Authors: Barbara White Daille
Chapter Seventeen
After the hotel’s breakfast buffet on Sunday, Jason wandered out to the corral. Robbie had asked to go for a ride on Bingo, the small Shetland Jed kept for the kids. Cole was standing outside the corral fence, watching his son as the stable hand led him and the pony into the corral.
Robbie mounted without help, then took up the reins. Bingo started off at a leisurely trot.
Cole looked about ready to burst with pride.
Jason could understand the feeling. “Looks like a pro already.”
Cole nodded. “He’s got a ways to go, but he’s getting there. He’s had some experience.”
“Good thing. A kid living on a ranch needs to feel at home in the saddle.”
For a few minutes, they watched Robbie and Bingo.
Eventually, Cole said, “Scott comes out to ride once in a while. He’s not as comfortable on horseback, but then, Layne never has the time to run him out here for some practice.”
Wondering if that was a dig at him for not being around to lighten Layne’s workload, he looked at the other man.
I’ll teach him to ride
, he wanted to say.
I’ll be around from now on.
But he hadn’t told anyone except Jed about his plans.
“Being a mama’s not easy,” he said instead.
“Or a daddy. Either way, it’s a challenge, let me tell you. But one I wouldn’t give up. Some folks aren’t cut out for the responsibility, though.”
Here it comes.
The blast he’d been expecting since he’d first seen the man again. He tightened his grip on the fence rail, intending to keep the same tight hold on his temper.
“Terry was worthless,” Cole continued, surprising him. “Scott missed out on a lot of things while he was in the picture. Still, kids catch on fast, given the right start. A couple of years putting in some riding time, and he’ll be Robbie’s age and looking like a pro, too.”
“Yeah.” He had to swallow hard past the lump in his throat.
I’d like to be around for those years. I’ve missed too many other important ones.
He missed his son. For about the thousandth time that morning, he shot another look at his watch to make sure the second hand was still moving. According to Jed’s estimate, Scott and Jill and Layne should be arriving soon.
“Kids catch on,” Cole said again, “but we can’t catch up. And it’s not easy knowing we can’t turn back time.”
“What good would that do? Things would all just turn out the same.”
“I imagine some would and some wouldn’t. But the truth is, nobody knows which. There’s no point in worrying over it. Like I told Layne, all we can do is go forward.”
“I’m trying that for Scott’s sake, but your sister doesn’t seem inclined to go along.”
“That could be. Remember when you and Layne first came to me about you two getting married?”
He nodded.
“I talked to her afterward. I was dead set against signing the paperwork and wanted her to give it some time, to wait until she was of age. But she kept coming at me with reasons until she hit on the one that made me say yes.” Cole stared at him for a moment, his gaze level and his expression neutral. “You need to find another way to state your case.”
After a moment, Cole leaned on the rail and went back to watching the activity in the corral.
He did the same, both surprised and pleased at the man’s show of support. They stood there in silence. As he watched Cole’s little boy on the Shetland, he pictured his son’s face and he heard his son’s laugh.
It took him a minute to realize the laughter wasn’t just in his mind.
Cole turned back toward the Hitching Post before he did.
“Uncle Cole!” Scott called, sounding more excited than Jason had ever heard him before.
He turned.
Scott spotted him.
“Jason!”
he shrieked, more excited still. He ran across the yard toward them, not headed for his uncle, not focused on Robbie or Bingo, but running right to
him
with his arms outstretched.
Dropping into a crouch, he caught his son in a bear hug. His throat tightened. He tried to speak but couldn’t get out a word. Instead, he buried his face against his boy’s baby-soft hair. And he wished with everything in him that he had the power to turn back time.
* * *
L
AYNE
WATCHED
J
ASON
hug Scott and suddenly felt as light-headed as if she’d been hit with another round of the flu.
They were both oblivious to her approach, but Cole stood watching her. By the time she reached them, Jason had settled her son on his hip. Scott rested his head against Jason’s chest. Starbursts of pain exploded in her head. She put one hand on the corral railing to steady herself.
“Cole,” she said quietly, “could you take Scott in to see Grandpa Jed?”
“Sure.”
He reached for Scott, who clung to Jason. “Wanna stay, Mommy.
Please?
”
“You...you can see Jason again in a little while, honey. But I know Grandpa Jed and Paz want to see you, too.”
“C’mon, Scotty.”
Cole reached for him, and this time, Scott went without protest. He waved at them over Cole’s shoulder. “Bye, Jason. Bye, Mommy.”
