Colorado 01 The Gamble (45 page)

It was my turn to nod and I did so to Brody.
He nodded back.

“Neens?” Mindy whispered and my eyes quickly
went back to her.

“Yes, my lovely?” I prompted when she didn’t
say any more.

She pressed her lips together, her eyes
still turned away.

“I never thought –” she started.

“Tomorrow,” I said swiftly and firmly, now
really understanding and her eyes skittered to me, then away.

“But, I –”

“Tomorrow, darling,” I repeated and her gaze
came again to me but this time it stayed there.

“I didn’t think you’d ever, not ever… not
you… I wouldn’t ever do that to you.” She paused and then
whispered, “I guess I just didn’t think.”

“Stop it, Mindy,” I whispered back. “This
isn’t about me, sweetheart. This is about getting you back to where
you need to be.”

I watched the tears pool in her eyes and she
was still whispering when she said, “Thank you, Neenee Bean.”

I swallowed back a little sob, Max’s arm
slid around my shoulders and he curled my front into his side.

When I had control of my emotions, I said,
“Tomorrow we’ll talk, all right, my lovely?”

She nodded, now biting at her lips, Max gave
me a squeeze, I looked at him and he gave Brody a nod.

Brody moved but Max suddenly said, “No, hang
on.”

Then his arm around me was gone and both of
them were wrapped tight around Mindy. My hand went to my mouth and
my eyes went to Brody.

“You’re loved, Mins,” I heard Max’s gravelly
voice say and I watched Mindy’s fingers curl into his thermal at
the back. “Maybe you don’t get how much.”

“Max,” she choked back her own sob and I
closed my eyes but felt Brody’s arm replace Max’s around my
shoulders. I let my weight settle against his long body and he took
it like Max did, without effort.

“You forget that again, you call me, I’ll
remind you,” Max said to Mindy then demanded, “Promise me that,
babe.”

“Okay,” Mindy whispered.

“I want to hear you promise,” he ordered and
I watched her fingers clutch his shirt.

She hesitated a heart-stopping second before
she said, “I promise, Max.”

He paused too before he replied, “All right,
honey.”

He pulled away but caught her face in both
of his hands, touched his lips to her forehead, turned then took
over for Brody holding me up.

Both my arms slid around his waist and both
his arms slid around my back as Brody lifted his shoeless sister
into his arms and carried her down the steps and across the gravel
to the Subaru. Max and I held onto each other as we watched first
Barb and Darren execute a three-point turn and drive down the lane
then Brody and Mindy.

I waved just in case Mindy looked back or
Brody looked in his rearview mirror. I couldn’t know if they did
but I kept waving even after they turned into the road.

Max’s arms gave me a squeeze and I
sighed.

“Gettin’ cold, darlin’, gonna snow,” he said
and I pressed my cheek to his chest and looked at the view, both my
arms again around him. He was right, the clouds were covering the
sun and there was a definite chill in the air.

“You okay?” I asked his chest even though I
knew the answer.

“No,” he answered honestly.

“I’m so sorry, Max,” I whispered.

“Me too,” he whispered back.

We stood there awhile silently holding onto
each other. I was staring at Max’s view and I knew he was too but
he was doing it with his cheek against my hair.

It was then I wondered if things would have
felt differently if Max had been around when Charlie died, if I’d
have had this, maybe not the view, but his strong arms around me,
his cheek to my hair, if I’d had him to hold onto.

I figured it wouldn’t have hurt less,
losing Charlie, but it
would
have hurt less, knowing after I did that I wasn’t
alone.

And I realized then that losing Charlie was
when the loneliness crept in and I had been in such grief, I hadn’t
been able to beat it back. So when I met Niles not long after and
he’d been kind and in his way attentive, I’d fixed myself to him
because with him I was no longer alone.

The problem was, I never stopped being
lonely.

Max broke the silence when he asked softly,
“This how you feel all the time?”

I tipped my head back to look at him. “I’m
sorry?”

“Charlie.”

I closed my eyes then opened them and nodded
the truth.

