Colorado 01 The Gamble (52 page)

“I scanned it, I didn’t have time –”

Max got even tenser at my side but I was
concentrating on the fact that I was getting tense too. Very tense.
Ultra tense.

“You scanned it?” I asked quietly but I
wasn’t being quiet in an effort to be gentle. I was being quiet in
an effort to control my temper.

“Nina, things are busy at work, you know
that, that’s why I couldn’t come with you on your holiday,” Niles
replied, sounding like he was getting irritated though only mildly
so.

“
Niles, I didn’t
ask
you to come with me. The whole point of a timeout
is to be
apart
so you can
think about whether or not you want to be
together.
I explained that to you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Niles returned and that
dangerous film of red that boded bad things started to coat my
vision.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Max muttered while I
concentrated on trying to clear my vision so I didn’t end up
screeching like my mother.

“You can stay out of it.” My father entered
the conversation by speaking to Max.

“
Sorry, Larry, I’m in it,” Max shot back
and if things weren’t going so very, very poorly I might have
laughed. Dad hated to be called Larry,
hated
it.

“And who are you?” Niles asked, scowling at
Max.

“I’m Holden Maxwell,” Max answered
immediately, in other words before I could. “I own the house Nina
rented. There was a mix up, I had to be in town on personal
business and Slim didn’t tell Nina. She showed up at the house and
I was there. Lucky I was. She was sick as a dog, lapsed into a
fever so bad she was delirious for two days and I was worried I’d
have to take her to the hospital. The fever broke and since then
things have advanced between us. We’ve gotten to know each other,
we both like what we know and, bottom line, you didn’t take care of
what was yours. Now, as Nina has explained, you’ve lost it, I found
it and it’s mine.”

As usual, Max didn’t mince words and Niles
was now scowling at him but doing it with his mouth hanging
open.

Max ignored Niles’s scowl and, his head
swinging between me, Mom and Steve, he asked, “We done here?”

I heard Steve chuckle.

However, Mom declared,
“
I’m
not done.”

“Yeah you are, sweetheart,” Steve said,
pulling her back a couple of feet.

“I’m not done, either,” Dad stated and
finally stood.

“You got nothin’ to say. Far’s I can see,
this ain’t your business,” Max told him.

“She’s my daughter,” Dad declared.

“You fathered her but that doesn’t make her
your daughter,” Max retorted and Dad’s face got red.

“
As far as
I
can see, this isn’t any of
your
business either,” Dad returned.

“Then seems to me you aren’t seein’ very
well,” Max replied.

Dad didn’t continue because Niles spoke.

“
I lost
it
and you found
it
and
now
it
is yours?”
Niles asked Max and Max looked to Niles.

“That’s what I said,” Max answered.

I decided to wade in. “Niles, please, listen
to me –”

“This is unbelievable,” Niles snapped at me,
definitely mildly irritated, maybe even more than that though that
surprised me. I’d never heard him snap, not in all the years I’d
known him. “I heard his voice over the phone and I couldn’t believe
it, not even after Lawrence told me what was happening. I’m
standing here looking at you now and I still can’t believe it.”

My patience waning, I explained, “I’m
uncertain what you can’t believe since things haven’t been good
between us for awhile, a long while, Niles. And I told you I was
taking two weeks to think about our relationship. Then I wrote you
an e-mail which, incidentally, it took me two hours to write,
explaining we weren’t going to work and all the reasons why. Then I
phoned you and told you we were over.”

“
Perhaps, if you were feeling this way you
could have spoken to me, face to face, not in an e-mail or over the
phone,” Niles suggested patronizingly. “And you wouldn’t be acting
like your mother, performing this drama which forced me to leave
work and fly halfway around the world.”

That red film came back, this time with
blinding white flashes, the anger so strong, pent up so long, I had
to speak through my teeth in order not to scream.

