‘Can I have a bath tonight?’ Sarah asked.
‘Of course you can. We all will,’ Mattie promised rashly. ‘Now, let’s go and look at the next floor.’
Six more bedrooms. What on earth were they going to do with all these rooms?
Next came the attics. In one area the servants slept, but they didn’t have a bathroom. She wondered if they were allowed to use the indoor bathroom for their baths, then realised that was up to her now.
She and Jacob had been up to this floor before, when they were finding clothes for Mattie, but she wanted the children to see everything. ‘We can use more of those clothes in the trunks,’ she said to Jacob. ‘I can alter them for me and Sarah. I’m a good dressmaker. No use letting beautiful materials go to waste.’
Jacob nodded and went on to examine the abandoned furniture. ‘Why they didn’t mend these things, I don’t know. It’s so wasteful to throw them out like this.’ He looked across the big, dusty space to where the children were looking at some old toys. ‘I don’t want my children growing up to think they can be wasteful.’
‘They won’t if we don’t let them,’ she said and won a quick nod from him at that. Relief coursed through her. It was like treading on eggshells talking to him at the moment.
When they got downstairs again, they sent the children outside to explore the gardens and Mattie turned to Jacob, seeing a closed-up expression on his face again. ‘Don’t.’
‘Don’t what?’
‘Act as if this all belongs to me, not us.’
‘It does belong to you.’
‘But we’re married.’
His voice was bitter. ‘Maybe if you’d waited a few more days, you could have got a better husband for yourself than a struggling market gardener.’
She felt tears rise in her eyes and stretched out one hand towards him, but he brushed it aside.
‘I’m sorry, Mattie. I don’t mean to hurt you, but it’s too much! I can’t sort it all out in my mind. I need time to think, to get used to it. You have to give me time!’
And he left the house.
Didn’t he realise it was too much for her as well? That she was having trouble coming to terms with it all, too? That she needed him beside her, helping her settle down to it?
She took refuge in the small sitting room, watching out of the window as he strode down the lane towards his own home. Then she bent her head, saw a tear drop on her skirt and another settle beside it and begin to soak in. But at the sound of footsteps, she hastily smeared the moisture away, fumbling for her handkerchief and pretending to blow her nose.
‘There you are, ma’am,’ Lyddie said. ‘Cook wants to know what to do about the extra food.’
‘Can you help me make a list of the families who’re short, then anything that’s likely to go off can be given to them? We’ll send Luke down to the village with a message and they can come up and fetch it themselves.’
‘Mr Kemble will know best who to ask. You bein’ a foreigner – excuse me for saying that – you won’t know who to help.’
‘He’s … um … seeing to things at home, his old home I mean, so we’d better not wait for him.’
‘You look tired, ma’am. I know you’ve been ill, so why don’t you have a rest? Me and Luke can nip down and see him. He’ll tell us who to give it to.’
‘All right, Lyddie. I am tired, I must admit.’
‘Shall I bring you a cup of tea before I go?’
‘No, I’ll come and fetch it myself later. I’m not thirsty.’
‘All right.’
Mattie saw Lyddie and the children pass the window a few minutes later, chatting easily, strolling through the lovely evening sunshine.
She felt even more alone when they’d vanished from sight. A foreigner. An outsider. And now the richest woman in the village as well. None of the other women would dare try to be friends with her now.
People dreamt of being rich – and she had too – but she’d never imagined money and possessions could make you unhappy.
A little later Mattie tried to arrange for the family to eat their evening meal in the kitchen.
Cook was scandalised. ‘You’ll not do that while I’m here.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because you’re the mistress now. It’s not right for you to eat in here.’
‘But I’m no different from what I was like this morning when we all ate our breakfast here together.’
Cook simply folded her arms and said firmly, ‘Things have changed. You’re the mistress. It’s bound to be different.’
‘I don’t think I know how to be the mistress of a big place like this.’
Cook’s outraged expression changed to sympathy. ‘If I can help you in any way, ma’am, you’ve only to ask. I do see that it’s a bit of a special case.’
‘Thank you. Can you think why Miss Newington left it all to me? I’ve racked my brain and can’t work it out.’
The stiffness came back. ‘It’s not my place to wonder what my employers are thinking. It’s my place to get the meals. And talking of meals, what time will the master be back?’
