Cursed (16 page)

School was boring the next day until my sister
followed me into the bathroom, “Okay spill. Who is everyone talking
about? Whose the hottie?” I had been leaning against the sink doing
deep breaths trying to get past the side stitch I seemed to have
constantly where my liver was located. I thought about what I had
eaten for lunch and knew the salad couldn’t have been the issue. I
was contemplating going to the doctor and upon hearing her voice I
straightened harshly nearly dying from pain. I felt a small amount
of sweat creep along my brow.

She started primping herself in the mirror. She
was a wearing a tiny outfit I couldn’t quite classify, “Is that a
mini dress?” I scowled at her ignoring her questions.

She held her arms out beaming like I had
complimented it or cared about fashion for even a second, “You like
it. I got it a few weeks ago but haven’t felt like wearing it but
today felt like the right moment.” It was silver like her eyes and
puffy at the bottom but super short showing off her long lean legs.
It was a skirt and shirt, the shirt was pale pink over top of the
same silver as the skirt, she had a jean jacket, strappy sandals,
and a purple scarf on. The outfit was amazing but a little over the
top for twelfth grade in a town that was famous for fishing and
forestry.

I rolled my eyes at her looking at my plain blue
jeans and grey three quarter sleeve cotton shirt, she grimaced, “Do
you have to wear that kind of stuff out of the house. It looks like
pajamas.” She plucked at my shirt leaving an indent in the cotton.
I frowned at her and shook my head.

I washed my hands and pulled my lip-gloss out of
my pockets, “Here use some of my lipstick.” She offered.

I shook my head backing away a little, “Uh no
thanks. I know where your mouth has been firstly and secondly the
last time you got to play west coast Barbie with me some freak
tried to kill me. I’m good with plain gloss and its subtle hint of
pink.”

She rolled her eyes at me, “God you are a drama
queen. It was Giselle he was after not you. You just got in the way
like always.”

I didn’t usually let her get to me but that hurt
a little. I raised my eyebrows at her and started to walk away but
she grabbed my arm, “Ok that was mean. Anyway who is this hottie
you were spotted with?”

I pulled my arm out of her grip, “Some guy I met
at the library. He’s working here for a few weeks, we were talking
books, and you know, fellow nerd.”

She shook her head, “No not him the one you were
at the café with. Everyone has been talking about him since
yesterday. Who is that one?”

I sighed, “That’s him.”

She looked at herself again, “You know I like
these geeks you hang out with. How are the geeks all hot?”

I shook my head and walked out of the bathroom,
“See ya.” She still hadn’t apologized for dating Blake even when
she had told me she wouldn’t so I had decided we didn’t need to be
friends right that instant. I felt miserable and contemplated going
back to the hospital to get them to check me out incase things were
not healing the way we had assumed they would.

I walked from class hearing my phone going nuts
again. I pulled it out and looked at the thirty-five messages I
hadn’t read in the last few days. I looked at how many were from
Blake, he was begging to talk to me. I bit the bullet and asked him
to meet me at our math class right away.

I walked thinking about Shane and the great kiss
and Aleks and the amazing walk on the pier and didn’t know which to
pick. I wondered when either of them would see me for the little
nerd I was and back out. Maybe they would both go and things would
go back to normal. I didn’t want either of them to go but I felt my
studies slipping as all I thought about was them. I still had no
explanation for what was going on with Aleks and how it was I had
seen him. It was frustrating to have this many questions without
any answers. I was starting to feel like one of those girls who
doodled her first name with the last name of the boy she liked
instead of listening in class and learning. I shuddered at the
thought.

I got to the class to find him sitting at the
bench beside class in the hall.

Blake was wearing a t-shirt with a Jesus fish on
it with legs and a tail, the Darwin symbol. I laughed when I saw
him. He was bent over his ipad and smiling to himself.

“Guild chats?” I asked.

He smiled, “You know it. We are arguing about
whether having an Allie character is traitorous.”