They both said goodbye and waved in return.
As soon as Cole and Scott were out of earshot, she turned to Jason. “What are you doing? Isn’t it bad enough you’re leaving? Do you have to make sure Scott’s even more attached to you before you go?”
“Who says I’m leaving?”
“Sugar says. And Jed told her, so please don’t try to tell me it’s not true.”
“I’m not leaving Scott again, no matter what.”
“Right. As if I can’t see through that. I’ve fielded enough lies and broken promises when it comes to my son.”
“
Our son
, dammit.” He slammed his hand on the fence rail. “The least you can do is acknowledge I’m his daddy. And you’re jumping to conclusions without giving me a chance, the way you did years ago when you threw me out. I’ve done everything I can think of to make amends, to show you I’m sorry for walking away.” He swallowed visibly and took a deep breath. “Get this. I...am...not...leaving. Not this time. Not permanently. Jed’s hired me on, and I’m headed back to Dallas only to pick up all my gear.”
He took another, deeper breath and let it out more slowly. “I didn’t lie about wanting a relationship with Scott—an ongoing relationship. I want to be here to see him whenever I can. If there’s nothing else we can agree on, I hope we can come to terms on that.”
Her vision blurred. “I can’t trust you—”
“You
won’t
trust me. That’s what you mean. Layne, Terry doesn’t want to see Jill. Or Scott. I want to see them both. I’m not Terry. But you’re never going to see me for who I am, are you?” Again, he took a breath. “You’ve made me a victim in the fallout from your second divorce. All right, I can deal with that, one way or another. But by cutting me off from Scott, you’ve made him a victim, too. And that’s something I can’t handle.”
* * *
“Y
OU
SURE
YOU
won’t stay to supper and just head out in the morning?” Jed frowned. For some reason, Jason had made a last-minute change of plans. “We’re having a celebration, after all, with the newlyweds home again. And anyhow, I thought you were staying the rest of the weekend.”
The boy wouldn’t meet his eyes, just stood shaking his head. “The sooner I get to Dallas, the sooner I can be back.”
“And you
will
be back?” That earned him a look.
“Of course.”
“Does this sudden rush to leave town have something to do with Layne?”
Jason sighed. “Jed,
everything
has to do with Layne, one way or another. She’s Scott’s mama. But to answer you directly, no. No matter what she says or thinks, I’m coming back to stay.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. Your room’ll be waiting.”
Jason shook his head. “I’m not going to tie up one of your hotel rooms. When I get back, I’ll bunk down with the rest of the hands.”
“What for? You’re family.” This time, his comment brought a laugh.
“I’m the ex-husband of your grandson-in-law’s sister.”
“That’s good enough for me.”
“Thanks. But I’ll still take the bunkhouse.” Jason reached out to shake hands. “I’ll call you once I talk to my ranch manager and know the date I’ll be headed back.”
“You do that.” Leaning against the porch rail, he watched while the boy went around to the parking area and climbed into his pickup truck. He continued to watch until the truck became a mere speck in the road.
He was standing in the same position a few minutes later when Tina and Paz came out onto the porch.
“We’ve been looking all over for you,” Tina said. “It’s almost time to eat. What are you doing out here?”
“Seeing Jason off.”
“Off?”
Paz repeated. She sank onto the porch swing and looked at him in dismay.
“Where is he going?” Tina asked.
“Back to Dallas to pick up whatever he owns and come home.”
“Home?” Paz echoed. “You mean home to Layne?”
“Or just home to Cowboy Creek?”
He shook his head at Tina. “Don’t be so negative. The boy wanted a job here, and I’ve given it to him. That’s one step he’s taking in the right direction. I told him we’d have a room waiting—though he’s insisting on bunking with the other hands. What I didn’t bother mentioning was, I also have high hopes of keeping my successful matchmaking run going.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Abuelo. From the way he’s been avoiding Layne this afternoon, it looks like he’s given up on a reconciliation with her. And she might be even harder to convince.”
“Don’t be so sure. Yesterday, I specifically told Sugar to let Layne know Jason was leaving...but
not
that he planned to come back. The girl’s reaction was everything we could have hoped for.”
Paz gasped. “She was upset,”
“Darned straight, she was. And that was my entire point—to show her just how she would feel if he took off again. She’s still resisting, but I’ve got thoughts on how to handle that.” He smiled. “Don’t you worry, ladies, I’m not giving up. Those two are meant to be together. You know it. I know it. Now, we just have to help them see it, too.”
