I twisted my mouth. “Party pooper.”
“That I am,” he grinned. “Time for little girls to go to bed.”
I wrinkled my nose and took the house key out of one of my pant pocket. I turned the knob and opened the door.
“Night,” I said.
“Wait.” David pulled me back into the patio. He took me by the waist and pinned me against the wall and kissed me. “Good night, love.”
I lay awake for several hours thinking of how it was that I had never once noticed how different I looked from Claire. I probably looked like my father—whoever he was. What if I was adopted? What if Claire wasn’t my mother? I had so many questions.
When I woke up Claire was gone. It was nearing noon. She left me some money on the kitchen counter under an empty can of diet soda. That was her subtle attempt to tell me to buy some.
I grabbed a pastry bar from the cupboard and headed upstairs again. I walked into her room and stared at the nightstand where I knew she kept all her important papers and photographs. Could it be that somewhere in there would be a hint of who my father was?
I looked through all the legal documents with my name on them and hers. I found my birth certificate where I was registered as the daughter of Hector Martin and Claire Ann Martin. Everything looked legitimately correct.
Old photographs of my father, Hector, and me—of when I was born—were tucked in an envelope along with our—Claire’s and mine—hospital bracelets. I didn’t look like Hector either. I always thought I had inherited his green eyes. I was wrong.
I found some old photos of my mother during her pregnancy. Obviously, my theory about being adopted was wrong. But was Hector aware that I wasn’t his daughter? He had been a wonderful father to me in spite of his imperfections.
Nothing out of the ordinary turned up in the nightstand.
I remembered a box my mother kept at the far corner of her closet. That box held some documents along with pictures, too. I ran down the stairs for the stepladder and brought it up.
I fetched the box and placed it on the floor. I opened it and started pulling out papers: house insurance documents, old receipts, Claire’s Associates degree. I read each document thoroughly, looking for a name or a clue that would help me decipher my existence.
Just as I was about to put everything back in the box, I noticed a yellow legal sized envelope taped to the bottom of the box. I opened it and reached in. Inside there was a letter addressed to my mother with one single sentence typed out:
For
your
troubles
. It wasn’t signed. I put my hand in the folder again and found an envelope postmarked in a language I couldn’t understand, but the date was clear enough to make out. It was about a month after my father had passed.
“Isis.” My mother startled me. “What are you doing?”
“What’s this?” I ignored her question, holding up both the envelope and letter.
“Where did you get that?” Claire acted like she didn’t know.
“From where you had it hidden.” I sounded slightly upset. “Why was it hidden?”
Claire sighed and closed her eyes. “It’s nothing. Put it away.” She walked out of the room in a hurry.
“Mother, wait!” I walked after her. “Tell me what this is.”
“Isis, it’s nothing.” She frowned. “What are you doing digging in my stuff for?”
“Am I adopted?” I bluntly asked.
My mother’s eyes widened. “Have you been talking to Eva?”
“Yes,” I lied. “She told me some things.” I hoped I was saying the right words to make her talk.
“What did she tell you?” Claire’s face was surprised.
“Everything,” I lied again. “She told me not to tell you.”
“Oh my God,” Claire sighed and walked back into her room.
“Honey, I was going to tell you, but I just didn’t know how. I was so scared you’d hate me for keeping it from you. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.”
“Tell me what happened.” I saw that I was getting somewhere with my lying. I folded my arms and sat on the bed waiting for an explanation.
“Okay,” Claire said nodding. “Where to start?” She put her hand on her forehead as she paced.
“I was seventeen,” she started. “I had broken up with your father—with Hector—a week earlier. My parents and I went on a fishing trip that afternoon to a nearby park. I was debating on whether or not to go back to him. I had caught him talking to one of his friends about wanting to date this girl at school that everyone knew was a
sure
thing
, in boys’ terms.
“I walked away from the fishing area and decided to go on a short walk by myself. It was a desolate, long trail—wild green plants growing everywhere. Just beautiful.
“I sang to myself and picked a few wild flowers. I thought I was alone. Then, I saw him sitting under a mesquite tree.
“He was so handsome. We started to talk. He asked my name, but being that I was hypnotized by his looks, I didn’t bother to ask for his. He was about twenty years old and a devastatingly beautiful creature. When he spoke, I heard every syllable that came out of his mouth. When he looked at me, he stole my breath.
