Cross My Heart (26 page)

Now that the time had come, he couldn't bring himself to push her at all. Once before, Lilly had chosen not to come back and he couldn't just forget how easily she'd put him in the past and left him there. If he hadn't shown up and begged her to reclaim her trust fund, she'd still be living her life in New York, without him.

So if Lilly wanted to leave again now, far be it from him to stand in her way. No promises had been exchanged and he was glad he'd reminded himself of this possibility all along.

Not that knowing made the inevitable any easier to handle, he thought. But he'd survive without Lilly. Just as he'd done once before.

F
lo Benson had been home from the hospital for a week. The doctors assured her that her heart would perform like it always had. She'd be fine. Unfortunately she couldn't say the same for her son. Since her release, Ty had stayed with her in the house. After the first two days, he'd gone back to work. During the day he'd be at the office and most evenings he was doing surveillance, which freed up Flo to be with Andrew.

Still, she knew Ty was merely keeping busy to avoid thinking about Lilly and how he'd let her go. Again. Damn stubborn man, Flo thought. Not only was he torturing himself, he was driving her crazy, hovering whenever he was around.

“Mom? I made you a cup of green tea. It's supposed to be full of antioxidants and good for your heart.” Ty stepped into her bedroom where she relaxed watching the late news.

“You aren't working tonight?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Derek's got things covered.” He placed the cup and saucer on her nightstand.

“Ty, I need to ask you something and please don't take this the wrong way. When in the hell are you leaving?” she asked her son.

He cocked his head to the side. “I can be out of here now if that's what you mean. My apartment's been ready for a while. I just thought you'd appreciate having some company when you came home.”

She shook her head. Sometimes men, including the doctor that she adored, could be so thickheaded. “I meant when are you leaving Hawken's Cove and going after Lilly?”

He lowered himself onto her bed with a heavy thud, but remained silent in the face of her blunt question.

“It's not that I don't love you and appreciate you taking care of me, but I don't need it. I'm fine. The doctors told you so. The fact that you're still here at all is more for your benefit than for mine. I'm thinking you don't want to go back to your small lonely apartment and think about what an ass you've been letting her leave you again.” She folded her arms across her chest, defying her son to argue.

He scowled as he replied, “I am not going to discuss my love life with my mother.”

“What love life? As far as I can see, you don't have one and you never will. Give me one good reason why you didn't ask her to stay?”

“Why am I the one getting flack when she's the one who packed up and left?” he asked.

“Because you're the one who's miserable and I'm the unfortunate one who has to watch you suffer.”

Flo pushed herself up against the pillows, getting more comfortable. She winced at the slight pulling in her chest, a normal reaction, the doctor had assured her.

“But that's what is bothering you, isn't it? The fact that she left you. A part of you can't get beyond the fact that she never came back the first time and you wanted her to be the one to step up now. Am I right?”

Ty squirmed, uncomfortable in the glare of his mother's questions and accurate guesses. “Do you want to know what life has taught me?” he asked her.

She raised her eyebrows. “Do tell.”

“People leave. Dad left. Lilly left. Hunter went next. Lilly has a life in New York. Why the hell should I expect her not to want to return to it?” He wasn't one for spilling his guts but his mother knew how to push all the right buttons and make him angry enough to talk about things he'd normally leave bottled up inside.

Flo shook her head. “I hate to say this to you, but it's time for you to grow up. Your father was a no-good drunk and a gambler. His leaving was the best thing that could have ever happened to us. As for the rest, well pardon my French, but shit happens.”

Ty stared at his mother. He'd never heard such frank talk from her before.

“You need to get over the past. Lilly has. I heard she had no real reaction to Marc Dumont's confession that he paid me to take her in. That she was never really in foster care. Did you notice?”

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, his muscles tense. “Yeah, I noticed.” He'd been shocked that she hadn't been more hurt by the news or angry at her uncle for placing her in a home he knew nothing about. Or felt betrayed by his mother for conspiring with Dumont and taking such an excessive amount of cash.

“She shocked you, didn't she? You've been protecting her from a secret that she didn't need protecting from. And you've also eaten yourself alive with guilt because you had nice things and she struggled to survive. But she's over it, Tyler. You're the only one still suffering.”

He rose to his feet and walked to the window. The shade was drawn, blocking out the dark night sky. He turned back to his mother, glancing at her from across the room. “You're very perceptive all of a sudden.”

“A brush with death will do that to a person. I love you and I don't want to see you end up alone because you're scared to let yourself feel too much. You're afraid of being hurt but guess what? You can't feel any worse than you do right now.”

He shook his head and laughed. “Leave it to my mother to tell it like it is.”

“I figured if I wasn't honest, you'd never leave.”

“Don't tell me I'm cramping your social life?” he asked jokingly. Then he caught his mother's blush. “I
am
cramping your social life,” he said, shocked he'd never realized it before. “You could have just asked me to move out already.”

“I believe I just did.” Flo grinned, the flush in her cheeks brighter than before.

His mother wanted him to move out so she'd have time with her boyfriend. “I'll be gone first thing in the morning,” he muttered, shaking his head at the ironic turn of events.

“Are you going to talk to Lilly?” she asked hopefully.

Ty grinned. “I thought I told you I wasn't going to discuss my love life with my mother?” He walked over and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for caring enough to toss me out on my ass,” he said, chuckling. “As for the rest, I promise to think about everything you said.”

He'd think. And then, maybe, he'd find the courage to go after what he wanted.

