Commitment: The Beauty in Between (A Beautiful Series Novella) (4 page)

“No,” she chokes out, shaking her head from side to side as
her eyes glisten with tears. “No. I won’t.”

“Well what’s the point?!” I yell, my heart thudding through
my ears, my mind in turmoil. “You don’t want to get married, and you don’t know
if you want to have kids. What’s the fucking point Katrina?!

“You say you love me. You say you want to spend the rest of
your life with me but as what? A successful attorney? That’s not who we are
Trina. We’re supposed to be a couple first – before everything – WE, should
come first.”

“I want to marry you. I want to marry you now. I want to
have a family with you. It doesn’t have to be straight away, but it does have
to be before we’re both too old to enjoy our children. What’s the point of having
this great career and working our arses off if we don’t have a family to share
it with?”

She looks down at her ring and twists it around her finger.
I hear a slight sniffle as she fights her tears. She hates crying, and I hate
feeling like I’ve made her cry. But we need to deal with this.

“I want to marry you too David. And I do want kids with you.
I really do. I didn’t mean anything I said.”

“Then what the fuck are we fighting about?”

She closes her eyes, her face slightly furrowed as she lets
out a great sigh. “The wedding,” she reveals.

“The wedding?”

“Yes,” she strangles out. Her pleading eyes meet mine.
What’s going on?

I hold up my hands and scrunch my face in confusion. “What?
I’m lost here Trina. I need more information.”

She closes her eyes and tears start to fall down her cheeks.
“I… I don’t know enough people to invite to our wedding!” she wails as she puts
her hands in her face and bursts into tears.

I can’t believe I just said that out loud. It sounds so
ridiculous. But it’s true. Besides David, I don’t have many friends.

In high school, David and I kind of broke off from all of
our groups when rumours and bitchiness got too much for us. From that point on,
it just became he and I against the world - which has worked fantastically for
us so far, but it doesn’t create much of a wedding party and doesn’t give us
any guests besides family and a few work colleagues.

I feel like such a loser.

“What do you mean? You have your family and some of the
girls from work don’t you?” David asks, his voice suddenly calm and soothing as
he wipes at my tears. “Don’t cry baby girl. I’m sorry for yelling. We can work
this all out. It’ll be ok. Just talk to me.”

“You are my best friend David,” I sniffle. “You. That means
no maid of honour. No bridesmaids. No wedding party. I mean we don’t even know
anyone with a little girl that we could use as a flower girl!” I cry, my tears
start flowing all over again. I feel like such an idiot, but I can’t seem to
stop. I’ve been avoiding this wedding for two years and now my excuses aren’t
working. I have to be honest – no matter how stupid it sounds.

“Oh Trina,” David laughs kindly. “Who do you think is going
to be my best man? No one. You will be my bride, my best man… well, best woman
- best everything. There’s just you for me.”

“Well what are we supposed to do? We can’t have a wedding
without people!”

“Of course we can Trina. Anyone can be our witnesses. We
have family who can do that.”

“But I want to be a princess for a day!” I cry again. “I
can’t do that by myself! I need people walking down the aisle ahead of me. I
need a little boy to carry the rings and a little girl to throw petals. I can’t
do all that on my own!”

“You won’t be on your own. You’ll have me. You’ll have your
mum, my mum, Jenny. Are you telling me you wouldn’t invite Kayley? You still
meet her for lunch once a month. Doesn’t she count as a good friend?”

“Of course I’d invite her. But she’s just a normal friend.
We aren’t close – not bridal party close. And I can’t have our family do
everything - that’s not what I dreamed of David!”

“Dreamed of? What did you dream of Trina?” he asks kindly.

I get up and walk to our hall closet. “I’ll show you,” I say
quietly. I’m embarrassed to show him this. I’ve hidden it from him for years.
But I’m already crying over a lack of close girlfriends. I might as well
embarrass myself thoroughly.

I sit and watch her as she rummages through the cupboard and
returns to me with her hands behind her back. She’s hiding something.

“Don’t laugh,” she instructs me, producing an old photo
album that looks like it has a collage of magazine cuttings all over it.

She hands the album to me and I realise it’s a wedding scrapbook.
An old one.

“Are you serious?” I smile.

“Don’t laugh,” she repeats. There is a warning note in her
voice and she presses her lips tightly together to stifle the smile I can see
playing at the edge of her lips.

When I open the front cover there are pictures of big
flowing wedding dresses. They look like something out of that dance scene in
Beauty and the Beast. I turn the page and the next one has a photo of the two
of us when we were maybe ten or eleven, and all around the picture are lots of little
love hearts and writing in a childish hand saying ‘Mrs David Taylor’, ‘David 4
Katrina’ and the symbol meaning ‘true love forever’.

