“That sounds like the blades of a chopper approaching,” she said.
“That’s good, Coal. That is exactly what the sound is. Can you move forward?”
Coal’s hands were sweating as she used her fingers to move the joystick forward. She sensed the movement inside the goggles. “That feels really strange, like I am actually moving.”
“Are you comfortable with it?”
“Yes.” She moved the joystick forward and then side to side.
“Will you walk down to the end of the street and stop there?” Del asked.
Coal moved the joystick and the soldier walked forward, instinctively scanning from side to side watching for the enemy. She could hear the crunching of rocks under the soldier’s feet, and when she moved her head down, she saw the soldier carrying a rifle identical to the one she had used. The thumping of helicopter rotors grew louder and she looked up and to the left to see a large Huey passing overhead. The copter’s gunner was sitting inside the open door, his legs dangling through the air. He waved as they passed over, causing her to smile and lift her hand.
Del watched the movement in Coal, and realized she was submerging into the video well.
She continued forward and watched as the other soldiers in the unit, returning from their assignments as they made their patrol rounds, surrounded her soldier. She could hear the gentle bantering of the other soldiers, but could not make out their words.
“Let’s fall into place, soldiers, and for God’s sake keep your eyes open,” the squad leader barked out in her ears as he turned and led them forward.
As the squad began moving forward, the auditory atmosphere began to change. Coal could hear the barking of a dog somewhere off to her right, and she remembered the huge black dog they had passed on so many occasions chained to a tree in the backyard of one of the homes. Her mouth went dry and her heart rate soared with the memory.
Del could see Coal licking her lips. “Are you thirsty?”
“Yes, my throat is parched,” she answered.
“Hit the pause button, and I will hand you the water.”
Coal did as instructed and depressed the button. The goggles flickered, and then went dark.
Del twisted the lid from the bottle and placed it in her hand. “How are you feeling so far?”
“I’m doing okay, Doc. It’s surprising how real this feels.”
She took a long drink of the water. “I can feel the heat and taste the dust in the air,” she remarked. “I never could get enough to drink to wash that taste out of my mouth.”
Del smiled. It was good she was remembering other facts than just the trauma she experienced. “Let me know when you’ve had enough to drink and are ready to move on.”
Coal took another drink and blindly handed Del the bottle.
“Push the button when you are ready.”
She took a breath and pressed the button to activate the video. The goggles glowed for several seconds as the scene came back to life. The unit froze in place until she realized she had to use the joystick to move them forward.
She pressed the joystick forward and the group moved together in unison down a wide alley until they reached another broad street. This one was not deserted. Cars lined along the curb. Children were playing in the street, kicking a soccer ball between them until they spied her group’s approach, then they came running toward the soldiers. Coal gasped for breath. She remembered how beautiful the children were, but also that in some areas children occasionally were bombs, their tiny little bodies strapped with explosives as they rushed into a unit of soldiers in hopes of candy or money. Several American soldiers died from the explosions as the child, sacrificed in the name of war, brought great honor to his family. She felt her arms rise lifting her rifle as the children approached and a dark-eyed child stopped in front of her. She felt her lips curling into a smile as her hand disappeared and then returned with a chocolate bar she handed to the child, who rushed quickly away to enjoy her gift.
The smile left her face when the children, like ghosts, disappeared and angry voices were shouting down at the children and the soldiers who had begun walking down the street, their ever-vigilant eyes scanning for threats. She raised her head as her eyes scanned the windows for any signs of a sniper. She heard the droning of approaching helicopters once more and looked up to see three flying quickly overhead on their way back to base. Her nerves were tense as the additional sounds threatened to paralyze her movements and she felt her breathing becoming more rapid. She felt her skin breaking out in a cold sweat, and she pressed the button to pause the video.
Del watched her carefully for several seconds to see if she would continue, and then spoke softly to her, “I think that’s enough for tonight.”
Coal certainly wasn’t going to argue with her. She was relieved to be able to escape the stimulation of the video.
“Pull the goggles up and then you can take the helmet off,” Del said as she took the joystick from Coal’s tight grip. She placed the joystick and then the helmet on the table beside her. “I think you did remarkably well for a first time. How do you feel?”