“Honey,” he whispered, his face getting
soft, his eyes getting warm but there was something else there, an
understanding that rent my heart.

“But you have a different ending, darling.
She’s going to be okay,” I promised him.

“Yeah,” he replied, giving me a squeeze.

“Nina’ll freeze to death, you keep her on
the porch much longer,” Cotton called and we both turned to see him
leaning out the front door. “Anyways, we got pictures to hang, son,
get your hind end in here.” Then he pulled back but left the door
open.

The moment was broken so I decided it was
high time to lighten the mood.

Therefore as we walked, our arms around each
other, to the open door, I said, “I think Cotton is trying to
singlehandedly increase your gas bill by two hundred percent.”

“Did I say he was a pain in my ass?” Max
asked loudly as we moved into the house and Max closed the
door.

“I give him my pictures, he calls me a pain
in the ass,” Cotton complained to my mother who looked alarmingly
like she was cooking and I hoped the mood to concoct was assuaged
at breakfast because she’d also been to the grocery store which
meant her ingredients could easily have taken a creative therefore
alarming turn.

“Children these days,” Mom said back, “no
gratitude.”

“Max, Mom called you a child again,” I told
on my mother even though Max heard it himself.

“Yeah but she’s making her Mexican
casserole,” Steve said, I sucked in an excited breath, Steve
grinned at me then looked to Max. “Nina likes her mother’s Mexican
casserole.”

Max stopped me at the end of the counter and
I looked up at him and explained, “You will too. You taste it
you’ll think nothing but ‘Ambrosia of the Gods’.”

Max smiled down at me and I was relieved to
see this one was a little bit more like Max’s normal, beautiful
grin.

“Never thought those four words in my whole
life, Duchess,” he informed me. “In fact, I don’t even know what
one of them means.”

“Food of the Gods,” I informed him.

“Then what you’re sayin’ is your Mom’s
casserole is good.”

“
The
best
.”

“
And, it was one of my
concoctions,
” Mom put in snootily.

I got up on my toes and informed Max in a
loud whisper, “A rare hit.”

“I heard that!” Mom snapped.

Steve intervened by saying to Max, “We’re
gonna have to rig up some kinda hoist, you want that picture over
your bed. It isn’t gonna go up those spiral stairs.”

“No problem, had to do the same with the
furniture,” Max replied and concluded. “I’ll go to the barn, get my
tools.”

“I’ll go with you,” Steve offered and slid
off his stool.

“
I’ll stay warm,” Cotton declined
participation and slid
on
a
stool.

“I’ll frost the cake,” I announced and
started to pull away from Max’s arm but it tightened then I started
to tip my head back to look up at him but stopped when his lips hit
my temple.

Goodness but I loved it when he did things
like that.

“Be back in a second, baby,” he said softly,
giving me a squeeze with his arm.

I loved it when he said things like that
too. And when he gave me a squeeze.

He let me go, Steve joined him and I watched
as they walked away.

“He’s a keeper,” Mom noted, her eyes on the
space where we last saw Steve and Max.

She wasn’t wrong but I was too emotionally
depleted to deal with that fact right now or to process what I was
going to do about it.

“Sweetie,” Mom called, I looked at her and
my hand came out to clutch the edge of the counter at what I saw in
her face.

“Come here, Neenee Bean,” she said
softly.

“Mom.”

“Before you frost that cake, I want a
hug.”

“Mom, you know –”

“Come here, Nina,” she demanded firmly and I
did what I’d done since I was a child and I heard that tone from my
mother. I obeyed and walked into her arms.

They came around me and the tears hit my
throat, slid up my sinuses and then leaked out my eyes. I couldn’t
control them and in the safety of my mother’s arms I didn’t
try.

“Mom,” I whispered, holding on tight.

“Lots of bad stuff coming up for you today
and you can’t hold it in, darling, you just can’t.” She held back
just as tight and went on, “So you have to give it to your
Momma.”

I stuffed my face into her neck and like I’d
done countless times before from falling off my bike to getting
over terrible boyfriends, I gave it to her.

