Class Reunion (2 page)

The flight from Phoenix to Saint Louis would take a little over two hours. Once there, she would have a brief layover before the hour-long flight to Des Moines. Jen took a deep breath and settled into her seat. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax and ease the tension that was creeping along her shoulders.

Maybe her nerves were on edge for nothing, she reasoned. Maybe the trip would be completely uneventful. Not likely, she thought, too many emotional skeletons in the closet. She thought of her sister and missed her in a wistful sort of way. When they were children, she and Sally were inseparable. Jen couldn’t help missing her when she allowed herŹself to think about it. What had happened? They’d grown apart during high school. Sally was interested in boys and clothes and shopping, while Sally was interested in basketball — and Sheila.

Then Jen had moved away. Sally got married, and shortly afterward the kids began to arrive. Jennifer could swear that every conversation that she and Sally had shared over the past six years centered around Sally’s children. Not that she begrudged her sister in any way. She was quite happy for her sister. But since Jen became a stumbling idiot whenever a child came near her, she found it difficult to relate to Sally. It wasn’t that she didn’t like kids; she simply was completely clueless about what to say to them.

Maybe this visit will be better, she mused. Allison was nearly six years old and in school. Surely the two of them could hold a real conversation by now. And Tommy was just beginning to talk. A quick pang of guilt gripped her. She’d waited too long to see Tommy again.

A male flight attendant was coming up the aisle, pushing a serving cart, and offering breakfast to each passenger. Should she be daring and go with the omelette? Jen peered over the shoulder of the gentleman in front of her and wrinkled her nose. The eggs looked pretty risky.

“I’ll take the hotcakes.” Her voice betrayed her thoughts, and the attendant grinned as he handed her a tray.

Ever since that phone call from her sister, Jen had made a conscious effort not to think about Sheila Hoyt. Every time her image came to mind, Jen pushed it away, refusing to give it life. But now she let the memories come as she tried to imagine what Sheila might look like today.

She struggled to recall Sheila’s nineteen-year-old body. Curves. Round hips. Large, heavy breasts. It was harder to recall that same body in its adolescent years.

Where Jennifer’s body was board straight and narrow, Sheila’s had always been curvaceous and full. It was easy to remember those curves now. And Sheila’s breasts. Oh, the heaven Jen had known when her face was buried between those huge breasts.

She couldn’t picture Sheila without them. AlŹthough she knew there must have been a time, beŹcause she could recall the first time she’d discovered them. They were playing doctor, as usual. They were in Sheila’s bed, of course. They had no privacy at Jen’s because she shared a room with Sally.

Jen was the doctor, as she usually was when they began this ritual.

“Hmm.” She fingered the puffiness around Sheila’s left nipple and nearly broke out of the doctor character. “Nothing to worry about, Miss Hoyt, although there does seem to be a bit of swelling.”

“I told you, doctor,” Sheila replied gravely. “What should I do?”

“Oh, I have just the medicine, my dear.” She leaned over, lightly brushing her lips across first one nipple, then the other. She lingered, smiling as first one and then the other nipple began to pucker.

“There.” Jennifer lifted her head and smiled at her patient. “I recommend similar therapy at least once a day from now on.”

As always, Sheila began to squirm beneath her, already forgetting the game they were playing. Her young, thirteen-year-old body was pressing up against Jennifer, begging for attention.

Jennifer laughed. “You’re always in such a hurry.”

“I can’t help it.” Sheila grimaced. “I’m becoming a woman, you know, now that I have my monthly friend coming to visit.”

Jennifer giggled at Sheila’s imitation of Mr. Schofield, their physical education teacher. Mr. Schofield never talked about this when he talked about the girls becoming women in health class.

“Jenny!” Impatiently, Sheila rolled her over, pushing Jennifer beneath her as she pressed herself down, rubbing herself against the other girl until she finally sighed and rolled in a heap beside her.

“Coffee, Miss?”

“Huh?” Jennifer looked up at the flight attendant and grinned sheepishly. “Sure. Please. Cream. No sugar.” She accepted the plastic mug and put it to her lips, nearly burning her tongue on the hot liquid.

