“Yeah, you're right, you were. The fucked up thing is that you didn't love me back. Excuse me.” Carmen walked off, leaving Tameka behind.
She wanted to cry. She couldn't believe what she just did; Tameka was trying and she was being a total bitch about it. She quickly turned around, but Tameka was gone. She took a deep breath. Maybe it was fate that Tameka wasn't still standing there. Carmen realized she was about to make a big mistake. She headed toward her room; suddenly she didn't want to do anything but go home.
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Denise pushed the button for the fourth floor, the cancer floor at St. Francis Hospital. As the lights from each floor brightened, she felt more knots in her stomach. The door opened onto a long hallway with rooms filled with the elderly, all with cancer, all living their last days in a small hospital room. She fought back the tears as she headed to room 416.
She opened the door to see her grandmother lying in the bed, watching
Oprah
. There were new tubes in her arm and new machines were hooked up to the most important person in her life.
Her grandmother looked at her and smiled. “Girl, stop looking like that and come watch Oprah with me.” Her grandmother's smile brightened as Denise walked toward the bed.
“Okay, Mema.”
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Denise had always called her grandmother Mema. Her grandmother had raised her to be the woman she was today. Denise's mother left her with her grandmother after her father left for another woman. They never had much, but she never lacked for love.
She sat down in the chair next to her grandmother and began to watch
Oprah
with her.
She would never forget the scariest day of her life. She came to visit her grandmother, only to find her unconscious in her favorite chair. They made it to the hospital in time to find out that she was in diabetic shock. They were able to get her conscious, and she overcame that obstacle, only to find out she had cancer. Her grandmother decided that, at 86 years old, she didn't want to go through any more surgeries, and the doctors agreed it wasn't a good idea.
They gave Mema three months to live, but to their surprise almost a year had passed, and she was still alive. It wasn't until two weeks before school started that she was taken back to the hospital, when Denise's mother noticed her grandmother wasn't breathing well. She had been in the hospital ever since. Denise knew it was only a matter of time, and the thought of losing her Mema brought tears to her eyes.
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“So, how is school, Dede?” Mema asked her.
Denise quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.
“It's cool. Basketball season is starting real soon.”
“Yeah, I know. So, how is your roommate?”
“She's cool.”
“Okay with your life?”
Denise had told Mema about her lifestyle when she was sixteen years old. Mema told her that she already knew and that it didn't matter to her. Denise's own mother didn't take it that well.
“Yeah, she's cool with it. No beef or anything.”
Denise was trying to hide the emotion in her voice, but Mema knew something was wrong.
“Dede, girl, stop all that now. You got to be strong, sweetie.” Mema held her hand out for Denise to grab it.
Denise immediately started to cry. “Mema, I can't make it without you.”
“Girl, you can too; you are strong, and you got that from me. What did you think? An eighty-seven year-old woman was going to live forever?” Mema smirked.
Denise just looked at her.
“Sweetie, you are my pride and joy, and I want you to understand that whenever the Good Lord tells me it's my time to come, I will be up there watching over you until you come and join me.”
Denise stood up and kissed her grandmother on her head.
The door opened, and a tall, skinny woman in a sweat suit walked in. The woman was very frail, but distinctive features showed that Denise was the spitting image of her mother.
Tammy had left Denise with Mema when she was born. She was addicted to the fast life, and she opted to let her mother take care of her newborn baby instead of her ruining her life.
Denise never had any real feelings toward her mother. The only thing she could do was thank her for giving birth to her and giving her to Mema.
“Hey, baby,” Tammy said to Denise.
Denise wondered what her mother's motives were when she first started to come around. Her first thought was that it was because she didn't want to be left out of the will, but she had to give her mother credit. She did help take care of Mema in the last few months, which was a big help to Denise because of school and basketball.
“Hey, Tammy,” Denise said. She always called her mother by her first name; she couldn't call someone something that they never were to her.
“How is school, baby?”
Tammy had recently started trying to reconnect with Denise, but it obviously was too late for her to form a real relationship with her daughter, so she tried the friend approach instead.
“It's cool.” Denise kissed Mema again. “Speaking of school, I've got to get back to campus. I'll be by this weekend, okay, Mema?”
