“
Speak out loud, please,” I demanded, crossing my arms. Colt grinned as his arm slid around my shoulder, and we sat down. I sighed and snuggled in. I was becoming sleepy as I listened to them talk about which direction to head tomorrow.
I sank lower into Colt, drifting off as the fire and his touch warmed me. It was easier to breathe, my chest didn’t ache anymore, and I could lie down without it being painful.
Soon it became quiet, and I let the heaviness take over, but not before something inside me stirred. For the briefest moment, a slight ache rippled through me, and a horrible dread came over me, but the weariness of sleep soon pushed it back.
Chapter 18
A faint rustling woke me, and I opened my eyes to see it was still dark. Colt was lying next to me in the tent, and I was still in his arms, but facing away. Callon was resting in front of me, face to face, but his eyes were closed. The tent was small, but it seemed more than a coincidence that he was this close. A feeling of impending danger swept over me. I elevated my head slightly; Daniel was on the other side of Callon. Something was going on.
The noise outside the tent made me glance toward the opening. It was closer this time. Lights were flickering. Why would they have a fire going if they were in here with me? Who was out there, and why weren’t they checking it out?
I was about to ask Colt when his arms tightened, and his long leg shifted over mine. He was bracing for something. What?
My heart began to pound. Callon’s eyes popped open. He was focused. I parted my lips to speak, but he pressed a finger to my lips. Movement at the tent door made me glance back again. The lights were getting brighter. They were dancing. Were these the same lights from before? If so, why were we lying here? Why weren’t we moving? Shouldn’t we be trying to get away?
Panic set in, and my breathing came in shallow gasps, but Callon’s fingers were still over my lips.
“
Cheyenne,” he mouthed. “Close your eyes. Don’t look at the lights. Colt won’t let go of you. Just keep your eyes closed.” He was trying to reassure me, but it was too late. I understood what he’d said, but I couldn’t close my eyes. I didn’t know if it was from panic, fear or…
The lights were in the tent now. They were brighter, more beautiful than I could imagine. My body began to tremble. Colt’s hold tightened, almost painful.
Callon didn’t speak, but his eyes showed me everything. I narrowed mine because of the brightness filling the tent, but instead of closing them, I watched in wonder. I couldn’t break my gaze from them. The reflections were dancing off Callon’s face. They began to cast shadows on the walls of the tent. It was as if a thousand twinkle lights were dancing in the night just for me.
The lights began to cluster together, becoming more frenzied. With each progression they jerked back and forth, brightening and moving closer.
I wanted to reach out and touch them, experience their sensation on my skin. They were mesmerizing. They fell upon me, and it was soft like whispering kisses. But soon it changed to a pinch, then a sting. In a matter of moments, the stinging sensation was all over my body.
Every inch of my skin was on fire. I was being yanked, tugged in two different directions. I wasn’t the one moving. I looked down on my body from above. I was thrashing in Colt’s arms! A force was attempting to drag me away, and there was nothing I could do.
Colt was holding on, desperately trying not to crush me. Callon was in full panic. His hands were holding my cheeks. He was screaming at me to close my eyes. My body didn’t respond. In sheer desperation, I watched him lunge his lips to mine.
He was kissing me; fervently kissing me, the way he said he’d wanted to that day in the meadow.
My eyes closed, and I felt his warm lips on mine, pushing, parting, pressing me closer. My heart burned, and I began to respond.
The moment Callon sensed me, he drew himself away. His fingers moved to my temples, placing his thumbs over my eyes.
“
Don’t open your eyes.”
I stopped thrashing, but then the shaking began. I felt clammy and ill. What had just happened?
Callon let go, and Colt flipped me around so my face was now pressed against his chest. I didn’t open my eyes. I was afraid of what I would see. My mind was wildly trying to grasp what had taken place. Fear seized my limbs, and I whimpered.
Callon, however, was not sympathetic. “You stupid girl!” he roared. “I told you to close your eyes! You just don’t get it, do you? We work so hard to keep you safe, and you can’t follow a simple instruction!”
I went from terror to anger in an instant. What right did he have to yell at me? I pushed with everything I had against Colt’s chest to flip around and answer.
“
Damn me!?” I screeched. “I asked you about the lights. I practically begged you to tell me about them, but all you could say was that it wasn’t important for me to know!” I was shaking, this time with fury. “Do you not trust me? Is that it? You think I’m just going to run off to the Sarac?”
Colt suddenly spoke up.
“
Cheyenne, Callon’s right. You need to start listening to us. I almost crushed you…”
“
Shut up, Colt!”
I attempted to get up, but he was holding tight. He grasped my wrists and pinned them to my side. If fire could have been thrown from my stare, Callon would have burned before me, and I wouldn’t have felt the slightest bit of remorse.
“
Cheyenne, calm down!” Colt snapped, his deep voice rumbling in my ears. He shoved me harshly against his chest. “We don’t have time to argue with you. You’re not going to win this one. We need to get moving before they come back. It’s only a matter of time before they find us again.”
He paused, inhaling deeply. In a softer tone he added, “I can’t have you wandering off. You need to stay put so we can pack. Are you going to listen to me?”
I didn’t reply, too angry to form words. Callon looked over my shoulder at Colt. In the next second Colt was on his feet, taking me with him. I was like a rag doll under his grasp as he ripped through the tent opening; my feet didn’t touch the ground.
“
Colt, let GO!”
In response he pinned my arms down with one hand as he thrust me to his side. I couldn’t move, his vice-like grip hurt my ribs, but my anger numbed the pain. Damn him if he thought he could handle me this way!
In no time, the horses were saddled and camp torn down. The tension was thick between us, but I didn’t care. I wanted nothing more to do with them.