* * *
F
OR
THE
FIRST
time in days, Layne heard boot steps in the hallway. At the triple tap on the door, she shook her head. Cole. Since her trip with the kids out to the Hitching Post on Sunday, he or Tina had called her daily. And now here he was in person.
When she opened the door, Scott greeted Cole with his usual enthusiasm, a shade less energetic than the way he had thrown himself into Jason’s arms outside the corral. She blinked. Every replay she made of that moment left her misty-eyed.
“Checking up on me?” she asked, her voice unsteady.
“Just checking in. I had to stop by the hardware store again and figured I’d swing by.”
“Good to see you.” She led him into the kitchen. “What’ll it be?”
He took a seat at the table, and if he noticed the absence of the extra place mat, he didn’t comment on it. “Sweet tea. And maybe some sympathy.”
“Sympathy?”
she asked, startled, thinking immediately of Tina and the baby on the way. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing with me. I’m offering it to you.”
She smiled wryly as she went to the refrigerator. “What makes you think I need it?”
“Sugar says you seem down.”
“Just a delayed reaction from the flu.”
“Is it? Or is it the result of what happened out at the ranch the other day?”
“You mean Scott’s big hello to Jason?”
“No, I mean your reaction to Scott’s big hello to Jason and then the fact he left town less than an hour after your conversation.”
“Coincidence.”
“I don’t think so.”
Though she tried to shrug off his statement, she couldn’t fool Cole. As she set his glass of tea on the table, he gave her the big-brother look that had always made her fess up. And truthfully, she felt the need of a confession.
She took her seat across from him. “He said I’m making him a victim by comparing him too much to Terry. And he said...” she swallowed hard “...he said I’m making Scott a victim, too.”
“And what did you say to that?” he asked, his tone so filled with concern he broke through her defenses without even trying.
Her laugh sounded more like a sob. “I didn’t get to say anything. He just walked away, like he always does.”
“All right, then what did you think about that?”
“I think
we
were victims. You and I. And I’m working at getting over that. But—” Her voice broke. “But I would never take anything out on Scott.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.” He leaned forward. “I think Jason realizes that, too. You know how things get said in the heat of the moment. But you also saw how he was with Scott. He’s attached to the boy whether you want him to be or not.”
When she said nothing, he reached for her hand. “Layne, I’ve heard Jason talk about him, and he knows all the things a daddy ought to know about his son. What’s more, I’ve heard the pride in his voice whenever he mentions Scott’s name. I think the man regrets what happened, about not being around.” Holding her gaze, he said gently, “And I think he deserves a second chance.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jason parked the pickup truck outside Greg’s house and rang the front doorbell. When he had called earlier, Greg had insisted he stop by.
Within seconds, his buddy stood in the open doorway grinning at him. “Well, come on in. I was beginning to think you were never going to make it back this way again. Beer?”
He nodded.
“And I’ve got a pizza in the oven. It’s just us. My girls are out for the night.”
The statement made him think of Mama’s Night Off—and what a bad idea that had been.
He followed Greg into the kitchen and took a seat at the breakfast bar. When Greg handed him a longneck, they clinked their bottles together in a toast—although why they did that, he had no idea. “We celebrating something?”
“Considering on the phone you sounded as though you’d won a world final and your ‘quick trip’ to New Mexico lasted more than a week, I’d say your visit was a success. It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if you’d found a reason to hang up your spurs, too. And that’s cause for celebration in my book.” Greg leaned on the counter. “You got to see your boy.”
He nodded.
“So, who does he take after?”
“My ex in coloring, but he favors me in a few ways, too.” He talked about their similarities and resemblances, then ran down a mental list of what he’d learned about his son in such a short time. Scott’s liking for syrup, storybooks and wearing crayons down to nubs. “His favorite cookie is chocolate chip, just like mine.”
“Hate to tell you, buddy, but
every
kid’s favorite is chocolate chip.”
“Now
that’s
bull.”
Greg laughed. He took the pizza pan out of the oven and proceeded to serve their supper—cutting one long line down the middle of the pizza, dividing it into halves. “Obviously, you saw your ex.”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“And nothing.”
“Then you’re home again and that’s it?”
“No. I’m giving notice and going back. I’ve got a job in Cowboy Creek.”
Greg gave a long whistle. “That’s more than
nothing
. Sounds like there must be some interest there.”
“I’m not going back to
Layne
,” he snapped.
“And sounds like I hit a sore spot.”
“You talk too much. Anybody ever tell you that?”
