Complete Works of Wilkie Collins (808 page)

“Eight pounds of soap? Where does it all go to I wonder!” groaned Mrs. Finch to the accompaniment of the baby’s screams. “Five pounds of soda for the laundry? One would think we did the washing for the whole village. Six pounds of candles? You must eat candles, like the Russians: who ever heard of burning six pounds of candles in a week? Ten pounds of sugar? Who gets it all? I never taste sugar from one year’s end to another. Waste, nothing but waste.” Here Mrs. Finch looked my way, and saw me at the door. “Oh? Madame Pratolungo? How d’ye do? Don’t go away — I’ve just done. A bottle of blacking? My shoes are a disgrace to the house. Five pounds of rice? If I had Indian servants, five pounds of rice would last them for a year. There! take the things away into the kitchen. Excuse my dress, Madame Pratolungo. How
am
I to dress, with all I have got to do? What do you say? My time must indeed be fully occupied? Ah, that’s just where it is! When you have lost half an hour in the morning, and can’t pick it up again — to say nothing of having the store-room on your mind, and the children’s dinner late, and the baby fractious — one slips on a petticoat and a shawl, and gives it up in despair. What
can
I have done with my handkerchief? Would you mind looking among those bottles behind you? Oh, here it is, under the baby. Might I trouble you to hold my book for one moment? I think the baby will be quieter if I put him the other way.” Here Mrs. Finch turned the baby over on his stomach, and patted him briskly on the back. At this change in his circumstances, the unappeasable infant only roared louder than ever. His mother appeared to be perfectly unaffected by the noise. This resigned domestic martyr looked placidly up at me, as I stood before her, bewildered, with the novel in my hand. “Ah, that’s a very interesting story,” she went on. “Plenty of love in it, you know. You have come for it, haven’t you? I remember I promised to lend it to you yesterday.” Before I could answer the cook appeared again, in search of more household commodities. Mrs. Finch repeated the woman’s demands, one by one as she made them, in tones of despair. “Another bottle of vinegar? I believe you water the garden with vinegar! More starch? The Queen’s washing, I’m firmly persuaded, doesn’t come to so much as ours. Sandpaper? Sandpaper means wastepaper in this profligate house. I shall tell your master. I really
can
NOT make the housekeeping money last at this rate. Don’t go, Madame Pratolungo! I shall have done directly. What! You must go! Oh, then, put the book back on my lap, please — and look behind that sack of flour. The first volume slipped down there this morning, and I haven’t had time to pick it up since. (Sandpaper! Do you think I’m made of sandpaper!) Have you found the first volume? Ah, that’s it. All over flour! there’s a hole in the sack I suppose. Twelve sheets of sandpaper used in a week! What for? I defy any of you to tell me what for. Waste! waste! shameful sinful waste!” At this point in Mrs. Finch’s lamentations, I made my escape with the book, and left the subject of Oscar Dubourg to be introduced at a fitter opportunity. The last words I heard, through the screams of the baby, as I ascended the stairs, were words still relating to the week’s prodigal consumption of sandpaper. Let us drop a tear, if you please, over the woes of Mrs. Finch, and leave the British matron apostrophizing domestic economy in the odorous seclusion of her own storeroom.

I had just related to Lucilla the failure of my expedition to the other side of the house, when the groom returned, bringing with him the gold vase, and a letter.

Oscar’s answer was judiciously modeled to imitate the brevity of Lucilla’s note. “You have made me a happy man again. When may I follow the vase?” There, in two sentences, was the whole letter.

I had another discussion with Lucilla, relating to the propriety of our receiving Oscar in Reverend Finch’s absence. It was only possible to persuade her to wait until she had at least heard from her father, by consenting to take another walk towards Browndown the next morning. This new concession satisfied her. She had received his present; she had exchanged letters with him — that was enough to content her for the time.

“Do you think he is getting fond of me?” she asked, the last thing at night; taking her gold vase to bed with her, poor dear — exactly as she might have taken a new toy to bed with her when she was a child. “Give him time, my love,” I answered. “It isn’t everybody who can travel at your pace in such a serious matter as this.” My banter had no effect upon her. “Go away with your candle,” she said. “The darkness makes no difference to
me.
I can see him in my thoughts.” She nestled her head comfortably on the pillows, and tapped me saucily on the cheek, as I bent over her. “Own the advantage I have over you now,” she said. “
You
can’t see at night without your candle.
I
could go all over the house, at this moment, without making a false step anywhere.”

