Emariya tried to imagine what it would be like to live somewhere other than here. All her life she had known these rolling hills and the familiar fields that turned brown in autumn. She loved how sometimes, when the wind would blow, it sounded almost like the blades of grass were whispering. She even loved the winter snows, when the whole world was bathed in white, before being born again in the spring, fresh and pure. And what if she left, and then Father returned? She couldn't bear the thought.
“
You miss him, don't you?” Garith's question brought her out of her reverie. “You get a faraway look in your eyes when you think of him,” he added.
Emariya nodded, afraid if she tried to speak, the lump in her throat would burst and the tears would come. It was one thing to cry in her chamber with Jessa, but quite another to cry out in the open in front of Garith.
“
I've heard Thalmas is almost all rocks and mountains. I know the iron my father uses to make horseshoes comes from there.” Garith sat down near the little garden, resting his elbows on his knees.
Taking his lead, Emariya smoothed her skirts and sat beside him. No place could be more peaceful than this. The sun was making its descent. Soon, it would recede beneath the estate walls and the world would be painted in the purple hues of dusk.
“
It must be horribly depressing to live in a place where things don't turn green in the spring. Can you imagine never seeing anything except shades of black and white and gray?” Emariya asked.
“
The Borderlands run into Thalmas, as well, so they have some green,” Garith said optimistically. It was just like him to try to cheer her up even though he obviously didn't want her to go.
“
I think Castle Ahlen is far from the Borderlands, nearly to the opposite coast.” As in, as far from her home as one could get. It would be at best a several-week ride between Warren's Rest and Castle Ahlen.
“
Riya, please. You have to tell Reeve no.” He was openly begging now. She knew how he felt. She didn't like the idea, either, but she had been raised knowing that she held a duty that was bigger than just what she did or didn't want.
“
But what of our people?” she asked. “What if I could stop their suffering? Yes, we have food aplenty, but my brother says we are vulnerable. According to Reeve, the fjord has been taken, and it's only a matter of time before Sheas advances, perhaps even to here. They could take Warren's Rest. Like it or not, if I can spare our people that, if I can save them, then there isn't much of a choice to make.” The people of Eltar were not experienced fighters. They had been too far removed from the worst of the fighting for too long. While for years Sheas had mounted small brutal attacks on Eltar, the worst of their attacks had been aimed at Thalmas. Sheas needed more of the steel from Thalmas to improve its arsenal of weapons. Emariya shuddered to think what would happen if they got it.
“
Then fight for them,” Garith said.
She glanced in the direction of the little square of shops and homes just out of sight beyond the wall. What would happen to them if Sheas came to take The Rest? “Right, let me don my armor; I shall ride my trusty steed to battle the forces of Sheas upon the fjord, where I shall stake out victory for our people. Perhaps they will be so surprised when I ride upon the field that they shall simply drop their arms. Oh, but yes, we have not even the steel for armor! How is it, exactly, you expect me to fight?” She shrugged as she spread her hands wide in front of her.
“
I don't mean in battle!” Garith groaned. “But you could convince your brother to renegotiate. Couldn't we trade for weapons from Thalmas without the condition of your hand? And instead of waiting for Sheas to move on us, we could make the first move. Why wait for them to finish assembling their forces at the fjord? We could begin to drive them back instead of merely holding them off. Emariya, there is more than one way to fight. The Councilors would listen to you. You can be very…persuasive.”
She resisted the urge to laugh. It had never taken much to persuade Garith to go along with almost anything she wanted.
“
If you asked that they each send reinforcements, including from the outlying estates instead of just those of us close to the fjord, we would have a much better chance. The harvests are done; they could spare the men,” Garith explained further.
“
But how many of them wouldn't come home?”
***
The next morning, Emariya sat alone at the table in the dining hall. The seat to her left was empty. Normally her brother dined with her, but she had seen him pass by the doorway a few moments ago, talking quietly to a man she didn't know. She didn't dwell on it for long; Reeve often had business that didn't warrant her presence. He was especially busy with the Council in attendance. She imagined the men would take their morning meal in the great hall.
Unlike the great hall, with its ancient tapestries depicting each of the estates of Eltar, the smaller, more intimate family dining hall was adorned with portraits of her ancestors. On the prominent north wall hung the oldest portrait. It was of her great-grandfather, Caleb Warren. She often imagined that his rich, emerald-green eyes were staring knowingly at her. Those same green eyes also peered out at her from her grandfather, Beltan, whose commanding portrait dominated the south wall. Next to him, inhabiting a portrait of her own, her grandmother Irina looked content pictured in a garden of tulips. Surrounded by these, as well as the other portraits that shared their walls, Emariya never felt alone. Generations of Warrens had walked these halls. Suddenly, a disturbing thought struck her. Had her mother felt like a stranger here?
Mairi had come to clear her place. Most of the families near Warren’s Rest could not afford to provide keep for servants. Each year during the planting season, those that lived close enough to the walls of the estate worked together to plant and harvest the large fields bordering the walls. This held true at the estates of all the Council-born families. Because travel between the estates could take many days, each estate had to be self-sufficient. Widows were all too common in Eltar. Most women left on their own would take a spot in a household of wealth, such as the Warrens’. In return they were given not only protection, but room and keep for themselves and their children. Once they came of age, those children would often take up positions in the house, as well. As the wealthiest family in Eltar, the Warren estate employed several servants, including Mairi and her daughter, Jessa.
Emariya's untouched meal still sat before her. Mairi tsked and patted Emariya on the head, as she had since Emariya was an infant. “It will be all right, child. You mustn’t worry so.”