“My wife. Constantly.” Greg took a huge bite from his slice and sat chewing it as if to prove he could keep quiet if he wanted to.
“All right. It
is
a sore spot,” he admitted. “If she had her way, I wouldn’t get near my son.”
Greg swallowed and shook his head. “That’s bad. You need to do whatever it takes to get her to come around.”
You need to find another way to state your case.
He needed to apologize.
On the long ride back here from Cowboy Creek, he’d run all his conversations with Jed and Cole and Layne through his head. He’d replayed all the times he had spent with Scott.
And now, hearing his best buddy stating essentially what Layne’s brother had said, he’d finally come to his senses. Finally figured out the truth.
He and Layne both might have been to blame for what had happened before, but in the long run, this time around the fault was his. He’d wanted Layne to trust him. To forgive him.
Instead, he’d given her every reason to believe he would run.
* * *
W
HEN
THE
KNOCK
came at the door, Layne’s heart jumped to her throat.
The sound of Scott’s happy squeal brought tears to her eyes.
Blinking them away, she opened the door. Jason stood in the hallway, and she didn’t know where to look first. He looked good, so good, just as he had the day she’d first seen him standing there a couple of weeks ago.
She swept her gaze from his tousled hair to his caramel eyes to his dark-shadowed jaw. Finally, she looked down at her son, who had wrapped his arms around Jason’s leg as if he never meant to let him go.
“You’re back,” she said.
“You noticed.” He ruffled Scott’s hair. He cleared his throat and shifted his Stetson from one hand to the other. “I’m on my way out to the Hitching Post. Jed asked me to stop by. He’s invited you and the kids for supper tonight. He said Tina tried to reach you but didn’t get an answer.”
“Really?” She frowned. “We’ve been here all afternoon. She must have called earlier when I was working. I wonder why she didn’t leave a message, as usual.”
“Beats me.” He glanced down. “What do you say, Scott, want to go have supper with Grandpa Jed?”
Scott squealed again. “Yes-s-s.
Es-s-s
. Scott have supper. Jason have supper, too?”
“I sure will.” He grinned at her son, then shot a look in her direction.
“Mommy have supper sure, too?” Scott asked.
After a hesitation, she said, “Yes, I sure will have supper, too.” She had already promised Cole she and the kids would come back out to the ranch soon. She just hadn’t expected Jason to be joining them, too.
She hadn’t really believed he would come back.
“We’ve got a while before we have to be at the Hitching Post,” he said.
“Oh.” She looked at her son. “Scott, can you go put your cars away in your bedroom for Mommy?”
He nodded, stepping backward, his gaze still on Jason.
When he had gone to pick up his toys, she turned back to Jason and shrugged. “Can I get you anything?”
“A comfortable armchair and a few minutes of your time.”
She hesitated, still hovering near the door. She could—
should
—tell him to leave. She and the kids could get out to the Hitching Post on their own. But curiosity and another feeling she didn’t want to label won out.
She curled up on her corner of the couch. He took the armchair. Seeing him sitting there made her heart do a little flip, half from pleasure, the other half from nerves. “Before you start, I owe you an apology.”
He raised his brows in question.
“You were right about my not seeing you as you are. But it had nothing to do with Terry. Even when you and I first got married, I couldn’t...didn’t trust you completely.”
“Because we fought so much.”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath and let it out again. “But that wasn’t your fault, it was mine. Fighting and making up with you was my way of keeping you at a distance. Of not getting too close, so you wouldn’t see I was someone you couldn’t love.”
“Why would you think that? I
always
loved you.”
“I know that now. I wanted to believe it back then. And I did love you, Jason. I still do.” Her voice broke. “But down deep, I didn’t think you could love me. I didn’t think anyone could.” She linked her trembling fingers in her lap and stared at them.
As much as she had confided to him in the past, there were things she hadn’t said. Things he deserved to know. “When I was growing up, my mother virtually ignored me, and my dad spent most of his time telling me how worthless I was. How no one would ever care about me. He did the same and worse to Cole, especially whenever Cole stepped in to help me.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. She brushed it away. “I hated knowing that protecting me made things harder for him. But I don’t know what I would have done without him. And then I met you. And
loved
you, right from the beginning. But after all those years of listening to my dad, I couldn’t believe you would ever really care about me.”
Jason moved to sit beside her and take her hand. “I didn’t make things any better by fighting with you.”
“What else could you do? You had to protect yourself.” Stunned, she raised her hand to her mouth as if that would help her take back the words. “
You had to protect yourself
, the way Cole protected me. That makes me just like my father.”