‘I don’t know.’ If she’d been her normal self, Mattie would have walked down to find out. She’d have enjoyed a stroll on such a lovely evening. But she felt utterly exhausted, so went back to sit in the armchair Miss Newington had used in the little sitting room. It was placed to watch the lane.
It suddenly occurred to her that the old lady had been lonely, too. Money hadn’t made her happy, either.
It was so comfortable Mattie found herself drowsing, and since there was nothing she had to do, she let herself slide into sleep. Just this once she’d be lazy and …
She woke with a start when someone said her name and shook her shoulder gently.
Jacob was kneeling beside the chair, looking at her anxiously. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I was tired.’
‘I keep forgetting how ill you’ve been. Don’t overdo things.’
‘I can’t. I get tired too quickly.’
‘Lyddie sent me to tell you she can serve our tea as soon as you like. Only she calls it dinner.’
Was that a trace of sarcasm in his voice? she wondered, but was too tired to pursue the matter. ‘I’ll just use the bathroom and be with you shortly.’ She hesitated, then couldn’t help asking, ‘Are you feeling better about the house now?’
He avoided her eyes. ‘I don’t know what I’m feeling, and that’s the truth. But you’ve got it, so I must do my best to get used to the idea.’
‘I’ll give it away if it upsets you that much. I don’t want it to come between us.’
He looked at her in surprise. ‘No need to do that. I told you: I’ll get used to it. Just … give me time.’
And then what? she wondered.
When she came down, he was waiting for her in the hall. ‘Let’s have our dinner now. I can’t remember you eating anything today. We don’t want you fainting on us. And Luke’s always hungry.’
Cook had fried up some of the fancy sandwiches, dipping them in beaten egg and milk, and they were delicious. There were scones and iced dainties to follow, little cakes so light they melted in your mouth with pretty designs in the icing on top. They’d been made for the funeral, were just as beautiful as those you saw in cake shops, not a twirl out of place. And Cook had opened a tin of peaches too, serving them with cream.
‘It’s a real feast!’ Mattie said as the second course was brought in.
‘I’ll tell Cook you’re pleased, shall I?’ Lyddie said.
‘Um … yes, please.’
Luke and his father did full justice to the meal, but Sarah was yawning over her plate and had to be reminded to eat a couple of times. Mattie still didn’t have her normal appetite back, but managed to eat a few bits of this and that, aware of Jacob’s eyes on the contents of her plate.
After the meal, Sarah asked, ‘Do me and Luke have to clear the table and wash up?’
‘No. Lyddie and Cook do that here.’
Luke beamed at that news.
‘We’ll find other jobs for you, son,’ Jacob said. ‘However much money Mattie has, you won’t be idling around. The gardens here are a disgrace. You can help me get them in order.’
Luke scowled. ‘Rich people don’t do the gardening!’
‘
You
…
are
not
…
rich
.’
Mattie stood up. ‘Come on, Sarah. Time for bed.’ She blinked her eyes rapidly and managed not to let any tears fall at Jacob’s continuing sharpness. She’d never cried easily, but lately she seemed near to tears quite often. It came of having been ill, she supposed, but knowing that didn’t make it any easier to control her emotions.
Sarah stayed where she was. ‘I don’t like being on my own in that big bedroom.’
‘You’ve been sleeping here on your own since Wednesday and you haven’t complained before,’ her father said sharply.
Mattie took her hand and led the way upstairs. ‘Your father and I are only down the corridor, just like we were at your old home. And you’ve got your doll to keep you company. Just think, you’ll be able to invite your friends from school to come and play with you here when it’s rainy. It’ll be fun having a big room like this.’
Lyddie popped her head round the door, then came in. ‘Everything all right, ma’am?’
‘Yes, thank you. Come on, Sarah. You need to use the bathroom before you go to bed.’
By that time the child was nearly asleep on her feet, but not too tired to marvel again at the inside toilet, which she seemed to consider the height of luxury. She didn’t talk about taking a bath now, was far too tired.
Jacob and Luke came upstairs just as Sarah was settling into bed and she woke up enough to demand a goodnight kiss from her father.
Mattie led the way into Luke’s bedroom and started straightening the bed.