“
Mairi, was my mother happy here?” Emariya asked, suddenly apprehensive of the answer. “I always assumed she would have been, but the people here at Warren's Rest—they weren't really her people, were they?”
Mairi pulled out the wooden chair beside Emariya and settled her plump frame into it. Emariya allowed Mairi to take her hand in hers, feeling the familiar wrinkles on the older woman's work hardened fingers as Mairi spoke. “I guess none of us know for sure, my dear, but what I can tell you with certainty is that we were mighty happy she was here. I only can hope she knew that, and that in turn it would have made her happy. Granted, not everyone accepted her. She looked so different. She even sometimes spoke a bit different. We never were accustomed to outsiders. We of Eltar, we are of the soil. We live from the bounty of the land, and we are thankful for what the land offers us. Your mother, she was of the wind and the sea. For most of us, she was like a breath of fresh air. But for a few, she was not. People fear what they don't understand.”
Emariya didn't need to try very hard to understand that. She was different from those at the estate, as well. It wasn't just because she was Council-born, either. Her hair, her eyes—they were all different, even from the other Warrens. Only her brother shared much resemblance to her. But unlike her mother, she had always been treated as a rare and special treasure, not as an outsider.
“
Why have we never talked of her?” she asked. Her voice was barely audible, just above a whisper.
“
Oh dear, I don't know. I think sometimes remembering can make us sad. The ghosts of that horrid day haunt us all. But those we love deserve to be remembered. Maybe we should have talked of her more.”
“
I think Reeve remembers the day she died.” Emariya bit her lip, trying to keep control of the emotions bubbling just below the surface. Whenever she tried to remember her mother, all she found was a hollow hole deep in her chest, as if something were missing right next to her heart.
“
Let us hope not. No one should have to remember that.”
Emariya sat quietly mulling over what the woman had said as Mairi stood and began to busy herself with the clearing of the dishes. They clattered noisily as she stacked them one by one. She frowned again as she lifted Emariya's full plate. Mairi was just about to leave the room when she turned back to Emariya. “Milady, I know without fail that your mother would be so proud of the young woman you have become. She thought the world of you and your brother. When she saw those men coming, she knew where her fate lay. I couldn't protect her. The only gift I could give her was to do as she bid, and keep safe the two things she valued most. But a day may come soon when I am not enough to keep you safe any longer.”
“
Safe from what?” Emariya asked as anxiety bubbled in her empty stomach. Mairi was usually a woman of few words; for her to speak so openly, she must have felt that what she had to say was highly important.
“
You are like her. You have always been, but I think perhaps you are more like her than I realized until just now. She gave up her family, her home, to plead for peace. She was lucky she found someone willing to listen, someone who shared her hopes, in your father. Lord Oren is a good man, but not all men are like him. I trust it isn't lost on you that your mother made just such a journey as you are now considering. You have her eyes and you have her hair, as anyone can see. But more than that, you have her courage, and her heart. Your parents, they chose their own path. The time has come for you to choose yours. Don't lose sight of what her path cost her. She tried to save her people, and not only did she fail, but she lost herself. Milady, some bargains, they just are not worth the price.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Shackled
“
Enter,” came the commanding voice from inside the small study. Emariya tried to swallow back the nerves constricting in her throat. Feigning confidence, she walked in.
Reeve was perched behind their father's enormous wooden desk. He wore his blond hair pulled back, with one leather cord securing the topmost pieces on top of his head. A second leather string was tied around the majority of his straw-colored hair at the base of his neck. It gave him the appearance of one tightly controlled, but capable of coming unhinged at the slightest provocation.
He looked up and smiled. What little courage she had summoned nearly left her. Sitting back in his chair, he regarded her calmly. Emariya suspected he was looking for any sign of what she might have decided.
She saw no good reason to drag it out. Best to get it over with. “I can't marry him,” Emariya said simply with her eyes cast downward, avoiding his steady gaze.
She heard the strain as he struggled to keep his voice even. “Why?”
Emariya didn't meet his eyes. Instead, she focused on the lavish red velvet drapes lining the window. They flowed all the way down to the heavy brocade rug. She remembered playing on that rug as a child, when this had still been her father's study.
It's still Father's study
, she corrected herself. An unexpected wave of resentment surged. Her brother had stepped so fully into their father’s shoes.
Reeve was only acting as Lord Warren until their father returned. She never intended to give up hope. As such, he could ask anything he wished of her, but he couldn't command her. He could try all he liked, but he couldn't change her mind. While she often had trouble making a decision, once a decision was made, she would see it through and not be deterred from her course. And yet, she dreaded seeing the disappointment he would be wearing openly on his face. Reluctantly, she met his gaze.
She decided to try and keep it simple. “I don't love him.”
“
You don't know him,” her brother said.
“
Well, true. That, too. I don't love or know him.” She couldn't help the tiny teasing smile lingering at the corner of her lips.
“
Once you get to know him, you can come to love him,” Reeve said, sounding unamused.
She could see her brother had no intentions of letting this go easily. “And if I don't? What if he is cruel and horrid?”
“
Then he is cruel and horrid. You will have an entire castle in which you can avoid him and rarely see him, if you don't like him. You can live content, knowing you did your duty to help end the suffering of your people.” Obviously they were getting to the heart of it now, and the niceties had been abandoned. She loved her brother dearly, but right now she felt like she was talking with Councilor Reeve, not her beloved brother Reeve. She couldn't push aside the hurt simmering just below the surface.