Cherry Red Summer (Emely and Elyas Book 1) (31 page)

Elyas grinned. “Oh, you don’t mean that, sweetums.”

“True,” I said. “What I’d actually prefer is that you never come back. Ever.” I increased the space between us again, and gave him the cold shoulder.

“Elyas,” I heard Andy say. “Why don’t you just tell her you like her?”

Oh, great. Now his friends were in on it.

“Emely,” Elyas said, though I didn’t look at him. “Please look at me.”

“Why?”

“Please.”

Something in his voice made me act against my will. I turned to him and looked into his eyes. I felt caught in some kind of magic spell emanating from the blue-green rim of his irises.

“Emely, I like you,” he said.

I stopped breathing as warmth flooded me from head to foot.

Why couldn’t these words actually be true?

I looked back at the fire. “If you say so, Elyas.”

“That’s why,” he said with a sigh, turning to Andy.

Elyas and I didn’t say anything to each other for fifteen minutes. The mood in the group was pleasant again; the incident with Jessica had receded in everyone’s minds, but an invisible wall had arisen between Elyas and me. It was odd. Normally I was the one who put up the wall, but this time it was Elyas. I was surprised when my name came out of his mouth again after the pause.

“Say, Alex,” Elyas said. “Is Emely always s
o . . .
uptight
?”

I stared at him, mouth agape. Then I hit his shoulder. “You are so full of BS!”

He laughed. “OK, then let’s sa
y . . .
standoffish
. Is she that way just with me or with other guys, too?”

“Hmm
. . . ,
” Alex said, running her fingers over Sebastian’s hands, which were around her middle. Elyas took a sip of water. “It’s probably because she’s a virgin.”

Elyas spit his water out into the fire. He lowered his head and coughed several times. Meanwhile
I
couldn’t believe what I had heard. What kind of crap was Alex talking?

“V-v-virgin?” Elyas stammered, his eyes tearing up from having choked on the water.

“Of course, you jerk,” I moaned. “I’ve been saving myself for you. What do you think?” I had a good idea what the word
virgin
conjured in a stupid man’s head. “What kind of bullshit is that?” I asked Alex. She giggled, but everyone else didn’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for me.

“My Go
d . . .
Emel
y . . .
a virgin
. . . ,
” Elyas said with a trembling jaw. “Please, come with me into the ten
t . . .
pleas
e . . .
I’ll be very gentle, I promise,” he pleaded.

I dropped my forehead into my hand. “God, Elyas! This is total crap. I’m twenty-three! Do I look remotely that desperate? No! So much for the topic of virgins.” I glared back at Alex. “Now tell them the truth.”

She grinned. “OK, fine. Maybe not a virgin in the conventional sense
. . .
”

“What does that mean, ‘not in the conventional sense’? Alex, stop messing around. Otherwise your terrorist of a brother won’t give me a moment’s peace!”

“I just mean you could pass for one again.”

“Why are we discussing my sex life in front of others?” My voice was getting higher and higher.

“Let’s be honest, Emely,” she said, unfazed. “How long has it been since you had sex?”

I puffed up my cheeks, but instead of replying, I let the air out of my mouth. When had the Beatles come out with their first album again?

Everyone looked at me, as my ears got hotter and hotter.

“See?” Alex laughed. “You don’t even know, yourself.”

I pressed my lips together. “Of course I know! But it’s none of your business!”

“She doesn’t know,” Alex sang.

God, what kind of a shitty person was I calling my best friend? And why hadn’t I wrung her neck ages ago?

“Don’t be embarrassed, Emely,” Elyas said, scooting closer to me. “I haven’t had sex for three months, myself.”

Three months? Was he trying to pull one over on me again? Why didn’t he just say the day before yesterday?”

“That’s a long time, for Elyas,” Andy explained.

“Alex, I hate you! I hate you. I hate you.”

“Oh, come on. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. But it is a fact.” She shrugged.

My eyes narrowed into the darkest of glares. “You think you get to open that gaping flytrap of yours just because you’ve got Mr. ‘I know all your wishes just from looking into your eyes and I like to cuddle and sex can wait and I look hot, too’ sitting there next to you!” I shot an apologetic look at Sebastian, who merely raised his hand to say he could live with that description.

