. It gave me a sliver of understanding as to what my dad endured in the days following my mom’s death. I finally comprehended some of the debilitating pain that swallowed him. I got why he broke from the pack and maliciously killed the hunter who’d taken her life for sport. I didn’t like it, but I accepted his decision to move the pack to the city, leaving the past behind with our old town.
It was easier to walk away than to face what you’d never have again every day. It was simpler to evade the harrowing pain of reminders, of memories around every corner.
But my mate was alive. She was turning away from possibility rather than memories. She was abandoning opportunity to avoid sharing her secrets. Of that I was certain. She had secrets. She was hiding something, perhaps someone with the way she denied every touch I attempted.
“Feel like a dejected stalker
perv yet?” Kris aimed for humor but I wasn’t in the mood for it. There was no way I could smile without her.
Shit.
Did she mean that much to me already? I barely knew her. In fact, I didn’t know her at all. But she still meant something to me. She was still a vital part of my life.
“
Let’s go,” I snapped, stomping towards next period, where I would be tortured by her presence.
~*~
I drowned out every teacher, ignoring all lessons. My books were blank pages as my mind drifted back to her every chance it got. My eyes sought her. My wolf demanded I focus on her. My world revolved around her in every available capacity. She’d taken over without so much as giving her damn name.
I sprung from my seat the second the dismissal bell rang. I was at her side before she could e
scape me. I couldn’t explain what came over me. I just needed to be near her. “Let me carry your books.”
Carry your books? What the hell kind of line was that?
She looked to Kris before flicking her gaze to me. Wariness swam in the depths of her beautiful eyes. “It’s always going to be something, isn’t it?”
“Huh?” I felt my features turn down.
She stood, shoving the straps of her bag over her shoulders. “You’ll find a reason to come around every time, won’t you?” It was a statement, not a question. She knew. She understood my drive, yet she still wasn’t returning it.