Jacob immediately nudged his son. ‘You help Mattie with your bed. I’ll go and check on ours.’
The boy looked angry, muttering, ‘It’s women’s work, making beds.’
‘Who’ll be sleeping here?’ Jacob demanded. ‘Who?’
Luke shuffled his feet. ‘Me.’
‘Then you shouldn’t turn up your nose at helping get your own bed ready. When something needs doing, especially when it’s for you, you can’t just leave it to others.’
Luke didn’t say a word the whole time they were making the bed and Mattie wondered if the boy would ever accept her. She didn’t want to take his mother’s place, no one could do that, but she did want a place of her own in the family.
When she went into her own bedroom she found Jacob standing staring out of the window. She waited, hoping he’d not say anything else hurtful.
When he didn’t speak, she said, ‘I’ll go to bed myself now, I think.’
‘Before I join you, I’ll go down and check that everything’s all right for the night. I’m not expecting trouble, though. It’s too soon, I think.’
She’d intended to wait for him but he was longer than she’d expected and in the end she stopped trying to stay awake. If he wanted to come up late to avoid talking about their problems, there was nothing she could do about it, especially now, when she was so bewildered and weary.
On the Sunday morning Bart and Stan went by the early train to Wootton Bassett, intending to walk out to the village. But it turned out Stan had been misinformed and it was too far for them to get there and back on foot.
‘Is there a bus?’
‘Not for two hours,’ the station clerk said. ‘Aren’t you the two men who came here looking for someone the other week?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did you find them?’
‘Not yet. But we’ve been told one of them is living in Shallerton Bassett.’
‘Ah.’ He chewed the side of his mouth, then said, ‘There’s not many buses out there on a Sunday, an’ you’d have trouble getting back as well. My cousin could take you there in his cab. He doesn’t usually turn out on Sundays, but he’s a bit short of money just now. It’ll cost you, though.’
‘I’d be very grateful for a bit of help,’ Stan said.
‘I’ll send a lad to fetch him.’ The clerk put his fingers to his mouth and let out a piercing whistle. A lad came running, and was soon tearing down the street on his errand, richer by threepence.
It was another twenty minutes before a horse and cab clopped into view.
‘Free with your money, aren’t you?’ Bart said sourly as the cab set off. ‘She ent worth the time or the money, that one.’
‘You’re spending your time on her, too.’
‘Only because I want to find out where my girls are. If I had my way, I’d give that Mattie a good beating, the ungrateful bitch.’
‘Make sure you don’t touch her this time.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t want you hurting her again.’
‘I keep telling you, she’s one as needs keeping in order.’
‘Just remember what I said. And anyway, that’s her husband’s business now.’
‘Husband! He must be desperate to marry her.’ With a snort of disgust, Bart slouched further down on the seat.
Stan said nothing else, just sat and endured the jolting, his thoughts on Mattie, as they had been for weeks now. He stared out of the cab window. Why anyone would want to live out in the middle of nowhere, he’d never understood, but he supposed someone had to farm the land and produce the food. He was glad it wasn’t him, though. Give him the town any time.
But his thoughts kept coming back to Mattie. Who was this fellow she’d wed? Why had she broken her promise to marry him?
He didn’t even know why he was doing this since she was wed and beyond him now, but for some reason he had to see the fellow she’d chosen instead of him and find out where he’d gone wrong. He didn’t like to fail. And he was sorry he wasn’t going to marry her. Very sorry indeed.
Mattie woke to find Jacob trying to creep quietly out of the bedroom. ‘I’m awake.’
He paused near the door. ‘Sorry. I wanted you to get a bit of a lie-in.’
She pushed herself into a sitting position, seeing the sunlight making bright lines along the edges of the curtains. ‘On a lovely day like this? Anyway, I’m not one for lying in bed. I’d rather be getting on with things.’
‘You’ve got servants to do that now.’
‘I don’t know how to deal with servants. Jacob, please … you have to help me!’ Her voice broke on the words but it didn’t bring him to her side.
His voice became gentler, though. ‘I don’t know how to deal with servants, either. Tell them to carry on as usual. I’ve got to feed the hens. We’ll have breakfast together in an hour or so and talk then. We might as well let the kids sleep in for a bit, just this once, though Luke has to get to church in time to sing in the choir.’