Coming Home (21 page)

“Okay, but at least he told her about it, even if he’s not ready to talk about it yet. If he were some kind of shady bastard, he wouldn’t have said anything.”

“Guys, stop,” Leah interrupted. “Holly, I hear what you’re saying, and I’m gonna go slow with him. It’s just…” She shook her head. “I wish I could explain it without sounding like an idiot, but there’s something about him. He’s genuine. I can feel it in my bones.”

It was quiet for a beat before Holly said, “You also thought Scott was genuine.”

“
Holly
!” Robyn barked, and Leah dropped her eyes as Holly covered her face with both hands.

“I’m sorry, Leah. I just meant that—”

“No, it’s okay,” Leah said, her eyes still trained on her lap. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But this time…everything just
feels
different. I can’t explain it.”

And she couldn’t explain it. All she knew was that she felt oddly connected to Danny. There was something about him that spoke to a long-forgotten part of her—that awakened something dormant in her soul and made her
want
things again.

Ever since that first day at the Cheesecake Factory, something had changed for her. It was as if letting her guard down with him had somehow shaken her foundation, and every layer of resistance and detachment she’d built up for the past two years had crumbled in on itself. And instead of panicking—instead of scrambling to pick up the pieces and rebuild—she found herself wanting to kick the debris away and breathe in everything around her.

Every conversation, every interaction with him, freed her a little more.

It was there even in the little things, like the way her body reacted to the timbre of his voice, or the simplest of his touches. The way seeing him in pain caused a lump in her throat, like she was the one hurting. Her connection to him felt mature, as if it was something that had existed long before she had felt it or acknowledged it.

What happened between them that morning only reinforced it; she had confessed her biggest disgrace, her most humiliating regret, only to have him wrap her in his arms without even flinching at her offense. Like he had known all along and had already forgiven her.

She could try to explain it to Holly and Robyn, but Leah knew they wouldn’t understand. Hell,
she
didn’t even really understand. But that didn’t make it any less real for her.

Holly moved from her spot on the floor, crawling over to where Leah sat on the couch before she rested her head in her lap. “I’m sorry. You know me and my big mouth love you and are just looking out for you.”

Leah smiled, running her hand over the back of Holly’s hair. “I know. And I will go slow. I promise.”

Holly lifted her head, smiling at Leah before she hopped to her feet. “Okay, should we put the movie in now? Ryan Gosling is shirtless in this, so like seriously, what the fuck are we waiting for?”

Leah and Robyn laughed as Holly walked over to the DVD player with the movie. She’d brought it over, along with some takeout from the girls’ favorite sushi restaurant, in honor of their last girls’ night before Robyn got married. But as soon as they’d walked into Leah’s apartment, the relentless third-degree interrogation took precedence over the food and entertainment. She’d known them too long, and they could see all over her face that something had changed for her. Within ten minutes of their arrival, Leah had told them everything, beginning with Danny’s drunken phone call and ending with her bringing him to his car earlier that afternoon.

“Oh, here,” Robyn said, reaching into her bag and pulling out a small stack of envelopes before tossing them to Leah. “We got your mail on the way in.”

“Thanks,” Leah said, quickly sifting through the stack as Robyn started taking the containers of sushi out of the bag. There were two bills and a magazine subscription renewal.

And one other.

Leah laughed humorlessly as soon as she saw it.

“What?” Holly asked, coming back to the couch with the remote.

“Well, he’s certainly goal oriented,” Leah said as she tossed the envelope onto the coffee table before her. “You gotta give him that.”

“Oh my God, is that from Scott?” Robyn asked.

Leah nodded.

“What is it?”

“Don’t care,” Leah said as she took one of the containers from the table and popped off the lid.

“I do,” Holly said, swiping it from the table and tearing the envelope open.

“Is it a love letter?” Robyn asked. “Do a dramatic reading!”

Leah laughed as Holly shook her head. “Not a love letter. Too heavy,” she said, reaching her hand in and pulling out a stack of pictures. She plopped down between Leah and Robyn on the couch as she started flipping through them.

The first one was of Leah and Scott at the beach the summer they first met. She was sitting in between his legs on their towel, leaning back against his chest and smiling as he kissed her cheek. The next one was the two of them at the baseball field where Scott played with his team from work. It was a candid shot, neither of them looking at the camera; Leah stood with her arms around his waist, her eyes closed and her cheek pressed against his chest. Scott had his arms wrapped around her shoulders with his chin resting on the top of her head. The next picture was of the two of them lying in Scott’s bed, their heads together as Leah held the camera away from them and snapped the shot. They were both wearing lazy, contented smiles, and Leah closed her eyes momentarily to ward off the memory. They had spent that entire day in bed, making love over and over, only getting up to use the bathroom or get a drink.

It went on and on. Various pictures of them hugging, kissing, laughing, smiling. Just when Leah thought she couldn’t take any more, the onslaught of images finally ended.

And then came the index card.

I know you remember how this used to be. Look at us, Leah. You were happy with me. One mistake isn’t enough to change that, and you know it. You were upset. You had a right to be. But you made your point, and I’ve certainly served my sentence. Let’s stop wasting time. We’re better together, and you know that too. You still love me, beautiful. As much as I still love you.