“
If you’ll remember, Niles, I did. I spoke
with you about Charlie’s house and how I didn’t want to leave it
and you didn’t listen. I spoke with you about how I was feeling
about us, how I felt lonely even when I was with you and you didn’t
listen. I spoke to you about how my father wasn’t a part of my life
and here he stands.” Like my mother, I swept my arm out to indicate
my father but I didn’t take my eyes from Niles as I continued. “I
spoke with you about the fact we haven’t been intimate, not in
months and
months
and how
that concerned me but you didn’t seem to care.”

At these words, I felt Max’s hand convulse
in mine but I ignored it and kept right on talking.

“
I spoke to you about how all the times I
spoke to you about all these things – and there have been lots of
times I’ve spoken to you about all these things, Niles – I spoke
with you about how that bothered me deeply. And I spoke with you
about how it upset me nothing ever seemed to get through, no matter
what it meant to me, how important it was. And, finally, I
explained exactly what a timeout meant, hoping maybe you wouldn’t
want me to go that maybe, in the end, you’d do something to save
us, to show me you cared. But off I went and you didn’t even phone
to see if I got here safely which, in the end, I did but, being as
sick as I was, I actually
didn’t
.”

“And I explained, when you spoke to me about
all these things, such as you holding onto Charlie’s house, that
you needed to let them go and move on with your life and you
agreed,” Niles responded.

“I agreed?” I asked, the confusion back,
mingling with the anger.

“You’re wearing my ring,” Niles
declared.

I stared at him a moment, thrown, not
comprehending how my accepting his ring meant I agreed with him
about anything. Then in order to get this done and get the heck out
of there, I nodded and stuck my hand in my pocket.

“I’m glad you mentioned that,” I said,
pulling out the ring, leaning forward and putting it on the table.
“You can have it back.”

“I can have it back?” Niles asked,
incredulous, his eyes moving back and forth between me and the ring
so fast I feared he’d give himself a seizure.

“Niles, for the last time, please hear me.
We don’t work. It’s over.”

Niles stared at me a second, his eyes
getting cold in a way I’d never seen before, in a way that made my
blood chill, in a way that Shauna
wished
she could go cold then he looked to Max and stated
bizarrely, “I’ll double his offer.”

At this strange turn of the conversation, I
was back to blinking but this time also shaking my head a
little.

Max, however, didn’t seem confused by
Niles’s words. Niles’s words made Max go from annoyed to angry. I
knew it because I felt it.

“Seriously?” Max asked disbelievingly.

“What offer?” I queried but Niles and Max
ignored me.

“Double, take it,” Niles’s eyes swept Max
from head to toe then went back to his face. “Undoubtedly you can
use it.”

“What offer?” I repeated.

“Go to hell,” Max bit out.

“Triple,” Niles threw out instantly.

“
I always liked you, not much, but I liked
you,” Mom hissed at Niles, also clearly not surprised at this turn
in the exchange. “Now, your true colors shining through, I don’t
like you. Not at
all
.”

Niles didn’t bother to look at Mom, he
continued to stare at Max.

“You’d be a fool to walk away from that,”
Dad advised.

“What offer?” I asked, looking up at
Max.

“
Your father offered this…” Niles started
explaining and my eyes went to him, “
man
two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to disappear out of
your life. I’m making it three quarters of a million.”

I gasped at this news and took a step back
but Max’s hand held mine fast, he took a step forward and he was
stronger than me so I went with him.

He put the knuckles of his fist to the
table, leaned toward Niles and spoke quietly, cuttingly, in his
rough, gravelly voice.

“
Fucked her last night, man, and this
morning. Five times.
Five.
It was like she hadn’t been touched in a decade. So fuckin’
sweet.
Damn,
” he
taunted, his eyes locked on Niles. “You’ve had her, you gotta know,
not enough money in the world’s worth that.”

Niles’s torso jerked back and his face went
pale again but it was my father who spoke.