Coal made a motion to stand up from the recliner, but Del held her in place. “You need to sit and relax for a few minutes,” she instructed, handing her a fresh bottle of water. “You may feel a bit nauseated, like you’re getting motion sickness, but that is quite common for virtual reality therapy.”
“I feel fine, Doc,” she said, as she took the bottle of water from Del. She opened it and took a long drink.
Del could see the obvious signs of the stress to Coal’s system. Her shirt and hair were soaked with perspiration and there was still a look of panic in her eyes. It was obvious she was ready to escape the room for the outdoors and some fresh air.
“Are you feeling comfortable with this form of therapy?” Del asked.
“Comfortable, no, but if you’re asking if I can handle it, then yes,” Coal answered a bit sharply.
“What about it makes you uncomfortable, Coal?”
“It’s so realistic, it’s almost like being back in the desert, but I assume that’s the way it should feel.”
“Exactly, but remember we will take this on at your pace, so you can adjust all you need before we move on.”
She nodded her head and stood up to leave the room.
Del followed her out to the waiting area and smiled at Mary Leah. They watched as Coal quickly disappeared out the front door. Mary Leah turned and looked at Del with concern.
“She’s okay. She just needs some fresh air.”
“She looks like she’s been through the wringer,” Mary Leah said.
“It wasn’t easy for her, but she did great for the first session. Make sure she gets plenty to drink she worked up a good sweat in there. Also, don’t be surprised if she gets nauseated on the road home, it’s a type of motion sickness sometimes associated with virtual reality, but nothing to be worried about.”
She walked Mary Leah to the door and locked it behind her. She returned to the office to review the videotape of Coal’s session.
†
Mary Leah walked out to find her leaning against the back of the car. “Are we ready to head for home or do you need a few minutes?”
“I’m ready, sweetheart,” she answered, and climbed inside the car.
Mary Leah turned the key and Coal asked, “Would you mind if I roll the window down? I need some fresh air.”
“No problem at all, do we need to stop for something to drink?”
“That would be great. I’ll even treat you to an ice cream cone if you’ll stop.”
“You have so got a deal,” Mary Leah said as she pulled from the parking lot.
†
When they arrived home, she looked much more relaxed and announced, “I’m going to take a shower.”
“Okay, baby,” she said. “I’m going to get the coffeepot ready for in the morning and then get my clothes ready for work.”
Coal stripped out of her still damp clothes and quickly rinsed the sweat from her body. She was bone weary, and after drying and taking her medicine, she slipped into the bed. Mary Leah walked into the room to get her clothes to iron and said, “I won’t be much longer and then I’ll join you.”
“All right, honey,” she answered.
Ten minutes later when Mary Leah returned with freshly ironed clothes, she found her fast asleep. She put her clothes away and finished her nightly routine before climbing into bed beside a softly snoring Coal. She watched her lover sleep for several minutes, glad to see her relaxed and that the tension left over from the intense session had left her body.
“I did it again, didn’t I?” she said as Mary Leah walked back into the bedroom.
“Did what, honey?”
“Fell asleep on you again.”
Mary Leah handed her a cup of coffee. “You were worn out last night.”
“Yeah, I was, but I feel like I’m neglecting you.”
“Oh, baby, you are not neglecting me,” Mary Leah said.
Coal sipped on her coffee as she listened to her lover. She knew Mary Leah would never complain, but it didn’t make her feel any less guilty. “Tonight I should be able to stay awake.”
“Really, Coal, it’s not a big deal. I’m more concerned with you getting plenty of sleep right now.”
Deciding to change the subject, she asked, “What would you like for supper?”
“Do you think you will feel up to grilling us some chicken breasts?”
“I think I can handle that. Would you like them barbecued?”
“I will make us a salad and some corn if you will handle the chicken.”
She smiled at her warmly. “You have a deal, my love.”
†
Coal fed Shadow before leaving for work. “We will go for a ride soon, I promise, big boy,” she said as she placed fresh hay in his bin. He looked at her with big brown eyes. “Okay, I get the message,” she said and opened the stall to lead him out into the aisle. She saddled Shadow and rode him to work.