“Sure, baby. See you later.”
Denise walked past her mother. She could tell she was expecting a hug, but did not give her one.
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Denise could hear music coming from her room. She opened the door to find Lena dancing around in a pair of boy shorts and a wife-beater. Denise had to stop herself from staring. She knew that Lena was off limits, but she couldn't ignore the butterflies she got when she looked at her roommate. She cleared her throat to get Lena's attention.
Lena turned around and smiled a smile that made Denise melt inside.
“Hey, girl. Where have you been?” Lena said as she grabbed a bottle of water.
“I went to see my grandmother.” Denise lay down on her bed. She was emotionally drained from her visit.
“Oh, are you all right?” Lena turned the music down and sat in the chair next to her roommate. “Anything I can do?” Lena had never seen so much emotion in her roommate. She looked at her in a new light; she wasn't completely hard and nonchalant, and there was one thing in the world that was breaking her down.
“Naw, I'll be okay. I just want to sleep for a while.”
Lena stood up and went to her bed; she grabbed her stuffed bear and handed it to Denise.
“Now, don't laugh, but whenever I'm down, I use Fluffy to feel better. You can squeeze, throttle, or hit him, and he will take it. So you just use Fluffy as much as you want to.” She smiled.
“Fluffy, huh? Okay, let's see if it works.” Denise wrapped her arms around Fluffy and sat up and looked at her roommate. “Thanks, Lena,” she said as she leaned over and gave her a forehead kiss.
Lena felt herself getting warm. “Oh, it's okay, I'm going to put some clothes on and leave you alone for a while.” Lena walked over to her bed and looked at Denise, who had laid back down and was hugging the teddy bear close.
Lena smiled as she grabbed her phone and took a quick snapshot of Denise sleeping. She stared at the picture for a minute, until a message popped up on her phone.
Missing you. Come over.
It was Brandon.
Lena grabbed her bag and headed out of the room.
Chapter 6
“I know you are not standing in front of my door,” Cooley said as she looked at Cynthia.
Cynthia smiled. “Cooley, don't be like that. I am really sorry about what happened. I was hoping we could let bygones be bygones.” She wrapped her arms around Cooley.
Cooley pushed her off of her. “You are buggin', for real. I ain't even going out like that, so you can really get away from my door.” Cooley went to close her door.
Cynthia wedged her body between the door. “Cooley, don't act like that. I really need you in my life!” Cynthia began to cry.
Cooley put her hand on Cynthia and pushed her from in between the door. “You are crazy. Now get away from my door!” Cooley slammed the door.
She heard Cynthia banging on the door with her hand and foot.
“Bitch, you can't just quit me like that! I don't know who the fuck you think you messing with!” Cynthia yelled as she beat on the door.
“Psycho bitch, get away from my door!” Cooley yelled from the other side.
“Fuck you! I ain't going nowhere!” Cynthia continued to bang on the door.
Cooley grabbed her phone. She knew what to do too. “Yo', can you come down here and handle some lightweight for me?” Cooley hung up the phone and lay on her bed.
The beating on the door stopped a few minutes later. Cooley heard two women yelling outside. She smiled, knowing what was about to happen.
A few minutes later she heard a lot of voices and a bang against her door. Cooley opened the door to see a girl on top of Cynthia, punching her in the face.
“Oh snap!” Cooley laughed as the girl with fuchsia hair continued to kick Cynthia's ass. Cooley waited a few seconds before pulling the girl off of her.
“Bitch, you better stay away from Cool from now on or Imma kick yo' ass again!” Cooley pulled the girl into her room, leaving Cynthia on the ground.
“Thanks, Rae-Rae,” Cooley said to Rasheeda.
Rasheeda smiled, her three gold teeth shining in the light. “No problem, yo'. Anytime.” Rasheeda hugged Cooley.
Rasheeda was Cooley's thug girl, the only girl that Cooley kept around for a long period of time. Rasheeda knew about Cooley and all of her various women; they were more like friends with benefits for special occasions.
Rasheeda looked at Cooley; she wanted to collect on some of her benefits.
“So, what's up, Cooley? Can you hook a girl up or what?”
