Read Chronicles of a Serial Dater - Book 4: A New Adult Romantic Comedy Online
Authors: Adele Huxley,Savan Robbins
Chronicles of a Serial Dater - Book 4: A New Adult Romantic Comedy
This book is work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. This book contains explicit material and is intended for readers 18 years or older.
The author acknowledges the copyrighted or trademarked status and trademarked owners of any wordmarks mentioned in the following fiction.
Copyright ©
2016 by Adele Huxley
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages embodied in critical articles or in a review.
All requests should be forwarded to:
[email protected]
Chronicles of a Serial Dater
is a series of 7 short stories designed to keep you laughing all summer long, with a new release nearly every week. Mark your calendars with these dates!
Bonus online content will also be released with each addition, adding to the interactive fun! Be on the lookout for any chapter ending with this image:
Believe it for not, all the dates, conversations, and horror stories in this series are real. Readers just like you were kind enough to share their funniest and worst dates for our entertainment. At least something good came out of them! So if you’re reading these and at any point think, “Come on now, this is too ridiculous,” just remember…
The truth is always stranger than fiction, and nothing is stranger than online dating.
You can still get in on the fun! If you have a funny/bad/horrible date you’d like to share, or even some hilarious online conversations, email me at
[email protected]
with the subject “SUBMISSION”
I was acutely aware I was standing at a fork in the road. I could turn one way and diffuse the argument altogether, which would probably only delay it. Or I could turn the other direction and press on. I chose the latter. I stubbornly, defiantly, decided to really let Anette have it for once.
My ears rang. I’m not the greatest with confrontation but knew I’d dug myself into this hole. To back down now would mean admitting I’d done something wrong. I thought to change tactics and maybe throw a little water on the fire of this argument.
“It’s not a horrible name at all. I actually like it,” I replied smugly, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Right. Okay. Cause that’s the point we should be discussing. The name of the your secret blog.”
“Whatever. I don’t see what the big deal is,” I replied. “It’s not like I’ve done anything wrong. All these dates have been weird, bizarre, and downright strange to me. I couldn’t vent to you because you wouldn’t understand or maybe even care outside of telling me ‘Welp, just swipe right, onto the next one. Off you go!’”
“That’s exactly what Lourdes said,” Anette huffed.
I lost my cool. “You talked about this with Lourdes?”
Anette leaned forward and got in my face. “You sent both of us the link. What? Did you think we wouldn’t read it or something?”
I shrugged dismissively. “Maybe a little. At the very least, I didn’t expect you to go digging.”
“And I didn’t expect you to fuck one of my best friends behind my back,” she snapped.
The way she felt she had any sense of ownership over my life burned the last shred of control I had. My voice grew in volume as the argument carried on.
“You’re right. We shouldn’t have done it behind your back.” She muttered in agreement before I could finish my thought. “I should’ve fucked him right in front of you. Since you seem so into giving me advice and running my life, you could’ve lifted and lowered me on his cock like a little puppet. I’m sure you could do it better, right?”
“
Pfft
, I’m a lesbian.”
I arched an eyebrow, jabbing a hole in the armor. “Are you?”
Anette licked her lips as she rose to the challenge. “Why don’t you ask the gorgeous girl I’m about to screw all night?”
“Eating one salad doesn’t make you a vegetarian,” I shot back. I wasn’t sure where all the anger was coming from. The way my comments were coming harsh and fast seemed to surprise the both of us. She stared at me in surprise and before she could snap back, I pushed even harder.
“You know what, Anette? Not all of us get to ride that perfect dating roller coaster like you. Except, no. Yours has become a carnival of booty calls, jumping from bed to bed, gender to gender, changing partners to match your outfits. I’m having a little more trouble than you.”
“Are you about finished?” Anette turned her nose up in the air and held up her hand, palm out, counting out her points on each finger. “Okay for one thing, what the fuck are you saying? You calling me a hoe or something? You make it seem like I am fuckingeverydamnbody and you know good and damn well that’s not the case. But you’re looking at me? Look at you! What the hell are you doing out there? Just handing out pussy handshakes to everybody? You might as well advertise that shit on your little blog. ‘Friendly vagina, inquire within! I have milkshakes, come to my yard!’
“And two, it’s sad that you’re so jealous that I have the guts to do what I want and who I want. Don’t you pin your hang-ups on me. You could do that shit too if you had the lady balls to do it. Don’t hate the player,” she added with a flick of her hand. “Oh, and if you need sex tips, don’t come looking for me. I’m not teaching you shit.”
A thick cloud of emotion grew in the room, the silence almost deafening compared to our loud voices only a moment before. We were lost in the fog of our first major fight and neither of us knew how to find our way out.
Anette stared at her feet, her words sweet but her tone still heated. “All you had to do was tell me. I would’ve understood.”
She might’ve been trying to reach a hand out to me, but it felt far from genuine. “Right. Cause you’re so understanding right now.”
“You lied to me!”
I pointed a finger in her face, mostly to keep from slapping her. “How the hell do you figure, Anette? How exactly did I lie? Oh, by simply not sharing every damn detail of my life with you?” I shook my head sadly, chewed on a harsh comment, and rephrased it a little so it came out softer. “And you talking about honesty is hilarious. You can’t even admit to yourself how you feel about that girl in there. You don’t have the guts to.”
She stuffed her hands in her pockets and glanced down the hall toward her bedroom. “That’s not what we’re talking about. You didn’t tell me…”
“I didn’t have to tell you anything and I still don’t. This is
my
life. Again with the puppeteering. Let go of my damn strings!”
“That’s the second time you’ve said that. Puppet strings? Are you kidding?”
“It’s what it feels like!”
“You were a puddle of depressed, Kevin-obsessed goop only a few months ago. Forgive me for wanting you to be happy.”
“And forgive me for thinking I might be better at planning and living my own life than you,” I drawled sarcastically. “Exhibit A.” I pointed toward her room where her dream girl sat waiting.
“So this is all part of your master plan? You can screw whoever you want but I apparently need your permission to get down with someone I like?”
“
Whomever.
”
“Are you seriously correcting my grammar right now?” Anette scoffed.
A timid voice broke through our shouts somehow. “Anette? I think I’m gonna go.” Anette and I turned in unison to see Amie standing near the front door. She held her arm at the elbow and smiled apologetically.
Anette circled the sofa quickly, her voice softening instantly. “No! No, you don’t have to do that. It’s fine. We’re just working out roommate stuff.”
“Roommate,” she repeated, looking over to me. “Sounds a little more serious than who hasn’t been doing dishes.”
I realized she might’ve misconstrued our conversation. “It’s complicated,” I started to say before Anette shot me a death glare.
“Amie. Boo. Why don’t we both go to bed? We can talk about it in there.”
She shook her head and stepped around Anette’s advances. “I don’t think so. Sorry. Have a good night.”
Anette stared at the closed door for a few moments after she left. With a momentary melting of my anger, I softly spoke up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
She wheeled around on me, her expression contorted with fury. “You’re sorry? Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to get that girl back here and because of you…”
“Because of
me?
I’m not the one who picked a fight!”
She pressed her lips together in a frown. “You’re absolutely right, of course. You’re just the one fucking Zach and telling the whole world
except
your best friend and roommate. I’m obviously the one at fault here.”