“Hey, except for the ‘sex can wait’ part, you can have all that with me!” Elyas interjected. I just glared at him.

“I only mean you don’t need to keep everyone and everything at bay,” Alex said.

“I don’t keep everyone and everything at bay. Just your stupid brother! Now let’s change the subject!”

“Stupid?” Elyas repeated.

“Yes, stupid! And stop driving me crazy!” But that was exactly what he was planning, and he smiled. I ground my teeth.

“And what about Luca?” Alex asked. “Why haven’t you met up with him yet?”

She did not just say that, did she? I stared at her.

I was seriously going to chop off her head.

“Luca?” Elyas asked.

No, chopping off her head wouldn’t hurt enough. I was going to flay her skin with a potato peeler.

“Say, Alex?” I hissed at her with a glare. “Have you shown Sebastian your Smurf panties yet?”

That was a declaration of war. A war Alex would lose. The color drained from her face.

“Smurf panties?” Sebastian asked.

Take that, my shitty best friend!

But it was for naught, because Sebastian thought it was
cute.
My God, was he gay or something?

All I could do for the next half hour was sulk. Things eventually calmed down, and little by little the conversations died down and the couples drew closer to each other. Sophie and Andy were kissing, apparently taking no notice of anyone else. Alex and Sebastian were the same, whispering into each other’s ears and making each other smile.

I sat cross-legged, listening to “Flames” by Vast on the boom box, lost in my thoughts as I played with a blade of grass. Elyas was beside me on his back, propping himself up on his elbows. I could tell he was looking at me, although my back was to him. That way I didn’t have to constantly notice him out of the corner of my eye.

Emely, I like you.

I couldn’t get those words out of my head. They were like a never-ending echo between my ears. But I knew, I just knew, I couldn’t believe them. But what if I could? What if—

Did I want to consider the what-ifs?

My gut told me Elyas wasn’t the kind of guy to give your heart to. Even if the impossible was true and he had feelings for me—how in the world would I keep someone like him? It’d be easier to catch the wind in my fingers.

My emotions from high school overwhelmed me, taking over my body like a vicious, oppressive substance in my chest. I couldn’t breathe right anymore.

I never, ever, wanted to experience something like that again. I wouldn’t survive a second time.

And some people hide behind a mask because they’re afraid of being hurt.

Sebastian’s words now stuck in my mind, a constant buzzing in the background.

Elyas had broken my heart, yes, but I was realizing that was only part of the story. Sooner or later, suppressed feelings screamed louder and louder until you couldn’t ignore them anymore. It was not a coincidence that my relationships after Elyas had been superficial. My subconscious had guided me directly into flimsy, risk-free connections with other people. But I felt OK as long as my love was weak enough and control over my feelings didn’t slip through my fingers.

Love was a gift; it made life worth living and much more beautiful than it could ever be without love. At the same time, love wielded so much power and entailed so much darkness, it could easily bury people. Love could destroy everything you had built up. Love could bring someone to hate herself
. . .

I let my head sink. The melody of the song was so melancholy, so full of feeling. One second I was floating, the next my limbs felt like lead, weighing me down until I was swallowed by nothingness. The silky, liquid words floated above the melody, as though they had been written for this particular moment. Every line fit so well, I got goose bumps. I looked into the flames, watching them rise up, writhe, and withdraw as they devoured the dry wood underneath. With every crackle the branches lost more life, collapsing more and more and eventually succumbing to the heat. At some point, the only thing left would be a mound of ashes, a reminder of the circle of life.

I wasn’t sure if it was a dream when I felt a hand lightly touch my back as I bent forward toward the fire. Warmth spread from the spot of the touch and covered my whole back. The hand moved up my spine, gently and tenderly, leaving nothing but tingling behind. The touch was different; it felt like a loving gesture of affection.

“Elyas
. . . ,
” I said with a scratchy voice. He took his hand off and the warmth on my back was replaced with an unpleasant chill.

“Sorry,” he whispered, sitting up. He scooted over to my side, much too close, and joined me in watching my hands play with the blade of grass.

