“It
wasn’t like that. We made out, yeah—"
“Aha,
I knew it. You were too laid back in that meeting to not have gotten your rocks
off recently.”
Paul
growled as traffic swallowed them whole. “Fine, it’s what it looked like. No
sex.”
“Define
sex. You got your dick sucked on campus. That is sex in my book.”
“It’s
over, anyway. The witch who started that little pow-wow this afternoon
insinuated that he has an inappropriate relationship with me. I’m older than he
is for fuck sake. I’m tired of playing this kid role.”
“He’s
smart enough to end this before it gets messy. Let it stay ended. At least
until we’re reassigned.”
“It’s
not like I’ve gone after him. It’s not like that, Vin. I just can’t seem to stay
away from him.”
Vinnie
stayed silent for a long time. At least four intersections with long lights.
Paul thought the subject was dropped. He leaned back and let the pain pill he’d
taken right after class start to work on his arm and his head. Sleep fuzzied
his mind. But that was a constant condition lately.
“Sounds
to me like you’re falling in love with the professor, and Paul, that’s probably
not a good thing.”
Paul
only looked at his partner with a raised eyebrow. “No shit Sherlock,” he said
instead of arguing the love thing. This wasn’t love. There was no such thing as
love.
Chapter
Ten
Friday
before a long weekend, and Grey was going to a football game. He hadn’t
willingly gone to a game since his freshman year in college. Willingly, as in
dragged by his roommates that first year, and unwillingly his second year by a
boyfriend who was having a secret affair with the very much in the closet
quarterback. Which Grey found about the hard and oh-so-embarrassing way. By
walking in on them locked up on the floor of his dorm room. Why they’d chosen
his
dorm room to do the deed, Grey never could figure out. Maybe it was his way of
getting Grey to dump him. Or join in. The quarterback had seemed willing. But
Grey wasn’t into group sex.
He
stood in front of his miniscule closet and tossed clothes around. He had no
fucking idea what to wear to a high school football game, especially when he
could barely remember high school in the first place. He found a fitted t-shirt
in the same color as the school’s more dominant color, navy blue, and paired it
with a pair of older faded jeans that didn’t scream fag. And flip flops. He
didn’t know if flip flops were appropriate game footwear but, damn it, was hot
outside. It would still be hot after the sun went down. And he sure as hell
didn’t want to show up looking like a history teacher.
Grey
gripped the shirt in his hands and squeezed. He shouldn’t be going at all. He
shouldn’t be agonizing over dressing to impress a guy he just blew off. But he
was. And what’s worse, he knew it. He dressed carefully, telling himself that
this wasn’t what it felt like. That he was going to support the team and the
school. It was part of the job. So what if Paul would be there. So what if his
heart did this peculiar little flip thing every time he thought of him.
So
why had he sent that text message in the first place if he was dressing for
Paul, and going because Paul asked him to go, and hoping that maybe…No. No.
This wasn’t going to happen. He sat on his bed and bent double over his knees
trying to breathe. Why did the first guy to come along in, well, ever, have to
be off limits? Why were they all just out of reach? Just out for a good time at
his expense? Was Paul just out for a good time? His hot for teacher fantasy
came to mind. Was this just a game to the bored cop?
Grey
sprawled backward on his bed. He wasn’t going. He couldn’t go. He had to stay
away from Paul before this attraction spiraled out of control.
Twenty
minutes later he let himself out into the late evening heat and abandoned his
parking space to drive all the way across the city to the college stadium.
Because this thing had
already
spiraled out of his control and he wanted
to see him. He wanted to explain in person why they couldn’t let this happen.
Even if Paul wasn’t what he appeared, Grey would be ruined if they were caught
together. And he didn’t want to start all over again if he could avoid it. Not
this time.
* * * * *
Fifteen
years ago, Paul had avoided doing exactly what he was doing right this second.
He'd spent his Friday nights, not under the bright lights of a crowded stadium
but in a dark deserted place with whatever boy he could find willing to explore
the darker side of their nature with him. And on a military base, or in small
town military housing, that hadn’t been the easiest task. Sweaty sex with some
green kid straight out of boot camp was always a plus. And if his dad had ever
caught him messing with the recruits, they all would have been tied to a mizzen
mast somewhere and flogged. The recruits were better than the kids from school,
though. Older, hornier, and more than willing to take out their frustrations on
a Navy brat looking for it. When they found out who his dad was, then that was
when things got interesting. And dangerous. Danger usually wound him up.
He
spotted danger the very second it walked into the stadium. All hot man dressed
in tight t-shirt that showed an incredible body. Those sexy as hell glasses
only added to the danger. There was a brain behind those glasses. One that
pushed Paul’s buttons. He watched heads turn to follow the fine as hell ass.
Female heads. Under age female heads, cougars on the prowl, teachers who tried
to hide the burning desire to pounce right there in the middle of a game.
Danger moved fluidly through the crowd. Talking to students. Meeting parents
with a handshake and a smile. Avoiding the one teacher who seemed to see too
much and nothing at all. All the while he scanned the bleachers. He tried to do
it discreetly but Paul could see the disappointment on his face every time he
looked over the crowd.
He
opened his phone and pulled up the number. He didn’t put a name, but he knew
the number now. The last incoming message gave him pause. He knew what he
should do. He just never paid much attention to what he should do.
Peek
a boo. I see you.
He keyed in with his thumbs and
watched as the man withdrew his phone and looked around. He didn’t answer so
Paul gave him directions. Grey waited until the crowd erupted in cheers to
stand and turn. When he did his gaze caught Paul standing at the very top of
the stadium leaning against the railing. His fingers worked the small black
object in his hands.