When I left her that night, I sincerely believe “poor Miss Finch” was the happiest woman in England.

CHAPTER THE TWELFTH

Mr. Finch smells Money

A DOMESTIC alarm deferred for some hours our proposed walk to Browndown.

The old nurse, Zillah, was taken ill in the night. She was so little relieved by such remedies as we were able to apply, that it became necessary to summon the doctor in the morning. He lived at some distance from Dimchurch; and he had to send back to his own house for the medicines required. As a necessary result of these delays, it was close on one o’clock in the afternoon before the medical remedies had their effect, and the nurse was sufficiently recovered to permit of our leaving her in the servant’s care.

We had dressed for our walk (Lucilla being ready long before I was), and had got as far as the garden gate on our way to Browndown — when we heard, on the other side of the wall, a man’s voice, pitched in superbly deep bass tones, pronouncing these words:

“Believe me, my dear sir, there is not the least difficulty. I have only to send the cheque to my bankers at Brighton.”

Lucilla started, and caught hold of me by the arm.

“My father!” she exclaimed in the utmost astonishment. “Who is he talking to?”

The key of the gate was in my possession. “What a grand voice your father has got!” I said, as I took the key out of my pocket. I opened the gate. There, confronting us on the threshold, arm in arm, as if they had known each other from childhood, stood Lucilla’s father, and — Oscar Dubourg!

Reverend Finch opened the proceedings by folding his daughter affectionately in his arms.

“My dear child!” he said, “I received your letter — your most interesting letter — this morning. The moment I read it I felt that I owed a duty to Mr. Dubourg. As pastor of Dimchurch, it was clearly incumbent on me to comfort a brother in affliction. I really felt, so to speak, a longing to hold out the right hand of friendship to this sorely-tried man. I borrowed my friend’s carriage, and drove straight to Browndown. We have had a long and cordial talk. I have brought Mr. Dubourg home with me. He must be one of us. My dear child, Mr. Dubourg must be one of us. Let me introduce you. My eldest daughter — Mr. Dubourg.”

He performed the ceremony of presentation, with the most impenetrable gravity, as if he really believed that Oscar and his daughter now met each other for the first time!

Never had I set my eyes on a meaner-looking man than this rector. In height he barely reached up to my shoulder. In substance, he was so miserably lean that he looked the living picture of starvation. He would have made his fortune in the streets of London, if he had only gone out and shown himself to the public in ragged clothes. His face was deeply pitted with the small-pox. His short grisly hair stood up stiff and straight on his head like hair fixed in a broom. His small whitish-grey eyes had a restless, inquisitive, hungry look in them, indescribably irritating and uncomfortable to see. The one personal distinction he possessed consisted in his magnificent bass voice — a voice which had no sort of right to exist in the person who used it. Until one became accustomed to the contrast, there was something perfectly unbearable in hearing those superb big tones come out of that contemptible little body. The famous Latin phrase conveys, after all, the best description I can give of Reverend Finch. He was in very truth — Voice, and nothing else.

“Madame Pratolungo, no doubt?” he went on, turning to me. “Delighted to make the acquaintance of my daughter’s judicious companion and friend. You must be one of us — like Mr. Dubourg. Let me introduce you. Madame Pratolungo — Mr. Dubourg. This is the old side of the rectory, my dear sir. We had it put in repair — let me see: how long since? — we had it put in repair just after Mrs. Finch’s last confinement but one.” (I soon discovered that Mr. Finch reckoned time by his wife’s confinements.) “You will find it very curious and interesting inside. Lucilla, my child! (It has pleased Providence, Mr. Dubourg, to afflict my daughter with blindness. Inscrutable Providence!) Lucilla, this is your side of the house. Take Mr. Dubourg’s arm, and lead the way. Do the honours, my child. Madame Pratolungo, let me offer you my arm. I regret that I was not present, when you arrived, to welcome you at the rectory. Consider yourself — do pray consider yourself — one of us.” He stopped, and lowered his prodigious voice to a confidential growl. “Delightful person, Mr. Dubourg. I can’t tell you how pleased I am with him. And what a sad story! Cultivate Mr. Dubourg, my dear madam. As a favor to Me — cultivate Mr. Dubourg!”