 

B
ACK FOR A WEEK
, Lacey now remembered why she loved her business. The girls who worked for her were so happy she'd returned, they had shown up at her apartment with a welcome-back cake. As a special surprise, one of them had looked Marina up and brought her along with them. Whenever Lacey talked to one of her employees, she remembered her early days in New York and how grateful she'd been when Marina had given her a chance and a job. She loved doing the same.

As for the people who employed her company, some were a pain in the rear end, complaining endlessly about towels not folded right, dogs who'd pooped in the house, which must be the dog walker's fault, and grocery lists filled wrong. Then there were those who just appreciated having someone other than themselves do their odd jobs while they put in a long day at the office. Either way, Lacey found herself back to multitasking all day and loving every minute.

She also missed Ty. Constantly, desperately and always. Still, she'd done the right thing by going home and remembering what it was that she loved about her life. A life she could duplicate in Hawken's Cove if that was the only way to be with Ty.

Because another thing she'd realized by coming back was that home wasn't a place. Home was a feeling. Home was where her heart beat a little faster and a place she could come to at the end of a satisfying or frustrating day and know he was there waiting. At this point she didn't care if her parents' old house and her uncle were there to remind her of all she'd lost. She'd gained so much more by reconnecting with Ty.

She had a few days left until her birthday, the day when she'd go back to Hawken's Cove and claim her trust fund. A day when she'd sign the house over to her uncle for good. She wanted nothing to do with that part of her life.

As for the money, the court-appointed trustee who'd taken over for the now jailed Paul Dunne had informed her that Paul had embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years. The estate itself now consisted of one point seven million dollars, excluding the house and real estate. An amount she could barely comprehend.

Despite the loss, more than enough remained for her to cover her uncle's cost of living in the house, and for her to start up an Odd Jobs in Hawken's Cove. Marina was retired, but Lacey had asked and the older woman had agreed, to oversee the business in New York. Over time, Lilly could either sell it to her or one of her employees. Time would tell.

Of course all of her plans hinged on the assumption that Ty wanted her to come back. That he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and make babies together when they were ready, and let his mother shower their children with love and affection.

She just didn't know what he wanted and the few times she'd called, she'd gotten his answering machine. She assumed he was out working, either the night shift at the bar or on a case. Because she didn't know how to broach her feelings on the phone, she hadn't left a message. And he hadn't called her, either. Or like her, he hadn't left a message.

She fingered the locket around her neck. She still couldn't bring herself to part with the sentimental piece of jewelry and she wouldn't. Not unless Ty told her to get lost for good. She swallowed over the lump in her throat and continued to think positive thoughts.

Like what would she do with the rest of the money in the trust fund. It seemed a waste to let the money sit and just accumulate doing nothing. She had some thoughts but she hadn't come to any firm decisions yet.

A loud knock startled her and Digger began her obsessive barking, jumping up and down at the door without even knowing who was behind it.

Lacey glanced in the peephole and nearly passed out. She flung the door open wide. “Ty? What are you doing here?” she asked, excited, hopeful and also scared something had happened to his mother. “Is Flo okay?” she asked.

“Depends on your definition of okay. She threw me out, if you can believe that.” He set down his oversized duffle bag which Lacey eyed warily.

“What do you mean she threw you out?”

He grinned, that cocky, sexy grin she loved. “She said I was getting on her nerves and cramping her style. Then she told me to get the hell out.”

“She did not!”

He laughed. “Not in so many words, no. But her point was clear.”

She looked from his bag up into his eyes. Eyes that now looked light and free of excess baggage. She didn't understand what was going on but she had a hunch she was going to like it. A lot.

She rolled forward onto the balls of her feet, then back again. “So did you move back into your apartment?” Lilly asked.

“Nope. I told Hunter to camp out there for a while.”

“Doesn't he have his place in Albany?”

“It'll be a long trip for him late at night when he fills in for me at Night Owl's. Besides, he really hates that stuffy apartment he's leasing. He only did it to make his point that he's
arrived
and he's past caring what people think anymore.”

“He's hurting, isn't he?” Lacey asked.

Ty nodded. “Molly did a real number on him. Did you know he offered to go with her wherever she was going?”

Although Lacey had been in touch with Hunter and she knew he'd withdrawn, he'd left out key parts of the story. “I had no idea,” she murmured. “She turned him down?”

“Flat.” Ty crossed his arms over his chest.

She winced. “Poor Hunter. But at least he had the courage to offer to go with her,” she said pointedly. She wasn't only referring to the fact that Ty hadn't offered the same, but neither had she.

“It didn't get him very far, unfortunately.”

“But at least now he knows where he stands.”

Ty nodded. “Good point.”

They remained that way for a while, at a standstill, neither one of them knowing what to say next.

Lacey took the opportunity to look him over for the first time. He hadn't shaved in a few days, his hair was as long as it'd been before, and his leather jacket appeared well-worn. He was her sexy rebel and she was so glad he was here.

“So your mother threw you out and you gave up not just your apartment but your part-time job at Night Owl's,” she said, spelling things out when she couldn't stand the tension any longer. “What about your P.I. business?”

“Handed that over to Derek.” He shrugged off his jacket, hanging it on a hook in her front hall. “Seeing as I'm licensed in New York State, it didn't seem like a big deal to start over.”

Her mouth grew dry. “Start over where?”

“Here.” He ran his hand through his hair. “In New York, the city that doesn't sleep. Seems like a good place for an out-of-work P.I. to start over.”

When she glanced at him this time, she didn't see the cocky kid she'd fallen in love with at seventeen nor did she see the man with walls a mile high. Instead she saw a vulnerable guy who'd come here with his heart on his sleeve and no idea what kind of reception he'd receive.