“No, it doesn’t. It’s not the same thing at all. And I was as bad as you were about the fighting. Only sometimes...” his smile made her hot all over “...it was all about the makeup sex.” Then he shook his head. “Jed said to me we were young and immature. He was right. That’s all it was. I saw pictures you kept of us from when we got married, and the one Sugar took of us the day we found out you were pregnant. We were having a baby, Layne, and we were still kids ourselves.”
He swallowed so hard, she could see the muscles in his neck strain. “We were probably scared without even realizing it,” he continued. “And we sure had to be stressed. That’s partly why I started following the rodeo.”
She stiffened.
“Hear me out.” He wrapped his arm around her as if afraid she would get up and walk away. “Yeah, I like riding, but it was more than that. I was worried to hell and back—about being a daddy, about taking care of you and the baby, about paying the bills and providing everything you’d need. It was the thought of winning one of those big purses that drove me to the circuit. And the more you argued with me about it, the more stressed I got.” Again, he shook his head. “It’s no wonder we fought so much. Or that you kicked me out. That last night—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“We have to.” He brushed his chin against her hair. “That night, you didn’t know where I went, and when I came back, you wouldn’t let me explain. I know you figured I ran off to the Cantina and had myself a good time. But I didn’t. I went home.”
“Home?”
“Well,” he amended, “to my mother’s house. That’s where I was headed anyway.” He laughed softly. “Instead, I somehow wound up next door at the Browleys’. Mrs. B fed me supper and chocolate chip cookies.” Suddenly, he sobered. “Later, when I tried to come home and you refused to let me anywhere near you, I decided it was time to go.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry, too. But I swear to you, I thought I was doing the right thing. I figured you were better off without me. I knew Cole would take care of you. I knew you had plenty of friends. It seemed the smart thing was just to make a clean break and a fresh start.” He reached up to run his finger down her cheek, wiping away tears. “I’m sorry, Layne. I shouldn’t have left.”
“I didn’t give you much choice.” She rested her head against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat thumping, hear his indrawn breath.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “Then I came back, and things weren’t any better.” His voice rumbled in her ear. “I wanted to see Scott, and I didn’t plan to fight with you, but I guess you weren’t the only one with deep-down troubles. I wanted you to forgive me for walking away, but I didn’t see how you could. Because I couldn’t forgive myself.” He sighed. “I should have tried harder to keep us together.”
“And I should have told you everything instead of pushing you away.”
He leaned back and looked down at her. “I love you. Can we start over again?”
“No.”
He sucked in a breath.
“Last week, I thought about that, too,” she admitted. “But we can’t start over. We already have Scott.”
“And Jill.”
“And Jill,” she echoed, her heart swelling and her eyes filling with fresh tears. What a good man he was. What a good man he had been all along. “Jason... I need to tell you something else. The other day, Scott went into your wallet and pulled everything out of it. When I went to put things back, I found his birth announcement.”
“And here I thought you’d just gone snooping.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” she said, shocked. Then she caught his smile. “I know you saw Scott has my name. Jill does, too. I kept my maiden name when I married Terry because I knew...” She took a deep breath. “I knew I couldn’t give any child we might have his name when I hadn’t given Scott yours.”
Now he took a deep breath. Tears turned his caramel-brown eyes to liquid gold. “Layne,” he said hoarsely. He swallowed hard and ran his finger down her cheek. “Layne, will you marry me again?”
“Do you think we’ve learned enough to keep from making the same mistakes twice?”
“Yeah, I think we have.”
“Then, no kicking anybody out. No walking away, ever again.” She held his gaze. He didn’t flinch. “And no more taking charge. We’re equal partners now. Will you promise me?”
“Promise. Trust me?”
“Always.” She touched his cheek.
He leaned down and kissed her, so long and so thoroughly, she barely registered the sound of Jill’s cries from the bedroom and only belatedly felt Scott tugging on her sweater.
“Mommy, Jill crying.”
“Yes,” she said breathlessly. “I hear her.”
Jason scooped up Scott and set him on his hip. Then he rose, pulling her to her feet along with him. “Let’s go. We can’t keep our hungry little girl waiting.” He put his arm around her and escorted her down the hall and into the kids’ bedroom.
She took a seat on the bed and watched as Jason expertly lifted the baby from her crib. Scott lay on the bed on one side of her, Jason stretched out on the other, and Jill settled down to nurse.
Across the room, she caught their reflection in the dresser mirror. And she smiled at the picture of the family they were meant to be.