Read Crouching Buzzard, Leaping Loon Online
Authors: Donna Andrews
Tags: #Women detectives, #Mystery & Detective, #General, #Langslow; Meg (Fictitious character), #Women Sleuths, #Fiction, #Humorous, #Psychotherapists, #Receptionists, #Computer games
Crouching Buzzard, Leaping Loon (27 page)
„What's the problem?“ We looked up to see Liz standing a few feet away, looking anxious.
„It's that fan again,“ Frankie said.
„She was attempting to enter the building, disguised as a cleaning woman,“ I said. „Do you think we can charge her with trespassing?“
„We can't possibly charge all the persistent fans with trespassing,“ Liz said.
„I don't see why not, but never mind,“ I said. „This one's more than a fan.“
I handed Liz exhibit A in the case against Mata Hari. She studied the photo and our captive.
„I'm not a prosecutor, but I suggest we call the police and see what they can do,“ she said finally.
„I already did,“ I said.
„Wait a minute,“ the intruder protested. „You don't understand. I was just – “
„And someone be sure to jot down anything she says,“ Liz added. „Some of it may prove useful in court.“
The intruder stopped protesting.
„By the way,“ Liz said, motioning for me to follow her out into the hall. „While the chief is here, do you think you could find out if he's learned anything about our other unwanted visitor?“
„Other unwanted visitor?“ I said, drawing a blank. „Oh, you mean Eugene, the disgruntled employee.“
„Eugene Mason,“ she said, glancing over to make sure the door was closed. „Yes.“
„I meant to ask – what's he so disgruntled about, anyway?“
„It's completely ridiculous,“ Liz said. „He signed a noncom-pete agreement when he came on board. Standard practice; all the staff do. And part of the exit interview is that he's supposed to initial the agreement to confirm that he understands the terms and will abide by them. And he won't.“
„Why not?“
„He claims that the agreement is too onerous, and the copy we have on file isn't what he signed.“
„I don't get it,“ I said. „He's phoning in threats and lurking around just because we asked him to initial something he doesn't want to initial?“
„He doesn't get his final paycheck until he initials the form,“ Liz said.
„Okay, now I get it,“ I said, frowning. „Isn't that a little harsh?“
„Not really,“ she said. „He knows a great deal about the
software architecture, not to mention our plans for future releases. We need to make absolutely sure he isn't going to peddle what he knows to one of our competitors – or if he does, that we've got the documentation we need to sue them. Or defend ourselves if he tries to sue us.“
„Is that likely?“ I asked.
She shrugged. „Depends,“ she said.
„Depends on what?“
„On whether he finds an attorney stupid enough to take his case,“ she said. „It'll never hold up in court – he can't even find his own copy of the noncompete agreement, which is probably why he's so off base about what it says. Of course, he claims someone stole it, for heaven's sake. At any rate, it's not very likely he'll get someone to take it on contingency, and so far he hasn't convinced anyone he's got the wherewithal to pay.“
„I almost think you enjoy these legal battles.“
„Of course not,“ she said, frowning. „I'd rather prevent them. But I do feel a certain satisfaction when I know I've done whatever needs to be done to take care of a problem. Which reminds me – according to your father, you're close to solving the murder.“
„I wish,“ I said. „Dad's an optimist. I'm a realist. I'm just trying to keep the chief from railroading Rob.“
„Wouldn't solving the case be the best way of doing that?“
„Naturally,“ I said, fighting back a yawn. „But that's easier said than done. I'm just trying to dig up enough dirt on enough people to convince the chief that Rob isn't the only one with a motive for killing Ted. As soon as I've accomplished that, I'll give up sleuthing so I can catch up on my sleep.“
She studied my face for a moment, then nodded. „Makes sense,“ she said. „I should get back to work.“
I followed her back into the reception area.
„Make sure the police know about as many of the trespassing incidents as possible,“ she said, and headed back to the library.
„Tough lady,“ Frankie said.
Why did I have a feeling he'd have said something shorter and less complimentary if I hadn't been there. Jack's face didn't give away anything; he just nodded and headed back to his desk, leaving Frankie to guard our captive.
So she was tough – did they really want one of their former coworkers to steal everything they'd been working on so hard and hand it to the competition? They were all so excited about their stock options – didn't they understand that the stock options weren't worth beans unless Mutant Wizards continued to prosper?
light suddenly dawned. I'd be willing to bet that Liz was the Iron Maiden on Ted's list. And what had Ted said about the Iron Maiden? I went back to my desk and fished in my drawer for the blackmail printout.
„No dice,“ read the notation beside the Iron Maiden. „Can't even get time of day.“
Made sense.
And what about Eugene Mason's claims that someone had stolen his copy of the agreement? What if someone had? What if Ted had stolen it, and Mason had found out, and Ted's murder was the result?
Next time Liz spotted Mason lurking outside, I'd have to go out and interrogate him, I decided. And I should study his personnel file, to see if perhaps he seemed to match any of the names on Ted's blackmail list.
The front door opened and the chief walked in, accompanied by several uniformed officers.
„That was fast,“ I said.
„We were already on our way over,“ the chief said.
I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that.
Admin
„Anything we can do for you?“ I said.
„You've done a great deal for us already, thank you,“ the chief said.
I frowned and looked more closely at him. Usually when people said something like that to me, they were being sarcastic. The chief seemed serious.