A smile threatens to turn into a chuckle as I look over her
declarations of love. It’s a good smile though. I think I loved her then too.

She’s pacing the floor nervously in front of me as I turn
more pages and take my time looking at each one. On them are pictures she’s
drawn, pictures she’s cut out of magazines, and lots of hand written ideas.
She’s been planning some sort of wedding extravaganza since she was a kid.

Suddenly it all makes sense. She can’t have a fairy tale
wedding without the bridesmaids and without the guests. She’s been avoiding the
wedding because she feels like she can’t have her dream.

“Baby girl,” I say softly, closing the album and setting it
on the couch beside me. “Come here.”

I hold my arms open and she rushes into my lap. She’s crying
openly about it now. It seems really silly, but I understand. I understand.

The next morning, I’m still feeling foolish. But I do feel
much better. At least the real reason I’ve been avoiding the wedding is out in
the open now, and I can stop making stupid excuses to try and get David to back
off.

It’s Sunday, so we have the day to spend together which we
really need after such an emotionally draining day yesterday.

I’m in the kitchen, cooking up an omelette and brewing
coffee. My plan is to take breakfast in to a sleeping David as a sorry for
being such a pain in the arse.

I realise I could have ruined our whole relationship
yesterday. All because I was too scared to admit that I had been planning our
wedding since we were ten, and I didn’t have enough friends to pull it off. I
feel horrible for making him feel like I didn’t want the world with him. So I’m
trying in some small way to make up for it.

“Good morning princess,” he says from behind me, his voice
still gruff and sexy from sleep.

Smiling, I turn around to face him. “Princess now? I knew I
shouldn’t have shown you that album.”

A grin spreads across his face and his eyes dance with
amusement, as he slips his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. “I
love the album Trina. I love that you always wanted to be my wife. I love that
you still want to be my wife.”

He presses his mouth to mine and I slip my arms up around
his shoulders and luxuriate in the feel of mouth. Morning breath and all.

Remembering the eggs on the stove I pull away quickly to
check on the pan.

“It smells really good. Is that chorizo in there?”

“Yeah, I’m trying to make up for yesterday.”

“It ended well. So there’s nothing to make up for,” he tells
me, dropping a kiss on the back of my neck as he reaches into the cupboard to
grab two plates for us.

Using the spatula, I halve the omelette and slide it onto
both of our plates. David has already poured our coffees and is carrying them
to the table.

“You sure you don’t want breakfast in bed?” I ask, following
him with the plates and some cutlery.

“Table’s fine. Although I’ll happily take breakfast here and
then take
you
in bed. I wouldn’t mind an encore of last night’s stellar
performance,” he suggests, eyebrows raised as he drags his eyes over my
scantily clad body. I’m still in the singlet and tiny sleeping shorts I wear to
bed.

“That could be arranged,” I tell him in my best sultry
voice.

“Good,” he places his hands on either side of my chair and
pulls me closer to him and kisses me. My head starts to swim with desire as he
works his mouth, now tasting of coffee, against mine. When he pulls away, he
brushes my hair back slightly and smiles at me. “I love you Trina,” he says
seriously.

“I love you too.”

“I have an idea,” I start, as we eat our breakfast together.

“Is it a new sexual position?” Trina asks without missing a
beat.

I laugh a little, covering my mouth as I’ve just put a piece
of omelette in there then shake my head. “No. It’s an idea about the wedding.”

She nods her head slowly, she seems unsure, but she’s waiting
for me to continue.

“Well, I know that you can’t have
your
dream wedding
but what if we have
my
dream wedding?”

She starts laughing and almost spits out her coffee. “Are
you serious? What’s your dream wedding? Bungee jumping off the Harbour Bridge
as we say ‘I do’?”

“No, but that’s a great idea. I’ll keep that as a backup
plan,” I tease.

“Oh god please don’t.”

“Trina – I’m serious. Would you let me plan the wedding?
I’ll take care of everything.”

“I don’t know. What about my dress?”

“I’m going to choose that too.”

“Oh no. No. I don’t think so.”

“Come on Trina. Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well then leave it to me. I won’t let you down,” I assure
her.

I can see in her face that she’s not sure about this. She
pulls her lips between her teeth and worries over it as she thinks.

“Come on princess. Give me a chance.”

She lets out a heavy sigh. “Alright. Do it. Surprise me.”

