Choices will Destroy (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 14) (24 page)

“You haven’t really forgiven me, have you?” Livy asked. “When I showed up and hurt you, it wasn’t intentional.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You have to talk about it. It’s ruining our friendship, and the longer it festers, the worse it’ll get.”

“You’re full of it, Livy. It’s fine. You’ll let it go if you know what’s good for you.”

“Or what, Elizabeth? Will you kick my ass?”

She stared straight ahead, refusing to be baited into an argument. Her mood was fraying.

Livy knew she needed to try a different route. Arguing with Elizabeth was like banging your head on a brick wall.

It got you nowhere but a trip to the ER with a concussion.

“Can you please pull into this coffee shop? I’m hungry, and if I don’t get caffeine soon, I’m going to yank all that hair out of your head.”

Elizabeth glanced over. “Frustrated? Welcome to my world. We all can’t run when the going gets tough.”

She stared at her, not shocked that the animosity was finally showing up. This had been fifteen years in the making. “Take your shots, Elizabeth. You certainly earned them.”

“You’re damn right I did,” Elizabeth said, erupting. “I had your back, Livy. I had it to the end. I killed a man to save you from going to court. I was there for you when you needed me, and you shit all over our friendship.”

“This has been bothering you a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, fifteen years, four days, and six hours,” she said, glancing down at her watch. “I’ve been living a farce to keep the peace, and it’s pissing me off!”

“Well, that says it all. It looks like someone has been keeping time on this one.”

“It says nothing. In my opinion, it’s well past time that someone told you off. You ran, and I get why, but you pushed me out. Our friendship has been drifting since that day. You call me your best friend, but we’re not even close to being okay.”

“You’re right. I’ve been a horrible friend. You deserve better.”

She stopped. “I hate when you do that. I can’t be mad if you tell me I’m right. I wanted you to argue with me so I can get my mad on and tell you off.”

“I know,” she said, “but it’s still the truth. I was a horrible friend. He raped me, and I pulled away. I blamed you.”

It was like a slap.

Fifteen years later, it still stung.

“I see.”

“You wanted the truth, so here it is. I did blame you for not getting there in time, and it was wrong. It took me years to understand that I hated the wrong person. I should have directed all that loathing at me, not you. When I called you that night, you came running. All these years, I was hiding behind Gabe while you were out here, on your own, trying to find justice for people like me. I did run and hide. You’re absolutely right.”

She didn't say a word.

Instead, she stared at the woman beside her.

“That night, I hid too. If I was out there with you, working the case, he wouldn’t have gotten me. I’m not as strong as you are, Elizabeth. Yes, we tied for first at the academy, but we all know you’re the better agent. I walked. You stayed. There’s your proof of which one of us is a pussy.”

“I ran too. After Ray, I left.”

“And you came back. That’s a testament to your courage. I’ve always been afraid since that night. I hid behind my husband, and frankly, I don’t want to hide anymore.”

Elizabeth had two choices.

She could be angry or she could forgive.

It was a no-brainer. She thought about her life since becoming a Blackhawk.

She took the higher road.

Elizabeth took Livy’s hand in hers. “If you want the truth, I blame me too, and I have for years, Livy. I didn't stop him from hurting my partner. I failed.”

Livy hugged her. “You did your job. You broke the law for me, and I didn't deserve your friendship.”

It was time.

“Amy isn’t Gabriel’s child.”

Livy dropped the bomb.

Elizabeth feigned shock. “What?” she asked, trying to play along, but it wasn’t easy.

Livy’s mouth dropped open. “Oh. My. God!”

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

She was horrible at lying and here was the proof.

“Livy…”

“Don’t even go there! You’re full of it. You knew!” Livy accused. “I’ve known you a long time, and that’s not how you’d react. Gabe had to have told you!”

Here’s where it got tricky.

The problem with being both their friends was that she was in the middle. Her loyalty was torn in two.

It sucked.

“Yes, he did. About twenty minutes ago, right after I cried in a conference room, he told me. I think my pregnancy hormones and tears scared him shitless.”

She didn't doubt that at all. “It’s okay. We never made a promise not to tell. We just never knew how to bring it up.”

“You can tell me now,” Elizabeth offered. It was her way of offering the olive branch. She wanted to fix their friendship.

“I wanted an abortion. The second I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't think I could do it. I know that’s horrible to say, but it’s the truth. I wanted to kill my own child.”

“Why didn't you?” she asked, running her hand over her own baby. He was swimming happily in the goo, being a fetus.

“Gabriel is the reason. We weren’t sure who the father was. I’d just started having sex with him, and then I was raped. There was a fifty-fifty chance Gabe was the father.”

She listened.

“He wouldn’t let me. He told me we weren’t killing the child, and if it was Seamus O’Brien’s, she still deserved life. Now I see why. You killed her father, and he was trying to give her a chance. Gabe was balancing the scale of justice.”

He had been.

One life for another.

“Well, he was wrong. He is Amy’s father. Gabe may not have given up the goods, but he walked the walk, and in the end, that’s all that matters.”