He said this with an appearance of the deepest anxiety — and more, he emphasized it by affectionately squeezing my hand.

I have met with a great many audacious people in my time. But the audacity of Reverend Finch — persisting to our faces in the assumption that he had been the first to discover our neighbour, and that Lucilla and I were perfectly incapable of understanding and appreciating Oscar, unassisted by him — was entirely without a parallel in my experience. I asked myself what his conduct in this matter — so entirely unexpected by Lucilla, as well as by me — could possibly mean. My knowledge of his character, obtained through his daughter, and my memory of what we heard him say on the other side of the wall, suggested that his conduct might mean — Money.

We assembled in the sitting-room.

The only person among us who was quite at his ease was Mr. Finch. He never let his daughter and his guest alone for a single moment. “My child, show Mr. Dubourg this; show Mr. Dubourg that. Mr. Dubourg, my daughter possesses this; my daughter possesses that.” So he went on, all round the room. Oscar appeared to feel a little daunted by the overwhelming attentions of his new friend. Lucilla was, as I could see, secretly irritated at finding herself authorized by her father to pay those attentions to Oscar which she would have preferred offering to him of her own accord. As for me, I was already beginning to weary of the patronising politeness of the little priest with the big voice. It was a relief to us all, when a message on domestic affairs arrived in the midst of the proceedings from Mrs. Finch, requesting to see her husband immediately on the rectory side of the house.

Forced to leave us, Reverend Finch made his farewell speech; taking Oscar’s hand into a kind of paternal custody in both his own hands. He spoke with such sonorous cordiality, that the china and glass ornaments on Lucilla’s chiffonier actually jingled an accompaniment to his booming bass notes.

“Come to tea, my dear sir. Without ceremony. To-night at six. We must keep up your spirits, Mr. Dubourg. Cheerful society, and a little music. Lucilla, my dear child, you will play for Mr. Dubourg, won’t you? Madame Pratolungo will do the same — at My request — I am sure. We shall make even dull Dimchurch agreeable to our new neighbour before we have done. What does the poet say? ‘Fixed to no spot is happiness sincere; ‘tis nowhere to be found, or everywhere.’ How cheering! how true! Good day; good day.”

The glasses left off jingling. Mr. Finch’s wizen little legs took him out of the room.

The moment his back was turned, we both assailed Oscar with the same question. What had passed at the interview between the rector and himself? Men are all alike incompetent to satisfy women, when the question between the sexes is a question of small details. A woman, in Oscar’s position, would have been able to relate to us, not only the whole conversation with the rector, but every little trifling incident which had noticeably illustrated it. As things were, we could only extract from our unsatisfactory man the barest outline of the interview. The colouring and the filling-in we were left to do for ourselves.

Oscar had, on his own confession, acknowledged his visitor’s kindness, by opening his whole heart to the sympathising rector, and placing that wary priest and excellent man of business in possession of the completest knowledge of all his affairs. In return, Reverend Finch had spoken in the frankest manner, on his side. He had drawn a sad picture of the poverty-stricken condition of Dimchurch, viewed as an ecclesiastical endowment; and he had spoken in such feeling terms of the neglected condition of the ancient and interesting church, that poor simple Oscar, smitten with pity, had produced his cheque-book, and had subscribed on the spot towards the Fund for repairing the ancient round tower. They had been still occupied with the subject of the tower and the subscription, when we had opened the garden gate and had let them in. Hearing this, I now understood the motives under which our reverend friend was acting as well as if they had been my own. It was plain to my mind that the rector had taken his financial measure of Oscar, and had privately satisfied himself, that if he encouraged the two young people in cultivating each other’s society, money (to use his own phrase) might come of it. He had, as I believed, put forward “the round tower,” in the first instance, as a feeler; and he would follow it up, in due time, by an appeal of a more personal nature to Oscar’s well-filled purse. Brief, he was, in my opinion, quite sharp enough (after having studied his young friend’s character) to foresee an addition to his income, rather than a subtraction from it, if the relations between Oscar and his daughter ended in a marriage.