Melissa and Stormy were sipping coffee on the front porch when she rode into the yard. “Good morning, ladies,” she said.
“You look well rested,” Melissa said.
“I should be. I slept like a rock, and fell asleep on your sister, yet again,” she answered. “How are you feeling, Stormy?”
“Still a bit sore, but nothing like before. I’m ready to get to work.”
“Stan plans to have you drive the truck today while the boys load and I’ll take over the rake.”
“I wish I could do more,” she said.
“Don’t worry there will be plenty of haying to be done before this summer is over,” she reassured her. “Plus we have horses to green break.”
Stormy’s eyes glittered with excitement.
“Can you swim?” Melissa asked.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good, we do things a little differently around here,” she said.
“How’s that, ma’am?”
“You’ll find out this weekend,” Melissa said mysteriously.
Coal chuckled and dismounted Shadow. She unsaddled him and draped the saddle and blanket over the porch railing and removed his bridle.
“Aren’t you going to put him in the corral?”
“It wouldn’t do any good,” Melissa said. “Shadow would just jump the fence and chase after her once they leave for the hayfields. I swear he follows her around like a puppy.”
“That’s my boy,” she said as she stroked down his back.
“You want some coffee?” Melissa asked.
“I’m good, thanks. I’ve had half a pot already.” Coal climbed the steps and sat on the porch swing. “Are the boys in gear yet?”
“They were finishing up breakfast when I left,” Stormy said. “We had biscuits and gravy left over from last night that Harley used. He cooked fresh eggs too.”
“I hope you made the gravy. There’s not one among that lot that can make good gravy.”
She smiled at her. “I did and the biscuits as well. Gene did really well with the cubed steak though. It appears you taught him well.”
The morning was getting warm quickly, and there was no sign of a breeze. “Looks like it’s going to be another hot one,” Coal said.
“Triple digits again today,” Melissa said. “Are you ready for egg salad sandwiches?”
“I can never get enough of them,” she said.
“I think I’ll do some baking too,” Melissa said.
“Do you need me to do anything before we head out?”
“No, Gene has already filled the coolers and I’ll bring more tea and lemonade when I bring lunch.”
The door to the bunkhouse swung open and the crew began to filter out. “I guess that’s our cue to get a move on,” she said to Stormy.
“Let’s load up and get to it, boys,” Stan said. “And girls,” he added as Coal and Stormy settled on the bed of the truck.
Coal shot him a grin then he slipped behind the wheel of the truck.
†
When they reached the fields, Stan dropped Coal and Harley off at their tractors. He and Roy would continue cutting the next fields while Tom, Lucas, and Gene loaded the bales. Coal pulled the rake in front of Harley. They started to work as Stormy pulled the truck up to the bales they had left the previous day and the boys started to load. Coal pulled her hat down over her eyes and smiled as she watched a hawk circle the fields.
Our guardian angel,
she thought.
She finished raking and watched as Stormy drove the first load back to the barn. Harley was a few hundred yards behind her so she drove over to the next field and began to rake the hay to prepare for his arrival. She could see Stan and Roy stirring up dust as they cut the field next to the one she had just entered. Coal broke out in a smile when she saw Shadow grazing the field they had just finished baling. She hadn’t seen him arrive at the field. He lifted his head to watch her drive toward the next field. A few minutes later, he trotted beside the tractor and when she lowered the rake, he dashed off to find a spot to graze.
She made several passes with the rake and then pulled the tractor beneath the shade trees to grab two bottles of water out of a cooler. Her throat was parched and she knew Harley was probably thirsty too. She drove up next to him and tossed him a bottle of water.
“Thanks, you must have been reading my mind,” he said as he twisted the cap. “I feel like I could drink a dozen of these.”
“I hear you. I feel like I’ve eaten a couple pounds of dust even through the bandana.”
He took a long drink of water and looked across the field. “We sure could use some rain, but I hope we can get this round of hay in beforehand.”
“Is there any chance for rain soon? I’ve given up watching the weather,” she said.
“Possibly on Sunday, but who knows. That could change ten times before the weekend.”
