Authors: Julia Barrett
“They bought it?”
“No reason not to. I wasn’t even around that night. I was on a plane. They interviewed Cara and she backed me up. She told them I called her from the airport mad as hell because it was after midnight and I was stuck there waiting for him.”
Micah’s nephew laughed. “She does have her uses. Even a cop can tell there isn’t a dishonest bone in that woman’s body. She’s good cover for you.”
“True,” said Micah. “There is that.”
His nephew set down his glass of orange juice. “You want to check out the new shipment? It’s unusually potent stuff. We should be able to cut it and increase our profits. According to a man I trust a little goes a long way. You’re welcome to try it. See what you think.”
Micah finished his scotch and nodded his agreement. A little cocaine would be nice right now. He’d been careful about using since Jerry’s disappearance. Micah wondered if he should give Cara a call, just in case she’d decided to do as he told her and end the pregnancy. He shrugged. If she did, she did. He’d know in a week.
∗ ∗ ∗
Cara called her mother to give her the news about the baby. She hadn’t spoken with her in over a month. She decided she needed to tell her, share her news, feel a connection with someone, someone who would care if she disappeared.
Her mother was happy for her, in a guarded sort of way. She begged Cara to come for a visit. They hadn’t seen each other in over a year. Cara declined. She allowed her mother to hear the remorse she felt.
Micah would never allow Cara to leave, but she didn’t tell her mother that. When her mother offered to come there, Cara hedged. She didn’t want to expose her mother to any danger.
As Jerry had predicted, Micah’s behavior was becoming more erratic. She could sense that he barely managed to keep himself under control even on his good days. On a bad day he was capable of anything. He’d said as much when she’d uttered the words, “Then divorce me.”
“I’m fine, mom,” Cara said. “Maybe I’ll fly back to Iowa at the end of the summer.” She knew full well that any such visit was unlikely.
Before she could stop herself, Cara asked, “Mom, um, how . . . ? How are . . . ? Have you heard from . . . ?”
She stopped James’ name from leaving her mouth. What would happen if he knew about her situation? Would he fly to her rescue? Or would he shrug and say, “Well, that’s Cara for you.” She suspected the latter and she couldn’t say she’d blame him after the way she’d treated him.
God, she was hardheaded. Look what it took to wake her up, a monster named Micah Welsh, her husband.
Instead she asked, “How’s Phil? How’s the weather?”
Before she hung up, Cara said, I love you, mom.”
She meant them, the four little words. It felt good to say them aloud. The way Micah was behaving she might never have another opportunity to tell her mother how she really felt.
∗ ∗ ∗
Louise Jackson called Will. She’d promised to do so whenever she heard from Cara.
“Cara’s pregnant,” she said. “But something’s not right.”
“Pregnant?” Will had a hard time getting past the word. He vividly remembered her last pregnancy.
“Yes, she’s about two and a half months along, but I’m worried. I haven’t seen her in over a year and when I ask about a visit, she says no.”
“I wouldn’t worry. I think she’s avoiding us. She made it clear she wanted a clean break. Did she ask about James? Or me?”
“No, but I got the feeling that she wanted to.”
“What gave you that impression?”
“There was a moment when she started to ask a question, but then she hesitated and she asked about Phil instead. I got the distinct feeling she was going to ask about James. She never talks about her husband, you know, Micah.”
“What does he do again?”
“Honest to god, I’m not sure. That’s another thing she doesn’t talk about.”
“Did she say anything else?”
“Not much. She told me she loves me.”
That gave Will pause. Cara wasn’t sentimental or affectionate where her mother was concerned.
“Well,” he said. “She’s pregnant. That can make a woman emotional.”
Louise said, “Will, not Cara. I can count the times Cara’s said she loves me on one hand, on half a hand. There’s something wrong. I’m going to try to see her this summer. Phil has a two-week vacation coming up in August. We can take a drive out to Utah.”