Holly shook her head in disbelief as Robyn bit her lip, glancing nervously at Leah.

A few seconds of pregnant silence passed before Leah said, “Guys, I’m not gonna do what you all think I’m gonna do, which is, you know…
flip out
!” she yelled, waving her arms maniacally in the air.

Holly and Robyn instantly laughed at her
Jerry McGuire
reference, and Leah grabbed the stack of pictures from Holly’s hand before she stood.

“What are you gonna do with those?”

“Purge,” she said as she walked toward the kitchen.

Leah turned the corner and approached the garbage can, stepping on the pedal to lift the lid. Just as she was about to toss the pictures in, she stopped, sifting through them one more time.

She
had
been so happy in all of them.

But so much had happened since then that it felt like she was looking at a different girl. And truth be told, Leah felt bad for her. She felt bad that the rug was right about to be pulled out from underneath her, and this girl didn’t have the slightest idea.

Leah flipped until she was once again looking at the index card.

I know you remember how this used to be
.

But she couldn’t. It was like when she was a little girl, and she’d watched a show that explained how magicians made rabbits and other things appear in hats. After that she could never watch a magic show again, not after she’d seen them for what they really were. A ruse. A sham.

A lie.

And that was exactly what this felt like. Looking at these images felt like watching a magic trick that had already been exposed. It left her feeling disappointed, and more importantly, unimpressed.

With a flick of her wrist, she tossed the photos into the trash can, letting the lid close on that era of her life once and for all.

“Jesus Christ. So is this typical, or is Robyn one of those dictator brides?”

Leah laughed, rolling onto her side to turn off the light before scooting further under her covers. “It’s pretty typical,” she said, switching the phone to her other ear. “You’ve never been in a bridal party?”

“Once,” Danny said. “For my cousin, when I was like twelve. But I definitely don’t remember it being a three-day affair.”

“Well, it’s typical for
girls
, I should say.”

“Of course. You guys always have to make shit more complicated,” he said, and Leah smiled.

She’d spent the past few months being excited over Robyn’s wedding, but tonight, for the first time, she wished it wasn’t going to occupy her entire weekend.

She had spoken with Danny on the phone every night that week, and this time when he called, he asked if she wanted to hang out that weekend. Leah explained to him that she’d be spending Friday getting massages, manicures, pedicures, and facials with the bridal party, followed by the rehearsal dinner. Saturday was the wedding, which of course would occupy her entire day, and then Sunday, the entire bridal party, along with Robyn and Rich’s families, would be attending a celebratory brunch at the hotel.

“Alright, maybe next weekend, then,” he said. “I have something I want to show you.”

“Well, I’m getting back late Sunday afternoon. We could do something Sunday night if you want. I don’t have work on Monday.”

“You don’t?”

“Martin Luther King Day,” she said.

“Ah, that’s right.”

“Can you do a Sunday night? I don’t know what your hours look like on Monday.”

“I make my own hours. One of the perks of being the boss.”

Leah shook her head. “You think you’re so cool.”

Danny chuckled. “Let’s do Sunday night then. Text me when you get back.”

“Okay,” she said through a yawn.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you then. Have fun this weekend.”

“Thanks,” she said, her eyes falling closed. “Good night.”

“Good night sweet girl,” he said before ending the call.

Leah’s eyes flipped open before she smiled, reaching over to place her phone on her nightstand. It was the first time he’d called her that since his drunken rant the weekend before, but it sent the same thrill through her.

With a tiny sigh, she curled into her comforter and closed her eyes.

She fell asleep imaging those words falling from his lips before he pressed them to hers.

As cliché as it was to say a bride looked like a princess on her wedding day, that was the only way Leah could think of to describe Robyn. She couldn’t remember a time her friend looked more beautiful. And it wasn’t just her fairy-tale gown, or her elegant up-do, or her delicate makeup. It was because she was so unbelievably happy. Her smile didn’t leave her face the entire day, and every time Leah saw Robyn and Rich look at each other, it felt like she was intruding on a private moment. They were in their own little world, so wrapped up in each other, so conspicuously in love. It was extremely humbling to be around.

Leah said good-bye to Holly and Robyn on Sunday afternoon, wishing Robyn a wonderful honeymoon and telling Holly she’d talk to her later that week. She hadn’t told her about her plans with Danny that night for fear of getting a lecture about not taking things slow enough.

Before Leah left the hotel, she texted Danny, and he asked her to meet him at his apartment around seven. He also told her that she shouldn’t eat anything because he’d have dinner ready for them, a notion that left her apprehensively intrigued.

She spent the afternoon running errands before she showered and headed down to his place, and as soon as she neared his building, a series of flutters started low in her stomach. She had thought of Danny so many times that weekend, wondering what it would have been like if he had come to the wedding with her. Picturing him in a suit, his black hair in sexy disarray, smiling his adorable smile. Laughing with her, holding her hand as she introduced him to people.

Kissing her softly as they danced.

Leah parked at the end of his block, and the fluttering in her stomach doubled as she rode the elevator to his floor.