Compromised Hearts (8 page)

Cloud sighed but did not lift his head from where it rested against her breasts. He did not particularly want to see the look on her face. The tension in her body told him he would not like it.

“Sorry, Em. I used you poorly and you don’t deserve that.”

“Why?” she asked softly, hoping there was a reason good enough to dispel her hurt.

“I’m not sure. I heard some news at the major’s and just knew I had to get back here. Then, when I saw your cute pink backside disappearing into this room, I knew what I needed, knew what was the sweetest, surest cure for the feelings gripping me so fierce.”

“What did the major tell you?”

“Have you heard me and James talking on why we left the fort?”

“Yes, that officer wanted to do something you had both warned him was foolish—something that was certain to get him and his men killed.” She held him a little tighter, suddenly understanding what troubled him so. “He did it, didn’t he?”

“He did.” Cloud spoke through clenched teeth as he fought his returning fury. “He rode out with his whole troop. Three got back, Em. Only three and one of them, worst
luck, was him. I wanted to ride right back there and kill him—kill him like he killed all those poor fools he ordered to their deaths. Maybe if James and I had stayed …”

“It would have mattered not a jot. You were not his commanding officer. You could only advise, not order. The fact that he would not listen to someone with experience and knowledge shows that he meant to do exactly what he wished to, no matter what was saia. You can be sure that every man with him wished he could have left as well, if he could have done so without being accused of desertion. They had no choice. You did, and they would have thought you a fool for acting otherwise.”

Lifting his head, he briefly kissed her, then smiled faintly. “That was what I was after—comfort. Good sense told me there was nothing I could have done besides getting killed myself, but you don’t think clear when you hear such news for the first time.” He sighed. “I just wish there was something I could do now to be sure that incompetent idiot doesn’t get any more chances to waste lives.”

“Isn’t there? I do not know all that much about the military but, when an officer errs, or appears to have erred, is there not an inquiry?” She had to smile at the arrested look that came over his face, for she had rarely surprised him like that; but then he surprised her by giving her a brief, hard kiss and leaping out of bed.

“I have to go talk to the major again,” he muttered as he yanked on his clothes.

Realizing what had caused him to act so abruptly, she relaxed. “Where are James and Thornton?”

“They went to get supplies. Best drag out your finest, sweetheart. We dine with the major tonight and there’s a small party.”

She had no time to ask for any details, for he hurried from the room, still buttoning his shirt. Sighing, she got to her feet and started to get dressed. She did not really want to accept the invitation, for it would undoubtedly mean another awkward confrontation with Pamela. Telling herself not to be a coward, she began to plan what she would wear, something that proved quite difficult despite her paucity or choices. She had to smile at herself when she realized that she was really struggling over the best way to outshine the beauteous Pamela.

Cloud sipped his whiskey and scowled at the dancers—at one couple in particular. The major was paying far too much attention to Emily. Worse, in Cloud’s mind, Emily seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it. Up until the man had first taken Emily off to dance, Cloud had liked Major John Leeds. Now he felt a keen urge to drag the man outside and beat him soundly.

When he felt someone touch his arm, he dragged his attention away from Emily and scowled at Pamela. She had become a real
nuisance, spending all evening pinching at Emily and flirting outrageously with him. The woman was oblivious, or seemed to be, to his clear lack of interest. He thought crossly that, if Emily stayed close at hand, Pamela would cease to be a problem, for he could make his refusal to play her games visual as well as verbal. Never before had he felt a need to use one woman as a shield against another, but the idea strongly appealed to him at the moment, for Pamela was pressing him hard, backing him into a corner.

Glancing toward Emily, who laughed gaily at something the major said, Cloud wondered why he was being so reticent. Before, whenever a woman had made it clear that she was willing, he had been willing as well. They offered; he took. It had been as simple as that. Emily was simply another in a long line of women, none of whom he had ever been remotely faithful to.

The problem, he thought angrily, was that he did not want to reach out and take what Pamela was hurling at him. He took a deeper drink of his whiskey and admitted that he wanted only Emily. It did nothing to improve his temper and his replies to Pamela’s attempts at conversation grew curt, almost vicious.