“Don’t you think you should ask her first?”
“I’ll let her know when we’re on our way. She’s my daughter. It’s her first child and I’ve never even met her husband.”
“All right then, just keep in touch and let me know if she calls again.”
“Are you going to tell James?”
“No,” said Will. “He’s got a new girlfriend. He seems pretty serious about this one.”
“It’s a darn shame,” she said. “James and Cara were meant for each other.”
“You don’t have to tell me. Goodbye, Mrs. Jackson.”
Will hung up the phone and stood in silence. He hoped Cara wasn’t in trouble. If she was there wasn’t much any of them could do. He didn’t plan to tell James about her pregnancy. That would be cruel. He didn’t even plan to mention the call unless James specifically asked.
James was just starting to pull out of his melancholy. He’d nearly completed his cardiology fellowship and he’d accepted a
locum tenens
position at a family practice clinic in northern Minnesota, in Grand Marais. He was scheduled to start in a couple weeks. Three, four months ago James had begun dating again. He’d recently hooked up with a real looker, a society babe. Jennifer Bates. She worked as a part-time fashion model and a features’ editor for some magazine. Will had met her a few weeks ago when he’d been out to the East Coast.
There was no question that Jennifer was beautiful and brainy. But she wasn’t Cara. Will had found her to be somewhat superficial. She was the country club type, but if she made James happy then what Will thought of her didn’t matter, so he’d kept his opinion to himself. James deserved some happiness.
Will was the one who found himself at loose ends. He’d decided to stay on in Iowa City and continue his work in cancer research. He had no shortage of dates, but not one of the women he went out with was what he was looking for. He was looking for someone like Cara, someone complicated and creative, a woman who came with a little angst, but who possessed a quirky sense of humor. He wanted a woman who wouldn’t worry about her hair or how her butt looked when she was in bed with him.
Maybe it was his age. Will was beginning to feel like he should get serious. Fall in love with some woman, marry, and start a family. Serial dating just didn’t cut it anymore. He wondered if there was a woman out there for him.
Louise Jackson had nailed it when she said James and Cara were meant for each other. That worried him. Look what had happened to them. They’d both suffered and Cara had compounded the tragedy by refusing to turn to the man who loved her. Will understood her reasons, but that didn’t make the situation any more acceptable.
He was surprised at how philosophical he’d become over the past year and a half. Maybe it was the shock of seeing Cara like that, broken and bloody. He’d always blithely assumed that life would work out, that love would work out. That if you screwed up a second chance would be waiting for you right around the bend. If there was one thing Cara and James had taught him, it was that he couldn’t take love for granted. Sometimes you didn’t get a second chance.
August 13, 1978
C
ara drove to the restaurant. She needed to talk to Micah, but she was terrified of his reaction. She wanted to have the conversation in a public place. There might be consequences to pay later, but perhaps she could mitigate the worst of it. The past couple of months had been relatively quiet. A good part of the reason was that Micah wasn’t home much. If he did come home he ignored her, that is he ignored her when he wasn’t yelling about what a fat pig she’d become. Cara always did her best to look contrite, reassuring him that after the baby was born she’d get her figure back quickly. The only good thing about his disgust was that he had no interest in sex—at least in sex with her.
Micah’s words were ironic. She’d just been to the doctor and he was concerned about the fact that Cara was underweight. She’d only gained ten pounds in five months. The doctor believed her when she claimed her morning sickness hadn’t abated. The truth was somewhat different. When Micah was anywhere near Cara became incapable of eating. Just the thought that he might show up at home kept her out of the kitchen. It was as if she lost the ability to swallow the instant he walked through the door.
Cara knew she needed to eat for her baby. She tried. As soon as Micah left for the restaurant or one of his clubs, and she was absolutely certain he wouldn’t be back, she’d prepare herself a well-balanced meal and force herself to eat it. She took her prenatal vitamins and her iron tablets religiously. It was only when Micah was out of town that Cara managed to relax enough to eat like a normal pregnant woman should.