I laughed, “Absolutely but I will admit I did
for scientific purposes once, I wanted to see where all their
secrets were and what the starts were like.”

He nodded contemplating what I was saying and
started typing again.

He closed the Ipad and put it in his backpack.
He looked at me, “I need to tell you something and I need you to
just listen to the whole thing before you slap me, leave and never
speak to me again.

I nodded, “Sounds reasonable.”

He sat on the bench beside the class and put his
head in his hands. I sat on the bench across the hall from him.

He sighed, clearly struggling with whatever he
needed to say, “Look, the night of the party you and I went and sat
in the sunroom at Shane’s house it was the make out room, kind
weird. Anyway we were sitting there and you decided at that moment
to tell me you loved me. I was shocked, I had no idea. I handled it
badly because the truth was I had been in love with your sister
forever. I didn’t feel the same way but I love you in a different
way and when me and Alise break up which we both know will happen
anyway I always thought you and I would still be friends.”

My jaw hung open the entire time he spoke, I
panted slightly. I was humiliated and speechless. I had no idea how
to respond to the conversation.

He continued, “I never would have acted on my
feelings for her if I thought for a minute that you and I would
stop being friends. I always thought you were in love with Shane. I
saw the way you watched him, it was the same look I always got when
I saw your sister. I thought maybe things with you and Shane would
work out and we could all be friends but now I see that isn’t
likely to happen. It’s my fault you went and drank with Giselle,
it’s my fault you drank poison, it’s my fault that everything is
the way it is.” He sighed still holding his face and unable to look
at me.

I closed my mouth and pressed my lips together.
I went to speak but chewed my bottom lip instead. I couldn’t
comprehend all of this at this moment. I felt humiliated.

I felt my wall come up, I just couldn’t cope
with anything else, “Blake you have been my best friend my whole
life, I wasn’t in love with you like I thought I was. I don’t
remember saying that to you but it makes sense now why I went and
drank with Giselle. I am sorry I told you that because I am not
sure we could ever come back from the place we are now. It’s not
that you handled it badly or that everything is your fault, I don’t
feel that way. But I don’t respect guys who love my sister, she is
the opposite of everything that I am and want in my life. If you
love her then you are a person I don’t know.” I would have stood
and walked away but I couldn’t because my legs were stuck.

“Aims can you understand animal lust?” He
whispered in desperation, his eyes were broken in a way I had never
seen on his face.

I nodded, “Yup. I can now.”

He shook his head, “I’m a fraud and I know it
but for once I want what the other kids have. I want to be part of
the in crowd, I want to be liked. I’m tired of being that nerd.
Your sister is beautiful and I want to have a beautiful girlfriend
for once.”

His words stung, “I need to go, tell Mr. Milton
I was sick okay.”

“You like Shane even though he dated your
sister. Please forgive me Aimee.”

I ran down the hall before he could catch up
with me and ran through the doors to the front of the school. I ran
down the driveway and out onto the road. My side hurt a lot but I
kept going. His words burned into my mind. I knew I was smarter and
more confident than this fleeing crying girl I seemed to be
pretending to be but I needed to be away from him.

I hated my sister so much. I walked to my mom’s
spot and sat on the side of the road and looked at the mark I made
in the tree. I clutched my side panting slightly. The pain had
grown so much in the past few days. I wondered about going back to
the doctor but I was terrified to go back. I knew he was going to
tell me I needed to go to children’s with Giselle and be on the
donor list.

I looked around me waiting for the wind to
come.

I didn’t even know what to say to my mom, I just
knew I needed her. Her wind was gone, “Mom please come back. I’m
sorry I was gone for so long. Please don’t leave me now.”
Everything hurt so much, my heart my side and even my head a
little.

“Aimee?” I turned to see Aleks walking toward
me. He looked concerned.

I started to cry, “I used to feel her here. She
came and wrapped the wind around me. But she’s gone now, I was gone
for too long and she left me.”

