Authors: Devon Hartford
It pisses me off. Nobody makes me talk about shit I don’t wanna talk about. I open the car door and climb out.
“Connor! Where are you going!” There’s a desperate quality to her voice that makes me want to hurt her feelings.
I’m a dick. I don’t care. She should know that by now. But I’m not gonna say anything right now because I don’t know what the fuck will spill out my mouth. So I walk up the fuckin sidewalk by myself. I’m a big boy and I can fuckin walk home if I have to. Two blocks and two turns later, I’m all alone, walking past the rich homes north of Melrose.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and listen to another voicemail.
“Bad news, son,” my dad says. “Your mom gambled away your entire inheritance in Vegas. Can you believe she blew it all on nickel slots?”
“I didn’t blow it
all.
I only lost a hundred dollars, Finn,” my mom laughs. “And we don’t have an inheritance anyway.”
Dad starts laughing. “What do you mean, Kell? We have the RV. We can give it to Connor after our trip. He can live in this thing like a king!”
“He won’t want to live in an RV,” Mom chuckles dismissively. “He needs his space, isn’t that right, Connor?”
She’s wrong about that. I know guys who live in their RVs. It’s not a bad way to go. You can park at the beach and enjoy the view all up and down the west coast. Seattle in the summer when it’s hot, San Diego in the winter when it’s cold. I’d just need a trailer to tow my bike and I’d be golden. Maybe that’s exactly what I need to do with my life. Get the fuck out of L.A. and never look back. Maybe Ryan can come with me and we can rob banks like fuckin Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. There’s worse ways to live.
“The good news is,” Dad says, “if you don’t want the RV, we can help you out with a down payment on your first mansion. Would you believe your old man won six hundred bucks on dollar blackjack?”
“He did, Connor! Your dad was like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man last night! Six hundred dollars! I made him take me out to a fancy dinner.”
“And afterward I took her back to the RV and I was
all
Tom Cruise
all
night long.”
I grin. Fuckin Dad.
“That’s awful, Finn,” Mom groans while laughing. “Connor doesn’t even know what Rain Man is.”
“Oh, I almost forgot! We saw the Grand Canyon. It was magnificent, son. You really need to go someday. It really is one of the seven wonders of the world.”
“But would you believe it’s not as large as your father’s mouth?” Mom giggles.
“Too true,” Dad laughs. “I asked your mom if she wanted to take a donkey ride down to the bottom of the canyon, but she said she already rides
my
ass enough as it is.” He laughs to himself. “Anyway, son. Our cross country adventure is almost over and we’re almost home. We’ve had a great time, but we both miss you like crazy and we’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, Connor! Say hi to Ryan and his parents for us! We love you!” Mom makes kissing noises before Dad ends the call.
I stop on the sidewalk and hang my head, ready to fuckin cry right here.
“Who were you talking to?” Lex asks, leaning over to look out her passenger window at me. She must’ve just driven up. Fuckin Hondas. Quietest cars on the road.
“Were you following me?” I growl, instantly angry.
“Yes.” She smiles.
“Don’t be such a fuckin stalker, Warmoth.” I turn around and fast walk the other way. I sounded like a dick, but she shouldn’t be invading my privacy like that.
Her car door opens and closes and cowboy boots click behind me. “What the hell is wrong with you, Connor?!”
I slow, but don’t stop. I almost stop. Fuck. I keep walking.
“Connor! Stop! Please!”
“Fuck! What?!” I turn around and glare at her. “What do you want, Warmoth?!”
She frowns, her face hardening. “You’re an asshole, Connor.”
I’m not arguing.
“I don’t know why I bothered with you. You’re no different now than you were in high school. Having sex with you was a big mistake.”
I know. “What were you expecting? Prince Fuckin Charming? I’m just the cover model, Warmoth. I’m not the guy who buys roses and rings so you can take me home to your parents.” Fuck, it hurts to say it. But it’s true.
She stares at me.
This is the part of the story where she turns around, jumps back in her car, and drives off and I’m supposed to chase her and shit. I know. I’ve read a few of those corny ass books I’ve done covers for. But guess what? I don’t play that shit. “Fuck off, Warmoth. Don’t call me.”
I turn around and keep walking.
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>
ELECTRA
“Come back here, asshole!” I shout as I run after him.