Jennifer did her best to concentrate on the inŹflight movie as the airplane continued its journey to Saint Louis. Once there, she chose to wait in her seat while other passengers boarded. Within moments, it seemed, the plane was once again in the air.

She stared out the window at the puffy clouds beneath the plane, trying to separate the memories of a child and the emotions of an adult. She didn’t know if she loved Sheila or hated her. Of course, she’d loved her when they were young. But she hated the way it had turned out.

She couldn’t really remember particulars anymore. She couldn’t recall at what point they had stopped pretending to play doctor. She had no idea when they began saying I love you, or when every song on the radio seemed to be written especially for them. Just as she couldn’t quite pinpoint when they had stopped planning to go to college together, or when they had stopped saying that they would be together forever.

All Jennifer could remember were the boys. One after another. Infiltrating their world. Suddenly Sheila wanted to go out with boys. Because everyone will think we’re queer if we don’t. She’d insisted that they double-date, and Jennifer always went along, copying Sheila’s smiles and laughter, and even kissing the boys the way she’d only kissed Sheila in the past. She could vaguely recall the way that her stomach had fallen the first time she’d witnessed Brian Dunne putting his tongue in Sheila’s mouth. And the first time she’d seen Bobby Grimes fumbling to grab at Sheila’s breasts was the last time she ever put herself in that position.

Somewhere along the line she’d given up, even though nothing really changed when they were alone. It was almost as though Sheila were two separate people. The popular one who laughed and giggled publicly, and the private one who spun her magic around Jennifer whenever they were alone.

Eventually, Jennifer had gone away to college alone and Sheila had stayed in Des Moines and attended the local community college while she decided what she wanted to do with her life.

It wasn’t until Jennifer had been away for about a month that she realized the real reason Sheila had stayed behind. It came in the form of Sheila’s excited voice over the phone on a Monday morning as Jennifer headed out to class.

“Bobby asked me to marry him!”

“What?” Completely stunned, Jen was unable to fathom such an idea. “Bobby Grimes?”

“Of course Bobby Grimes. Who else?”

What a stupid question. Why would Bobby ask Sheila to marry him? Somehow she knew the answer, but didn’t want to see it. “What did you tell him?”

“I said yes!” came the gushing reply. “Oh, Jenny! Can you believe it? We’re getting married next spring! You’ll be my maid of honor, won’t you?”

Stunned into silence, Jennifer could barely squeak out a reply. “B-but, what about us?”

“What about us, silly?” Sheila smoothed things over. “Nothing’s changed. We’re still the same. But I want to get married. I want to have kids.”

“Kids?” Jennifer whispered. Since when had Sheila wanted kids? Since when did she know Bobby well enough to marry him?

Sheila was rambling on, saying something about picking out her wedding gown and writing invitations. Jennifer couldn’t decipher the words above the roar in her ears. Her knees were so weak that she had to lean against the desk to steady herself.

“I have to go, Sheila.” She mumbled something about being late for class before dropping the receiver back on its cradle and eyeing it as though it were the devil himself. Her first instinct was to go to Des Moines and see Sheila face-to-face. But Arizona State was a long way from home, and she was forced to wait.

She agonized for months, barely able to focus on anything except what she would say the next time she saw Sheila. When the Christmas holiday arrived, Sheila was true to her word. She treated Jennifer the way that she always had. They made love at every opportunity. Wildly. Playfully. The way they had those years ago when Jen was the doctor and Sheila the patient. But this time Sheila reversed the roles, seemingly determined to make some point, to control the situation.

They barely spoke of Bobby and the upcoming wedding. So that even as she tried on the peach satin bridesmaid’s gown that Sheila’s mother was patiently pinning together, she didn’t believe for a minute that she would ever have to put it on for real. The wedding would never happen. She knew that Sheila loved her and that she just needed a little time. She would figure it out and never marry Bobby Grimes.

After lulling herself into a false sense of security, Jennifer returned to school with a different outlook. She began to concentrate on her studies, finding joy in the challenge of her classes. She began to reach out and make new friends, amazed to find how much she enjoyed meeting the diverse group of students that covered the campus. She began to think that the world and her eyes were opening up just a little bit more each day.