“He kissed me and I was a lost cause in his arms. I’ve never felt that way about anyone since then.
“About three weeks later I started feeling sick. I thought I was coming down with the flu, but the symptoms persisted for days. My mother grew worried and took me to the doctor. They drew blood for some lab work.” She stopped.
“And then?” I prompted her to keep talking.
“I was pregnant, Isis.” She paused, looking at the floor. “Pregnant with that boy’s child, whose name or identity I didn’t know. I was a virgin. I had never been with Hector.
“My parents automatically assumed you were Hector’s,” she sighed and wiped a tear falling from her eye.
“Hector was so upset when I told him. He said he’d kill him if he ever found him. Your father loved me dearly. I told him my parents assumed the baby was his. He said he’d take full responsibility, and we were married two months later.
“Eva was the only person who knew the truth. She accepted me and you.”
Over streaming tears, holding up the letter I asked, “So, what is this?”
“I received that letter with a check of a sizeable amount after your father passed away. I used it to pay off the mortgage and some bills that I knew I couldn’t handle on my own. I used the rest for my school and what little was left over, I put in the bank for a rainy day.
“There was no return address… only the check and those words typewritten on the paper. I tried to find out the origin of the postmark but came up blank. I thought it was him that sent it, and that’s why I kept it.”
Claire wiped her tears from her face. “Do you hate me?” She sniffled.
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t believe my biological father’s identity was a mystery even to my mother. The way she described him was exactly as I felt about David. There was no doubt about it. My father was a deity.
“I don’t hate you, Mom.” I hugged her. “In an ironic way, I understand you.”
“I have to call Eva to tell her.” Claire reached for the phone.
“Mom, no.” I set the phone down. “I didn’t talk to Grands at all. I lied.”
“But why did you ask me if you were adopted?” Claire was confused.
“Because I found it odd that I don’t look at all like you or dad,” I lied, yet again. “Then I found this letter, and I thought you might have kept it for some important reason.”
“You tricked me?” My mother gasped with a devastated look on her face. “I can’t believe you, Isis!”
“You were going to tell me someday… weren’t you?” I creased my brow. “I should be the angry one here.”
Claire nodded. “I know, but you lied to me to make me tell you something very crucial about both our lives, Isis. How do you think I feel?”
“Deceived, like I do,” my tone was hard.
Claire lowered her face into her hands and wept. “I’m sorry.”
I stood from the bed and picked up the box from the floor and put it back in its place in the closet.
“I’ll be in my room,” I said and closed the door behind me.
Chapter 13
Journal Entry 12, 1:33 P.M.
My state of mind is blurred by the constant of uncertainty. I don’t know who or what I am or what I will become.
The only certainty in my life right now is that I am not my father’s daughter, and yet I am.
He who gave me life is an unknown—a ghost in my mother’s past. I am a product of two distinct breeds. I am Creatura.
* * *
I called David to tell him I needed to talk to him. He said he would drop by my house within an hour.
Claire knocked on my door interrupting my conversation with him.
“I’ll see you when you get here. I have to go,” I said softly.
“See you soon, love.”
I clicked the phone to end the call.
“Come in, Mom,” I spoke in a normal tone. There was no sense in being upset with her when she was the only mother I would ever have.
“I have this for you,” Claire said holding something in her hand.
She handed me an envelope addressed to “Miss Isis Martin”. There was no return address.
“I opened it,” she admitted. “I wasn’t being nosey. I was being protective of my daughter.”
I slid out the letter it held. It was typewritten, like the one addressed to her.
Dearest Isis,
I know it is in great distaste to try to communicate with you through this means after so many years. I am truly repentant of my absence from your life. I have thought of contacting you many times but felt I was in no position to make myself known to you, as your mother chose a good man to take my place.
Although I am reluctant to reveal my identity to you at the present, I would like you to know that you never escaped my thoughts.
My remorse and cowardice to leave your mother under those circumstances has eaten at my core always. I am sorry if this letter has caused you any pain. I only wish to make you aware that you have a father.
Without further ado, I bid you good tidings.
Best Regards
“How long have you had this?” I held the paper in my hands, staring at it.
“A week or so.”
“Is this the reason behind your recent melt down?”
Claire nodded, “You know it is.”
“You could’ve just told me then. I would have preferred you to come clean about it.”
