City of Burning Shadows (Apocrypha: The Dying World) (22 page)

I clung to thoughts of Seana. Of Amelia. Of Spark. My anchors, the people depending on me, my connections to this world.

It was enough.

I gasped my first breath in what felt like hours. I opened my eyes on a room just as dark as it had been when Micah had attacked. Was the shadow still here, invisible? I scrambled to my feet, shocked at how well my body still worked. Even the parts of me I’d been certain were bruised or broken moved with painless ease.

All to the good. I ran out into the street. Was the creature near? Would I see it? Feel it?
 

The chill breeze out of the desert made me startle and spin. Shadowy movement in a derelict truck could have been a trick of my eyes or something more sinister. I stumbled over a ridge of sand, almost fell. There’d been two of the creatures—one in Syed and one in Micah. If there were two, could there be more? A dozen, a hundred, a thousand? Was the night air full of shadows, invisible and unknown as they—

With an effort of will, I dragged my thoughts back in line. Working myself into a terrified frenzy wouldn’t do anyone any good. I forced myself to slow down, to listen, to watch. To try to calm down, even if I couldn’t see what lingered in the darkness or hear over the terrified pounding of my heart.

I still had the gun in my hand. The gun I’d used to shoot my friend. I wanted to throw it away, except I didn’t dare. I dropped it in a pocket in my robe and zipped the pocket closed.
 

I made it back to the bike. Where, if the creature was smart, it would be waiting. Walking up to the bike, throwing one leg over it and turning my back on whatever floated in the darkness behind was the hardest thing I’d ever done.

The lights came on. The engine woke. I leaned forward and raced away as fast as I could make it go.

I couldn’t make it back to Amelia’s. A drive across Miroc in the dark—my nerves wouldn’t be able to take it. But the Crescent was close. And Seana—I wanted to see her. Needed to see her. To touch her. To know she was still alive. To know that I was.

All the ride there, I never looked back. I couldn’t bear the thought of what might be behind me watching.

#

Seana had left some sort of instruction with the guards. As soon as I came in sight of the checkpoint, an escort appeared and brought me straight to her apartment.
 

“Ash!” Seana met me at the door, grabbed my shoulders, studied my face. “What happened?”

I studied hers. Looked for any traces of darkness in her eyes. I still didn’t know where the thing had gone, but now I knew how to look for them. Now I’d felt the hollowness of Micah with the shadow inside him. Seana I knew, knew so well, and when I focused on the core of her, I saw only her. No invading monsters. “I’m all right. I think.” Gods be praised, her eyes were as clear as ever.

“You’re shaking.”
 

“Micah…there were two…” I was shaking. And cold. I’d stopped moving, made it to a safe place, and suddenly everything was closing in.
 

Seana’s lips moved, but I couldn’t hear what she said. My head pounded. The cold—so much cold—closed in around me. The edges of the room went gray.

“Ash!” Seana’s hands around mine, squeezing hard enough to hurt. An anchor outside my head, outside the fear trying to smother me.

I managed one deep breath. Then another. Then another. “I’m all right,” I said. I thought I said.

“You’re not.” Seana took my arm and led me over to the living room, easing me past the hedge-walls and down the steps. She sat me on a black couch that looked all sharp angles and solid surfaces, but turned out to be soft and comfortable. “Stay here.”

I didn’t want to let go of her hand. She squeezed my fingers, then eased them free of her own. “I’ll be right back. I promise.”

I kept breathing. I leaned my head back against the leafy wall and closed my eyes and focused on air coming in and air going out. What was wrong with me? I’d held it together through the attack. I’d held it together through my escape. I got away. I was safe. I was fine.

Seana returned with a warm mug she pushed into my hands. Coffee, fresh and hot. She sat down next to me and I opened my mouth to speak without knowing what was going to come out.

“Micah’s dead.”

She nodded, took it in stride. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever even mentioned Micah, if she had any way to know who he was. “I couldn’t save him.”

She nodded again. Letting me talk. Which I did.

Everything that had happened tonight. The magic, how we’d found Syed. Micah and Iris and I going after him. Micah getting taken—somehow, at some point between us leaving P&B and confronting Syed.
 