She soon found herself befriended by Georgette Hildibrand, a wild-haired sophomore who lived on the top floor of Jennifer’s dormitory, whom everyone referred to as Georgie. Georgie was by far the most outspoken and flamboyant individual that Jen had ever met. She was outrageously funny, her manner frequently pushing the borders of good taste. Reluctant at first, Jen couldn’t help but be a bit mesmerized by Georgie’s teasing.

Originally, Georgie had approached Jennifer right after Christmas break, begging for help with chemistry.

“I failed the class last year. I have to get through it this time and I still don’t know the difference between H2O and CO2.” Wide green eyes pleaded with Jen. “Please help me. I’ll carry your books. Wash your clothes. Anything.”

Initially taken aback, Jen couldn’t say no to the other girl. After that day, they met several times a week, going over and over the lessons from class. “You’re amazing at this,” Georgie would shake her head and say. “You should be a chemist or someŹthing.”

Jen hadn’t really thought about what she would do eventually. She used to think that she wanted to be a veterinarian, until her dog got hit by a car and her parents had to have him put to sleep.

“How about a pharmacist?” Having just walked back from the library, they were waiting for the elevator that would take them to their rooms.

“A pharmacist?” Jen wrinkled her nose. “Sounds kind of dull.”

Georgie shrugged and laughed. “Oh, like you’re just oozing excitement, eh farm girl?”

“I told you —” Jen began heatedly as they began the short elevator ride upstairs.

“I know, I know,” Georgie waved her off. “You’ve never even been on a farm.”

“Actually I was once.” She motioned the other girl to follow her as she stepped out into the hallway of her floor. “I walked beans when I was ten or eleven.”

“You walked beans?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged as they stopped just outside of Jen’s room while she unlocked the door.

Georgie began to laugh, clutching her long unruly hair and tossing it over her shoulder. “Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You walk the beans?”

“Yeah. So what?” Jennifer glared at the shorter girl as they entered her room. They both dumped their books on the bed.

“What do you do?” Georgie grinned. “Put a little collar on them and drag them around?”

Jennifer grimaced, the butt of yet another of Georgie’s jokes. “Very funny. Walking beans means walking up and down the rows and pulling the weeds.”

“Yuck,” Georgie blanched. “Physical labor. Sounds backbreaking.”

Jen felt somehow vilified, admitting that it was. They decided to go out for pizza, and Georgie poked around the room while Jennifer changed her clothes.

“Is this your girlfriend?” Georgie held up Sheila’s graduation photo.

“Huh?” Jen’s eyes flew to the picture and back to Georgie several times while her cheeks turned bright red.

Georgie raised one eyebrow. “I mean is she your girlfriend. Your lover. You know.”

Jennifer’s jaw dropped. How did Georgie know? Was Sheila her lover? They had never given it that name before. And they had certainly never mentioned it to anyone else.

“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Georgie misinterŹpreted Jennifer’s reaction and scowled as she placed the photograph back on the bureau.

“No,” Jen assured her. “It’s not that. I just … Well, yeah. I guess she’s my girlfriend.” She smiled down at the other girl. “I’ve just never said it before.”

“You never said it before?”

Jen shook her head. “How did you know? I’ve never told anybody.”

“Oh, you know,” Georgie shrugged. “I have a lot of gay friends,” she winked. “It takes one to know one. Got it?”

Jennifer stared at the other girl, not quite comŹprehending. She had never heard anyone say that they had gay friends before. In fact, the only times she had heard the word gay was when one of the kids referred to Charlie Little back home. The word was usually coupled with the words queer and faggot, and while Jennifer had some vague ideas about what the terms meant, she only really knew that she didn’t want those words associated with her — parŹticularly when Sheila made a point of saying that she didn’t want anyone to think they were queer.

“There’re actually quite a few gay bars around here that we go to all the time,” Georgie was saying. “Have you ever been to any of them? I could take you there.”

Jennifer felt as though a thick fog was settling around her, like she was struggling to see through it but wasn’t quite able to. Her mind reacted slowly, grinding through the information instead of sifting through it quickly.

“Gay bars?” Jennifer plopped down on the bed, spilling her schoolbooks to the floor.