Major John Leeds smiled down at the slim woman in his arms. “I must say, Miss Emily, I was surprised to find a woman like you with Cloud. Pleasantly surprised, of course.”

“How kind. Mr. Ryder not only saved my life and Thornton’s, for I am certain we never would have lasted on our own, but he is escorting us to my brother. I believe he explained it?”

“Oh, Cloud helping out like that is no surprise.”

“It isn’t?”

“No. He’s well known for rescuing people in trouble. Put his own life in jeopardy more times than I can count. Even followed some Comancheros for hundreds of miles once to bring back some young girls they had stolen. You were lucky to have stumbled upon him, Miss Emily.”

“Yes, it would seem so,” Emily managed to reply in a strangled voice.

Several different emotions warred with each other inside her. She was glad the man she was so involved with was not as cold and callous as he pretended. But she was furious that he had played such a game with her. And she was hurt that he would use her so. Rage overwhelmed her for a moment and she thought of immediately confronting Cloud. Yet, to her confusion, she hesitated.

“I’m just sorry it wasn’t me who found you.”

The major’s voice pulled her free of her confused thoughts. The middle of a crowded dance floor was no place to make a decision on what she had learned. Firmly, she set the knowledge aside to be mulled over later. Neatly avoiding the major’s attempts to draw
her closer as they danced, she concentrated on enjoying the celebration.

Major Leeds really was a rogue, she thought with an inner smile. It had annoyed her at first, even frightened her a little, but her mood had swiftly improved. Part of that had come about as she realized that he was not after some woman he thought free with her favors, something Emily had feared he thought because of her place with Cloud. The man was simply an incorrigible flirt who thought he had new, fertile ground to explore yet did not get angry when she turned aside his ploys.

What truly lifted her spirits was that she was discovering something very important about herself. Nothing the major did produced any more than the pleasant feeling one could get from flattery and the attentions of a handsome man. Not the slightest hint of desire or wantonness flickered through her veins. The sense of relief she felt left her almost light-headed.

One thing that had continuously troubled her, if in varying degrees of intensity, was how swiftly she had succumbed to passion with Cloud. When he held her, she lost all reticence and her morals became nonexistent, only returning later to haunt and scold her for her weakness. She had begun to fear that she suffered from a weakness of the flesh, that she could be one of those women who were little better than whores. Her reactions, or, rather, the lack of them,
to the major proved that a groundless fear. Her weakness was simply Cloud Ryder. He was the only one who could so easily undermine all her principles.

Still giggling over an outrageous piece of flattery from the major, Emily let him escort her to the punch bowl. She was just accepting a drink from him when Cloud appeared at their side, a grinning James with him. Her smile of welcome faltered slightly when she noticed how stern Cloud was looking; then it faded completely when Pamela appeared at Cloud’s side, slipping her arm possessively through his.

Sternly, Emily told herself not to give in to the jealousy surging through her. Pamela, however, was proving to be a far greater trial than any of the other women. For one thing, Cloud did not seem to be brushing the woman aside. Emily felt a flicker of fear but fought to subdue it. So far Cloud had not turned to any of the other women that had been so obviously willing. She would trust him to continue to stay by her unless he blatantly moved to do otherwise.

“Emily,” James said cheerfully as he stepped closer to her, “I haven’t had the pleasure of dancing with you yet.”

“And a great pleasure it is, too,” the major said quietly and kissed Emily’s hand.

“You are too kind, Major. Well—” Emily quickly finished off her drink, set her glass down and hooked her arm through James’s—"shall we see to correcting that lapse?”

“Best we had.” “Emily.”

She looked at Cloud, who was still looking stern. This puzzled her. “Something wrong?”

“That punch was doctored. It might be wise if you go easy on it.” He could tell by the brightness of her eyes and the slight flush on her cheeks that she had already had more than enough.

“Doctored? Oh. You mean someone had added spirits to it. That explains why it tastes so sparkling. Come along, James.” She towed a chuckling James out onto the dance area.

“A delightful young woman, Cloud.”

“I noticed you thought so, John.”

“A true lady.”

