Crimson Palace (33 page)

Several nights passed uneventfully, and then another when he failed to return at all. And then another.

Jenna became frantic that she was losing his interest. She would do anything he asked her, absolutely anything. Sensing her fear, Clay began to taunt her with the power he held over her. Gone was the arrogant girl from Boston and in her place was a pitiful woman, enslaved by her desires.

***

At first she refused to listen to the inner voice that told her he was seeing someone else. Clay would never do that to her. He loved her! But as the days passed and his treatment of her became more and more callus, she began to suspect the worse.

Finally, as she lay alone in bed, waiting throughout the silent night, she forced herself to face reality. He must have found someone else, or he would be with her this very moment. A man in love would not neglect her as he did. If he truly loved her, they would have been married by now. With a sinking heart she realized he had played her for a total fool.

She was sitting on the bed, totally dressed, when Clay arrived home the next morning.

"I won’t bother to ask where you’ve been, Clay," she said in a low, controlled voice. "I don’t believe I would be very happy hearing the sordid details."

"Have it your own way, Jenna. Now, get out of my way, I want to go to bed."

"I don’t much care what you want, Clay. There are a few things I intend to discuss with you and I intend to do it now."

"Oh, it’s finally come to that, has it?" he looked at her, an ugly smirk twisting his face. "I wondered how long it would take you to wake up."

A sense of dread began to seep into her. This conversation wasn’t going at all as she had planned.

Where was his sense of guilt? Why did he seem to be actually pleased at her anger?

"I had imagined you would have realized weeks ago that I had no intention of marrying you. But you never did put two and two together, did you?"

"You never intended to marry me?"

"Hardly. Do you actually think I would marry the daughter of a whore? Oh, you and your mother learned how to put on airs, all right, but deep down both of you are nothing more than whores."

"How dare you speak to me like that, you bastard!"

"Oh, come off your high horse, Jenna. And I’d be careful of who I called a bastard. At least my parents were married when I was born, which is more than I can say of yours."

"What are you saying?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I’m saying you were at least two years old when your mother married that gambler who called himself your father. And I’m not making this up either. If you’ll remember, I was four when I first met your mother. There was no Lincoln Bradley around when you were born a few months later. Lincoln didn’t come onto the scene for at least two years later. So what do you think of that makes you?"

Jenna sat on the edge of the bed, all color drained from her face.

"But why did you do this to me, Clay? What did I ever do to make you hate me so?"

"Don’t take it personally. It’s your mother I wanted to get to. I’ve hated that bitch ever since she talked my mother into cooking for that bunch of sluts. I’ll never forgive her for humiliating my family like that.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get back at her."

Jenna shook her head in amazement.

"And I believed all your lies. I really believed you loved me."

"Well, look at the bright side. I’ve instructed you well in the family profession. Why, you’ll make just as good a whore as your mother ever was, maybe better!" He laughed cruelly.

"Of course, instruction as good as you received should be compensated fairly, wouldn’t you say? I’ve put a great deal of effort into your education. And, in the interest of fairness, I made sure I was amply rewarded for my efforts."

"What do you mean ‘rewarded’?"

"I mean I took twenty-five thousand dollars of your mother’s money with me when I left the Crimson Palace. What do you think I had in that satchel, a change of underwear?"

Putting her hands over her ears in an effort to shut out the sound of his voice, Jenna began rocking forward on the bed. She was filled with revulsion at what she had done and how foolish she had been.

"And I sort of fixed it so that going home won’t be all that easy for you either, sweetheart. I left a note behind saying you were in on the theft right from the beginning."

"You won’t get away with it. They do have laws against creatures like you."

"Oh, yes I will. I have already. With the money I have left I can book a passage on one of the ships sitting in the harbor and live like a king in some foreign country. And you? Why, I suppose I’ve gotten you pregnant by now. At least if I haven’t, I’m not the man I think I am. Yes, I believe my plan has been completely successful.