When Callon and Daniel were finished, Colt gruffly hauled me to Sam. He shoved me into Callon’s waiting hands. I stumbled into him, while Colt mounted. Callon was no gentler as he threw me up to Colt. Colt caught me mid-air and set me in the saddle before him. He jerked his arm around the front to grab the reins and hit my injured ribs. A bolt of pain lanced up my side, and I gasped. He said nothing.
It was still dark, but they lost no time and entered into a full gallop, weaving in and out of the trees.
How dare they treat me like this! Like I would run away. Where would I go? We were out in the middle of nowhere. They constantly lectured me to trust them, but they wouldn’t even try to do the same! They only gave me information when it suited them.
I truly was a prisoner.
I sat in the saddle as rigid as possible; I wanted to keep my distance from Colt. Colt raised his arm higher and pushed me back into his chest. I knew it was easier to ride sitting back in the saddle, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to make anything easy for him right now. I sat forward again only to have his arm pin me back down.
“
Damn it, Cheyenne. Knock it off! I don’t want to hurt you.”
“
You should have thought of that earlier, Colt,” I snapped back.
“
If you would learn to control your temper, it would make it easier,” he said through gritted teeth.
“
If you would tell me of the dangers instead of leaving me in the dark, I wouldn’t lose my temper!”
He didn’t reply, and I said nothing more. I eyed Callon’s pack. I wasn’t even allowed to carry the journal myself. Were they afraid I’d run off with the one document I couldn’t even read? I remained against his chest, stewing about what just took place, the friction from the movement gnawing at my nerves. I didn’t think I was asking for much.
Instead of just saying, “Don’t go near the lights, or don’t look at them,” he could have said, “Don’t go near the lights. They’ll try and rip your soul apart! It’ll scare the crap out of you, and we may not be able to stop them!”
That wasn’t hard. I would’ve got the message…I think.
Then again, I wasn’t fond of being told what to do by
he who must be obeyed
. That day he’d warned me not to try to leave, I still did it. I placed myself in danger by leaving for the bank. I also couldn’t be patient for their return to get into my Jeep.
Would I have been any different about this? Would I have believed what they told me, or would I have dared to try and find out on my own?
No, it didn’t matter. If they’d been honest from the beginning, I could’ve gone to the bank with them, and they would’ve trusted me with the keys to the Jeep. I wasn’t the one to blame here.
We had been riding for hours when we finally began to slow. We were on a ravine overlooking a river, carefully making our way down. We stopped at the water’s edge to allow the horses to rest and drink before crossing.
Colt hoisted me from the saddle and I slipped, dropping to the ground and smacking my backside in the process. Dismounting himself, he reached out and jolted me to my feet. There was no tenderness, and his jaw was tight and brow furrowed as he walked away. He wouldn’t even make eye contact with me.
I rubbed my side. I knew he had been scared and was reacting with anger. But it spooked me. I’d never seen him like this before. I expected it from Callon, but not Colt. He had always been loving, caring, and gentle.
He walked to Daniel, spoke a few words, and grabbed a canteen. Neither of us had spoken since the incident. Was he really mad at me? I honestly wasn’t trying to be a problem. I didn’t like it when we were like this—the quietness was unnerving.
My words had been angry, had flowed from my mouth without thought to the consequences. I never wanted anything to come between us. Over the last few months, I had been very careful about my words and actions, but last night at the waterfall something changed. I had been fighting it, but knew deep down I loved him. He needed to know. I had promised myself I would never have regrets as I did with my parents. I would tell the people I loved how I felt about them and often. I could never live with that crushing blow again—ever.
I was going to have to speak first. I knew he saw the solemn look in my eyes as he neared with the canteen. From his expression, I wasn’t sure if he was going to throw it or hand it to me. He was upset, the cool distance of his gaze told me—somehow I’d crossed the line.
I hesitated as he stretched out his hand. He turned to leave, but I quickly latched my fingers around his wrist. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t turn to face me either.
“
Colt,” I said his name. He didn’t respond. “Colt, I’m sorry. I had no excuse to act the way I did. You risked your life to keep me safe. I’ll trust you.” This was the first time I’d said it out loud—I’d finally come to the point that I needed to. The library incident wouldn’t have happened if I’d just listened to Callon in the first place and not begged to go into town. I would have to accept his judgments more readily.
I hesitated and my voice cracked. I wanted to say it. My lower lip trembled, and my pulse began to race.
“
I—I love you.” I inhaled a shaky breath. I’d done it; I’d declared my love for him, the love that he wanted in return. I was offering it to him, and praying he would accept it.
We stood in silence; he didn’t move. He said nothing. I felt the tears welling up. I lowered my head, dropped his hand, and closed my eyes. I had created this mess; I would have to deal with the consequences. I buried my face in my hands, ashamed.
“
Did you mean that?” he suddenly asked.
Startled, I looked up into his face. His jaw was still tight.
“
Yes.”
“
Did you mean what you said?”
“
Yes, I love you.”
“
You love me the way I love you?” he said in an accusing tone.
“
Yes,” I whispered. “With every breath I take.”
“
What about Callon?”
“
I love you, Colt.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Still inches in front of me, he didn’t move, didn’t raise a hand, didn’t say anything more. I lowered my head and turned, walking away. I was crushed. I hadn’t expected this reaction. He didn’t try and stop me as I went to the river’s edge.
I stared out into the water. It wasn’t quiet or peaceful. It seemed annoyed that the rocks were blocking its path downstream. It would rise and fall and crash with rage against the boulders, sending a fury of water upwards.
My body began to ache; a feverish chill traced my spine. What was happening to me? Why had Colt’s feelings suddenly changed? After everything we’d been through, two years of pining for me, and all it took was a few words in anger to end it all?