However this time was different for about
halfway through me doing that, her arms went loose, her hands went
to my shoulders, my head came up in surprise but I didn’t see much
partly because she was blurry but also because she turned me and I
found myself in the safety of Max’s arms.

Yes, the jury was now out. Verdict: Mom
liked Max for certain.

Max’s arms were different mainly because
they moved, they lifted me, they carried me across the room and
they settled me into his lap when he sat in the armchair.

“You… you need to hang the pictures,” I
snuffled into his neck, hiding my face from view.

“Later.”

“No, I’m okay,” I lied, wiping my hand along
my cheek and then letting out a hiccoughing sob.

“Later.”

My head came up and I protested, “Max.”

My head went right back into his neck when
his hand cupped the back of it and forced it there.

“
Duchess, I said
later
.”

Max was obviously determined and I knew what
that meant.

“Oh all right,” I gave in tearfully but also
grumpily.

Max made no response.

I slipped my arms around him and let his
warm, solid body cradle mine.

Never said this, Nina, never
thought I’d have the chance,
Charlie whispered into my head and the only response I
could give was to hold Max tighter,
I’m so sorry, sweetheart.

A new sob slid from my throat and Max held
me closer.

* * * * *

After the pictures were up (yes,
picture
s
for Mom, Steve
and Cotton all demanded that mine be hung between the two doors
under the loft, no one let me get a word in edgewise and Max sure
as heck didn’t intervene, not to mention, once up, they looked
amazing); after Mexican casserole which was even better than I
remembered and Max, who had two helpings, obviously thought so too;
after three beers (for Max) and two (for me); and after coffee and
yellow cake with fudgy, chocolaty frosting from a tub and a scoop
of ice cream that Mom, Steve and Cotton got from the store, Max and
I stood at the front door saying good-bye to our guests.

“Where are you staying?” I asked Mom as I
gave her a hug.

“Steve found a last minute deal on a condo
someone cancelled. It’s on the other side of town. We got it for a
song. We’re here all week!” Mom declared, my gaze slid to Max and I
watched his eyes close slowly before he shook his head.

“That’s great, Mom,” I said pulling away but
holding onto her hands and I actually did think it was great,
mostly because I missed my Mom and I didn’t get to see her that
often.

I hugged Steve next and then Cotton, who Mom
and Steve were driving home. Snow flurries were falling as was
night and Cotton had walked there because, I’d found out, he was
Max’s neighbor.

“I’ll walk ‘em to their car,” Max told me
then his eyes going to my stocking feet, he ordered, “You stay
here.”

I didn’t argue, I’d had a tough day, instead
I said, “Okay.”

“’Night, Neenee Bean, see you in the
morning,” Mom waved, bouncing on her sandals and then she turned to
Max and declared, “I expect to be carried to the car by my
daughter’s mountain man hunk, seeing as I might break a heel in
this snow.”

“Mom,” I snapped, “none of it has actually
stuck yet.”

“Don’t spoil my fun!” she snapped back and
then she screeched with delight when Max obliged her demands.

Steve grinned at me and shook his head.
Cotton stared at Mom and Max and also shook his head, though for
different reasons than Steve.

I watched through the windowed door for
awhile then I wandered to the armchair, plopped into it and stared
at the roaring fire, thinking Max was good at building fires.

Then again, he seemed good at
everything.

I waved through the window when I heard the
honking car drive by and then watched Max walk through the
door.

“Max, you shouldn’t give into her nuttiness,
trust me, it only makes her more nutty,” I called.

“Your Mom wants to be carried to her car, I
can carry her to her car, I’ll carry her to her car. Not a big
deal,” Max replied, bending and pulling off his boots.

“Whatever,” I muttered and turned back to
the fire.

I felt him come to me rather than heard him
and then I scrunched to the side as he sat in the chair beside me
and propped his feet up on the ottoman.

I was about to open my mouth to say
something, what I had no idea, when Max slid an arm around my
shoulders and spoke.

“Two miracles occurred today. My woman saved
the girl I think of as a sister’s life and it’s eight o’clock,
we’re alone and you’re not sick, drunk or asleep.”