Cara couldn’t help it. When she opened the door to the restaurant her eyes automatically sought out Jerry. She kept expecting to see him behind the bar.
This new manager was cold and calculating. She had to be careful around him. He didn’t miss much. His name was Brian. Cara didn’t know his last name.
She said, “Hi. I need to speak with Micah. Is he in?”
“He’s up in his office. I’ll let him know you’re here.”
“Thanks.”
Cara sat down to wait. After a few moments Brian returned. Cara couldn’t miss the odd look on his face.
“Mr. Welsh says to go on up.”
Cara rose from her chair. She had been hoping she’d be able to say what she had come to say in front of an audience. She didn’t relish the idea of being alone with Micah.
She climbed the stairs to Micah’s office. The door was closed. She knocked, as was her custom, before entering. At first, the sight that greeted her didn’t register. Then Cara began to focus. Micah sat on the edge of his desk, eyes narrowed, grimacing. His fly was open, and one of the new cocktail waitresses—what was her name? Natalie?—knelt before him, her hand on him, her mouth around his erection. She was giving him a blowjob. Cara let out an involuntary gasp and reached behind her for the door.
“Stay,” Micah gritted out through clenched teeth. “Watch and see how a real woman gives a man head. Maybe you can learn something.”
Natalie pulled her mouth away long enough to giggle, then she returned her attention to Micah. Cara ignored Micah’s words and grasped the doorknob.
“Stay, bitch, or I’ll fucking kill you.”
Cara removed her hand from the knob and faced Micah. She forced herself to watch, her face a bloodless mask, as Micah tugged at the young woman’s top and toyed with her breasts. Finally, Natalie, or whatever her name was, brought him to climax. As he groaned his release, he shut his eyes.
Cara was grateful that he did or he would have seen the pure hatred written all over her face. By the time he opened his eyes again she had managed to compose herself. Micah patted the woman on the head.
“Thank you,” he said. “You are much better than that piece of ice over there.” He pointed at Cara.
Cara didn’t respond. Standing there, watching the show, she’d come to a crucial decision. She couldn’t wait any longer. Next week, she would either be gone or she would be dead. The young woman pulled down her top and straightened her skirt. She flounced toward the door. Cara moved out of her way. She even opened the door and held it for her. She left it open. She waited for Micah to zip his trousers.
“You enjoy that?”
“It appeared you did,” Cara replied, before she could stop herself.
“Damn right I did. That girl knows how to make a man feel like a man, unlike some people.” Micah frowned at her. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I came by to let you know that my mother and her husband will be in town next week. My mother is coming by to see me. We haven’t been together in almost two years.”
“Oh, hell no! Hell no. I don’t want her in my house.”
“Micah, please, I’m talking about my mother. She only plans to spend a day or two. I’m pregnant. When a woman is pregnant she wants to see her mother. Please Micah. You won’t have to do anything.”
Recognizing the expression on Micah’s face, Cara braced herself. Whatever he planned to do was going to hurt. She wrapped her arms protectively around her swelling abdomen. Suddenly, there was a body behind her.
“Boss,” Brian’s voice came from over her shoulder. “Boss, we need you downstairs, now. There’s a problem with one of the deliveries.”
Micah gave her a shove as he passed by. “We’ll finish this conversation later.”
Cara waited until she heard their footsteps fade away before she crumpled into a chair. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take, but she had to make it another week at least. Until her mother and Phil could get here. She wanted witnesses. If she was going to die she wanted someone to know she was dead. She refused to vanish.
Cara remembered what Jerry had said, “Don’t call the police.”
She hadn’t, so far. Over the past few months, she’d devised a plan. It was risky and it could get her killed, but then anything she did or didn’t do could get her killed. The police were essential, but not yet. She couldn’t call them yet. She prayed for the sake of her baby that she could survive one more week, just one more week.