"Now, I suggest that you find yourself a crib down on the Barbary coast. You’re going to need all the money you can get before you start ballooning out too much. I’m sure you’ll find some pour louts who aren’t too particular who they mount.

"But there’s no need to rush away from this luxurious room. Mabel’s been paid up to the end of the month. After that you’re on your own."

The sound of his cruel laughter as he turned and left the house would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Chapter 24

Jenna stared blankly at the door Clay had slammed shut behind him. Her mind was a jumble of thoughts

- memories of happier days and the intimate moments they had spent together. Suddenly, what had once been thrilling, wonderfully exciting experiences now felt tawdry and disgusting to her. Her face flamed as she recalled some of the more erotic acts she had so willingly performed with him.

She had done things with him that he had convinced her were often done by people who were very much in love. But would a man who truly loved a woman ask her to perform such erotic acts? Not likely, she thought ruefully, now that she had regained her senses. No man would expect such pleasures except from a whore.

She covered her face in shame. How could she have done them, she wondered? How could she have allowed herself to be so degraded?

And then Shinonn’s image came to her mind. Why hadn’t she listened to her mother’s advice? She thought of how cruel she had treated her mother. Had she ever said one kind word to her? Instead she had derided everything her mother stood for.

"Oh, mother, I was so wrong," she said aloud, overwhelmed with guilt. "All you ever wanted was what was best for me. And look where my stubbornness has gotten me."

And now what, she wondered? Where do I go from here?

Her first thought was to return to her mother, but it was quickly rejected. After all she had put her mother through, how could she expect to be welcomed back with open arms?

Without thinking of where she was going, Jenna stood and walked through the door and down the stairs.

Her feet automatically took her the same route she had traveled each morning since arriving in the city.

Down the three steep blocks to the cable car stop she walked, passing houses and people without seeing any of them.

Today, instead of taking the car that worked its way up the hill to the beautiful heights of the city, she took the downhill car, unconsciously seeking out the infamous Barbary Coast. Clay had said that that was where she belonged. She wanted to see what it was like.

In her misery she thought that perhaps he was right. Perhaps she was only suited to live in such a place, practicing the perversions of the prostitutes. With tears stinging her eyes, she thought of how she had derided her mother who had once worked in a brothel, believing herself to be so far above the woman who had given her birth.

And yet look at us know, she thought in shame. It is I who should be ashamed. At least when mother fell in love, it was with a decent, honorable man. But not me! Oh, no, I had to fall in love with the worst piece of trash Reno had to offer.

And the worst of it is, they all tried to warn me! But would I listen? Oh, I knew so much more than any of them. After all, I was the educated one. I was the one who had lived in that refined, sophisticated city in the east. I was too smart to listen to any of their advice. And now look at me.

She fought back tears as she wandered the sordid streets of the waterfront. Walking for hours, her mind deeply embroiled with her troubled thoughts, she barely noticed the trash strewn streets, the seedy business establishments, the sordid people lounging in doors.

"You lost, honey?" one of the prostitutes taunted from an open window. "Or maybe you’re looking for your hubby. I hear tell he was here awhile back - said he was sick to death of looking at his old lady’s stuck up face. You can bet your bloomers, we showed him more fun than he ever had at home," she laughed rudely as Jenna passed.

The woman’s shrill voice broke through Jenna’s misery, catching her attention for a moment. She looked up into the harlot’s painted face. Her lips were painted a scarlet hue, rouge colored her cheek bones, her eyes were darkly outlined in kohl. Long blond hair hung in a tangled mess. Although she looked to be at least forty years old, something about her made Jenna realize that she was probably not many years older than she was herself.

So this is what a life of prostitution leads to, she thought with revulsion. Is this what I have to look forward to? Her stomach lurched at the thought.

Yet, despite her revulsion of everything she saw as she walked the Barbary Coast, she couldn’t leave it.

