Crossing the Barrier (25 page)

That Thursday night
, Sandra and Lily joined some of their bandmates for dinner after practice. During the last week, the practice time had doubled due to the upcoming regional competition the next Saturday, and looking around the table and seeing the tired faces, Lily wondered how the band would manage the game the next day, let alone the competition.

“Earth to Lily,” Sandra said.

“Oh, sorry,” Lily said.

Her tired mind had drifted back to the visit she had received the previous Sunday. She had just woken up when a cop showed up at her door, asking her questions about what happened with Wes. Lily knew Malakai had told the coach after he called to apologize for it, but she hadn’t expected the police’s visit. Thankfully, Beatrice wasn’t home to throw venom at Lily for bringing the cops to their doorstep. A few hours after the officer left, Lily found out they had visited the Joneses and Malakai also.

“I’m not even going to ask you what you were thinking about,” Sandra said, rolling her eyes.

Lily didn’t answer.

They were sitting one next to the other, Lily’s leg touching Sandra’s despite the small crowd, a sure sign she was too tired to deal with anything complicated.

“Malakai,” Sandra said.

“Yeah. I miss him.”

“No, I mean, he’s right there,” Sandra said, pointing toward the entrance.

Lily looked up; Malakai was walking toward her, a big goofy smile on his beautiful face. He was followed by some people, but Lily had eyes only for him.

“I missed you,” he said, walking to her as she stood up.

He hugged her, and Lily put her head against his chest, closing her eyes in pure contentment, feeling a warm glow that was all Malakai surrounding her. If she had been a cat, she would have purred.

“I missed you, too.”

The stress of the last few days was replaced by calm and love.

“Baby, are you with me?” Malakai asked after a few seconds, caressing her hair.

“Can I fall asleep?”

Malakai chuckled. “After food, if you want, I can take you home and you can sleep,” he offered.

At the mention of home, Lily became rigid. She was too tired to face Beatrice’s wrath, and now that she refused to attend her parties, things had gone from bad to worse. Beatrice’s mind had become so irrational Lily had vertigo every time she was in the same room with her.

“You don’t want to go,” he whispered in her ear.

Lily felt like someone was holding her heart in her hand and squeezing it. No, she didn’t want to go home, but she couldn’t tell Malakai without making him worry.

“I’ll make you a deal,” he offered. “After I grab dinner, I’ll go home, get a change of clothes, and come spend the night at your house.”

A night spent with Malakai, in her bed, warmed and loved, with very few clothes on…

Lily loved the thought.

But she wasn’t ready.

She wanted the comfort it would afford her to have him there, but she wasn’t ready for what being in a bed together could mean. They had been dating for what, three weeks, four days, and twenty-two hours? Not that she was counting…

“Just sleeping,” he added seriously when she hesitated. “I promise.”

Lily telling him about Beatrice during homecoming definitely had him worried, and it had become worse since the incident with Wes.

She was worried too, and she wanted to say yes so badly. “I’ll be okay,” she heard herself say instead, looking up at him.

And she could have cried.

That was a lie.

She was not okay.

She was in pain.

She was drained.

She was exhausted.

“Are you sure?” he asked, caressing her cheek with his warm thumb. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yeah,” she lied again.

She felt his doubt, but he didn’t say anything to contradict her.

How she wished he had.

“Why is the director working you so hard?” Tristan asked from behind her.

She turned around; Tristan, David, and Luis had joined their group at the table. Next to her, a seat had been kept for Malakai, and Sandra was now sitting on the other side of the table, next to Naomi. Lily sent a grateful smile to her best friend.

She sat and Malakai took the seat on her right. He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, looking at her with a reassuring smile.

“We have a competition this coming Saturday,” Ron answered with a yawn.

“Competition?” Tristan asked.

“Yeah, regional stuff, big competition,” Ron said. “If we win, we go to state in Austin in a couple of weeks.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Malakai said, looking at Lily in surprise. “That’s a big deal.”

“Yeah, for us it is.”

“What time are you playing? And where?”

“At eight a.m. on Saturday at Berry Center,” Naomi said, yawning also.

“That’s insane!” Tristan exclaimed. “We have a game the previous night, and you guys won’t be home before what? Midnight?”

“We know,” Ron said.

“I’m sorry,” Malakai said to Lily. “I didn’t know you had such a schedule this week.”

“It’s okay,” she said with a tired smile. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” he said, smiling at her. “Me too.”

Chapter Fifty-One

LILY

The minute she
walked into her house later that night, Lily regretted telling Malakai she was all right. Beatrice was in the foyer, her hands on her hips, waiting for her. For the first time since Lily could remember, the woman appeared disheveled, her hair out of place, her makeup smudged, and Lily wondered what was going on. In the next moment, she was hit by a wave of hatred so strong it took everything she had for her to stay upright.

“Saturday, I have some guests coming over, and you will be in attendance. This man was gracious enough for you to meet his son, after the stunt you pulled at homecoming. And this is not up for discussion.”

“Mother, I won’t attend,” Lily said, bringing her hand to her temple and pressing hard. “Not only won’t I attend, I won’t be married against my will. If you think I will, you’re completely deluded.”

The throbbing in her head increased tenfold, and all Lily wanted to do was close her eyes. But she couldn’t, not in front of Beatrice.

“No discussion.”

“No, Beatrice, no discussion. I will
not
be there. Besides, I have a competition that day.”