Her eyes narrowed as I described the shadow attacking me. Fury—as clear as any emotion I’d ever seen in her. It warmed me to see someone else angry on my behalf. I was still working my way past terrified. But as I talked, the coffee warmed me. The shaking stopped. I felt more myself. Not relaxed, not yet, but closer to functional.

“I should call Amelia,” I said, once I’d run out of story. “She needs to know…” I didn’t want to finish that sentence. Didn’t know how. What could I tell Amelia, except that I’d failed, Micah was dead, and Iris was…Iris was…

Seana handed me her wireless. “Call her. Check in. Tell her you’re staying the night. I don’t want you back out on the street right now.”

I didn’t want to be out there either. I dialed Amelia’s number.
 

“Price residence.” I recognized the voice.

“Vivian? It’s Ash.”

“Ash! Hold on. I’ll get Amelia.”

Bustling sounds in the background. Muffled voices. Then Amelia. Calm and cautious. “Ash, where are you?”

“Up in the Crescent, with Seana. It seemed safer.” The bright, well-lit Crescent. I still didn’t know for sure the shadows had trouble in bright light, but it still gave me comfort. “Have you heard from Iris?”

“She’s here.”

Relief flooded through me, draining away a great deal of my remaining tension. Left me wrung out. “Good. That’s good. Did she tell you what happened?”

“She said Micah didn’t make it. And that she left you struggling with one of the monsters.”

A jolt of understanding ran through me, why Amelia sounded so cool. What she must be thinking. “It’s me. It’s still me.” Except how was I supposed to prove that to her? “I fought it off. Magic—that really is the key. It almost killed me, but I got away.”

Silence on her end. How could I blame her for being suspicious?

“Ask me anything. I swear to you, it’s still me.”

I could hear her breathing over the line as she thought. Then softly, she asked, “What was my last advice to you this afternoon before you left the house?”

I looked up at Seana, next to me, saw the worry in her eyes, felt the warm drink in my hand. “Never to waste a moment.”

Amelia sighed. “Don’t—dammit, Ash, don’t do that to me again.”

I wished I could make that promise. “There’s two of them out there, Amelia. At least. I don’t know…I don’t know what to do.”

“Talk to Director Seana. See what progress they’re making. If we can just make it rain…”

That was the key. The key to all of this. I didn’t know if the shadows would just go away once the satellite was working, but it would certainly remove their incentive to be hunting all of us. “I’ll check back in tomorrow. Once the sun’s up.”

“See that you do.” Amelia hung up.

I gave the handset back to Seana. She took it. She took the now empty coffee mug from my hands and said, “Come to bed, Ash.”

#

I followed Seana up to the bedroom. It was surreal to think I’d been here just this morning. So much had happened.
 

So much still to think about. “I don’t know how to keep safe from these things. If there are more than Syed—if they can be anywhere. Or anyone—”

“Stop.” Seana turned, her expression as serious as she’d been when I’d first walked into her office. “You do no one any good by working yourself back into a panic.”

“I’m not. I won’t.” The nervous energy had mostly drained away, although I was still too keyed up to sleep. “I’m just thinking about—”

She waited, and inwardly I cursed. Too many stories. Too many secrets to keep straight. I’d been thinking about Spark. Out of our sight, with her only protection being the fact none of the creatures knew where she was. At least, I hoped that was still true.

Secrets under secrets, and I was in over my head. Maybe we all were. With the shadows able to pick us off one by one unless we could figure out how to defend against them. We were fractured, divided by cross purposes.
 

But only on the surface. In the end, didn’t we all want to save Miroc? Maybe to save the world?

I had to take a chance. The second risk I’d leapt into tonight. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

She shook her head, took a step back. “Stop. I can see in your eyes—you’re afraid. You’re shaken. Don’t seek confession or betray a confidence you’ll regret.”

“It’s not that.” I moved to her, took her hands. “Or it is that, but not like you’re thinking. What I’m telling you, it’s because I trust you and because I think we’re all on the same side, even if we don’t realize it.”