He doesn’t stop.
“You owe me an explanation!” I scream. You would think he would stop or at least slow down or
something
. But
nooo
, Connor keeps going. I finally catch up and grab him by the back of his shirt. “Stop already!”
He spins around, yanking his shirt free. “Go the fuck away,
Brown
Out.”
“Don’t call me that, Connor
Stupid
!”
“Fine,
Skanklin
. Back the fuck off and leave me the fuck alone.” He’s totally serious.
“What is wrong with you, Connor?”
He grinds his jaw and stares at the night sky. “I’m not going to be your fuckin boyfriend.”
“Who said anything about being my boyfriend? I just asked what was on your mind and you flipped out like a crazy person!”
“Yeah, well maybe I am fuckin crazy. You should take that as a hint and move on.”
“No, Connor! I’m not moving on!”
“I am.” He turns to walk away.
I grab the back of his shirt again and pull as hard as I can. “Tell me what the hell is going on, Connor!”
“Would you let fuckin go, Warmoth?” He doesn’t turn around but he stops.
“No! Not until you tell me what’s wrong!”
He sighs heavily and rakes his hand through his hair.
I’m afraid to say anything. I don’t want to spark his anger again. Instead, I place my palm gently against his back.
He winces but doesn’t move away.
After a minute, he turns slowly, reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He punches buttons and puts it on speaker. A voicemail from his parents plays. It sounds like they’re on an RV trip in Vegas. I laugh at his dad’s joke about Tom Cruise. When the message ends, he puts the phone away.
“Your parents are funny,” I grin. “How come you keep them hidden away?”
“Because they’re dead,” he says grimly.
“What? They said they’ll be home soon. Vegas is like four hours from here. They’ll be in L.A. just after midnight.”
“They’re dead, Warmoth.”
“What are you talking about?” I don’t know anything about Connor’s family. In high school, the only things I knew about him were what I saw in school. I have no idea what his home life was like. Or Ryan Hansen’s, for that matter. We weren’t friends. Now, I know all kinds of things about Ryan and his family. Thinking about it, none of them ever mentioned the first thing about Connor’s parents in all the times I visited. Mr. and Mrs. Hansen never asked about Mr. and Mrs. Hughes. You’d think they would have, considering how close Connor is to them. Unless they had some kind of weird feud because of Ryan’s accident? “This doesn’t make any sense, Connor.”
“They’re dead. They died when I was twelve. My uncle raised me after that.”
“Oh my god.” I gasp and cover my mouth. “Are you serious?”
His voice turns robotic. “Yeah. He didn’t
want
to raise me. My uncle never had any kids. He thought having a kid meant you didn’t get laid anymore, so he never wanted any. And he never got married. Just had a string of girlfriends. One after the other. Always had them over at the house. Fucked them in his bedroom.” He smiles morosely. “Maybe that’s when I decided to start chasing girls. If it could chase away my uncle’s pain, it could chase mine, I guess.”
I’m still in shock. It’s hard to take this all in. “I’m so sorry, Connor.”
“My uncle told me straight up I was the reason for his brother’s death, my dad. My parents went on that road trip because their marriage was having problems. My uncle told me they wouldn’t’ve had any problems in the first place if I wasn’t around fuckin things up for them.”
“What a jerk,” I mumble.
“I don’t know if that part is true or not, but I do know they needed some time away from everything. They were arguing all the time for the whole year before the trip. They needed a real vacation to work things out and rekindle their romance or whatever. So they drove their RV across the country and died right before they got home.”
“How? I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but this is all so confusing.” I feel guilty and awful for asking.
“Their RV had a blowout on a long downhill grade on the 15. My dad was trying to avoid hitting a fuckin
washing machine
that fell off the back of a pickup truck. The dumbshits driving it
didn’t tie it down
. The CHP officer told me and my uncle that Mom and Dad’s RV popped a front tire and landed on its side because of god damn
washing
machine
debris. And because of the downhill, an 18-wheeler plowed into the roof of the RV’s cab before it could stop, killing my parents instantly.” His face is tortured and haunted.