Hi!
His smile lit his face and Paul’s stomach did this bizarre swirly thing before
Grey looked away.
Hi
back. I didn’t think you’d come.
I
almost didn’t.
What
changed your mind?
He waited through a fourth down drive
to the line that ended with a two point conversion to die down before an answer
came.
You.
I needed to see you.
Mixed
signals.
I
know. I’m sorry. I like my job.
Enough
to risk it seeing me.
Again
there was a long pause while Grey talked with another teacher.
We have to be
careful.
I
can be careful. I’m glad you came.
Me
too.
After
that, work intervened in the form of Vinnie standing beside him talking softly
about the group heading off to find something else to do after half-time. There
was talk of heading downtown to score smack.
“I
don’t think this bunch could score at paper rock scissors, much less find
heroin.” Paul snickered looking over the bunch of kids trying hard to be cool
and failing miserably. “But where there’s smoke, I guess, there could be weed.”
“Don’t
care about the pot heads. It’s downtown. That’s a long way to go. So you want
to play the big brother or the best friend thing here?”
“Does
that mean be a hard ass or tag along?”
“Something
like that. You’re supposed to be the responsible one.”
“Have
fun little bro, just gimme the keys to the car, and call me if you need back
up.”
Vinnie
followed his gaze to the lower seats just the other side of the band.
“Is
that the professor?” He sighed, closing his eyes. Grey turned to look up just
as the band kids left the stand for half time. He smiled and turned away when
he saw Vinnie. “Just don’t get caught, man.”
“Wasn’t
planning on it.” He slapped Vinnie on the back after he pocketed the keys to
their beater. “Call me the second this looks like it falls into our territory.”
“I
will. Better yet, come with me.”
Paul
heard the warning tone in his voice. “And when Russell finds out what you’re
doing he’s going to kick your ass, Vin.”
“Who’s
going to tell him? Come on Pauly it’s just out cruising. We ain’t going to do
anything.”
“Vinnie?”
“Pauly!”
Paul
drew in a long exaggerated sigh. “Don’t get me busted for this, bro, you’re on
your own if you miss curfew again. I’m done covering for you.”
“Yeah,
yeah. Just don’t tell Russell, okay?” Vinnie jumped around like a twelve year
old and even hugged him around the neck. Leaning over he whispered. “Be
careful, Paul. There is real speculation about you and the professor. Nothing
serious, just kids talking. He has more to lose than you do. Just remember
that.”
Vinnie
let him go and the whole bunch started off down the bleachers. Paul heard “Dude
your brother is such a dick, are you sure you’re related?” To which Vinnie
replied, “Shut up about my brother, you don’t know what he’s been through, and
I can kick your ass. Just remember that.”
Paul
smiled, then wondered what exactly Vinnie would tell them he’d been through, to
be like he is. They had a small scripted role here, the rest they ad libbed at
will. Russell coming in as their guardian that afternoon was an ad lib. So far
there wasn’t much to do here. Just the regular drugs found on every high school
campus in the country. Vin and Paul took names and reported back through
Russell what they saw and where shit might be happening. So far they’d taken
three dealers out of the school and at least that many more off the streets,
who the kids went to for recreational highs. Everything except what they were
looking for. One more week or maybe two and he was calling this a waste of
time.
If
he could just stay the hell away from the professor for another week or two,
then everything would be fine. He moved down lower in the stands to sit with
the main student body. He told himself this was to blend in with the popular
kids. Their drug activity was different than that of the street kids. Usually
originating in Mommy and Daddy’s medicine cabinet, or through an older friend
who mysteriously dropped out of college but never seemed to have a job. Sex
seemed the entre into the group and he wasn’t sure which route to go, the girls
or the guys. Either way it was tricky.
“Who
knew Dr. Talbot was such a fox? Can’t stop looking at him. Wonder if he is up
for a little private tutoring?"
"Ask that kid, Spicoli. He’s been staying after class and he
gets good grades. He’s bombing his other classes."
"What?
Oh, my God. Do you think Dr. Talbot is gay?"
"Oh,
come on just look at him. Seriously, and didn’t you notice the way Spicoli
really opens up in that class, it’s almost like the two of them are having some
deep conversational shit, but it’s about history. Dude’s gay. And Spicoli is
probably…”
Paul
made his way down the bleachers and out onto the concessions level concourse,
his heart beating too fast. Shit. He was careful. Gossip. It was just gossip.
That’s all it was. Just gossip. Kids talked. Kids made up shit to suit their
own petty jealousies.
He
stood in line for a drink, playing with the idea of getting out of the stadium
and going someplace quiet. He caught sight of Grey out of the corner of his eye
going into the men’s room at the far end of the concourse. He waited a minute
then followed. No one noticed. He just needed to take a piss. Nothing wrong
with that.
* * * * *
Grey
could feel people watching him. He could hear his name float on the night
breeze every so often. His bruises were a topic of speculation, as was his
sexuality, not to mention his hotness. He couldn’t concentrate on the game
enough to pretend he understood the sport. He knew that their team was winning
going into the third quarter, and that the band was incredible. Something about
drums and drummers had always been his weakness. It wasn’t the crowd that made
him nervous, it was knowing that at least one set of the eyes watching him
belonged to a man he couldn’t be seen with. One he wanted desperately to be
with.
After
the break when the stands were packed once again he bid his fellow teachers goodbye
and made his way out to the concessions level and the restroom. He was just
washing his hands when the door opened and trouble with a capital Paul walked
in. His gaze took in the empty room before coming to rest on him. Grey’s
stomach did a peculiar back flip off the high dive.