“Is everything OK with you?” he asked. His voice, his beautiful voice. It enveloped my heart, like the tentacles of an octopus around its prey.

I nodded.

Nothing was OK, nothing at all.

Elyas stretched out his arm and traced his fingers over the scratch I had gotten while gathering wood. My hand responded to him as though my skin were as thin as tissue paper.

“What did you do here?” he asked softly. His fingers moved over the wound, learning its shape.

I pulled my hand away. “The firewood didn’t want to be tamed.”

He smiled. “You really need to take care of yourself better, Emely.”

I nodded and looked to the side. My thoughts had left me in much too unstable a mood. One look into his eyes would be my demise, giving me the last push to send me plummeting over the edge. I would sink into them inexorably, becoming powerless, and he would be able to do anything he wanted with me.

Two breaths later I felt a drop of water on my skin, then several, and then it started pouring. The tide had been bound to turn in my direction at some point, and evidently now was that time.

“Shit,” I heard Andy say.

“The boom box!” Sebastian said. He took off his jacket as he stood, laying it over the device, and headed to the car with it as the rest of us got to our feet.

“Dammit! All the blankets are getting wet!” Sophie yelled as she frantically started gathering them up.

Elyas stood there and sighed. Despite the rain, I doused the fire with the four water buckets Sebastian had set out earlier, just to be sure it was out. An acrid white smoke rose into the dark sky. Sophie and Andy ran for the tents, arms full. Sebastian came back, picked up the last blanket, and held it over Alex’s head. I looked around to see if anything was left, but apart from bottles and beer cans, there was nothing.

“Good night, Elyas,” I called, pulling up my hood and running off.

Alex and Sebastian stood in front of our tent saying good night for about the next decade. I wriggled past them and crawled in. My hair was dripping, and my clothes were damp. I slid off my jeans, opened my backpack, and pulled out my pajama pants. I hadn’t thought to bring a pajama top, sadly. I put on the pants and waited for Alex to come inside. It felt like forever.

“Do you have a thin sweater or T-shirt I could borrow?” I asked. Unlike me, Alex had brought a fully packed travel bag.

“Sure,” she said, unzipping the bag and rummaging in it. “Here, this should fit.” She held out a black sweatshirt, which I immediately pulled on.

“That’s great. Thank you.”

She wrinkled her nose. “And to think you made fun of all my luggage this afternoon!”

“Yeah,” I said, “because we’re only going to be here for one night, not two months.”

“I’m prepared for any situation, and you are benefiting from that right now.” She stretched and changed into her pajamas as well. Once she had on her light-blue silk pajamas, neither of said anything for a moment.

“What is it?” I said.

She exhaled. “I miss Sebastian.”

“You’ve been apart for ten minutes.”

“I know. Sooo long!” She rested her chin in her hands, lying on her stomach.

“Alex, you’ll see him again in a couple of hours.” I unrolled my sleeping bag and crawled inside.

“I don’t think I can make it a minute without him. We didn’t even say a proper good-night,” she mumbled.

“You were in front of the tent for an eternity saying good night!”

“It was still so abrupt. Stupid rain.”

No, not at all. Good rain!

Alex followed my lead and crawled into her sleeping bag as well. The rustling had hardly stopped when a cell phone beeped. I tried to find mine, but Alex squealed as she picked up hers. “It’s Sebastian!”

I rolled onto my back.

“He is sooo sweet, Emely. Do you have any idea how sweet he is?” She held her phone to her heart, and I shook my head. “Wait, I totally have to read this aloud!” She sat up. “Do you know how cold I feel since you’ve been gone? I’ve missed you from the second I let go of you. Instead of holding you in my arms now, I’m lying beside your brother, and unfortunately he is only half as snuggly as you are. He says to tell Emely hi and that he misses her, too. Sleep tight, Alex. Love, Sebastian.”

I sighed; Elyas had said to say hi to me. Oh, joy. Without wanting to, I imagined him lying next to Sebastian in the tent.

“Isn’t he sweet?” Alex said.

“Yes, he is. Pretty freaking sweet, in fact.”

“Good, so you agree,” she said, jumping up.

“Agree with what?” I watched her start digging wildly through her bag. “That I should go over there right now and thank him for his text message.”