She became lost in her thoughts as memories of the heat and drought of the desert flooded back to her. She thought of Tessa and the guilt of her lover’s death rode her hard. She felt a lump of emotion lodge in her throat. She realized she needed to move to get her mind focused on something other than Tessa.
Harley saw the pain in her eyes and his heart went out to the young warrior. “Let’s get back to it and finish this field before the boss gets here with lunch.”
Coal nodded, pulled the bandana over her mouth, and started the tractor. She waited for Harley to pull in front of her then split off a row ahead of him to continue the raking. As she made the turn at the end of the row, her eyes landed on Shadow. Tonight they would go for a ride. Both of them needed a run in the wide-open fields to stretch their muscles. It would help to clear her mind, or so she hoped.
She lost herself in the mundane task of raking the hay and when she looked up again, she saw Melissa driving the gator across the fields. She got Harley’s attention, gestured eating to him, and raised her rake to drive back to the trees for lunch. Stormy and the boys had also entered the field they were working. Coal pointed toward the trees. Stormy turned to see Melissa approaching and sent her a thumb’s-up sign. She watched as Stormy stopped the truck and told the crew to load up so she could drive them to lunch. She waved Harley past and turned back to retrieve Stan and the others for lunch.
†
Melissa lowered the tailgate on the gator and started laying out lunch. A huge platter held egg salad sandwiches accompanied by several bags of chips and a large stack of fresh baked brownies.
Gene and the rest of the loaders had served themselves plates when she and Harley arrived. She cut off her tractor just as Gene let out a loud moan of pleasure.
“Tell me that’s a brownie you are groaning about,” Harley teased him.
“Oh my Lord, boss, these are the best brownies ever,” Gene said, taking another bite.
“You better hurry before he starts on seconds,” Melissa teased.
She walked in line behind Stormy. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m good. A little sore, but not bad.”
“I brought your pills if you need one,” Melissa said.
“No, thanks, I’m good,” she assured Melissa.
“How long are you planning to work today?” Melissa asked Stan.
“Hopefully until we get the field they are working on done.”
“I’ll put on a roast for you guys then,” she said.
“That’s great, boss,” Harley said. “Would it be too much to ask you to make a loaf of your homemade bread?”
Melissa chuckled. “I think that can be arranged, but it will probably take two for this crew.”
“Two would be great,” Harley said with a grin.
†
After lunch, the crew picked up the pace and it took two more loads to finish off the field. When Stan called it a night, they rode back to the barn and worked together to get the last load into the loft. Shadow had followed them back to the barn and was grazing in the yard when they finished. She let out a whistle and he came rushing to her.
“He is just like a puppy,” Stormy said.
“A big one,” Coal said as she draped her arms around his neck. “Are you ready for a run, big boy?”
“I’ll be glad when I can get back in the saddle,” Stormy said.
“When can you ride?”
“Two more days,” she answered.
“Just in time for us to do some breaking, if you’re up to it.”
“I’ll do my best to be ready,” she answered with a grin.
“Let’s get you saddled,” Coal said and walked to the front porch to retrieve her tack. Minutes later, she left the crew behind.
†
They cantered across a field and as he warmed up, she pushed him faster and faster until her hair was flying behind her in the wind. She had no particular destination in mind and allowed Shadow to pick the direction he wanted to run. He galloped west toward the sinking sun. When he reached a small patch of bluffs, he slowed to a walk, breathing hard from the exertion, his muscles twitching with adrenaline.
“That felt good, didn’t it, big boy?” she asked as she patted his neck. He had worked into a lather of sweat in the heat, and when they reached the edge of a bluff, she dismounted and loosened the cinch on his saddle. Coal draped the reins over his neck and stood beside him as they watched the sky burst into a palette of brilliant color as the bright orb of the sun sank to the horizon as dusk approached.
With a deep sigh of contentment, she tightened the cinch and mounted Shadow for a slow ride home.
†
Mary Leah’s car was in the drive as they entered the yard. Coal tended to Shadow and walked to the house.
“Hey, baby,” Mary Leah said from the kitchen when she entered the house.
“Hey, doll, how was your day?”
“It was good, but better now that you’re here,” Mary Leah said as she spun around to kiss Coal. “Are you still up to grilling some chicken?”