Seana didn’t pull away, but led me over to the bed. She waved her hand at a panel on the wall and the bright overhead lights extinguished, leaving us with a soft green glow of panels behind the flowers that covered the walls. “Be careful, Ash. I can’t stop being who I am, what I am. I have other loyalties that I can’t ignore.”

First, last, always. Seven years ago, that had seemed so terrible. “I understand. Whatever you do, I’ll understand. But this—this is too important. You’ll see it the same as I do.” I hoped.

She nodded, her face a mask of caution. “Tell me.”

“Your satellite. Eddis’s technology. I know where it came from.”

I waited for a reaction. Seana gave me none. If she was surprised, she hid it well. But then, this was a woman who lived her life in the midst of corporate intrigue. For all I knew, she was used to finding out her secrets weren’t really secrets.
 

So I dropped the real bomb. “The Fyean who invented it—I know where she is.”

A tiny intake of breath, that was all I got. It was enough. I’d surprised her. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because we both want the satellite to work. We both want to make it rain. Your scientists are having trouble fixing what the shadows broke. Spark could help.”

She stood abruptly, turned and walked away several steps. I couldn’t see her face. “We knew Jansynians were hunting her. It’s Desavris, isn’t it? It’s you.”

Seana nodded without looking back.

Time to lay it all out. “My job has been to keep her safe from you. But all that was before we knew anything about Syed or the rest of his monsters. Everything’s changed, and I’m pretty sure the best hope—the only hope any of us have is to all work together.”

She stood quiet for a long time. Finally she asked, “What do you want from me?”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

A Gamble

For the first time in days, I saw a clear way through all our problems. “Let Spark help you. Let her fix what’s broken. She doesn’t want to take it from you—she just wants to see her invention become real. There’s no reason to keep hunting her. She’s no threat.”

Seana still wouldn’t look at me. I gave her time. It was a lot to work through.
 

The one thing I was sure of was that she wouldn’t be upset with me for keeping this secret. It was my job and she knew it and she respected that. Of course, if she decided it was still her job to find Spark, to use any means at her disposal to do so…things could go very bad for me.

But Seana had always been smart—smarter than me. And no one rose to the position of director within a Jansynian corporation without being able to see things from multiple angles.
 

“You put a great deal of faith in me, telling me this.”

She couldn’t see me nod, so I said, “I know.”

“I could have you interrogated. Drag her location from you.”

I swallowed. Held my voice steady. “I know.”

Another long pause. A silence so deep I could hear my own heart beating.

“This Fyean—Spark—she’s central to this project. Without her, it’s unlikely we would sort out Eddis’s sabotage in time to save the city.” Seana turned back to face me. “I believe we can work together on this.”

It made sense, and I’d expected she would see that, but—all right, yes, I was relieved. “Tonight, we should start—”

Seana touched her fingers to my lips to silence me. She shook her head. Her fingers trailed lightly up my cheek, then over my hair. “Not tonight. You’re exhausted. It’s too dangerous out there in the dark. Spark has stayed hidden this long. Better not to risk leading one of the creatures to her.”

I closed my eyes, leaned into her hand. Her words were sweet temptation. “We don’t know how much time we have.”

“Miroc won’t die tomorrow.” Her voice went low, soft. “And I want this. Tonight. I want
you
.”

I understood the desperation that simmered beneath her words because I felt the same urgency. I’d nearly died tonight. Tomorrow I’d be facing the same threat. So far, I’d been lucky, standing against monsters out of legend that I still didn’t fully understand. Who knew how long my luck would hold?

I wanted her too, this strange, brilliant woman. I needed to tell her that. “I’ll stay.”

She nodded and reached for the drawstring tie at the collar of my over-robe. I put my hand over hers, held it there, looked straight into her eyes.
“I’ll stay.”

She closed her eyes and let out her breath. Her shoulders fell the slightest bit. “Don’t,” she whispered. Opened her eyes to meet mine. “No promises. Not now. Not till this is over.”

Last night, she’d been the one asking for promises. But last night we hadn’t understood the true nature of our foe, hadn’t realized the enormity of what we were up against. Last night we hadn’t realized how close to hopeless our situation was.

Seana pushed me back onto the bed, moved her hands to my shoulders to hold me down, and leaned over me. “Be with me, Ash, right here, right now. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.”