“Oh my god, Connor. That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”
“The funny thing is,” he’s not smiling when he says it, “if my parents’ marriage
hadn’t
been having problems, I would’ve been in that RV with them. Then we all would’ve died
together
. My uncle wouldn’t have had to raise me. I wouldn’t have had to deal with him hating my ass and me hating his, or wondering every fuckin day why my parents had to die without me.” His eyes shimmer with profound sorrow.
And like that, the last piece of the puzzle that is Connor Hughes falls into place. I can’t begin to imagine what his life was like after his parents’ death. I don’t
want
to imagine it. The guilt, the heartbreak, the misery. I can gather everything I need to know from the broken look on his face. Inside Connor’s ruggedly muscled manly body is a broken little boy. My heart aches for him. “Oh, Connor. I’m so,
so
sorry.” I take one of his hands in mine and hold it gently.
“Now that you know, please never ask me to talk about this again. Okay?” His face is raw and sad and infinitely heavy.
I nod slowly, my own voice shaky. “Oh—okay.” Something tells me holding it all in isn’t the way to go, but I’m too overwhelmed to argue and I don’t think saying anything now could possibly fix this. It could take a lifetime to heal the damage he’s suffered. If it can be healed at all. “Whatever you want, whatever you need, I’m here for you, Connor.”
“I need to fuck you, Lex.”
I’m shocked by his request. It comes from left field. I’m no grief counselor, but something tells me this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with grief.
“Please,” he whispers.
“What, here?” I look around the upscale neighborhood. Lights are on in the houses, cars are parked all up and down both sides of the street beneath the orange glow of the street lamps. Some shirtless guy with shaggy hair bouncing out of his headband runs by with a big dog on a leash. At least it’s not little kids this time.
“Yeah.” His voice is hoarse.
I consider suggesting we drive back to his place or mine, but this moment seems as fragile as Connor. I don’t want to break him or it or us and risk never seeing him again. “Okay. Should we, uh, use my car?”
He nods.
For a second, I hesitate. I’m afraid Connor is using me by making this request, but maybe he isn’t. My own powerful emotions coarse through my chest. Something incredible is happening between us and I know it. It’s unexplainable, beyond words or any rational sense, but I
feel
the rightness of it.
We climb in the back seat. I roll up the windows and close the doors. The second I do, the outside world disappears.
We fight and fumble and kiss passionately in the back of the shadowy car, him heavy on top of me, me beneath him on the bench seat, my red sundress already above my waist. I’m still wet from the restaurant. I pull my arms out of my short sleeves and push the thin dress down into a red ribbon around my waist. He peels his shirt off and lays against me, his stomach still sticky with cum. I barely notice.
My cowboy boots are hooked around his ass as I undo his belt and pull him out.
He’s rock hard.
I’m soaking wet.
“Fuck.” He grunts. “I don’t have any condoms. I forgot to put more in my wallet after last night.”
“I’m on the pill,” I gasp, breathless from kissing.
“Since when?”
“Since weeks ago. We’re safe.”
He stops. “Did you start the pill for me, Lex?”
“I guess so. The question is, are
you
safe?” I wince, afraid I’m ruining this moment for him and me and us.
“My uncle told me a million times to wear a rubber so I wouldn’t get anybody pregnant. I guess I listened. I’ve never had sex without a condom. And I get tested every six months. Just in case.”
I sigh softly and smile at him in the faint light, pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes.
He removes my glasses with infinite care and sets them on the center console between the front seats.
He lowers his lips to mine and we kiss softly.
He sinks into me, hot and hard.
I am ready for him, wet and aching.
The sex is slow, quiet, and intense. Every cell in my body tingles with feeling for this man. It is the best sex I’ve ever had, and I haven’t even had an orgasm yet. We say nothing, never breaking our kiss, but our bodies say everything. I have multiple orgasms, each one building off the last. During orgasm number six, it’s so damn delicious I close my eyes and see stars. My core clenches so hard, I think I’m going to tear his cock off. But he drives into me incessantly, throbbing inside me with every thrust, building toward his own intense orgasm. I feel him start to come, his cock growing impossibly large at the last moment before his own release.
As he falls into me, he breaks our kiss and buries his face between the seat cushion and my ear. His voice is raspy, tight, and afraid. “
Don’t leave me, Lex.
” He’s crying as he orgasms, emptying himself inside me. “
Don’t fuckin leave me. Please
…”