I remember Grace telling me on the one-year anniversary of Ben’s death when she brought me home from the cemetery, “Dahlia honey, there is something beautiful about each and every scar we bear no matter where it comes from.” Pausing, she wiped the tears streaming down her face before finishing what to this day, has to be the single most important piece of advice ever given to me. “When my son’s death, our Ben’s death, has healed in your heart, you will know it. A scar will appear and that means the extreme hurt and unbearable pain is over, your wound will be healed, but don’t ever let your heart close. Leave it open, let someone else in.” She couldn’t speak anymore, but I knew she wasn’t finished. She put a note on the counter when she left that night that read, “Let your heart heal and someday you will love again. Let someone else love you. You deserve it. Remember, I will always be here for you.”
So tonight, as I embark on a first date with this very sexy, charming, and charismatic man, Grace’s words come back to me. I know what I’m feeling now.
Healed.
Walking into Aqua, I know I’m in trouble. It’s dark, and the music is blaring in an almost seductive beat. I’m already intoxicated by River’s pure charm and breathtaking attractiveness, and this nightclub isn’t going to help sober me up at all. Also, adding to my almost inebriated state of mind are the two drinks I had with dinner and the few I had before that.
Earlier in the day, we had taken his car back to the hotel and hit the casino floor. He taught me how to play craps, and we also played blackjack and poker. I played the slot machines as he watched. Rolling his eyes at me he told me, “Only sixty year old women waste their time on a game of pure chance.” And in what I’ve come to know as true River fashion, he added, “Now, skilled games, those are something to spend your time on.” Of course, he whispered that in my ear while running his finger down the side of my body. We were having so much fun that we never even made it back to our room. After we left the casino, we walked through the sky tube and then ate a light dinner before coming up to the club.
The nightclub is located on the fifty-fifth floor of the Trees Place Casino. All of its exterior walls are glass, and there is a huge bar toward the back and an even bigger dance floor in the middle. There also looks to be outdoor bars to both the right and left, just outside the glass walls. Each is a mirror image supported by a brick wall on the backside of each bar, creating a terrace-like appeal with trees and benches everywhere. The bar to the right is serving drinks; its mirror twin appears to be closed.
With Rihanna’s song S&M playing loudly as we enter the large double doors of the VIP entrance, we hand our jackets to the coat check, and River turns to me and says, “Stay close, it’s a wreck in here tonight.”
Does he think I want to be anywhere but close to him?
Because I don’t.
In fact, with all the sexual energy radiating between us, I’m more than willing to forego the clubbing and head straight back to our hotel room. But, since that doesn’t seem to be an option right now, I just nod my head and bite my lip. He looks so delicious and I’m hoping I get a taste of him real soon.
Clutching his hand with both of mine, I follow close behind and bump into him as often as I can, rubbing my front to his back. Making our way to the bar, he orders two lemon drop shots. I just smirk and shake my head.
Cocking his head, he hands me the shot. While grinning widely, he declares, “I know up until now you’ve only done shots to celebrate disasters, but here’s to changing that.”
As he clinks his glass to mine, I recall my earlier thoughts about my feelings for him and know for sure I have most definitely already fallen. He remembers everything I tell him, even the most inconsequential things. As I tip my head back to drink the sweet alcohol that smells of lemons, I think of Ben. I think of how many times I had to tell him something before he remembered it. I had chalked it up to typical male behavior, and maybe it was.
Is River is the exception to the rule?
We order another drink, and he leads me to a high-top table in the reserved section just on the edge of the dance floor. We continue to talk about everything, but nothing at all. It is liberating and invigorating to be here with him laughing, drinking, and just having fun.
With the humidity reaching record highs, the ceiling above us opens just as the Enrique Iglesias song, Dirty Dancer, starts thumping out a seductive beat. We both look up in awe of the spectacular sight. As our heads return to eye level, our gazes meet. Bopping my neck and shaking my hips, I full out laugh when I hear something about a girl doing it one way and then another throughout the now open area.
River smiles his full mega-watt dimple smile before running his eyes up and down my body, giving me instant goosebumps. Glancing down at his feet and then at mine, he grins mischievously as he points to the dance floor and breathes in my ear, “You sure you want to do this? I’m pretty good.”
Checking out the scene on the dance floor, I see a bunch of drunken college boys making obscene gestures with their hands, a group of girls dancing like they have no idea what song is playing, and many couples actually dirty dancing. Having assessed my surroundings, I run my hands down my sides and grinning ear to ear I mouth to him, “You’re on.” I hear a sharp intake of breath from him before he grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor.
I feel our connection growing stronger minute by minute. What was once an electric pull is now an electric force. I can’t wait to unleash the magnitude and velocity behind its force on the dance floor, on his body. The law of relativity most certainly applies tonight.
We are in the middle of a swarm of people, but I feel like it’s just the two of us out here. Having removed my t-shirt long ago, I’m standing on the dance floor in my black lace camisole. With the lights blinking on and off, I know everyone must be able to see my girly white bra. River doesn’t seem to mind though as his eyes flicker to my lips, my chest, down to my jeans, and back up. He grins at me as I lift my hair off my neck to help cool my extremely over-heated body.
Grabbing my hips, he pulls me closer. I snake my arms around his neck as Enrique continues to describe dirty dancing. As we start moving our bodies to the rhythm of the now seemingly very erotic song, I run my fingers through his beautiful shaggy hair. We move like we have known each other for years; like we’re two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly.
At first, our moves are innocent. A soft touch here, a light caress there, but the innocence passes just like the song. When Havana Brown’s You’ll Be Mine starts to play, it’s game on. I no longer just lightly run my fingers through his hair, rather I tug on it. I no longer just run my hands down his back, instead I wet my finger in my mouth and softly glide it down the back of his neck, and he shivers beneath my touch.