Claire stared at the wall. “I knew it would be hard on you. I didn’t know how to go about it. I was scared of how you’d react. It’s not easy for me either.”
“Are there any more—letters, I mean?” I folded the paper and placed it back in the envelope.
“No.” Claire stared off into space. “I wish there were.” She turned and faced the door. “I don’t know what else to say. I feel like I’ve failed you as a mother.”
I walked briskly to her. “Mom, you’re the best mother I could ever wish for. You haven’t failed me in any way—ever.” I hugged her.
Claire’s eyes dampened. “Isis, my parents didn’t know about this. Your father, Hector, didn’t want me to tell them. The only one that knew was Eva and she promised she’d take it to the grave with her. She’s kept her promise. She’s never treated you like you weren’t her own blood.”
Claire stepped back into my room and sat on the edge of the bed.
“You have no idea how difficult it was for me to face her after Hector told her you weren’t his.” She shook her head. “I was against it, but he insisted on telling her when his father threw him out into the street, penniless and with only the shirt on his back.”
“You had never told me that about Grandpa.”
“I didn’t want you to have a bad impression of him. He was a good man. He was just very old fashioned—set in his ways.”
I sat next to her on the bed.
Claire placed her arm around me and sighed. “It wasn’t until you were born that your grandfather came around… you charmed him silly.” She half grinned.
“Is there anything else I should know?”
“If there were, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you now—I swear.” She crossed her heart like when I was a little girl.
“If you remember anything else about him—my biological father—do you promise to tell me?”
Clair nodded, “Mmm hmm.”
David arrived right as Claire was backing out of the driveway. She waved to him as she drove off.
“Hey, handsome,” I said sheepishly at the door.
David pecked me on the cheek. “Hello, my lovely. I was impatiently awaiting your call. Were you able to gather any information regarding your biological father?”
“A little. He’s as much a mystery to my mother as he is to me.”
“A mystery to your mother? How is that possible?” David had a confused look on his face.
I relayed the story to him that my mother had told me. He wasn’t nearly as astounded as I was when I told him Claire didn’t know his name.
“He would have used an alias if she had asked,” David assured me. “There is no question about that.”
“I received a letter from him,” I revealed.
“What?!” David’s eyes widened, in disbelief. “I thought you said his identity was unrevealed?”
“He didn’t sign it and there’s no return address.”
“May I see it?”
“There’s actually two,” I said walking toward the stairs. “C’mon.” I moved my hand back and forth, motioning him to follow me to my room.
“No.” He raised his brow. “Bring them down, please.”
“David…” I pulled my mouth to the side and set one hand on my waist.
“No,” he repeated sternly. “Out of respect for your mother, please, bring them down.”
“Fine.” I sighed. I didn’t know what the big deal was. It wasn’t like I was going to jump his bones or anything.
I scrambled through the cardboard box in my mother’s room and retrieved Claire’s letter then ran into my room and took the envelope addressed to me from my bed. I ran down the stairs and handed David my mother’s letter first.
David studied the postmarks on the envelope. “Morocco.” David tapped the stamp with the back of his finger. “May I?” His hand was already in the envelope.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“This is it?” He made a disgruntled face.
“Yes. My mother said that one came with a check.”
“Did she keep a copy?”
“I doubt it.” I shrugged. “This is the one I wanted you to see.” I handed David the more recent of the two letters. “It came about a week ago, but my mother kept it from me… until today.”
David looked over the stamp. “Turkey.” He creased his brow.
“Read the letter,” I advised him.
David unfolded the paper and skimmed over the letter. I saw his eyes study the context of the paper twice more. “He was very vague. There are no clues.” He examined the back of the paper as well.
“I know,” I said disappointedly.
David scrutinized me. “You expected me to find something, didn’t you?”
“I was hoping.” My mouth pulled to one side.
David reached for me and embraced me. He kissed my head, then my nose. “You want to find your father.” David voiced the thought that had been dancing in my head.
I shrugged. “Maybe. I dunno. It would be weird.”
“There is nothing strange about wanting to know who your father is. I would say it’s the most normal reaction you could have. I know
I
would want to know.”
“I had a father.” I saw Hector’s face in my mind. “No one could ever take his place.”
“I understand your view point, but it is crucial that we find your biological father. We need to know his genetic makeup so that we can have an idea of your mutant gene characteristics.”
I made a sour face. “You make it sound like I’m some sort of alien.”