Cloud frowned as he heard censure in the major’s tone. “Spit it out, John. We’ve never minced words before.” He noticed the major glance towards Pamela, whose presence he had forgotten, and he scowled at her, roughly freeing his arm from her grasp. “Don’t you have some place to go?” He almost sighed with relief when, clearly deciding she had had enough, she flounced away. “You were saying, John?”

John sighed and shook his head. “When there’s so many willing, easy ones about, why are you after Emily?”

“I’m not after Emily. I have her.”

“Cloud, we aren’t speaking about a woman like Pamela here.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“You seem determined to work yourself
up into a temper. You won’t goad me into stepping outside. I have no intention of coming to fisticuffs with you over this, but I mean to have my say. I don’t like the game you’re playing this time. She’s a sweet, well brought-up girl and you could ruin her. She doesn’t deserve that.” “No, she doesn’t.”

The major frowned. “Now I think you are playing games with me.”

“Not at all. What’s between Em and me is just that—between Em and me.”

“I find it difficult to step back and let you turn that girl into a whore.”

“John, nothing I could ever do to Em would make her become one of those. Leave it be, John. And leave her be, too,” he added coldly. “Em’s mine.” He realized that he meant that wholeheartedly and wondered if he looked as surprised as John did. “I’ve got no intention of ruining her.”

“No? You’re making her name a scandal at every post and stop between where you started and the valley. That could easily catch up with her.”

“Then I’ll be there to divert it.”

“You mean to stay with her?”

“I believe I do.” He frowned when James returned to their side without Emily. “Where’s Em?”

“Stepped outside for a moment. She said she was feeling warm. I think the punch has gone to her head.” James saw Pamela go out the same way Emily had and scowled. “Now,
what’s she up to?”

“Nothing good,” Cloud grumbled and set off hoping to stop a confrontation that could cause him a great deal of trouble.

Emily sighed with pleasure as she sat down on a rough bench and a cool breeze eased the heat in her face. She was feeling both warm and lightheaded. It occurred to her that the ‘doctored’ punch she had had so much of could be the cause of that. She hoped some fresh air would instill her with a more sober attitude. The last thing she wished to do was to become drunk and foolish, an embarrassment to both Cloud and herself. Liquor, she reflected, was a troublesome thing.

And here comes another troublesome thing, she thought crossly as she spotted Pamela approaching her. Even the thought that Pamela was at least not still clinging to Cloud did not ease the annoyance Emily felt. The expression on Pamela’s face told Emily that the woman wanted some sort of confrontation, most likely an unpleasant one. Emily decided that she was more than a little tired of facing Cloud’s seemingly endless collection of discarded lovers. This time, she decided, she was not even going to try to be polite.

“I believe you can guess what I wish to speak to you about.” Pamela crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at Emily.

“You look just like my old schoolteacher.”

“What?”

“When you stare down your nose like that, you look just like Miss Teasdale.”

“Stop talking nonsense. I’ve come to talk about Cloud.”

“Ah, what a surprise. Know him well, do you?”

“Of course I do and I must say, it surprises me that he would take up with such a prim miss from the east. You can’t possibly give him what he needs.” She smiled with sweet remembrance. “He’s all man.”

“Every inch of him.” A double entendre, Emily thought with surprise. I have just uttered my first double entendre. She wondered if she was learning a little too much from Cloud. “I believe you’re trying to tell me that you’ve known Mr. Ryder very well indeed.”

“Very well indeed. I have been his lover for years. No woman could know him as well as I do.”

“Oh, I think I may have collected an idea or two. I think you’d best turn your interests elsewhere. Cloud seems very slow to come to the sticking point and you aren’t getting any younger.”

Pamela glared at her. “No woman in her right mind would give up a man like Cloud Ryder. So strong, so well-formed.”

“Oh, quite. I particularly like his right leg.”

“What?”

Cloud stopped just short of the two women, feeling as surprised as Pamela
sounded. Then he started to smile. Emily was feeling the effects of the punch. Recalling how she was after a few drinks of beer he wondered, with an inner laugh, if it might be a kindness to warn Pamela.