Over and over she heard Clay’s voice saying that this was where she belonged, that she was no better than the lowest whore that worked these streets. Had these girls been like her? Had they been seduced by men they loved? Had they found unbelievable pleasure in the arms of their men just as she had? How could she condemn women who might very well have traveled the same route as she?

Exhausted at last, she returned to the boarding house just as Mabel was clearing the dinner table. Jenna passed the dining room, head lowered, eyes seeing only the floor beneath her feet.

"I hope you know you missed dinner," Mabel called out. "I told you before, you miss a meal around here, that’s your problem."

Jenna stopped and looked toward the dining room. Mabel, seeing the vacant, desperate look in the girl’s eyes, relented in spite of herself.

"Well, there is a bit left in the kitchen. Come on in and eat while I do the dishes," she grumbled.

"Thank you, Mabel, but I couldn’t eat a bite. I’m sorry."

"And have you had a thing to eat today?" Mabel persisted.

Jenna stopped for a moment, her eyes still vacant as she tried to think back on the day. Finally she had to admit that, no, she hadn’t.

"Then get yourself in there and no more arguments," the woman ordered. Her eyes reflected the pity she felt for the girl.

"I guess you two had a bit of a tussle this morning," Mabel commented as she placed a plate of food before Jenna. "Couldn’t help but hear your voices. Not that I’m nosy or anything, mind you."

"It was more than just a little tussle. He’s gone, and he won’t be coming back."

"Oh, I wouldn’t count on that, dearie. Them kind always shows their ugly faces back again. He’ll be back all right."

"Not this time, Mabel. He’s finished what he started. He’ll never come back. But that’s just fine with me." She tried to raise her chin in defiance, but failed to pull the gesture off convincingly. "I never want to see him again as long as I live."

"If you ask me, his leaving is the best thing that ever happened to you. I never could see you two together. Why, you’ve got a ton of class, which is something I can’t say about him. No, you’re not for the likes of him."

"I’m afraid class is nothing more than a joke, in my own case at least. Oh, I thought I had class once, but it was all a lie."

Mabel glanced at Jenna with narrowed eyes. Something much more serious than a simple lover’s quarrel was bothering the girl.

"Don’t you let him get to you, honey. His kind’s no good for anybody. It’s not you; there’s something wrong with him."

Jenna shrugged her shoulders as if it really didn’t matter who was to blame or what was to happen to either of them.

"It doesn’t make any difference anymore, Mabel. He’s gone and that’s all there is to it."

"Well, the rent’s paid up ‘till the end of the month, so you don’t have to make any moves for awhile.

And if you got the rent money, you can just go on, if you want."

"I thought we would be married by now," Jenna said, almost in a whisper. "My God, what would my life have been if it had really happened?" A shudder of revulsion shook her body.

"Have you given any thought to what you’re going to do?" Mabel’s’ voice brought her mind back from the horrible vision of life with Clay.

"What?" Jenna asked, blinking her eyes as she attempted to return her attention to the present.

"I said, what do you think you’ll do now?"

"I have no idea. I know I can’t stay here, but I haven’t the slightest idea what to do next."

"Maybe you should go home. I bet your family’s worried sick about you."

"I can’t. I really want so, but I can’t. That’s the last place in the world I can go. I just don’t know what to do." Her voice trailed off as she pushed away from the table and left the room.

The question burned in her mind all night, until she finally drifted into a troubled sleep in the early hours of the morning. She had slept for less than an hour when she awoke to the sound of moaning.

Reality seemed to belong more to the dream than to her ugly surroundings. Her body still throbbed with desire as the vision of Clay slowly faded from her mind. Her breasts were still heavy with passion from the teasing of his lips; her flesh screamed for his touch. But the very worst was the terrible emptiness that existed where, in her dream, he had been filling her so completely. She could still fill his deep thrusts, hear his ragged breathing.

Shock rocked her when she realized that the sounds that had awakened her had not come from him, but rather from herself. Reaching to the empty place where Clay had slept before, the hard cold truth hit her a solid blow. She was completely and utterly alone.