“I’m sorry; please, take no offense.” David brushed a strand of hair away from my eyes. “Scientifically, there is no other way to verbalize your DNA composition. You must remember that this involves me also. I don’t know what it is we will become.”
“David, I can’t imagine you as something other than what you are.” I sighed and looked away from him. “I think that you should take back the Star Crest until you see what I truly am. For all I know, I could become some hideous monster. I don’t want you to live out your life in regret.”
“I have told you that those creatures were born as such.” He lightly applied pressure to the golden star figure on my chest. “This is yours to keep.”
David began to unbutton his shirt.
With widened eyes, I took two steps back using the couch as a barricade. “What are you doing?” My heart started to race.
David stopped at the fourth button down giving me an amused stare. “What, may I ask, do you
think
I am doing?”
I just looked at him, feeling my heart in my throat.
David muffled his laugh.
“I am truly sorry to disappoint you, but I am not that type of boy.” He tittered. “I only want to show you something.”
“Why didn’t you say that before you started ripping your clothes off?” I overdramatized the situation.
“Isis, I’m fully clothed,” he laughed. “Are you frightened of me?”
“No,” I blushed. “Of me.”
David slightly opened his mouth. “I see. I was not expecting that answer.”
We looked at one another in awkwardness. I wondered what he thought of me. I hoped he didn’t think I was some hussy.
“What is it that you have to show me?” I asked.
David opened his shirt revealing the mid section of his chest. There was a diagonal thick wound with a small hollow in the middle of it.
“The scaring process has begun.” He ran his finger along the red line.
“What does that mean?”
“I can no longer return the Star Crest into my torso. The cavity it was contained in has sealed.”
I walked to him and placed my hand over the lesion. “You mean it’s irreversible? You sacrificed your life?”
“It had to be this way. Had I not presented you with the Crest, we could never be as we are now—together.”
“How were you so sure of what you were doing? What if… what if I’m just a novelty to you?”
“Love is the emotion of complete awareness of another’s life. I knew nothing could change how I felt for you.” He took my hand and lightly touched his lips to it. “And to answer your question, you are and will forever be a novelty to me.”
I smiled. David truly made me happy. My heart fluttered as I listened to him. I had no doubt in my mind that he was the one—irresistible, irreplaceable and incomparable.
I locked my fingers with his. “You know you’re perfect, right?”
“Hardly,” he grinned. “Sorry to disappoint you again.”
I briefly glanced at his half open shirt then up at his face. I placed my hand on the scar and ran my fingers up his neck. I pulled his head down to mine. My lips glided over his fervently.
David took my hand from behind his head and squeezed it. He pulled away from me. His eyes were wide. He shook his head from side to side. He knew I was looking for more than a simple kiss.
David turned away from me. “We should consult my father regarding the letters,” he said, buttoning his shirt.
What was wrong with me? I was shocked by my own behavior. I never acted this way before. That wasn’t me. I blushed as David looked at me. I stared at the floor in shame.
“Did I offend you by restricting your advance?” David asked quietly. He had misinterpreted my reaction.
“No,” I mumbled. “I’m embarrassed… I can’t believe myself.”
David bit his bottom lip trying not to show his proud smile. He nestled me against his chest. “If it’s any consolation, I find you just as appealing, love.”
I embraced him tightly and buried my face in his shirt to hide the crimson color I could feel radiating from my neck, face and ears.
“I have to go get dressed. I’ll be down in a few minutes. I really hope your father finds a clue on one of those letters,” I said.
“Take your time, my lovely.” He softened his embrace and looked at me with those dreamy blue eyes of his.
I took to the stairs and up to my room. I reached into my drawer for a white tank shirt and pulled it out. A round pink compact flew out of the drawer when I pulled the tank out and fell on the floor next to my feet. It was the birth control pills my mother had given me.
I bent over and opened the compact. Should I have listened to my mother and taken the things? I sat on my bed starring at them in silence.
“This is stupid,” I said to myself. I clicked the compact shut and shoved the pink circle back into the drawer, where I would forget about them again. I wasn’t ready for that. I was still embarrassed from almost pouncing on David. Why would I even think about taking those pills?
I opened the drawer once again and pulled out the compact. Claire had been right about this sort of thing being unexpected. But we—David and I—had to abide by the rules. Nothing would happen between us that would require me to begin taking the contraceptive pills.