„How?“ I asked.
„That computer printout you gave us,“ the chief said. „That proved to be very useful. So what seems to be the trouble here?“
„We caught her trying to break in,“ I said, indicating the intruder.
I could tell Frankie really wanted to hang around, but now that I didn't need him for guard duty, I didn't think Jack would appreciate my keeping him from work, so I shooed him off. The chief took a short statement from me and then dispatched two of the uniformed officers to take her down to the station.
„Anything else we can do for you?“ the chief asked.
„That's about it,“ I said.
„Then we'd like to go back and talk to one of your staff, if you don't mind.“
„Of course not,“ I said.
Actually I minded plenty, but asking my permission was
obviously only a formality. The chief nodded pleasantly and went through the opening to the main part of the office, followed by a very young officer in a uniform that looked brand new.
What the devil, I thought, and flipped the phone to night mode so I could see what they were up to. The chief didn't look as if he wanted my company, but he didn't actually order me away, so I followed them into the main part of the office.
And all the way to the back corner, to Jack's cube.
„John Ransom,“ the chief said.
Jack looked up, saw the chief, and frowned. Then he saw me and removed the glasses he only wore when staring at a monitor.
„What can I do for you?“ he said.
„You're under arrest for the murder of Theodore Corrigan,“ the chief said. „Read him his rights, Sammy.“
„Yes, sir,“ the young officer said, reaching into his pocket.
„You've got to be kidding,“ I said. „What makes you think Jack is the killer?“
„like I said, that computer printout you brought us,“ the chief said. „We figured out from the date column that the day before his murder, Mr. Corrigan made an approach to his most recent potential blackmailing target – code named the Ninja.“
„And you think Jack's the Ninja?“ I said. I looked at Jack, who shrugged, leaned back in his chair, and lifted one eyebrow as he watched the young officer. Perhaps Sammy had never arrested anyone before – at least not for murder. He was still nervously patting and fumbling with his uniform pockets, apparently searching for his Miranda cue card.
„It all added up, once we determined he was the only really accomplished martial artist among our suspects,“ the chief said.
„Apart from me,“ I said. „Are you really discounting me as
a suspect purely on the strength of a few broken bones?“
„You don't have the same kind of motivation Mr. Ransom has,“ the chief said.
„And what motivation is that?“ I asked.
The chief smiled. „Let me use your computer for a minute,“ he said to Jack.
Jack hesitated.
„Okay if I save what I'm doing first?“ he asked.
The chief nodded magnanimously, and Jack's fingers rattled the keyboard rapidly for a few seconds.
„Be my guest,“ Jack said, standing up and taking a seat on the countertop at the back of the cube.
The chief sat down and hitched his chair up to the computer. He bobbed his head up and down several times, looking like one of those toy dogs with the nodding heads, until he found an angle that let him see the screen, and then he picked up the mouse and began laboriously moving it around the screen. We all leaned over to see what he was doing, except for Sammy, who was removing stray bits of paper from his wallet and staring at them, apparently hoping that one of them would turn out to be bis Miranda card.
„I could probably do that faster if you tell me what you want done,“ Jack suggested as the chief continued pecking keys and peering at the monitor. Faster, and no doubt with less danger to Jack's computer, I thought.
„No, our computer guy showed me how to do this,“ the chief said. „Aha! That's got it!“
A familiar, colorful graphic appeared on the screen: a cartoon gavel smashing down on a surface.
„You've started Lawyers from Hell,“ I said.
„No,“ the chief said. „I've started Nude Lawyers from Hell.“
„I stand corrected,“ I said, watching as tiny naked cartoon
figures began inarching across the screen. „What does either of them have to do with Ted's murder?“
„Watch this,“ the chief said.
He peered at the keyboard and pressed several keys.
The picture on screen changed. Strings sprouted from the wrists and ankles of the cartoon figures, as if they were puppets. The scene shifted, the way it does in a movie when the camera pulls back for a long shot. Now we could see the wooden frames from which the puppet strings hung, and a pair of hands moving the frames.
„What is this?“ I asked. I thought I'd seen every possible sequence in the game, more times than I wanted to imagine – but I'd never seen this.
„It's an Easter egg,“ Jack said.
„What's that?“
„That's what they call it when one of these programmer fellows sticks in a little something extra that isn't supposed to be there,“ the chief said. „You can see it only if you know what keys to press.“
He was preening himself as if he'd figured it out himself. „Now watch this,“ he said, pointing back at the screen.
Jack sighed.
The view widened again. I could see the rail on which the puppeteer was leaning, stacked with little discarded garments – tiny cartoon suit jackets and trousers, crumpled doll-size judges' robes and minuscule loud ties. Then the face of the puppeteer came into view.
Jack.
It was a cartoon version of his face, but larger and more detailed and realistic than the Lawyers from Hell characters, and instantly recognizable. He winked at us, and a curtain began closing over the picture. In a few seconds the game reappeared.
„You programmed Nude Lawyers from Hell?“ I said, looking up at the real Jack.
He shrugged sheepishly. „I just wanted to see if I could,“ he said. „And I thought it would make a nice April Fools' gag.“
„See,“ the chief said. „He admits it.“
„Some gag, sending it out all over the world,“ I said.
„I didn't do that,“ he protested. „I just put it on a couple of machines here in the office. I have no idea how it got out on the Web.“