She smiled. “Yeah, he did.”

“It hurt not being at your wedding.”

“I know. It hurt not having you there. I knew that Gabe wanted you by our side, but I was scared. I just took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. Our first thought was to cover our trail. We didn't want the world talking, especially since we both knew that he’d be director one day.”

“I get it.”

“Do you?”

“No. I think you were a bitch.”

She laughed. “There’s my Lyzee. Can you forgive me for hurting you?” she asked. “Can you forgive me for bailing on you and leaving you to clean up the mess? Gabe and I didn’t know that the other agents targeted you. Had we, there is no way we would have bailed on you.”

“I forgive you, and that’s water under the bridge.” Only, it wasn’t. Ethan had been one of those assholes. She needed to work on forgiving that.

If she could.

“I know I don’t deserve it.”

“You don’t, and that’s why you’re going to buy me breakfast. I want a bagel with extra cream cheese.”

She grinned. “You’re a cheap date.”

Elizabeth punched her in the arm. “Funny, you aren’t the first person to tell me that.”

Together, they took a break.

They were going to need it.

       
         
* * *
  B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x   * * *

FBI Building

Autopsy

Callen, while his partners were working, was digging up any information he could for Elizabeth. When she returned, there was no doubt in his mind that she was going to need something.

This case had the potential to blow up in her face. Callen had seen the conference highlights on the news.

Of course, they were mostly focused on Elizabeth’s personal life.

It was irritating as hell.

As he sat there, waiting on hold to corroborate the agent’s information, he noticed Chris kept glancing over at him.

It was as if he wanted to talk.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did you find something?”

“Yeah, our dead agent had sex right before the killer took his life.”

“Oh, well, that might work to our advantage. Swab him and see if we can trace the fluids.”

There was a pause.

“Just spill it, Chris.”

“Uh, I can’t do a test for vaginal secretion.”

Callen hung up his cell. He could call them back. He was pretty sure he knew what the doctor was saying. “Are you talking…?”

“Yeah, I am. There’s trace, and redness.”

“Okay, stop. This is one conversation where my imagination is fine with just picturing it. I don’t need a walkthrough of his anatomy.”

Chris laughed. “That’s funny since you have a threesome.”

“I don’t receive, and neither does Ethan. Elizabeth is the one who does that.”

He started laughing.

“Shit! I just fell for it, didn't I?”

“Yep. You know, it’s easy to get details from you. I almost feel horrible doing it. It’s like stealing candy from a big Native baby.”

Callen gave him a look. “Don’t make me tell her you’re being mean to her injured Indian. She’ll flip her shit all over you.”

He was well aware.

“So, our dead agent had sex with a man. Was he raped? We are dealing with a killer, so maybe he got off before he hacked him apart.”

Chris thought about it. When he went to examine the dead man’s rectum, Callen started laughing. “Your job sucks.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. With all this glory, I don’t know how I don’t have a huge ego.”

After a few seconds, Chris shook his head. “It was consensual or he was dead. There’s no tearing. I’d be willing to put money on the first one, since Director Donnelly didn't have any sign of sexual assault.”

“Do you want me to let Elizabeth and Ethan know?” he asked.

“Yes, can you? I need a coffee. If I don’t get a break, I’m going to weep. My leg is killing me.”

Callen pulled out his phone. “I’ll make the call and get you some caffeine, Chris. You just put the agent away.”

“Bless you.”

“Consider it payback for taking care of our girl.”

He grinned. “It was my pleasure.”

Callen headed out. He had news, and they were going to find this interesting.

       
         
* * *
  B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x   * * *

Caroline O’Brien’s

Home

When they knocked on the door, they were hoping for the best possible outcome. At this rate, they needed a break in the case, and the family might be the only way to get it.

As soon as the woman opened her door, they knew they were screwed. The look on her face said it all.

She was angry.

The blonde had a scowl a mile wide, and it was aimed at Elizabeth.

“You! What do you want?”

“We need to ask you some questions about your brother, Ms. O’Brien.”

“I have nothing to say to you! Seamus was a victim of a homicide, and the FBI brushed him aside as if he was nothing more than yesterday’s trash! You let the victims down, Agent. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Actually, it’s director,” Elizabeth corrected. She knew coming there that this was a possibility. She couldn’t blame the woman. After all, from the outside, it looked like they didn't care.

Only, she did.

More than they’d ever know.

“We still need to talk to you,” Livy stated, trying to act as a buffer between Elizabeth and this woman. A part of her wanted to be sick as she stared at her.

Caroline O’Brien looked like her brother.

Livy felt ill even being this close to her.

“I can’t imagine what you need to discuss. My brother was walking home and murdered by the serial killer. Maybe we should discuss how no one cared and that they let some green agent handle the case.”

Well, someone had been watching the news.

“Why did your brother move to DC?” Elizabeth asked, ignoring the not-so-veiled shots to her ego.

There was a pause, as if she was debating on answering or slamming the door in their faces.

Then, she made her decision.