Cooley really wasn't in the mood, but knew she should, since Rasheeda just took care of Cynthia. She walked up on Rasheeda and unbuttoned her pants. “How you want it, boo?”
“Raw style, Cooley. I don't need no head, I just want you to fuck the shit out of me real quick.”
Cooley laughed. “I don't do nothing quick,” she said as she bent Rasheeda over on the side of her bed. Cooley grabbed her man out of the drawer and strapped up. She put a condom on the dildo and headed over to Rasheeda.
She had to admit, Rasheeda had an ass that put Trina to shame. She smacked Rasheeda on her ass as she inserted her man into her wet pussy and grabbed on to her butt as she stroked her.
“Oh, Cool, hit it harder, baby.”
Cooley started to pump harder and harder. Cooley smacked her on the ass. She loved to watch her ass jiggle as she stroked her. She pumped harder as Rasheeda moaned for more.
“Shit, nigga, that's my shit!” Rasheeda yelled. “Ohhhh shit!” Rasheeda's body tensed up as she climaxed, covering Cooley's man with her cum.
Rasheeda stood up and pulled her pants up. She smiled at Cooley, flashing her golds again. “Holla at you later,” she said as she walked out the door.
Cooley laughed. That's the best thing she liked about Rasheedaâshe knew how to get her nut and roll.
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Carmen stood in front of the Chi Theta informational board. She admired the beauty and elegance that came with the Chi Theta name. Ever since high school she wanted to be in Chi Theta. There had never been another sorority for her. Hopefully next semester would bring her into the Chi Theta sisterhood.
“So you like the board?” Stephanie Williams, a senior and Chi Theta, walked up and asked her.
“Oh, yes it's beautiful.” She didn't want to seem too eager, but she also wanted to make sure she knew she was interested.
“So are you planning on going out for rush?”
Carmen knew how to answer this question. She had heard horror stories of women who let the sorority know they wanted to join, and they instantly would start receiving phone calls asking for all sorts of favors. The bad thing is, usually those girls didn't make it into the sisterhood.
“I haven't decided yet,” she said with ease, trying to sound unimpressed.
“Well, you should. Chi Theta's a wonderful sisterhood.” Stephanie walked away from her.
Carmen was hoping she left a good impression.
She heard her phone buzz.
The spot, 10
P
.M.
It was her secret lover. Butterflies started to form in her stomach. She had been waiting all day for that message and she finally got it. She headed back to her dorm to get ready for the night.
On the way to her dorm her phone rang. It was her mother.
“Hello, Mother. How are you?”
“I'm fine, Carmen, but I am wondering why I haven't heard from you in over two weeks.” Carmen's mother was very overprotective of her. She expected Carmen to check in every day.
“Mom, I have been busy, school is kicking my as . . . my butt”
“Oh really? Well, I hope you are doing good, and staying out of trouble.”
She knew her mother meant staying away from gay people. Carmen loved her mother and she had to admit that she was making progress, but she still had negative opinions of the gay community.
Carmen worked overtime to try to show her mother the positive side of the life. She joined positive groups in the community, but her mother considered it promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. When she volunteered at the children's hospital with a group of lesbian volunteers, her mother made it clear that she didn't have to volunteer with gay people. Why not just volunteer.
“I am doing fine; actually I was just looking at the Chi Theta information board.”
“Well, I hope you aren't promoting your lifestyle on campus. They will never accept you, if you are.” Her mother also thought that letting people know she was gay was a one-way ticket to never succeeding. Whenever Carmen didn't get a job, it was because she was gay. Her mother even pulled her rainbow sticker off of her car because she didn't want her advertising her lifestyle at their house.
“Okay, Mom. I have to go. I am heading into the library,” she lied. She just didn't like where the conversation was going.
“Oh, baby, good-bye.” She hung up from her mother mentally drained. She tried to not let her get to her, but it was habit.
She received another text.
Did you get the last message?
She smiled and typed.
Yes
. She knew what she was doing was a little forbidden, but she couldn't stop. She was actually happy and she didn't want it to end, so she couldn't tell Cooley or Denise. They would never let it go on. She headed up to her dorm room; she wanted to look very special for the night.