“You selfish little brat. You’re just like your father. That’s all he ever did, think of himself.”

“My dad was not selfish. He was a great man.”

“Of course he was,” she said flippantly, crossing her arms over her chest.

The brightness of the entryway belied the dark loathing Lily felt from Beatrice.

“Why do you hate me so much? What have I ever done to you for you to hate me so?” she asked quietly.

Lily had never dared to ask before.

“What have you done? You’re here, aren’t you?”

Lily shook her head, not quite understanding what Beatrice was getting at. Beatrice was glaring at her, nostrils flaring.

“Your father was a selfish bastard. He wanted a child, so, of course, he had to have one. I did not want children. I was happy with him, the two of us, by ourselves. But one day, your father had to have a child. We fought over it, and I thought I had won but shortly after, he came home and said he would have a child with or without me. I had the choice to accept it or leave.

“I loved your father at the time. I wanted to be with him. But I was dead set on not having children. I thought he couldn’t make me. After all, he couldn’t stop me from taking my contraceptive shots. So he found another way. He went to a fertilization clinic and got a surrogate mother. The bastard.”

Lily knew about the surrogate mother, but she hadn’t known about the ultimatum her father had given Beatrice. And everything her mother was saying was the truth for once; Lily could feel it.

“I never signed those papers he wanted me to sign to make it happen, but he got it done anyway. He went behind my back and went to another state to make it happen, believe it or not. That’s why my name is not on your birth certificate and why you were born in Arkansas.

“He was never there during those months, you know, then he told me what he had done. I was so furious. How could he have done this to me?” she said, pointing at her chest. “When you came along, everything changed. Oh, he let me choose your name, but the moment he could, he found that ridiculous nickname for you. Of course it was all about you! You! You! Your father pretended to love me for a while, but when he saw I would have nothing to do with you, he became distant.

“Don’t get me wrong; you would have nothing to do with me either. Every time I tried to take you, you would cry until I put you down. Marcus kept on saying it was because you felt how nervous I was, but I wasn’t nervous; I just didn’t want to have anything to do with you. I didn’t want to be a mother, and you were stealing everything I had ever worked for.”

Lily understood what must have happened. She was an empath, and as a baby, she must have already known how much Beatrice despised her. No wonder she would cry.

“Then came a time when he decided we had to move so you could go to better schools. I didn’t want to move. I loved living downtown. I loved our condo. But no, we had to move because that place wasn’t good enough for you. It was again all about you. He even let you choose the house. I hated this house, but you loved it, so your father got it.”

Lily remembered her father showing her model homes and asking her which one she preferred. She remembered picking one from the models, and a few months later, they moved into one just like it. Lily must have been six or seven at the time.

“Of course, after we moved, he had me sign those adoption papers. I should never have signed them. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been stuck with you when he died. I never wanted you,” she said with a hysterical laugh. “I’m stuck with you, but I never, ever wanted you.

“And now all you can do is make my life a living hell. My friends think you’re so great and wonderful for dating the captain of the football team, but if only they knew who you really are. You’re a nobody who plays clarinet with a bunch of losers in a marching band. At least there’s still hope if you marry right,” she finished with a firm nod.

Lily was nauseated. She had known in her heart that hope was dead but to hear it was making her heart break all over again.

How she wished Malakai were with her…

“Well, Beatrice, while you may think I’m a nobody, I happen to think I’m worth a lot more than you. At least I don’t carry around all that hatred in me. And I
will
marry whom I want and not someone to make you look good.”

Lily had heard and said enough.

She made her way to the stairs slowly and went up to her bedroom where it was safe, if not peaceful. Once locked inside, she let the tears fall from her eyes. All she had heard was nothing but the truth as Beatrice saw it. Nothing Lily did would ever change that. Nothing she did would ever change Beatrice’s feelings toward her.

Hope was definitely gone.

She didn’t have a mother and never would.

More than ever, she missed her dad.

At least, she had Malakai.

Chapter Fifty-Two

LILY

Lily didn’t know
if the nearly empty stadium during their first round of competition had been a good thing or a bad one. While it should have been easier on her, the disappointment from her bandmates made it worse.

They had just finished playing, and Lily was now so exhausted she could barely stand. She could no longer handle the emotions around her even while touching Sandra, and the nausea had gotten to a point where Lily tasted bile at the back of her throat. Her head hurt something fierce from the effort of keeping it all together.

“You all right?” Sandra asked as they made their way to the buses.

Lily was also short of breath, and when she opened her mouth to answer her friend, she had reached her limit. As her vision began to cloud, she had just enough time to reach for Sandra before the world disappeared.

“
Make way! Make
way! Lily, you all right?” the assistant director asked, leaning over her.

“My head,” she said.

Sandra was holding firmly to her hand, and Lily was thankful. The myriad of emotions coming from the many people leaning over her would have made her pass out all over again if Sandra hadn’t been there.

“Hold on. The paramedics are coming to check on you,” the assistant director said worriedly.

“I’m just exhausted,” she protested.

By the way Sandra felt, Lily knew her best friend had caught on to what was really going on. Her power was getting the best of her, or rather her lack of shields.

A few moments later, the paramedics finished examining her, and they nodded to the assistant director. “Exhaustion,” one of them said. “I would make sure she gets plenty of water, and if she’s dizzy again, to the hospital right away.”