“You’re letting David plan your wedding? Have you signed up
for some sort of reality show or something?” my mother asks when I tell her
over the phone.

“No mum,” I laugh. “He just made the suggestion and I
thought ‘why not’. I’m actually kind of excited about what he might do.”

“But what about me? Don’t I get to help you plan?” she asks,
her voice getting small and childlike.

“I’m sorry mum, but you were never going to be planning my
wedding. Our taste is just too different,” I laugh.

“It’s not that different,” she objects. “It might have been
a nice bonding experience.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll tell David you want to help though ok. He
might need it somewhere.”

“Ok, I guess I’ll have to settle for that. Although this
could be a disaster Katrina. Have you at least set the date now?”

“It won’t be a disaster mum, it’ll just be… different. It’s
all a surprise. Even the date.”

“But you’ll have to sign your ‘intent to marry’.”

“Yeah I know, we’re going to do that really soon so we can
get married at any point once the twenty one days are up.”

“Well Katrina. I sincerely hope that this will all work
out.”

“It will mum. I have complete faith in him.”

***

“Do I get to help?” my mum says the moment I tell her that
I’m planning the wedding.

“I don’t know ma. It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

Her voice travels up an octave as her excitement comes
through her voice. “David. You know I never thought I’d get to help plan a
wedding because I didn’t have a daughter. Please let me in on this,” she begs.

“I’ll let you help where I can. But you can’t breathe a word
about any of it. I don’t want Trina to find out.”

“How are you going to get her dress fitted?”

“Blind fold.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I figured I’ll take her in to get measured up and
when they do the fitting, she’ll have to be blind folded.”

My mother laughs. “This is going to be fun.”

“I hope so.”

David is sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over his iPad
and making notes on a pad of paper next to him. My curiosity is killing me and
I try to sneak past him and take a peek at what he’s doing.

“Don’t even look in my direction,” he warns me, flipping
over the paper and hitting the home button.

“Come on babe, just tell me something. Anything, and I’ll go
away.”

“You’re going to be beautiful,” he tells me, grinning that
sexy half smile of his.

I chuckle a little and shake my head from side to side. This
is going to be torture for me. Moving closer to him, I place my hands on his
shoulders, squeezing at his muscles and working out the kinks from the week of
work.

He hums and leans his head against my arm, before taking my
hand in his and kissing my palm.

“Come here,” he says, turning in his chair and guiding me so
I’m standing between his legs.  He lifts my shirt and plants a kiss on my
stomach, just above my belly button. “Are you still worried that marrying me
might ruin your career?” He kisses me again, his hands sliding underneath my
shirt, up to my breasts. Only his fingertips brush the underside of them, just
enough to make me ache for more.

“Not at all. I’m sorry I ever said it. And I’m sorry for
behaving so badly. I should have just thrown the album out years ago. It’s all
so unrealistic.”

“Hmmm, the page about the unicorn carrying you down the
aisle was a bit out there. But I love the album. I’m glad you kept it, and I
wish I had have known about it all along.”

“Really? It wouldn’t have scared you away?”

He pulls me closer and lifts my shirt higher, kissing along
my chest until he takes my already erect nipple in his mouth. He sucks back and
drags his teeth over it causing me to suck in my breath as he hums in the
negative.

“I wouldn’t have wasted my time with other girls. I would
have been with you all along.”

“I wish we could go back in time and skip all the crap that
happened before us.”

He hums again as his fingers slip into the waist band of my
yoga pants and pull down. “We could have been doing this a lot sooner,” he
tells me as he slides his hand between my legs, teasing my clit as he works his
way between my folds and brings my juices forward, circling the slickness over
my already swelling nub.

I gasp. My knees weakening as arousal floods my body and his
fingers enter me. Moving my hips against his hand, I steady myself by placing
my hands on his shoulders. I’m quivering.

He continues to plant soft kisses across my abdomen as he
pulses his fingers inside me then out and over my clit. The rhythm sends me
over the edge and I grip onto him tightly with my hands to stop myself from
dropping to the floor, lost in my own bliss.

When he removes his hand from between my legs, I drop to my
knees and reach up, guiding his face so I can kiss him. I moan into his mouth
as he slides his tongue over mine, small sounds escaping his throat as I slide
my hands down his chest until I reach his pants. I undo his button, releasing
his cock from its confines and sliding my hand over the smooth skin.

“And we could have been doing this,” I murmur, lowering
myself down so I can take him into my mouth. He’s too large to take in all the
way, and my lips have to stretch to make it around his girth, but I have
learned how to lick and suck and work him with my hand until he erupts in my
mouth.