“
Honest to God, Nina, what on earth is the
matter with you? You’d choose
this
over Niles?”

I stood there, shocked at what Max had said
to Niles, shocked at what I was seeing from Niles, shocked that any
of this was even happening and I looked at my father, silent. Then
I looked at Niles. Then I looked over my shoulder at Mom and Steve.
Finally, I looked at Max.

What I had taken in consisted of both Dad
and Niles wearing corduroys and nice sweaters. Both fair. Both
slim. Both good-looking in a polished way. Both looking like money,
breeding, class but not a lot of warmth. In fact, they both looked
weirdly detached even though they were participating in this
debacle.

I also saw Steve’s attractive silver hair
and I knew it had been dark before it’d changed its color. He was
dressed much like Max without the thermal. No airs. No graces. All
man. He had his arm around Mom’s waist and her back was held close
to his front. He was bigger and taller than Mom and looked like he
could take on a bear and would if that bear threatened his
Nellie.

And I’d seen Mom wearing lovely tweed
trousers, a fitted, black turtleneck, a tailored, trendy, black
leather jacket over the sweater and a neat, stylish black purse on
her shoulder. Earrings, a pretty, unusual necklace glinting against
her sweater, her hair pulled back softly in a ponytail, her makeup
flawless. She stood in Steve’s arm, dressed fancy, dressed somewhat
like me, dressed like she liked to dress, standing there like she’d
been built to stand held close to Steve.

And I felt Max’s big, warm hand wrapped
around mine, engulfing it, steady, strong, safe. He’d stood by my
side through this fiasco and never let me go.

I stared at Niles and Dad across the table
and I got it then, it penetrated.

Niles actually
didn’t
care about me. Once he had me, he thought he had
me and that was it. The world revolved around him, his wants, his
preferences, his habits and all around him fit into that world. He
didn’t have to work at it, as partners always had to work at it. He
didn’t care enough to work at it. It was up to me to care, to fit,
to revolve around him, his wants, his preferences, his habits. He
didn’t listen to me because what I said didn’t matter, it didn’t
fit into his world and thus it didn’t mean a single thing to
him.

Even now, standing across from me, having
lost me, he didn’t try to win
me
. He
was trying to buy off
Max
.

“You got nothin’?” Max prompted Niles and my
attention went from what was now screamingly obvious back to
him.

“If you think you can goad me into getting
physical then think again,” Niles snapped back, his face had
changed again to another look I’d never seen on him. Contemptuous,
even scornful, and that hideous look shook me from my scalp
straight to my boots.

“I just told you I fucked what you consider
your woman, fucked her five times, and you got nothin’?” Max asked,
disbelieving.

“This is hardly gentlemanly behavior.” My
father entered the discussion.

Max straightened and turned to Dad. “Not
one fuckin’ thing gentlemanly about protecting what’s yours. Looks
like you’re gonna lose it, you do everything you can to stop that
from happening.” Max looked back to Niles. “And you didn’t do that.
She was a week away from me, she walked into a room I was in
holdin’ another man’s hand, I’d lose my fuckin’ mind. Not at her.
Wonderin’ where I lost my way and I’d talk to her about how to find
my way back.” I heard my mother make a noise from behind us but I
was too busy staring at Max’s profile, letting his words sink in
and noting, as they were doing that, how good they felt. When Niles
didn’t respond, Max finished, “Christ, you stand there, starin’
down your nose at me and you don’t even get it’s
you
who doesn’t deserve
her
.”

Moments passed and I continued to stare at
Max’s profile, his words rocking me in a good way but also
wondering how rude it would be if I made out with him in front of
Niles.

“Nina,” Niles called and I started, my eyes,
with effort, leaving Max and going to him. “Perhaps we can speak
alone,” he suggested tardily.

“Too late, asshole,” Max muttered, turned
from the table and dragged me out of the restaurant.

This was because things had gotten ugly and
therefore, as Max promised, we were out of there.