He’s playing too. His hands are no longer resting on my hips, they have drifted down to my backside and he’s cupping it. He’s no longer just leaning into me; he’s now whispering dirty things in my ear.
The song thumps on, and we get so completely lost in ourselves that we’re oblivious to everyone else on the dance floor. As I turn around so that I’m no longer facing him, this is never so apparent than in this moment. With my back now to his front, the sexual energy radiating between us turns electrifying. My want and my need for him overcome me as he places his right hand on my hip. My body quivers in response as he slowly slides his hand up my stomach. His nose is in my hair and his hand glides across the front of my camisole in a crossing motion. He’s breathing heavily on my neck, and I know I’m not the only one affected by our electric current. As he continues to softly move up my body, I absorb every touch. When he stops and gently pokes his fingers through the holes of the lace in my shirt, touching my bare skin, I throw my head back into his neck. He’s caressing my skin; searing it with his touch, and I love every minute of it.
As his hand continues to travel up my body, he carefully, almost strategically takes his other hand and swipes my hair off my shoulder to expose the side of my neck. He trails soft kisses down it. As he reaches my shoulder, his kisses fade away. His mouth reappears at my neck, and he seductively drags his tongue back up to my ear. When he reaches my lobe, he jets his tongue in and out, sending shivers down my spine. My body is now a trembling mass of sensation. It’s only heightening my awareness of him and quickly increasing my need to have him.
I smile as Havana Brown’s song bleeds into another Enrique song. I no longer hear the lyrics in each verse, but I do hear the words as he sings about fucking someone tonight. The colored lights of the disco ball and strobe lights continue to flicker, and we begin to do more than just dance. He’s seducing me, or I’m seducing him; I have no idea which and I don’t care. The only thing that matters, the only difference, is I have an urgent need that can’t wait to be addressed.
I close my eyes as his hand passes over my ribs and settles on my breast, and his fingers rub circles around my erect nipple. His hand is now clenching and unclenching my hip as he continues his tongue’s assault on my ear and my neck. Experiencing sensual overload with his body wrapped around mine, with his mouth on me, with his scent so intoxicatingly close, and his smooth jawline rubbing against my tender skin, a sudden carnal need erupts. One that must be satisfied sooner rather than later.
When I grind myself into him, I can feel his hardness, and this makes me very aware that he feels the same way I do. I smile. I can hear his erratic breathing and he groans as he grabs both my hips, holding me tight to him. His breathing grows more irregular as his hands drift down the front of my jeans. When my hands make their way around to his core, I slide them into his back pockets and push him further into me. He quickly turns me back around.
Hah . . . I got him.
Facing each other, our eyes flicker and our breaths are ragged, extremely intense. When he licks his lower lip in a way that screams out how sexy he is, I bite mine. I skim my way down his body. I’m amazed my dancing abilities haven’t rusted over the past few years, and I’m shocked that I’m dancing far more seductively than I ever have before, ever.
I shimmy my way up his leg and run my hands up the inside of his thighs. As I’m reaching his core, I brush my fingers over his flawless chest and well-defined abs, and they tense under his tight t-shirt. When I start to untuck his shirt, he grabs my hands and pulls them around his neck, hoarsely whispering in my ear, “Do you want a drink?”
My breathing is past controllable as the sweat beads on the back of my neck drip down my shoulder blades. “No, I don’t want a drink. I want you,” I breathe out in erratic whispers, my desire more than apparent.
River pauses for a moment, as if assessing the situation. He then leans in and touches his nose to mine before gliding it to my ear and whispering, “You want to head back to the hotel?” I know he knows that’s not what I mean.
I shake my head and pout my lips. I’ve decided it’s my turn to drive him crazy; he’s not getting out of this that easy. I get up on my toes so that I’m eye level with him, and I kiss him; really kiss him, in a way that communicates non-verbally what I want. I only stop to suck on his bottom lip before running my nose to his ear. “I can’t wait that long. I want you now. I need you now.” I know what I just said, and if the words that just purred out of my mouth didn’t shock him, they sure as shit shocked me. In fact, I think the only time I’ve ever had sex in a public place was my first time with Ben, but I push that thought aside. I’m feeling parched, dehydrated, and River is the only drink that can quench my thirst. I need a sip right now, right here, but somewhere just a little more private.
Grabbing my chin, he roughly pulls me to his lips and growls, “You’re just so beautiful. You know I can’t say no.” Letting go of my face, he trails his fingertips down my arms, only stimulating my senses even more. Staring intently at me, his eyes are now the color of a perfectly glistening bottle of Cristal; he looks ready to let the liquid flow freely. As he scans my body he says, “You drive me wild, you know that?” Then he grabs my hand and leads me to the back of the club.
I drop his hand, opting instead to snake my arms around him and rub my body to his. The warmth is invigorating, and I need to feel any part of him right now. When we get to the back of the club, he opens the glass door and leads us to the closed outdoor bar.
The terrace is just as gorgeous as it looked from the front doors, but I don’t care about the view. The heat, the humidity, the loud music all fade as we hit the cool fresh-air of the night, and I’m finally alone with River. He stops and I walk right into him, giggling. As he turns around, I see the passionate look in his eyes, and I’m no longer giggling.
Cocking his head, his eyes search for reassurance. His lips slightly part as he snakes his arms around my waist. I hear a quick intake of breath and the electricity shooting through my body turns into high voltage. I press myself into his body, wrapping my arms around his neck, connecting my lips to his. With a thirst only his wet tongue, his soft lips, and his hard body can satisfy, I start to kiss him fiercely, wanting him to pour his exquisite champagne into my mouth.