He sat on the ground beside me and wrapped his
arms around me. His warmth pulled me into him as I sobbed. He
rocked me slightly and smoothed my hair whispering, “It’s
okay.”

I started to feel better, I seemed to relax
around him and my body responded to his making all of the pains
vanish. He was a stranger but somehow I felt closer to him than I
had any other person in my life.

I shook my head; “It’s not okay because I’m not
ready. I need her still.”

“Maybe she went to heaven Aimee. Maybe she is
with the angels now.”

I shook my head, “No she was here for me for
eight months and I almost never needed her but in the last month I
have needed her more than ever and now she’s gone. Why now?”

Aleks never answered he just tried to soothe me
while I tried to get my frustration’s out. I started to feel
better, my chemical response to Aleks stopped my body from noticing
my pain everywhere else.

“Aimee what are some things you need to ask your
mom?”

I thought for a moment, “Why did you leave
me?”

“How will I know how to be a woman without
you?”

“What if I can’t remember what you look like in
five years or I forget your smell?”

“What if I can’t get past this and I ruin the
rest of my life?”

“Did you know you loved dad from the moment you
met him?”

“Is safe love better than true love or are they
the same thing sometimes?”

“I don’t know what I want to be anymore, I feel
like if I choose sciences completely I will lose the part of me
that is you.”

“Where did you hide the last jar of grandma’s
pickled beets?”

He started laughing, “What?”

I snorted my face was so full of tears, “We made
a promise that we would only eat them when we were together so she
hid the jars so I couldn’t eat them without her. But before we got
to eat the last one she died. I still can’t find it and my dad and
I have scoured the house.”

Aleks laughed harder, “You are the most
intriguing person I have ever met. Ready to move on and walk a
little ways?”

I nodded, ‘your butt must be getting sore.”

He gave me the crooked grin, “It is actually,
your weight and mine is too much to take on concrete.”

We walked along the roadside kicking rocks
toward the ditch.

“Tell me about your mom.” I asked trying to
distract myself, I felt foolish crying in front of him the way I
had.

He smiled, “She was the most amazing mom ever,
she made me feel loved every day. She was a very giving person. I
only hope that I was able to be someone she was proud of. Now why
were you so upset when I came upon you?”

I shook my head, “I think it’s like the feelings
I’ve had over the last little while all coming to a head, like I am
coming to the end of a long journey and I have to unpack from
it.”

“That’s an amazing analogy. I like that about
you, you’re able to articulate what it is you’re trying to say and
then make a visual so the person listening gets a full picture of
what you’re talking about.”

I laughed, “That’s because my sister doesn’t
read books without pictures so I have to always have a visual
comparison available or she will get lost.”

We walked until we got my house.

“Want to come in and meet my dad?” I asked
hoping to have more time with him.

He shook his head, “No I need to get going, and
I was actually walking in the other direction when you distracted
me.”

I laughed, “I’m sorry.”

Just as he was about to say goodbye my sisters
car pulled into the driveway and she was out and flashing her smile
before I could push him and shout run for it.

“Well well you must be the mystery man. I’m
Alise, Aimee’s older sister.” She put her hand out for him to take
like she were the queen. He turned her hand in his and shook
it.

“Hi I’m Aleksander. It was nice meeting you, see
you later Aimee.” He let go of her hand but smiled at me and walked
away quickly.

We watched in silence as he walked hastily away
from us. When he was out of sight Alise smiled, “Oh my god they
weren’t kidding he is hot. Wow, he looks like a celebrity. I feel
so relaxed around him, like I know him from somewhere.” She licked
her lips, “He seemed to not really notice me though hey. Maybe I’ll
see if I can catch up with him. Maybe he wants a ride.” She winked
at me and ran back to her car.

She started it and drove off in the direction he
went. I wanted to strangle her but I went inside and ate coconut
milk ice cream instead.

I wished everyone could see her the way I
did.

Blake sent a text asking if I was going to the
party later. I ignored the message and watched the history channel,
it was about the Tudors.